As the Stars Align
by AnimaGM
Summary: After years of living on her own and learning to be self-sufficient, Rachel finally gets a chance to be normal once again. At the McKinley School for Gifted Students, she has the chance to make the fathers she left behind proud. When she meets another girl who's as headstrong and resilient as she is, things change and secrets are revealed. AU Supernatural!Faberry.
1. Chapter 1

Rachel followed the directions she had received from the mystery man, Puck. She headed towards the infirmary, easily following the signs once she hit the second floor. Most of the students tended to stay out of her way after news traveled of what she'd done to the few who had tried to pick on her. Her combat boots rang out on the linoleum floor as she stepped up to the infirmary door. The brunette figured Puck must be a previous student, perhaps one of the mentors that Dr. Schuester had explained to her when he'd given her a brief history and tour of the institute. It really didn't matter to her, as long as she could acquire the books she needed to begin reading ahead in her studies. Having been on the street most of her life, the young telepath had quite a lot of material to catch up on. She'd taught herself many subjects while she was on her own, but none of it had been structured and now she had to go over pre-requisites that she hadn't learned. It would take a bit of work, but she was nothing if not determined.

Pushing the door open, Rachel stepped inside the room and looked around for a moment. "Is Puck here?" she asked, hoping that the boy who answered her wasn't playing a prank. She really _hated_ wasting her time. After all, Rachel (and her scars) could attest to the knowledge that life was short and things turned on a dime at any moment. She disliked knowing she could have been doing something else considering, as someone "gifted", she figured she was short on time as it was.

Puck was lying on the bed in the infirmary, his legs propped up against the wall, and his head overhanging the side of the bed. He gave her an upside-down smile, before flipping the right way up.

"Guilty as charged," he stood up. "You're Rachel?" he asked as he went over to his bags to retrieve the books he'd promised her.

Rachel looked at Puck for a moment, studying him before she answered. "Yes, I'm Rachel. You said you'd let me have your old textbooks?" she queried. Looking around the room, she took in the layout and the furnishings. It looked like a hospital room with beds lining either wall to house the injured. No one was using any of the beds currently.

She glanced back at Puck, glancing over him as her moved. "Why are you in here? Clearly, nobody's injured and you seem fine," she stated, waiting as he filed through his belongings.

Puck threw a glance over his shoulder at Rachel. "Resident healer," he explained, before turning back to her, holding a huge stack of books. "I usually hang out in here in my free time," he tried to shrug, but the pile of books made the gesture difficult.

Nodding at his response, Rachel grabbed the books from him. "Well, thank you for your assistance. This will greatly help me in my studies," she said, offering him a small smile. "Considering your position, I hope we do not see each other often...or at all, for that matter." She began to make her way back to the door to leave.

"Oh, 'fraid we will. Every day," Puck smirked. "Sorry," he said, and waited for the confusion to kick in. He did like doing that to people on purpose, far better than when it was unintentional.

"A healer and a seer? Interesting combination, if that's really the case," Rachel raised an eyebrow at Puck. "I'd better keep my wits about me if I wish to carve out my own destiny rather than the one seen in a vision. Have a good day, Puck." She nodded to him, shifting the books in her arms and pushed her back against the door to open it so that she could make her way back to her room. The healer was certainly a strange guy, but he had been kind enough to give her the textbooks.

Puck rolled his eyes. He was _psychic_ now? "Not what I was getting at, Rachel," he called after her. He'd seen her name on the list of students he'd been given to mentor, about an hour previous. "You're training with me at four," he told her.

Rachel was almost out the door when she heard him call out. "Bullshit. I came here to go to school. Why do I need to train with you, exactly?" she shook her head. "Besides, healer, I doubt there's anything you could teach me. But thanks for the offer." She gave a short laugh and headed out into the hallway, making her way back to her locker.

Yeah, she was gonna be all kinds of _fun_. He rolled his eyes. Once she realized that Ability Control Training was a mandatory part of the syllabus at McKinley, she'd show. If not, he'd just have to go fetch her.


	2. Chapter 2

Rachel hadn't shown up for training, the day before, and he hadn't _really_expected her to. That's why he was going to fetch her from her room, and calmly explain that however skilled she was, with her abilities, she still _had_ to train. If that didn't work, then he had a few more tactics up his sleeve.

He knocked on the door and waited.

Pouring over her books, Rachel heard the knock at her door. She grumbled slightly and got up from her desk chair. She really hoped it wasn't another idiot playing some stupid prank on her. The telepath was at her wits end, but it did seem like people were beginning to get the drift and back off. Grabbing the doorknob, she pulled open the door and glared at the person in front of her for a moment.

"Oh, it's you. Hello, Puck. Is that really your name...?" she furrowed her brows for a moment before shaking her head. "No matter. What brings you here? I'm a little busy catching up on the pre-requisites for the subjects I'm taking, so if you could make this quick I'd appreciate it."

Puck huffed out a laugh. "No, not really." That was all he had to say on the topic of his name.

"Well, you're about to be late to a mandatory training session, from which unauthorised absences, may result in your expulsion. The negation of your status as a student at this school might render your urgent studies, unnecessary. Wouldn't you agree?" Puck smirked. He was deliberately using some of the bigger words in his vocabulary. Sometimes, if you wanted to get through to people, you had to speak their language. "You already have one strike against you, so move your ass."

Glowering, Rachel turned and moved to mark the pages in her books. "Seriously? I really don't need a training session. I've been training all of my life...in the real world, where things can kill you if you're not quick enough," she crossed her arms and turned to glare at Puck. "I'll come...if you tell me your name." She smiled sweetly at the boy in front of her waiting to hear his response.

Puck rolled his eyes. "I'm really gonna have to _bribe_ you to come train with me? You're worse than me, and _I_ blackmailed Dr Shuester into buying me an xbox, by refusing to stop using my powers in biology," he shook his head and laughed. "Fine. My name isn't some sort of government secret, for God's sake. It's Noah. Now come on."

"That wasn't so hard, was it _Noah_?" she grinned broadly and stepped out of her room, closing the door behind her. "Where to, Sergeant?"

Puck looked down at the short girl. "You're gonna be an interesting one, I can tell," he said. "My other charges are afraid of me, and that's just getting old."

He started down the hallway. "Well, seeing as your power is totally an active one... To the bunker."

Laughing at his comment, Rachel began following Puck. "I'm afraid of very few things, Noah. I do hope to keep things lively though," she winked and chuckled. "A bunker? How militant. What exactly is the purpose of all this?" She was curious as to why she would need training. Dr. Schuester knew of her background...well, most of it. He should know that she had complete control over her abilities.

Puck shrugged. "You'd be surprised how necessary the bunker is. I just doused the place in gas and tried to get a novice pyrokinetic to light the place up... Necessary," he confirmed. "The point, short-stack, is to learn _when_ to use your powers." He pulled a file from his bag, as they walked. "Know what this is?"

"Sounds like fun...in a dangerous sort of way," Rachel arched an eyebrow at her companion. "Already familiar enough to call me nicknames, hmmm? You know, greater men have come away injured in doing so, Noah." She quirked her lips in a smirk. For some reason though, Rachel felt comfortable enough with the guy beside her to allow him a certain amount of leeway.

"I could easily find out what that is by delving inside your head, but I refrain from using my gift if I can just ask nicely...or if I already have a good idea as to the answer," she sniffed and shrugged. "It's my file. I'm guessing Schuester gave it to you since you're my _mentor_ and all."

"It's your file alright. But he actually only gave me some of it, so I had to break into his office for the good stuff... I mean come on. Nobody's file is just a name, date of birth, list of powers and a blank space for medical history, right?" He pulled out a smaller file from the back of it, and handed it to her. It was marked _FOR URGENT ATTENTION_. "Witness statements, from students claiming that you assaulted them, using your powers. Count them."

Rolling her eyes, Rachel handed the documents back to Puck. "I'm not going to count them. I know what I've done and why I've done it, Noah. People look at me and see a short girl who is easy to pick on and push around. Most of the time, I let it go. I can take insults, but I won't be physically attacked. I've learned the consequences of that before," she stated sharply. "You should have kept your nose out of my file. If doc didn't give you the information, then you didn't need to know and he obviously trusts me to handle myself."

She didn't like other people nosing around in her business, but thankfully the only thing Puck had seen was her incidents at the school and nothing about her past. "I never harmed anyone, I moved them out of my way and went about my own business," the brunette said.

Puck sighed and put the files away. "You're lucky I did" he said. "For urgent attention? You're gonna get kicked out Rachel. Already. Nobody _physically_ attacked you, did they? If they had, they wouldn't have gone crying to my dad about you stopping them." He opened a door for her and waited for her to go through, before following.

"McKinley is a safe place. Certainly the safest place for people like us." He thought so, anyway. This was the only home he'd ever known, and it certainly felt safe to him. "The people who were _in your way_ were just feelin out the new kid. I should know, I'd have done the same, probably." He walked out of the door and into the court yard.

"It doesn't matter if you hurt anybody or not. We don't use out powers on other people without permission. Even _I_ don't. This isn't the outside, and there are rules."

Rachel stepped through the door and turned around to speak to her mentor. "Are you for real? Do you even listen to yourself? Tell me...if your masculinity was called into question by a girl and a girl like me no less, you wouldn't try to get back at me? They went crying to your adoptive father because that was the only way they could do _anything_ to me," she shook her head in distaste. "Bullies will be bullies whether they are gifted or not."

"As for _feeling me out_? I have been perfectly polite to every student I've come into contact with. I've either been insulted, laughed at, ignored, or intimidated. I don't _do_ intimidation, Noah," she narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. "Look, if Dr. Schuester wants me out, then I will be glad to speak with him and pack my bags if necessary. I don't do anything without thinking it through first and I certainly don't harm people unnecessarily."

The brunette was unhappy with the situation. It was always her motives being called into question. Yes, she had a powerful gift. She _knew_ that though. She hadn't physically harmed anyone since her father...even when her life was on the line. "Oh and by the way, Puckerman...that file has way too many reports. I know every mind I've touched and I can tell you right now that many of those are false claims."

Puck just gritted his teeth and listened to her angry rant. Did she not see that he was trying to help her? That he wasn't the enemy? It was clear from not only the way she was talking to him, but her body language, that she thought he was. This wasn't merely her being a little defensive, and it was quickly becoming clear to him, how the incidents in the file, had happened.

He believed her about the false reports, though. He knew everyone who'd made a claim against her, and for the most part, he didn't trust 90% of them any further than he could throw themm, certainly less than he trusted Rachel, and he'd known her for all of ten minutes.

He handed the file back to her. "Which ones are made up?"

"Does it matter? It's my word against theirs and the incidents have already been filed," Rachel laughed dismissively at the idea. "Look just show me whatever training you want me to do and I'll do it, okay? I'd like to get this underway so that I can go back to my studies. It's been a long time since I've had peace and quiet to read."

The brunette gently handed the file back and turned around. She began to run around the perimeter of the bunker to warm up and stretched once she felt she'd run enough laps. It had been easy enough to keep herself in shape and slacking off could be detrimental to her future when she was on her own. Living at the school was no different. She still planned to keep up her training and if it was set at mandatory times, so be it.

"Well I was hardly gonna have them called in to see Dr. Shue. Do I look like faculty, or some shit?" He asked rhetorically. "Fine" he put the file back in his bag. "I'll be warming up inside. Don't be too long," he instructed, before rolling up the door and ducking under it.

Once inside, he backed against the wall and faded out.

It took her fifteen minutes to complete her warm up and stretches before Rachel entered the bunker. She looked around for Puck, but couldn't find him. "I do not have time for this..." she sighed and walked around. "Noah? Where are you? I'm tired and I don't really feel like stretching my power to hear your thoughts to see if you're even still in here." She shook her head slightly and began some of her own training, slipping into different forms of combat as she practiced her attacks and dodges.

She patiently waited for the boy to show again. If he didn't, she'd simply spend the time training and then leave. At least Dr. Schuester couldn't be mad at her then. She'd have spent the required time. It's not her fault Puck had gone AWOL.

She'd passed her first test by staying in the bunker, and her second by starting her training without him. Now it was time for the third. He snuck up behind her, adjusted his stance so he'd keep his balance easier, and tapped her on the shoulder. He as ready to dodge out of the way, should she attempt to attack what looked like thin air.

Rachel's senses were pretty attuned to combat. She'd been through enough to know. Her ears picked up the slight sound of footsteps behind her. She felt the tap on her shoulder and smirked, whirling in place to face...nothing. Since she now knew the boy was in the vicinity, she pushed her gift to capture the thoughts of others. The brunette hated doing it, but Puck could be phasing or teleporting or something else. It put the most strain on her mind, but it was a necessary evil sometimes.

As soon as his thoughts hit her she shook her head and raised her hand to his forehead, flicking him right between his eyebrows with her middle finger. "Invisibility? How useful...I hope you have a reason for giving me a migraine," she relaxed her stance and crossed her arms.

"I certainly do," he replied, as he reappeared. "Gimme a sec," he said, dropping his bag by the wall, pulling his jacket off and kicking off his sneakers.

He sniffed at the air. "I really should have cleaned this place up better after my last class. It stinks." He was pretty sure the fumes do him much harm, but he was a little concerned for Rachel. "We should take this outside. We're not exactly blowing anything up." The bunker had all of the crash mats and other equipment, but they'd make do.

Smirking and rubbing her forehead, Rachel allowed Puck to ready himself for whatever training he believed she required. She _hated_ stretching her mind like that. It always ended up making her head hurt. Other things would as well, but she'd never used that much power for a while. "I agree...the smell isn't helping my head. Remind me to choose dates to train when the pyro isn't around," she joked, walking out of the bunker.

"I believe we've just found something about your abilities to work on, for the future," he rolled the door up for her. "They're not supposed to hurt."

"You know I train you both, every day," he rolled his eyes. "If you want, I can ask him to switch session times with you, so that you're first, if you want? Sam probably won't mind, and he isn't in class right now."

Rachel looked over at Puck and smirked. "We can try, but I don't know if it'll fix anything. The mind is quite different than the body, Noah. You strain your senses enough and it comes back to bite you. We may be gifted, but we're certainly not all powerful," she stated, rolling her neck to release some tension. "Delving into a person's mind, hearing their thoughts...it can be painful. I'm not sure I want to learn to be free of that reminder. It's like my warning bell." Where would she be if everything was so effortless? If she hadn't passed out when she was a child, what might have happened? The brunette didn't really want to over think it.

"Being first would be good since I clearly have more control than the Human Torch does. I'd rather not have to smell the fruits of his labor every time we get together. Do we really have to do this every day? For how long?" she frowned and sighed, pushing some hair back from her face.

"Oh, trust me, I know" he said. "My healing power still knocks me around like I've gone 10 rounds with a block of cement, if I have to use it too much. Last year, my buddy... fell off a roof" he said, circumnavigating the truth, deftly. "Got hurt really bad. I healed him just fine. But he then had to haul my ass back to the infirmary, so I could sleep for two days." He frowned at the memory of how ill he'd felt. He'd deserved it, but that hadn't made it suck any less.

"But if I'd tried that a few years before... I'd have died, I'm sure of it. Practice isn't gonna make it _easy_. Not by any stretch of the imagination. But it makes it more managable. _That's_what we'll work on." He looked at her, as if to ask her if she agreed with him. "There's no way I want you to take your abilities for granted. That was my point earlier, but my job is to make you stronger. As long as you have your feet on the ground, there's nothing wrong with that." He offered her an encouraging smile.

"I'll talk to Sam tonight," he confirmed. "And I'll let you know what he said in the morning." He rushed through a few stretches. He'd already been sparring with Sam, before he'd gone to find Rachel - well kicking his ass, actually - so he didn't need much of a warm up.

"Yes, we do. For as long as I say, Short Stack." He said, trying to rile her up just a little. "Now," he took a firm, starting stance for their sparring session. He'd read her file, of course, and was well aware that she'd know how to take care of herself. "Let's see what you got."

Rachel listened to Puck talk about his own past experiences. It sounded like the boy had quite an experience healing his friend. She wanted to tell him that she didn't _want_ to get any stronger. It was already scary enough having this power inside of her. It had forced her to leave her family. It had made her live alone for most of her life. She didn't want to deter her mentor though so she just nodded along.

"Whatever," she rolled her eyes at his nickname. The brunette eased herself into a defensive fighting stance and awaited Puck's attack. She'd dealt with many guys like him more times than she could count. She really didn't relish having to do this every day. The telepath began to rethink coming to the school.

Reminding himself not to go too easy on her, just because she was so small, he launched his attack. He threw a few jabs at her, which she blocked easily, before finding a gap to retaliate. She managed to back him up enough to find the space to swipe her foot at his head. He barely ducked it, spun out of her way and scowled at her for a moment, before regrouping and starting again.

Feeling herself fall into the ease of sparring with someone else, Rachel danced with Puck. She allowed him to push her back a few feet before she would do the same to him. He wasn't bad on his feet and he certainly had some skill, but she could tell his life had been at the school. She'd had to fight people who wanted to kill her. The brunette would never use her power on someone who didn't deserve it and especially when training with someone.

It didn't matter. She wouldn't have to with Puck. When she saw an opening, she took it. Rachel barely picked it up, but her senses were well-trained and when he went to feint she easily knew his next move. As his fist passed by her, she moved to grab his wrist, giving him a quick slap to the face to give him the heads up he'd have been clocked before using his own momentum against him and tossing him over her hip onto the ground.

"Not bad, Noah. You just need to make sure you don't give yourself away before you make your move. I almost didn't catch it," she smirked and stepped back from him, running a hand through her hair.

"Cute," Puck said, with a roll of his eyes, before flipping onto his feet. "Again," he anounced, before going for her, once more, putting a little more effort into it this time.

Rachel danced with Puck as they sparred with one another, both learning from each other as the time passed. After a while, the brunette flipped away from the boy. "Are we done now? We've been at it for over an hour. I'm tired, sore, and I really have some reading I need to catch up on," she wiped sweat from her brow, taking a few deep breaths to calm her racing pulse.

Puck checked his watch. Turns out, she was right. "Yeah," he panted. "Sorry. I'll set an alarm on my phone tomorrow."

Waving Puck off, Rachel allowed herself to relax and began winding down. "Don't worry about it. I wasn't paying much attention because you were actually keeping up with me and it's been a while since I've had a decent sparring partner," she smiled at him. "Thanks for the lessons, Teach..." She chuckled lightly and winked at him.

"I suppose I'll see you tomorrow. Let me know if the time has changed," she straightened out her hair and clothes as best as she could, getting ready to leave.

Puck nodded. "I'll come find you at breakfast," he confirmed, before grabbing his stuff from the bunker and reappearing moments later. "What's the betting Sam's used all of the hot water, after training?" he asked Rachel, as if she actually knew.

"I guess it sucks that you're not the pyro then, hmmm?" Rachel laughed and waved to her mentor as she began to head back to her room. "Have a good evening, Noah."


	3. Chapter 3

Puck walked into the dining hall and grabbed his usual giant mug of coffee (he always took his own Spiderman one with him) and plate of scrambled eggs and toast, before looking around to decide where to sit. He saw Rachel, already seated at a table and there was plenty of space around her, so he walked over. He needed to talk to her anyway.

"Morning," he mumbled, not quite awake, as he sat down on the bench next to her.

Rachel was nursing her morning coffee, glancing around at the other students filling the cafeteria. Most of them were avoiding her like the plague and she didn't blame them. She just wished some people would try kindness instead of brute force for once. How are was it to try to make a friend? It annoyed her to no end, but she didn't dwell on those thoughts.

When Puck sat down next to her, she turned to greet him. "Good morning, Noah. Ready to face another day?" she asked, sounding mock excited and rolling her eyes.

"Ask me again, after this has kicked in" he raised his mug, indicating that he was talking about his coffee. "How're you doin'?" Puck asked, giving her a bleary-eyed half smile, before biting into a piece of toast.

Rachel chuckled and shook her head at the boy. "I'm all right. I'm still catching up on the material for my courses, but I think if I keep up with the schedule I've made for myself I should be able to be all caught up by the end of next week," she shrugged and took another sip of her coffee. "How about you?"

"Wiped out and groggy?" He made it sound like some sort of question. "Sam set his futon on fire last night, and I had to go and be all _nice_ and shit, and let him bunk with me." He took another bite of food and chewed slowly. "Dude moves around in his sleep, like it's his job, or something," he frowned.

Rachel's eyebrows lifted, but she said nothing. "Sounds like a pleasant night. Aren't you just the chivalrous mentor, hmmm?" she smirked and rested her chin in her hand.

Puck shrugged. "He'd only have bitched, if I'd made him sleep on the floor, and I wouldn't have gotten any more sleep than I did, anyway." He took a sip of his coffee. "But I'm damn well stealing him a mattress from the infirmary tonight" he told her.

"I see," Rachel nodded, but gave Puck a strange look. "Well, good luck acquiring another mattress for the Human Torch. My evening will consist of more reading." She rolled her neck to release the kinks and took another sip of her morning brew.

Sam walked into the cafeteria, looking like he'd just rolled out of bed. In actual fact, that wasn't too far removed from the truth. He'd slept better than he had in months and hadn't heard the alarm clock or even really stirred when his roommate had tried to wake him.

When he'd finally woken he'd only had time to change his sweatpants for jeans, brush his teeth and shove his sneakers on, before rushing upstairs, worried about missing breakfast.

He spotted Puck sitting next to some pretty brunette, and he found himself feeling a little jealous. He rolled his eyes at himself, and how ridiculous that was, before walking over to them, and sitting next to Puck.

"S'up?" he mumbled, greeting them both.

"Hmmm, reading... Sounds _awesome,_" he said sarcatically. "I might just kick him out, so that he has to move into the infirmary," Puck joked.

"Oh my God! It lives!" He elbowed Sam in the ribs, when he sat down. "Sam, this is Rachel. The girl who doesn't appreciate having to use the bunker after you... Dude, did you _look_ in the mirror yet?"

Rachel looked up at the newcomer. He seemed a little out of it still, but generally harmless. Hearing Puck's comment about the bunker, her thoughts clicked into place. "Ah, if it isn't our pyrokinetic. Please try not to light anything on fire before I leave. I had to deal with the smell in the bunker during yesterday's training," she made a face before putting on a smile. "It's nice to meet you, Sam. "

The brunette thought about holding out her hand to the boy, but decided against it. She could easily stop him if he went out of control, but she'd rather not have to deal with burns on her hands if she could avoid it.

"Not really, no," he admitted with a shrug.

Sam looked a little sheepish. "Yeah, uhm, sorry about that," he leant over Puck, extending his hand to her. "It's nice to meet you too," he said, with a smile. "I don't mind swapping with you, but I promise you, there'll be no more gas in there because of me."

Puck just shook his head and reached up, to try to flatten Sam's messy hair. When he failed, he just went back to munching on his toast.

Rachel looked at the hand and then raised an eyebrow at the boy. "You seem very nice, Sam, so forgive me for not shaking your hand, but considering the bunker and then finding out you lit your mattress on fire I hope you understand my hesitation," she fixed him with an apologetic half-smile. "Thank you for swapping training times with me though."

Sam blinked at Rachel a few times and dropped his hand. "Yeah, no that's cool," he frowned in confusion. "Not really quite sure what refusing to use my powers, or dropping a cigarette has to do with anything, but it's totally your call."

He didn't blame her for not wanting anything to do with him. _He_ wouldn't if he were her. She'd obviousy heard about what he'd done. That meant everybody knew.

He stood up. "Well, it was nice talking to you. I guess I'd better go," he said. "So I'll see you at four," he told Puck, moving to leave.

Puck gave Rachel the death glare, before moving to catch Sam's wrist. "Hey," he said, abnormally softly. "Sit. You haven't even eaten yet."

Rachel just shrugged, nonplussed by the glare. How was she supposed to know that the blonde boy was just a clumsy oaf? "My apologies for jumping to conclusions. Please stay and eat with your bedmate. I need to go grab my books before class begins and I would hate to be tardy," she nodded to both of the boys and stood.

Taking a final swig of her coffee, she tossed the paper cup in the appropriate bin and began to make her way out of the cafeteria. At least this misunderstanding hadn't ended violently. That was always a plus in her mind.

Sam stopped in his tracks and closed his eyes, trying to get his emotions back under control when he felt Puck's fingers close around his wrist. He kept his head turned away from them, so they couldn't see his face.

"I'm ok, just let me go," he mumbled.

"See you later, Berry," he called after Rachel, but he hadn't taken his eyes away from Sam.

"Sit," he repeated, in just as uncharacteristically gentle a voice, as the first time. "Please?" He risked tugging at Sam's arm, pulling him back down, to sit next to him on the bench. He was closer than before, but Puck didn't mind.

Sam didn't fight against Puck pulling him back down into his seat. He just let him, and continued to silently stare at anything but his roommate/mentor/friend/maybe more?/whatever. His gaze finally settled on his hand, which he'd rested in his lap.

"What's wrong?" Puck asked, frowning, as he let go of Sam's wrist. "This is because Rachel didn't want to shake your hand?"

"N-nothing's wrong," he lied unconvincingly, shaking his head. "But there isn't any time for breakfast. They're done serving. So I might as well go." He was still staring into his lap the whole time he was talking.

Puck cast a glance at the serving counter. Sam was right, they had ceased serving. It was 8:15, which meant there were only fifteen more minutes left of breakfast.

"Here," Puck said, sliding what was left on his plate - most of his eggs and a slice of toast - over to Sam. "Eat. And tell me what's bothering you." He picked up his coffee and began gulping at it. He wasn't awake enough to keep being nice to his confusingly depressed roommate, for long.

Sam frowed in confusion for a moment, when Puck's breakfast appeared in front of him. He shook his head. "No... No, dude. That's yours." He shook his head again.

"Wrong," Puck told him, leaving no more room for argument. "It _was_ mine. I'm done, and _you're_ hungry. Eat." He _hadn't_ finished, but he had eaten some of it, and something about Sam made him want to make sure he was ok.

"Now what's on your mind. I'm your mentor. That makes me like your priest or something. I need to know what's going on in that noggin of yours, or this..." He gestured with his hand, in the small space between them, but not quite sure what he was refering to, himself. "... Ain't gonna work. So confess."

Sam nodded, carefully picking up the toast. "Uh... thanks man," he said awkwardly. He gingerly started nibbling at the toast, as if Puck might turn around and slug him, if he enjoyed it too much.

Sam swallowed his bite of food, and sighed. Time to fess up about his past. Puck was going to hate him now. He wouldn't want anything to do with him, just like Rachel, and then he'd ask for Sam to be moved into another room. The thought made him even sadder. He liked rooming with Puck. He even sorta liked the guy himself, when he wasn't being a jerk, just for the hell of it. He was fun, and easy to hang out with, and clearly a lot kinder than he pretended to be. He'd proven that by being so willing to share things (except his booze. He'd made it abundantly clear, that was the only thing Sam couldn't have, more or less right after letting him into their room) and actually caring how he felt. It was gonna suck, losing the only person who'd even given him the time of day, around here. But he was used to being lonely, surrounded by people who just don't care, so he answered Puck's question.

"Nobody wants me around," he looked back down into his lap, not able to look at Puck. "Obviously somebody found out what I am, and now everybody knows." He said, not realizing how vague, what he was saying, was. "I-I thought things would be different here, but I guess having abilities and what I did, aren't really the same, are they?" He went silent, before realizing he'd yet to explain to Puck, how badly he'd screwed up. "I... My mom, there was a..." he began stumbling through his words.

Puck laid a hand on Sam's shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. "It's okay, dude. You don't have to say it, I already know... They gave me your file," he amended, in a half-truth. "I'm... I'm sorry about your mom. That's gotta be rough." He wasn't going to patronize the guy by telling him how it wasn't his fault, and that accidents happen. He was sure he'd already been told that several times. It's not like it would help.

"Nobody else knows, I swear. Rachel was just a bit nervous of your ability because the bunker stank of smoke, yesterday. It's why she thought you can't control it. After you left, I torched the gas I'd poured on the floor" he explained. "I didn't want that to happen by accident, if I didn't clean it up good."

Sam ate in silence for a while, as he processed what he'd just been told. He couldn't help but to think of his mom. He missed her terribly, and the guilt of knowing that the rest of his family missed her just as much, because of him, was almost too much to cope with. He felt like he was going to crumble into dust, and blow away. The scariest part of all of that, was that he found himself not really minding the idea much.

Then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Puck. The other boy was looking at him - completely unguarded - with eyes full of the kind of deep concern that Sam could tell, he didn't want people to know he was even capable of. If questioned about it, he'd probably just try to pass it off as pity, but he could see that - for what reason, he didn't know - Puck genuinely cared.

"Thanks," was all Sam could manage, without his voice crackling.

"You're welcome, Dude," he replied. He wasn't sure what he'd just been thanked _for_, but he didn't recall doing anything for Sam that he actually minded doing, so the statement was true enough.

He swigged down the rest of his coffee. "Don't ever feel weird about coming to me with this shit, okay?" He smacked him amiably on the arm and stood up. "It's my job, and stuff."

Sam nodded. "I'll bear that in mind," he affirmed, when the other boy stood up. "So I'll see you later?"

"Well, it'd be pretty hard to avoid each other," he joked, picking up his mug. "Training's at four then, and I might see you at lunch, anyway. Later," he smiled at him before turning and walking away.


	4. Chapter 4

Finn was walking down the hall toward his locker after English, trying to figure out what class he had next. His schedule hadn't actually changed since last year, but he'd had all summer to forget it, and the timetable he'd been given was really confusing. What time was 14:00 anyway? Clocks only had numbers going up to twelve, right? He could be wrong, it'd happened before, so he decided to ask someone.

He stopped the girl who was walking past him, with a gentle hand on her shoulder, hoping that she could help.

"Excuse me, hi. Um, do you know what time fourteen o' clock's supposed to be? That doesn't make sense, does it? Hey, I don't think I know you... are you new? I'm Finn, what's your name?" He rambled, looking confusedly down at the much shorter girl.

Rachel looked up...and then up some more at the giant boy who stopped her in the hallway. He had a confused, but gentle expression on his face and Rachel smiled at his cluelessness. "Hello, Finn. My name is Rachel and there is no fourteen o'clock. However, there is fourteen hundred hours which is actually using the twenty-four hour clock rather than the standard twelve with am and pm. Fourteen hundred hours actually means two o'clock pm. If you add two to twelve, maybe it will make it easier for you to understand," she explained, going over the points with him.

"As for being new...yes, I just started here this year. I'm still learning my way around, but thankfully time is universal," she grinned up at him.

Finn just stood there looking blankly down at Rachel as his brain worked overtime trying to get to grips with the long-winded explanation she'd given him. Finally something clicked, and he got it.

"2pm... Thanks Rachel," his expression morphed into a goofy grin. "Well, it's very nice to meet you." He stuck his hand out for her to shake. "I've been here a long time, so I know my way around. If you need like, directions or anything, I'll totally help you. You'd probably be able to see me if I was in the hallway, because I'm kinda tall." Finn explained unnecessarily. "My friend Puck calls me Gigantor." He started to blush when he realized how much he was rambling. "Sorry. I feel like I'm telling you my life story or something. You can tell me to shut up, if you want to. I'm used to it."

Rachel took his hand and shook it. "No problem, Finn. It's a pleasure to meet you as well. It's nice to meet someone who doesn't completely ignore me or say something rude," she puffed out her cheeks and released her breath. "I'll keep in mind to ask you if I require assistance." She nodded and looked him over.

"You are very tall, but then most people would classify me as short in stature even though I consider myself of average height," she huffed.

Finn got a half-frowning expression on his face, like he always did when he was trying to decide something that he wasn't quite sure about. "Well, you are kinda short," he finally said, before realizing his blunder. "I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that... Besides, I'm not really a very good judge of these things, being way up here," he said awkwardly.

He shook his head, trying to resist the urge to slap himself around or something. "Uhh... So what'd your next class? Do you need any help finding it?"

Rachel glowered at him for a moment before smirking. "Well. there are both pros and cons to both of our heights. I have training with Noah Puckerman next. I believe I know how to get to the bunker now that I've been there before, but thank you for your offer of assistance," she nodded at Finn in thanks.

Finn couldn't help but laugh. "Puck's your mentor? You poor thing. Does Dr. Shue pay you some kind of compensation for that? Or..."

Rachel laughed at Finn's joke. "Noah's all right. I think I'm teaching him more than he is me, however. Perhaps that's why the doc placed me with him," she shrugged. "He seems like a nice enough guy though. So far we've been friendly enough towards one another."

Fin raised an eyebrow. "You think he's a _nice enough guy_?" He asked seriously. He had yet to run into Puck this year, so who knew, maybe he _had_ mellowed out over the summer. He certainly couldn't be any _worse_.

He suddenly realized how that sounded. "No, no, he _is_ a nice guy. He's kinda awesome, actually. It's just that he tends to try to keep that as like, a secret or something... Just, watch out for him trying to get into your pants, ok?" If he really was back to his old self, he'd probably try at some point.

Rachel furrowed her brow for a moment, confused at Finn's response but shook it off and listened to what he had to say. "He does seem to try to act like he's the school's badass, but I can see beyond that. I don't think I'll need to worry about him trying that with me though," she chuckled, thinking about his interaction with Sam that morning. "Besides, he really wouldn't want to deal with someone like me."

Finn half smiled. "Wouldn't be so sure, about that. He might be trying to trick you into a fake sense of safety, or something." He had no idea how badly he'd just butchered the idiom. "Why do you say that? Did he tell you he was gay? He's totally told chicks that before, so they'd get changed in front of him. He likes boobs too, just as much as the next guy... Maybe more." He didn't ask her what she meant by _someone like her_ though. He wasn't smart, but even he had a feeling neither of them wanted him to know what she was talking about.

"You mean luring me into a false sense of security?" Rachel asked with a short laugh. "I highly doubt that's the case, Finn. Believe me. Noah knows not to push his luck with me." She sighed and shook her head when the tall boy went on about Puck. "No, Noah never said he was gay. I think he just knows I wouldn't be someone receptive to his _charms_."

Finn was confused again. Was _that_ the phrase? "Sure, yeah. That," he nodded, not actually knowing either way, but Rachel seemed smart, so she was probably right.

"Why? Do you play for the other team?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them. "Not that you'd have to be a lesbian to not be into Puck or anything. Sorry, I don't even know you, that was really rude," he chastised himself. Then something else hit him. "Hey, why do you keep calling Puck _Noah_? Do you call him that to his face?" He couldn't imagine Puck liked that very much. He'd been punched in the nose for doing that, back before he'd gotten used to his best friend's new nickname.

Rachel raised an eyebrow at Finn when he boldly asked about her sexuality. "I wouldn't consider myself a lesbian, no, but I haven't exactly had the opportunities to be in a real relationship. Besides, I was taught that love is love and gender doesn't really matter," she explained nonchalantly. "Your question was quite forward, but I see you didn't mean it in a rude manner. It's really all right. I've put my foot in my mouth plenty of times and you had the good sense to apologize."

She smiled at the awkward boy and ran a hand through her hair. "I call Noah by his name. He introduced himself as _Puck_ but I knew it wasn't his first name. He lets me," she grinned and shrugged, knowing it was because Puck had no other choice.

Finn was glad Rachel hadn't been mad at his tendency to open his mouth before thinking, and he smiled gratefully at her forgiveness. "Okay, cool. I think you're right about that. S'not like it affects what kind of person someone is, whether they like guys or girls." He nodded sagely.

"Really? He doesn't get mad or anything?" He was almost tempted to try it out for himself, but something told him that the rules still applied to him.

Rachel just shrugged. "He hasn't gotten mad at me, yet, but he could act slightly differently around me. Who knows? You'd know him better than I would. I only met him this week," she said, thinking about meeting the mentor.

"Yeah, maybe," he conceeded, leaning against a locker, as they waited for the warning bell. Apparently he had a free period, and athough Rachel had to get all the way to the bunker, she'd probably already learned to expect Puck to be late. So he figured it was okay to keep talking to her. Besides, he was pretty sure she'd have no problem telling him straight, when she really had to go.

"So, what is it that you can like, _do_?"

Rachel knew she'd have to leave soon considering her training with Puck, but she could spare a moment to tell Finn her gift. "I'm a telepath," she offered Finn and small smile and began walking the way she'd originally been headed. "It really was lovely to meet you, Finn. I do hope we see each other around here again." She shoved her hands in her pockets and began to head off.

He was about to tell her that the bell hadn't even gone yet, and she had ten minutes to make a five minute journey, but she was already making a move to leave, so he let her go. "Yeah, nice talking to you too," he called after her. "Tell Puck I said to drop by, later?" He added.


	5. Chapter 5

Quinn stood, bag slung over her shoulder, staring at the campus of McKinley. It looked smaller than when she'd last seen it. Certainly smaller than the day she'd arrived, a scared and half-broken fourteen year old girl in the care of a man she didn't know. And she'd been through so much since then. A tear threatened as she thought about it all, but she didn't let it fall. She was Quinn Fabray, she was the girl who'd recieived a nickname both mocking and accurate - Ice Queen. She did _not_ cry.

She wondered whether she'd see Puck. He'd be in classes already, of course - Doctor Schuester had been kind enough to let her take almost a full week extra to finish adjusting to everything that had happened before returning to school. How would he react? Would he be pissed about her disappearing on him? Probably. This was Puck, after all. But whatever excuse she gave him, she knew one thing for certain - she couldn't ever, _ever_ tell him the truth. Why she'd vanished, where she'd stayed, anything at all. It had damn near killed her, what she'd been through, and it would do much worse to him. Best that he never know, that he never even suspect.

This year, she had decided, was about her. There would be no more dating, no friends, no excuses. She would train hard, perfect her powers and do well in her classes. Nothing else mattered. She couldn't afford to care any more.

Puck was on his way through the court yard, to set up the bunker, for his next session. He was so preoccupied, he didn't even notice Quinn, until he was right on top of her. His jaw dropped when he realized, for sure, that it was her.

"Quinn?... Oh my -" He didn't finish the sentence. He instead, opted to abrupty step forward and throw his arms around her. He let go of her, when it registered that she wasn't hugging him back. "I'm sorry, it's just..." he trailed off, with a grin spread across his features. "Thank God you're okay. I... we... everyone was so worried," he finally managed to fumble through what was more-or-less a full sentence.

_Dammit_, was Quinn's only thought as she caught sight of him - and more importantly, he saw her. This was _so_ hard - harder than she'd imagined it could be, harder than it had been in her nightmares. It took all of her control not to throw up a wall of ice between them to establish a physical barrier, and even with that control she still felt her fist freeze solid before she could stop it.

She didn't return his hug, just let him embrace her until he was finished. When he stepped back, she took a ragged breath and hoped that her voice wouldn't be as shaky out loud as it was in her head. "Puck," she nodded. "Yeah - I'm sorry about that," her expression wasn't contrite, though, just stoic. "I really needed to get away for a while. But I'm fine." _Now,_ she added in her head.

Puck nodded, as though he understood, even though he didn't. "What happened? Where did you go?" He asked, before he could stop himself. Bombarding her with questions probably wasn't the best idea right now. "I mean, I tried looking for you, but I barely managed to get 30 miles, before Doc found me and jedi-mind-tricked me into coming back. Must have hurt his pride, having two runaways, inside a week."

Taking a step backward, trying to establish more distance between them, she shook her head. "Just - away. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I just...I couldn't. I just had to leave." She bit her lip, trying to decide how much more to say - she could tell Puck that Doctor Schue had known all about it, but she thought that might drive a wedge between them.

She finally decided on a version of the truth, hoping that it wouldn't make things worse. "I left him a note," she sighed, "the doc, I mean. Begged him not to let anyone come after me. So him dragging you back - that was my fault."

"Well," he said. "I had a feeling he knew. Guy knows everything. I'm surprised he let me get as far as he did, if I'm honest." He ran a hand through his hair. "So you're back? I mean for good? Because I... I missed you" he confessed, looking at the ground between her feet.

This was the moment, she knew - the time to make a choice. It would be so easy to fall back into the easy rapport that they'd established before she'd left - but she knew where that path had led, and even the thought of it made her heart ache painfully. And so she took the other option - to be as cold as her nickname.

"Yeah," she shrugged with a nonchalance she didn't really feel. "I'm back - I'll be sticking around. I've seen the world, and there's not much to it. Might as well stay here for now."

Puck frowned at Quinn's aloof, detatched attitude toward being back... and seeing him. He knew that she'd been happy here before she'd left, and she obviously had reasons for returning. There was also, of course, the fact that he'd missed her like he'd have missed _air_ if it had just picked up and left - far more than he'd ever admit to the girl herself - and she didn't even seem pleased to see him. Quite the opposite, actually. So the idea that maybe she _never_ cared about him, hurt like hell.

The usettling thought that she'd finally _actually_ become the cold, uncaring bitch that everyone else always seemed to think she was, crossed his mind briefly, before he pushed it away. He liked to think he knew her better than that. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't, but that's what he believed. The apathy he saw on her face and heard in her voice didn't ring true to him somehow. That thought was the only thing keeping him from running scared and fighting ice with ice, by telling her that he didn't care either way, anyway.

"Good," he finally said, trying to keep the pain that was masking itself as anger, out of his voice. "That's good."

Quinn watched the emotions play across his face, and it was like having her heart ripped out. She'd convinced herself over the last months that she never really cared for him, but watching his hurt and his confusion quickly dispelled her of that notion. A thousand apologies reached her lips, but every single one was snuffed out before she could verbalize it.

It _had_ to be this way, she knew that. It didn't stop it from hurting, though. From wanting to bury herself in his arms and tell him _everything_, every desperate thought and stray feeling that had pulled her apart while she was gone, every wound she'd collected in her psyche, and the pain that she had worked so hard to bury. But it couldn't happen that way. He couldn't find out. And so she swallowed all of it anew, and it burned all the way down to her soul.

"Yeah," she agreed in a too-calm voice. "So - did I miss anything good?"

Quinn pushing so hard to ignore the elephant in the room was making it worse. She knew he wanted to know why she left McKinley - why she'd left _him_ - and in turn, she knew that he was aware of that too. So, all of this pretending made him sick to his stomach, but he went along with the trivial topic of conversation.

"Not really," he pasted a smirk onto his face, to fit in with the illusion of normal they were trying to create. "About six months ago, I convinced Hudson that he could fly, and he jumped off the stable roof..." he offered up. He'd gone through several rough patches, many of them making him behave in all sorts of nasty ways. Especially with his friends. "I'd had a bad week" he shrugged, like he wasn't even sorry. He was. He _really_ was. Finn had broken his right femur and several ribs, and Puck could still remember how much pain his best friend had been in, before he'd healed him. The worst part was, he remembered _not_ being sorry at the time, and that made him feel even sicker. He'd _wanted_ someone else to be in pain, and that was just so very wrong.

Quinn frowned - internally, keeping her expression carefully neutral. That didn't sound like Puck - not the Puck that she knew. But she knew her disappearance had hurt him, badly, and she supposed that maybe he'd been lashing out at other people to compensate. It made her feel even worse, and she made a mental note to apologize to Finn when she saw him.

But she couldn't say any of that - even if she did want to break the exterior she was showing, she didn't even know how to begin a conversation like that - and so she smiled instead. "Only Hudson. How'd you convince him he could fly? Have somebody levitate him? You'd think a guy who spends so much time around other people with abilites would know you don't just grow new ones."

This was _bullshit_. He wanted to call her on it, to tell her to stop acting like she didn't give a crap _why_ he'd done that. She wasn't fooling him for a New York minute, and he was beginning to find this whole thing very taxing.

He didn't call her out, like he wanted to, though. As much as she was pissing him off, he wouldn't try to force her to tell him aything. It wouldn't do any good, for one thing; Quinn Fabray was as stubborn, as she was beautiful. He could be just as stubborn too, if he wanted, but he wasn't moreso, and they'd just get into an argument, concluding in a stalemate. That was no good to anyone. Quinn and Puck at odds with one another was a scary thing, and the whole school would suffer for it.

"Got one of last year's seniors - I don't think you know him - to plant a false memory in Hudson's head... I didn't think the ginormous idiot would actually jump off a damn roof though," he replied, trying to keep his tone sounding vaguely bored.

"Well, it _was_ Hudson, so you really can't expect too much. You're lucky he didn't throw himself off something taller. The Doc must have been pretty pissed about that one when he found out."

She hated this - the charade, the pretense, all of it. She hated being so cold, so utterly disinterested. She made a spur of the moment decision to throw him a bone - a fake one, but a bone nonetheless. She bowed her head and sighed. "Los Angeles," she whispered. "I was in Los Angeles." She'd been nowhere near the state of California, of course, but maybe it would make him feel like they were making progress toward a real coversation.

"Oh yeah," he said. "Understatement of the century. He tried to _ground_ me, if you can believe it." Puck rolled his eyes.

"LA?" He was surprised. He'd been looking for her in totally the wrong direction, in that case. "What's in LA?" He frowned in confusion. He had no idea why she'd have gone there.

"Why do I have a feeling that would be pointless, with you?" she nearly smiled, but dialled it back at the last minute. She couldn't let that happen.

"Honestly?" she shrugged. "Nothing. No one I knew, nothing I knew, just...nothing. I just wanted to be somewhere I could blend in for a while." That much was actually true, but not for the reason she was telling him. "I just kinda bummed around - saw the walk of fame, the Hollywood sign, stuff like that. It wasn't as fun as I thought it'd be. Never did see a single famous person."

"_Completely_ pointless. Especially in this prison-in-a-halloween-costume-dressed-as-a-school... What else did I do, but go to class, train, and sleep?"

"Somewhere you'd blend in?" He asked, genuinely confused. "You mean, like here?"

"Yeah, I can't see what grounding you would ever do. Maybe if he took away your xbox, but that'd be about the worst he could do to you."

She frowned - why was he trying to poke holes in her story? Did he honestly want this to be even more difficult? "Everyone _knows_ me here," she explained. "Everybody knows the Ice Queen, the bitch, I just..." she sighed. "I just wanted to be Quinn. Someplace that nobody knew who I was, you know? Where I didn't have that rep hanging over me."

"Well, he did," Puck shrugged. "It isn't the only one in the whole school."

He nodded. He could definitely understand that. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I'm finding it a total nightmare, trying to mentor people who think I'm about to punch them. Luckily, two out of the seven people I train are new, and one's Lopez. So only four quake with unnecessary fear," he rolled his eyes.

Quinn snorted. "Why am I not surprised - hopefully you didn't hurt anyone when you took theirs."

She sighed softly, glad that he was moving away from her badly-constructed lie. "Well, you definitely don't have to worry about Santana. She'll be too busy trying to hit on you. You do know she's totally in lust with you, right?"

"_You_ think I'm psycho now?" He laughed humorlessly. "There's no hope then. I just used Hudson's... The big lug wasn't even pissed at me for almost killing him."

"Really?" He frowned in confusion. "Nah, she's just friendly like that... Right?" He'd trained Santana, when she'd asked him to, the previous year, and hadn't noticed her "trying to hit on him." Was he that clueless?

"Not psycho," she shook her head. "But I know how..._enthusiastic_ you are about your xbox. And Finn had probably forgot it was you anyway. Not that bright."

Quinn chuckled quietly, the first time she'd let her emotionless facade fall. "No, she's friendly, but she's not like _that_ with anybody else. I'll even tell you a secret. After you started training her, she drew your name in little hearts in one of her notebooks. I wasn't supposed to see it, but she left it open on her desk."

Puck nodded and then smirked. "He's a good guy, but not the sharpest knife in the kitchen drawer...I've never heard the word _entusiastic_ said like it had four letters in it, before," he laughed.

"She drew what?" he asked, even though he didn't really need her to repeat what she'd said. "Wow. I don't know whether to be flattered, or creeped out," he laughed.

"Santana _is_ kinda cute," he thought. "Wait, am _I_ being creepy now? How old is she?" He shook himself out of his potentially inappropriate thoughts.

"Speaking of training," he said, "did Doc send you your schedule, or is who you're stuck with a surprise?"

Quinn shook her head. "You're about the only person I know who I'd say it that way about."

"Well, if she didn't just annoy the hell out of me, I'm sure it'd be cute. Just keep an eye on her when you're training - if she's got a schoolgirl crush on you, she might get a bit aggressive."

She shook her head a second time. "No, I have no idea what my schedule looks like yet. I'm supposed to go and see him once I get settled in. Either way, you or St. James, I can take either one of you." Only a slight twitch at the corner of her mouth gave away that she was joking.

"Don't you worry your pretty little head about me, Fabray," he smirked. "I can handle Santana... And you for that matter. You're not on my list - I'm pretty sure I'd have noticed that - but I guess you only just got here, so..." he shrugged.

"Oh, I wasn't worried - I just didn't want it to be a surprise when she got all moony over you," she raised an eyebrow. "Think you can? Well, maybe the Doc'll put me in with you. Then we'll find out."

She tugged the strap of her bag higher up on her shoulder. "Anyway," she nodded, "I better go get my stuff dropped off. And I'm sure you're busy. But I'll see you soon." Her expression softened, and she gave him the first honest smile she'd managed in a long time. "It's good to see you again."

"Maybe he will" Puck shrugged. "We'll find out" he parroted, with a smirk.

"Yeah," he said. "I'm running late to a training session, and this guy'll run off, given half an excuse... It's really good to see you too," he returned the smile. "I'll see you later, or whatever."

"Absolutely," she promised. She managed to wait until she'd walked into the living quarters and out of his sight before she dropped her bag and took a deep, shuddering breath. It was going to be a hard year, she could tell already. Even a short conversation with him was enough to bring up all kinds of memories, and if she was training with him on top of everything else - well, it was going to be hard.

But if she'd learned anything good from her father and the way he'd treated her, it was that she could survive anything. She'd survive this too.


	6. Chapter 6

Santana nearly bounced into class, glad to have the first week under her belt. Quinn was back and grumpy as usual, but there was something different about her now that made Santana a little uncomfortable. She'd have to try and get under the other girl's skin at some point, see if she could find out what was wrong, but for the moment she was more concerned with getting caught up with everyone else, and spending some time with Puck.

She slid into her seat, bobbing her head to the song playing in her headphones, and smiled at the girl in the seat beside her. She was a small brunette, but she looked like there was a lot of power in her all the same, and she wondered how she hadn't met the girl before. "_Hola_," she grinned, "I'm Santana. You're new, right?" the song in her ear caught her attention, and she drummed her fingers on the desktop. "Tonight I feel like an astronaut," she pulled one headphone out. "Sorry. Good song. So, what do you do? What's your power?"

Rachel was sitting at her desk looking over the textbook and trying to catch up to the current lesson when another girl sat beside her bobbing her head. "Yeah, I'm Rachel. It's nice to meet you..." she was a little wary considering everyone else who had greeted her had ulterior motives. She wasn't sure if she needed to keep her guard up around this new girl.

"I do a lot of things...my power, is complicated. What about you?" she asked quietly, looking over the other girl. It was hard for her to open up considering she'd been so easily attacked by most of the student body. Rachel wasn't sure what to expect from the girl beside her.

"Nice to meet you too, Rachel," Santana grinned. The other girl seemed a bit hesitant, but she wrote that off as part of being the new kid. Santana remembered what that was like, after all.

"Me?" she laughed. "Nothing fancy. Watch," she looked up at the front of the room, where the instructor was TK'ing a piece of chalk across the board to write notes. She squeezed two fingers together - a way to focus that Puck had shown her - and it fell to the ground. The teacher glared at her, but it was worth it. "I shut other people's powers off."

Arching an eyebrow, Rachel turned back to the girl beside her. "Well, that is a pretty interesting power. You're lucky. I'd say you'll be pretty safe from anyone trying to harm you with their gift," she nodded and turned back to her notes, copying down what was being written on the board. She was still catching up in the lessons. After all, being out of school most of her life hadn't provided her the most structured way of learning.

"It'd be more useful if I could control it better," she admitted. "Mostly I end up shutting down everyone around me, which is a bit annoying - for them, I mean. I usually don't notice."

Santana looked back and forth between Rachel and the board. "You know, you don't have to write it all," she whispered. "One of the kids up front has a perfect memory. If you want, I can get him to give you a copy of the notes later, so you can just listen to the teacher instead of writing everything."

"Oh!" she went on more loudly, oblivious to the glare of the teacher and a few from her fellow students. "You should come by my room later. My mom sends me amazing food, and there's way too much of it to eat myself. You can have anything you want." She knew she was probably being annoying and overly agressive with her offer of friendship - she'd been criticized for that before, after all - but she couldn't help it. She knew what it was like being new to the school, and she just wanted to help.

"You'll learn," Rachel stated simply with a shrug. She continued to write even after Santana had whispered her. "While that is a kind offer, I like to complete my own set of notes and do my own work. I don't expect someone else to do the work for me. I like accomplishing my own goals." The brunette continued glancing between her notebook and the board, taking down the information. Santana was awfully perky, but at least she was being kind and seemed friendly enough. It was a nice change from the other people she'd had the _pleasure_ of meeting in the hallways.

When Santana invited her over, Rachel looked up from her notes. "I suppose I could stop by. I am a vegan, however. I'm not sure if your mother's cooking would fall under my dietary habits. It's nice that you get food from home sent to you here though," she said, turning back to her notebook. Her own thoughts strayed to the fathers she had left so long ago. A wave of sadness passed over her as she wondered how they were and what they could be doing, but she shook it off knowing that the decisions she'd made were for the best.

"I hope so," Santana nodded. "That's why I came here, after all." She nodded agreement with Rachel's thoughts about doing her own work. "That's cool," she smiled, "I just like to get the written stuff from him so I can listen."

"I'm sure I have something you could eat," she assured the brunette. "I feed everybody here at some point."

She noticed the lesson had started in earnest and blushed. "Sorry," she whispered.

Rachel shook her head and shrugged. "Don't worry about it. I guess we'd better pay attention though," she offered a smile before turning her attention back to the front and listening to the lesson the instructor was teaching.

Santana nodded, slipping one of her iPod's ear buds back in. She didn't mind history, but she could easily absorb the teacher's words and listen to music at the same time. She watched Rachel from the corner of her eye, noting how serious she was. She'd have to work on that.


	7. Chapter 7

Puck was lounging on the couch in the otherwise empty common room. Class was in session and he was waiting for Santana to show up for training. He'd let himself slip into invisibility, as often tended to happen when he wasn't focusing. It wasn't like he couldn't control it, but a lot of the time, he just didn't need to. So he just didn't bother.

Santana double-checked her makeup in her compact mirror as she approached the common room - which she admitted to herself was ridiculous, since she was going to train, but still. It was Puck, and she wanted to look decent.

She was distracted by her thoughts, and it allowed her power to act in a wide area around her - which meant that when she entered the common room, she knocked out Puck's invisibility without realizing. "Hey!" she smiled at him. "I'm here!"

"Hey Lopez," he greeted her with a smile. "Did you mean to knock out my powers?" he asked pointlessly. He knew she hadn't.

"Uh," she briefly considered lying, but figured he'd probably see right through it. "Not...really?" she bit her lip. "Sorry. I wasn't paying attention." She clamped down on her power, fairly certain she'd reigned it in. Of course, Puck was _really_ distracting, but she was pretty sure.

Puck shook his head and chuckled. "It's ok," he said, pulling his leg off the other side of the couch so she could sit. "It's not like you can harm me with your ability" he pointed out. "What's got you so distracted?" he asked.

Santana took a seat on the couch, trying not to notice how close she was to him, and blushed a little. "Just anxious to get started again. I didn't get enough practice over the summer, so I'm sure it's going to take a while to get good at this again."

She wasn't even sure whether she meant training or dealing with her crush on Puck, so she tried to find something else to talk about instead. "I was kinda hoping her stuff would be in our room when I got back, you know? That she'd have come back without saying anything." She looked at him and winced - she knew (or at least had heard the rumors) of what had gone on between Puck and Quinn, and he must be hurting far more than she was about the other girl's absence. "Sorry," she shook her head. "Forget I said anything."

"Nah," he dismissed the idea that she'd have lost much control over her ability. "S'like riding a bike," he said, giving her shoulder a little squeeze. "Promise." He turned to face her fully, sitting indian style on the couch.

"Who?" he asked, pretending that he'd forgotten who she could be talking about. "Oh, Fabray? I wouldn't hold your breath, or anything. She's not coming back." He shrugged, feigning nonchalance, and shook his head with a frown. "No need to be sorry... Come on, let's do this."

He cleared his mind, and allowed himself to fade out. "Ok. Go."

She tried not to blush even more when he touched her, and wished she could be invisible like him for a second. But she took a deep breath and turned to face him as well.

He knew who she was talking about - and it was bothering him more than he'd let on to her, but she wasn't about to push the issue with him. Instead she did as he asked. Trying to remember everything he'd taught her in her first year, she reached out with her mind.

There it was - a glowing light was the best way she could envision it. She raised her hand and pictured her thumb and forefinger closing around the light, snuffing it out. She brought them close together, shutting her eyes with the effort. The light flickered, but didn't go out. Puck faded in and out of visibility, and she frowned, letting go again.

"Why is this so much harder when I'm trying to do it?" she ran a hand through her dark hair. "When I'm not even trying, I can shut off everyone around me. But when I'm really focused, it takes so much more work!"

"_Because_ you're focusing," he replied, his voice seemingly coming from nowhere. "It's a lot harder when you're trying _control_ it enough to train it on a specific person... Here, try it this way. Gimme your hand." Without waiting for her to do that, he reached out and took it in his own. She started to fade out too, a little slower than he had. "See if that helps." Neither of them were quite sure how her power worked and he figured that it was worth a shot, to do something to try to connect her to his power.

Santana wasn't sure whether the fireworks in her head were because he'd taken her hand or because she'd plugged directly into his power, but either way she gasped. "Oh my _god_," she whispered. The glowing light she'd been trying to put out was like an inferno now, and she actually _giggled_ at how it felt.

"I can do anything like this," she said wonderingly. "Watch." She made his arm visible, then his leg. Then she faded those out and faded his head into view but nothing else. It was dizzying, and she finally pulled her hand away from his so she could breathe again.

"Wow," she was flushed and breathing hard. "That was _awesome_. I could see every bit of power around you, and play with as much of it as I wanted. That's incredible, I didn't know - I had no idea it could be like that!"

He watched her fade back in and then let go of his invisibility, fading back in, himself. "Eventually, you'll be able to do that, standing on the other side of a football field. I swear." He grinned, before his face fell. "There was a teacher here, before you arrived. She could do that, no problem. You'd probably already be about halfway there, if she was training you," he said. It was his way of apologizing, for not being a very experienced mentor.

"Hey," she took his hand again, ignoring how good it felt. "You're a good teacher, Puck - that's the coolest thing I've ever felt, and I never would have figured it out on my own. We'll work together, right? And we'll get me there eventually."

She noticed she was rubbing his knuckle with the pad of her thumb and pulled her hand back. "Who was the teacher?" she asked, trying to make casual conversation. "Where did she go?"

"You're just saying that, so I don't just send you back off to St James. There _are_ other AC mentors in the school, you know," he joked. "Yeah, ok" he smiled at her. "Together."

Puck frowned when she pulled her hand away, completely oblivious to the over-friendliness of her gesture. "Miss Holiday," he replied. "She wasn't here for long. Said she liked to keep moving, or something. I miss her. She was fun... and super hot." He smirked.

"I'm thinking of trying to get Schue to change his mind, about having a dance, this week," he said, conversationally. "I'm not holding out much hope, after the whole thing where a bunch of us guys got wasted and started doing a strip show on the stage," he laughed. "I'm so glad at least the younger students had been sent to bed by then. _So_ humiliating." He shook his head. "Would you wanna go?"

"Well, Jesse is a bit...abrasive," she admitted, "but I'm not just saying it. You're good at this - and the only way either of us is going to get better is if we work together at it," she smiled.

"Well, I'll have to look her up in the yearbook so I can decide that for myself," Santana laughed. "I get that," she nodded, "the not wanting to stay in one place thing. It's not for everybody."

Her heart stopped briefly in her chest - and then her brain kicked in admonishingly. _He's not asking you out, estúpido. He's asking if you'd want to go to a dance._ "Sure," she agreed enthusiastically. "A dance sounds like lots of fun - even without the strip show," she added, only partly joking.

"Well," he said. "That's not strictly true... I tossed out my class schedule today, and took on six other charges this morning," he explained. "I have a pyrokinetic who doesn't like fire, a telepath who doesn't like to show the hell up, a molecular immobilizer who thinks I'm trying to kill him... I can't wait to start training the others." He rolled his eyes.

Puck scratched the back of his neck. "Trust me. _I_ get that too. I'm _stuck_ here. But I've been here too long, and as much as I want to, I don't think I'd know how to function, if I left. Ya know? I don't have a single memory that isn't of this place. I'm the epitome of sheltered"

"I said it was _humiliating_, not that I won't do it again," he laughed at his own joke.

"Six?" she blinked. "Wow - okay, I'll rephrase, the only way _I'm_ going to get better is to work with you. You'll have lots of practice without me," she laughed. "I'm not even going to ask about the pyro, because that's just confusing. You'd think if you can create the stuff you wouldn't be afraid of it."

"I think you'd surprise yourself," she assured him. "You might be sheltered, but that doesn't mean you're not smart. You could figure stuff out, and if not you could always, like, turn invisible and rob a bank or something." She grinned.

"Well, save me a front row seat if that's going to happen again," she said before she could stop herself.

_Oh my god. Oh my GOD, you actually said that out loud! Estúpido!_ She blushed to the roots of her hair and looked away.

"Yeah," he said. "I'm going to have to do some digging to find out what his deal is... I think I might have to steal some files, this evening" he said, trying to make it sound like he was joking.

"I don't know if I'd even want to go anywhere" he admitted. "This place is home, even if it does get a little stifling... At least I've gotten out of classes, this year."

He figured she was joking, just as he was. "Front and center," he promised, winking at her, before standing up with a stretch. "You wanna keep practicing your ability, or go get some exercise?"

"Sounds very Mission Impossible-esque. Except Tom Cruise couldn't turn himself invisible," she laughed softly.

"I get that - I mean, not, you know, the same way, but I know what you mean about home. I still miss Cali sometimes. At least there were more Spanish speakers around, you know? Sometimes when I call Mom I feel so rusty at it."

She sighed with relief when she realized that he thought it was a joke, but still couldn't keep from blushing when he winked at her. "Uh - I could go for a run, if you feel like," she admitted. "It's fun practicing, but getting out for some real exercise would be nice."

"Not really," he laughed. "It mostly consists of walking into Doc's office, finding and taking the files I need. Sorry that isn't as interesting."

"Usted puede hablar conmigo en español, si lo desea. Yo no sabía que se estaban volviendo tan _oxidado,_" Puck said, a smirk pulling at his features. "Don't you _dare_ anyone, but Doc made me try to learn a whole bunch of languages, since I was small. Spanish is one of the few that took."

"Your wish is my command," he joked as he removed his jacket, and tossed it on the couch, starting to stretch.

"Well, that sounds a bit less exciting," she chuckled. "I guess you could dress all in black or something, at least."

_"You're full of surprises,"_ she replied in Spanish with a wide grin. _"But don't worry, your secret's safe with me. I'll take you up on that offer, though, it'll be good practice."_

She tried not to stare at him as he stretched, stripping off her own light jacket and beginning some warm-ups of her own. "So," she made light conversation, "how's the doc, anyway? I haven't seen him since I got here."

He didn't point out how redundant his wardrobe choice was, considering the fact that he could disappear from sight, as easily as he could blink. "Totally," he smiled.

"Más sorpresas que usted puede manejar, estoy seguro." Puck winked at her again, having no idea that he was inadvertently encouraging her crush on him, with what he saw as harmless, playfulness. "Eso está bien para mí, magdalena," he shrugged as he stretched down and to the right, to touch the side of his sneaker. As he did, his shirt rode up a little, exposing the tan skin of his hip and stomach, along with it a line of fine, dark hair that disappeared into his pants."No me importa en absoluto."

"He's good," he replied, repeating the stretch, but to the left. "_Busy_ like he is at the start of every year, but good."

Santana shivered a little, looking away to hide how much she was blushing. She was trying not to come across like some fawning little girl with a crush, but he kept making it worse. Calling her cupcake, the flash of skin - she turned slightly away under the guise of stretching, so she wasn't tempted to look and see whether his shirt repeated that trick again.

_"I'll bet,"_ she gave what she hoped was a convincingly nonchalant laugh. _"Just don't be surprised if you start getting rambling phone calls in Spanish when I'm bored, then."_

"Do we have a lot of new people this year? Or is it just the regular kind of busy?"

_"Call me any time you want,"_ he said, completing his last stretch. _"You're not the only one that gets bored, around here."_

"Pretty much just the usual," he shrugged. "There's a few new faces, but not many. Although in a school this size, I guess that makes a difference. I think we're at full capacity now... Even Finn and me have roommates now." He chuckled, knowing that she'd get how strange that idea was to him.

_"You may regret offering,"_ she laughed. _"But I'll definitely be calling."_

"Really?" she raised an eyebrow. "That's gotta kind of suck for you. I know how you like your space. Are they nice, at least? Your roommate?" She finished stretching and bounced on the balls of her feet.

"_I don't __**do**__ regret, babe,_" he also laughed.

"Turns out, I don't mind anywhere near as much as I always thought I would, if it ever happed. Then again, I've spent a total of two hours with the guy, so far. Sharing my space might get real old, real fast, you know?" Puck replied. "Yeah, Sam seems pretty cool. I mean not _cool_, cool - he's a huge dork - but nice, I guess. I'm pretty sure I like him." He wasn't quite sure what he meant by the lat part, himself. But he had a feeling he was giving something away to Santana, so he looked away, trying not to blush, or do anything else equally girly.

He clapped his hands together. "Ready?"

_"I should know better by now, shouldn't I?"_ she grinned at him.

"I'm glad it hasn't been too bad," she nodded, "but I hope you don't get too tired of him. I'm sure the Doc could move him if you really needed him to, right?" She wasn't sure how to read his last statement - was he saying...she gave her head a little shake. That couldn't be what he meant.

"Ready," she agreed, still bouncing to keep her legs loose.

Puck almost laughed at Santana's expression. Ok, he was probably busted. "What's that face for?" He rolled his eyes. "You must be the only person in this school who didn't know that I'm..." he went quiet for a moment trying to think of a way to phrase it, without saying _bisexual_. He hated that word. "... all for equal opportunities. Why halve your demographic, right?"

He shook his head and led the way out of the room.

She most certainly _hadn't_ known that. "Oh," she replied dumbly, then gave herself a mental slap. She didn't want to sound like that was an issue for her, she just hadn't known. "Sorry," she said more brightly as she followed him out of the room. "You just caught me by surprise - no, I didn't know that. How long have you known?"

He dismissed her apology with a wave of his hand. He didn't need it. "Oh, quite a while. Since I was about 12, I think. It's never really been a big deal to me." He explained, as they walked. "Upside of being so sheltered. Nobody messes with me. Ever."

"It's cool that you figured it out so early. And that you had the doc as your dad - I mean, he runs a school for Specials, he's got to be pretty cool about every part of your life, right?" She walked alongside him, silent for a minute as she thought. "I'm really glad nobody's messed with you," she admitted more quietly. "I don't like even thinking about that."

"Yeah, I'm really lucky," he acknowledged. He glanced at Santana, out of the corner of his eye, when she went quiet.

"They wouldn't fucking dare," he laughed, hooking his arm around her neck and ruffling her hair. "I'd kick their asses." He removed his hand from her head and loosened his grip on her, but didn't take his arm from around her shoulders.

"Aah, not the hair!" she cried, laughing. It was pulled back into a tight ponytail for the run anyway, so it wasn't like she really minded, she was only kidding.

Her blush was as bright as her complexion would allow as he rested his arm around her shoulders. "I-I'll bet you would," she stammered a little, covering it with a grin, "and you'd do it while you were invisible, too, so it'd work really well."

"Pfsh! Puh-lease," he said, with an indignant frown, completely insulted. "A? I wouldn't need to. And B? I don't have much integrity, but I have more than _that_." He didn't move his arm, though.

She bit her lip. "Sorry - I didn't mean it like that. I just meant you could do that if you, you know, if you wanted to. I didn't mean you would, or that you had to..." she trailed off. "Sorry," she tried again.

She hadn't said _could_ she'd said _would_. There'd be no convincing him that she thought otherwise about him, now. Nevertheless, he pushed it aside, determined not to care what she thought of him. Caring lead to getting hurt. He knew that.

"Whatever. I'm king of the school. It's kind of a moot point."

Santana sighed. She'd clearly upset him, and that was like a punch in the stomach. But she decided to play along with his nonchalance, since the only other alternative was to just leave now that she'd hurt his feelings.

"You definitely are," she agreed, bouncing a bit higher on her toes as they reached the track. She shrugged out of his grip, feeling down but carrying on all the same. "Ready?"

"Ohnononono... Not the track. What are you, a girl?" He joked flatly, trying to get back to behaving like himself. Puck didn't _get_ upset.

He kept walking. "We're starting at the canoe shed. Twice around the lake, to the stables and then we'll race to the back of the bunker. Sound good?"

She still felt kind of like crying, because she'd never meant to hurt his feelings. But she played along, looking jokingly down her tank top. "Well, I think I am. If not, I'm a very odd-looking boy."

She blinked - that was a good length, more than she'd expected. But she wasn't going to turn down the challenge. "Sounds like a plan," she agreed.

"No arguments there," he smirked.

"What?" Puck said when he saw the surprise on her face. "Too far? Ok, one lap around the lake then, not two. That ok?"

"No, no," she shook her head. "Just because you figured out I'm a girl doesn't mean you're going to take it easy on me. Let's go, Puckerman - I'm going to kick your ass."

_Challenge accepted._ And just like that, they were back on an even kilter, for the time being. "Bring it on, little girl. Race you to the canoe shed then." He said, before setting off at a jog. Trying to get her to sprint there and tire herself out, wasn't cheating, _okay_?

She smirked - she knew she hadn't made things right for what she'd said before, but at least they could still banter the way they had been. She took off in the direction of the canoe shed, racing ahead of him. If she'd been thinking more clearly she would have wondered why he was going so slowly, but all she saw was the challenge.

"When I beat you, you owe me a really big birthday present, you know that, right?" she tossed over her shoulder.

"Haha, don't think so, Lopez," he yelled after her. His body automatically tried to speed up, without his brain's permission, in response to the challenge. It was like he was hardwired to do that. Hid did manage to pull on the reins hard enough to slow back down, after a few seconds though.

Santana took a quick look over her shoulder and saw him speeding up, increasing her own pace in response. She began to see the flaw in her plan as her lungs started to burn a little, but she hoped if she powered through it she'd beat him to the shed. But there would be no more yelling back at him, she couldn't afford to waste her breath. She just focused on the shed, and ran.

Puck smirked when he saw her speed up even further, and kept jogging slowly along, now content to let her win the battle. _He'd_ be the one to win the war.

Santana was sweating and her lungs were on fire, but she slapped the side of the shed triumphantly. "Ha!" she cried between deep breaths. "I win - birthday present, Puckerman, get planning! You haven't got long!"

The smirk was still firmly on Puck's face when he finally reached the shed, barely even breathing any harder than normal. "Very good," he congratulated her in a sardonic tone. "Ready to run another 4k?"

She groaned, realizing he'd played her. "Fine," she glared, straightening up and taking a few deep breaths. "You still owe me a birthday present, though." She started to jog, much more slowly this time, waiting for him to fall in beside her.

Puck laughed and shook his head, catching up to her and matching her pace. "No doubt" he chuckled. "When's your birthday? Maybe I'll throw you a party in the basement."

"September fifteenth," she jogged beside him. "But I was only kidding. You don't have to buy me anything. Party'd be fun, though."

"Fifteenth? Really? Shit... That doesn't leave much time to get insane amounts of alcohol... I'll find a way," he assured her. "S'gonna get messy." And the smirk was back.

"Really," Santana confirmed. She gave him a sidelong look, glad to see him smirking again. "You think you can get all that booze in without the doc finding out? If you can manage that, I'm looking forward to it."

"Santana, Santana, Santana," he shook his head. "The man's a telepath. He finds out _everything_, but he lets me do what I want, anyway. As long as I don't corrupt the general population of McKinley with my delinquency, he doesn't really care too much... Not really a parenting method that many people would recommend, obviously... Look at how I turned out," he laughed.

She laughed, despite her continued shortness of breath from her first sprint. "I think you turned out pretty awesome," she assured him. "And as long as he won't end up taking away your video games or something afterward then I'm down with it. Actually," she corrected herself, "I'm _really_ looking forward to it. Birthday parties are the best kind of parties. Back home, we always had these massive parties, even when I was really young. Seemed like they went on for days."

"Nah, he only does that when I almost kill someone. I don't think it'll get _that_ messy," he chuckled. "So who do you wanna invite?" Puck asked.

"I hope not," she laughed. She thought about his question for a moment and smiled. "Well, anyone that wants to come, really - we can throw it up on the bulletin board or something!" she added excitedly. "The more the merrier, right?"

"You nuts?" He asked with a laugh. "How's Doc supposed to ignore that? And there's only so much space in my room and alcohol I can afford, especially if I'mma get you something nice," he reasoned, giving her a smile. "But I figure maybe eight, ten people would be ok to sneak in. So there's us, can't really kick Sam out, so that's three. The rest are totally up to you, of course. It's _your_ party, after all."

"I guess you've got a point," Santana laughed. "And you're throwing me a party, you don't have to get me anything."

"I'll have to think about it," she mused. "I haven't met most of the new kids yet, after all. Finn - we need to invite Finn. I'll get back to you on the rest." Something struck her. "Wait - if the doc gave you a roommate, and we're full, then who's my roommate? That doesn't make any sense."

"I _always_ have a point. And you won the race, fair and square, Lopez. What else do I have to spend my money on?"

He shrugged. "Well maybe we're just at capacity for guys. Doc's hardly gonna have the rooming situation go co-ed."

"Well, if you insist," she laughed, "then bling is always nice."

"Hmm - yeah, I guess. I'd kinda prefer if we didn't go co-ed, personally. Don't need to be changing in front of guys."

"I'll see what I can do." Puck nodded.

"Yeah, that'd kinda suck. For _you_ anyway. Not so much the guy, in question. Do you even have private bathrooms up there?"

"Cool," she smiled, brushing back a strand of hair that escaped her ponytail.

"No, I guess it'd be okay for _him_," she laughed, "And yeah, we've got our own bathrooms. Don't you guys?"

"Oh, yeah. _We_ do. We're two floors from a public one," he laughed, getting a little out of breath now.

"That'd be a long trip in the middle of the night," Santana laughed, a little out of breath herself. "I think most of the girls' rooms have their own. Not a bad idea, either - I think there'd be fights if we were all sharing the public ones."

"I need to find a way to make that happen." Puck said seriously. "Catfights" he elaborated, simply.

"Such a boy," Santana's pace was slowing as she started to tire, but she wasn't about to stop. "I can't figure that one out. You know when we actually fight, it's not like on tv, right? Our clothes don't come off, there's no mud involved? Just lots of hair pulling and scratching, the occasional slap and punch. We don't usually make out after, either. Sorry to burst your fantasies."

She looked over at him and laughed.

Puck went quiet for a moment, as he thought about it. "Still hot," he finally concluded.

She laughed - loudly, echoing across the quiet campus. "You're insane," she laughed. "I think having guy parts shorts out the logic center in your brains."

Puck laughed and undid the last two buttons on the over shirt he'd forgotten to remove. He took it off and tied it around his waist as her ran, before turning to Santana slightly, to show her his t-shirt. "I'm well aware," he laughed some more.

"Very appropriate," she laughed, reaching over to hit him jokingly on the arm. "It feels good to be out doing this again. I let myself get lazy at home. Ate too much of Mom's cooking. At least at school I can share all of it with other people."

"Mmmmm, your mom's cooking." He said, as if he were Homer Simpson, referring to donuts.

"Don't worry," Santana assured him with a chuckle, "she sent your favorites with me again."

"Score!" Puck announced, picking up the pace. He got a _lot_ of exercise anyway, but if he was going to be eating the kinds of food that Santana had brought with her, working a little harder, had to be a good thing.

"I figured that'd cheer you up," Santana laughed, increasing her own pace to match his. "Mama's always "is that nice Puck boy getting enough to eat?" I clearly haven't told her enough about you."

"Obviously not," he laughed, shaking his head. "How about we keep it that way? I'm sure there are worse things, than your mom wrongly thinking that I'm nice, and underfed." Puck smirked. He just hoped Santana hadn't actually noticed how much weight he'd lost last year. And he _really_ hoped she hadn't brought it up to her mother, who had never even met him.

Not that it really mattered now, anyway. He was feeling much better now. Physically, emotionally, and mentally much stronger than he'd been at the end of last year. Not that he'd ever tell anyone who he had to thank for that.

"Oh, trust me," she laughed again, "if I told her about the _real_ Puck, she'd be down here chasing you with a rolling pin or something. I'll keep telling her you're a nice boy, she'll keep sending you food and not pull me out of school. Everybody wins!"

She was beginning to seriously tire now - the first sprint had taken a lot out of her, and she could feel sweat soaking through her tank top. While the thought of being so close to naked in front of him made her nervous and filled her stomach with butterflies, she didn't want to keep running in the drenched top, so she pulled it over her head. That left her in just a sports bra and her shorts, and she held the tank top in her right hand as she ran.

Puck laughed. "Sounds good to me..."

Puck really did try not to watch her removing her top, out of the corner of his eye, but he couldn't really help it. He was only a human, for crying out loud. Yeah, her mother really _would_ chase him with a makeshift weapon of some sort, if she only knew.

"Tired yet?" He smirked.

She almost denied it, but what would be the point of that? She'd stripped off her top, and she could feel herself slowing down. "Little bit," she admitted, sighing. "I knew I was out of shape."

He shook his head. "Nah, it _is_ a long haul," he conceeded. "S'just that some of us had nothing better to do all summer than run this circuit twice a day, and kick St James' ass at air hockey. I'm used to this. That was literally all I did." Well, _almost_.

"Come on," he said, veering off to the right, toward the stables. They'd only done one lap of the lake, after all, but he didn't want her to collapse from exhaustion.

Santana wanted to protest, but her aching muscles warned her against it. She nodded, instead, and followed him toward the stables. She was just looking forward to sitting down, at this point.

"So, how _was_ your summer? Aside from lazy..." he joked as they continued on the last leg of the run.

"Really good, actually," she chuckled at his joke. "I love going home. I mean, I love it here, and it's so awesome learning how to control this thing I do, but - I miss my family, you know? When I go home and visit we stay up talking until we fall asleep at the kitchen table, and all my aunts and uncles and cousins and everything all come out so we can have a giant party. We watched a truckload of movies and ate an amazing amount of food - it was all pretty awesome."

She looked sidelong at him. "How was yours?"

That sounded completely alien to him, having a home, and a family. He'd had those things once, but he couldn't really remember them at all. The only thing he knew about his parents was in a single paragraph, written in loopy handwriting - he assumed it was his mother's - and tucked into the pocket, of his three-year-old self. The note _claimed_ that he was very much loved, and that giving him up was almost the last thing they'd wanted. That they were simply afraid for their special little boy and needed him to be somewhere safe. The note didn't explain why he was unsafe where he'd been, so he didn't really know what that meant. Dr Shuester had tried tracking them down, using the name that the note had stated, belonged to the child, but he'd had no luck.

Puck shook himself out of his thoughts, just in time to catch Santana's question. "Uh... Can you keep a secret?"

"Not usually," she laughed. "But in your case I'll make an exception."

Puck side-eyed her. "Well _that_ fills me with confidence." He rolled his eyes. "I mostly hung out with Jesse. He's really not that bad, even if I just spent my day convincing people that he's the devil, or something. He helped me through some shit... Just remember... I know where you sleep, and have ways of getting in that don't involve opening the door." He threatened lamely. He should have picked something she'd worry that he might actually go through with. Killing her in her sleep? Not one of those things.

Santana raised an eyebrow. Well, _that_ hadn't been what she was expecting. "That's cool," she nodded. "I'm glad he's...less scary with you than he is with us. And if he could help you," she could imagine with what, but she wasn't about to say it out loud, "then I'm glad he was here. And my lips are sealed, despite the fact that I'd knock out the powers of anyone you sent in after me," she laughed.

Puck laughed. "I'm pretty sure he's not really any _less scary_ with me. But I don't exactly scare too easy." A conversation with Jesse was never exactly all _kittens and rainbows_ or anything, but he was a good enough person to actually want to help Puck, without being too close to his situation, to actually do it. And his power helped their little therapy sessions get under way. It was like an emotional-bullshit detector. It was ridiculously hard, and sort of pointless to put up a front, around him. "But he's an ok guy. I figured that if he insisted on trying to get all up in my business, he has the resources to do it, so I should just let him. Turns out, he's pretty smart. Gives really good advice, at any rate."

"Santana, Santana, Santana... Who said anything about sending someone else in to do my dirty work for me? I do my own murderin', thank you very much," he smirked.

"I'm glad he could help," Santana said quietly. "I'm sure it was nice to have someone like him around."

She smirked right back. "Well, last time I checked, Puck, invisibility and healing don't let you in my room without opening the door. Isn't that what you said?"

"I wouldn't go _that_ far," he chuckled, as the stables came into view at the crest of the hill they were slowly climbing.

"No, they don't," he conceded. "That's where having a bro who can make solid objects, ya know, _not_ solid comes in real handy. He wouldn't need to enter the room."

Santana sighed with relief as the stables appeared in the distance - she really did need to sit down soon. "Well, I'm glad he gives good advice, then, how's that?" she laughed.

"Ah, yes - I think you've got me on a technicality there. I concede," she put her arms up in surrender.

"Yeah, that'll do," he laughed as they neared the stables.

"S'how I roll, babe," he smirked.

Santana reached the stables and nearly fell over as she sat down. She stretched as best she could, trying to keep herself from cramping up, and looked enviously at Puck. He barely looked winded.

"I hate you," she muttered, smiling to take the sting out of the words.

"I'm sure you do," he smirked. "I thought we were gonna race to the bunker? Tricking you into exhaustion was pointless after all? How on Earth am I going to repair my damaged pride?" he joked.

"I'll concede the win," Santana said, waving a hand at him. "Congratulations, your pride is restored." She laid on her back, looking up at the morning sky. "We need to do this more often. I need to get back in shape."

He shook his head. "Nope. Tomorrow we're racing for real. Then you'll owe _me_ a huge birthday present," he informed her.

"Given how bad you handed me my ass today, I have no doubt I will," she laughed.

"We'll work on your powers for longer than we did today, though," he told her.

Sounds like a deal to me." She turned enough to look up at him. "Soon, I'll be shutting you down while you're trying to peep in the girl's washroom or something. There'll be embarrassment all around." She winked to show she was teasing.

"Why you gotta go ruining all my fun?" Puck deadpanned. "No fair."

"I _knew_ it," she smirked. "It _was_ you that wrote "I know what you did last summer" on that one mirror last year, wasn't it? Some of the girls just about had heart attacks."

He looked at her like she was nuts. "Uhhh... no. I've never _actually_ been in there, Lopez. I was kidding. Good news? Nobody's actually turned up dead, so I'm pretty sure it's not a serial killer," he laughed.

"Really?" she raised an eyebrow. "Damn - I owe somebody some credit, then. The number of girls who were in the shower that day, I can't believe someone snuck in without getting seen. Whoever it was, I owe them some credit."

She stretched her arms over her head, sighing. "So, am I your last appointment of the day? Got the rest of the evening to veg out?"

"I'm pretty sure that chick with the crazy red hair and a constant scowl can fade out... not sure though. Wouldn't like to accuse," he smirked.

"Yeah, I think I'm meant to be kicking my new roomie's ass at some nerd game he brought with him, or something," he shrugged.

"Can she?" Santana thought back to whether she'd ever seen the girl use her power. "Good to know. I should get her a medal or something, that was pretty epic."

Santana laughed. "You sound thrilled about it. I think it's sweet, indulging the new roommate."

"I'm _pretty_ sure, yeah," he confirmed.

"Hey, I resent that. I've never done anything _sweet_ in my whole life, thank you very much," he defended, as if she'd just suggested that he'd done something truly terrible. "It's a video game," he shrugged again. "How bad could it be? Besides, I'll do pretty much anything for a quiet life, and if he's happy, I'm happy."

"Cool," Santana nodded. "I really do owe her a drink or something."

She put up her hands. "Okay, I take it back! No sweetness from Puck, none whatsoever! Hopefully his game's decent, at least," she smirked a little, "and he doesn't kick your ass too bad at it."

He laughed at that. "The only way that'll happen, is after I start to feel sorry for him and _let_ him win a game or two" he said seriously. He was that cocky about it.

"Well, see, now you're just begging me to put twenty bucks on him kicking your ass first time out," she raised an eyebrow in challenge.

"That's fine with me..." he stuck his hand out for her to shake.

She took his hand and shook it firmly. "I want a screenshot or something for proof, though. Or to hear it from your roomie. I won't put my twenty on unsubstantiated claims." She laughed.

"I'll call and put him on the phone. Don't be surprised if you can't understand him through the blubbering though," he smirked.

"Tough talk," she snickered. "Let's see you back it up."

"You will," he assured her, his smirk getting bigger.

"I'll be waiting," she grinned, standing up and stretching. She considered throwing her tank top back on, but it was still drenched, so she threw it over her shoulder. "But in the meantime, I'm going back to my room. Shower, possibly die, we'll see how the evening goes."

"Sounds like one hell of a plan to me... Minus the dying. Don't do that part," he laughed.

"I'll do my best," she promised with a wink. "Have a good night, Puck, and I'll be waiting for that confirmation of your crushing defeat!" she grinned.

"You too, Lopez" he said with a smile. "I'll talk to you later. Prepare for disappointment."


	8. Chapter 8

Quinn took her time walking to class - why rush? No one would sit in her seat, she was pretty sure, even after having been gone for so long. She had a reputation. She formed an icicle with one hand and spun it around in her fingers as she walked - until she crashed heavily into a girl she'd never seen before, dropping the icicle and hearing it shatter impressively on the floor. "What the hell?" she asked loudly. "Do you mind watching where you're going?"

Rachel was busy looking at her schedule, still trying to figure out where all of her classes were and at what times. Most of the students were smart enough to leave her alone at this point, the few who weren't had been easily manipulated into doing embarrassing things. Unfortunately, her powers didn't allow her to pay attention to two things at once and she felt herself collide with another person.

"Sorry. I'm still trying to figure out where everything is around here and I wasn't paying attention," she looked up into the face of her victim, catching hazel eyes for a moment. "You wouldn't happen to know where English is, would you? I'd greatly appreciate the help." The brunette smiled, trying to be friendly with the girl. She was a new face. Rachel would consider her very strikingly beautiful, if had the time to pay attention to those things.

She'd _greatly appreciate the help_? Seriously? Quinn scoffed - who talked like that? She gave the girl a once-over. She was pretty, even if her fashion sense left a great deal to be desired - the combat boots alone were a crime.

Quinn gave her a too-bright smile that anyone who knew her would have recognized as completely fake. "Absolutely!" she nodded enthusiastically. "I know exactly where it is." Then she stepped around the girl and began to walk away. Maybe the brunette was trying to make friends, but Quinn wasn't in the market.

Turning after the girl, Rachel continued alongside the blonde down the hall. "Are you going to show me? That is very kind. Everyone else here has been most...difficult. It's nice to see that someone here is kind enough to help," she said, following along. Bumping into the taller girl had been an accident and at first, she'd been worried it would be another conflict she'd have to physically solve. Thankfully, the blonde seemed to be different and was willing to help a new student.

"I'm Rachel Berry. It is a pleasure to meet you," she turned her gaze to her companion and offered a grin.

What _planet_ was this girl from? Quinn shook her head dubiously, giving her another quick look to check whether she'd suffered some obvious cranial trauma - maybe she needed to go and see Puck? - but seeing no signs of it. "Quinn Fabray," she introduced herself all the same, wanting to make sure the girl knew who she was, so she could stay out of her way in the future.

"Oh," she put on a daffy smile, "did you want me to show you? I'm so sorry, I just thought you were asking if I knew where it was! Like a test or something!" She stopped and took Rachel's schedule. "You're in 2-15 for English," she noted, "you're in the right spot in the hall, but you need to be upstairs. Just go that way," she pointed over Rachel's shoulder, using her other hand to create a thin coating of ice on the floor behind her feet, "and up the stairs at the end of the hall." She waited for the girl to turn around, smirking inside as she waited for the inevitable.

A quick nod was Rachel's acknowledgement of Quinn's introduction. Obviously, the girl beside her wasn't big on talking. No one at the school seemed to be very forthcoming. She figured she should just be happy to be getting any help at all. The brunette almost groaned at the blonde's response. Of course, it would just be too good to be true if one thing had gone right for her, wouldn't it?

Rachel narrowed her eyes at Quinn's answer. "Thanks for the help," she sighed, figuring she could ask a teacher on the way since she no longer trusted Quinn. Rachel had really thought that maybe this place would be different than the normal schools she had been in as a child. Nothing was different. How was she supposed to place her trust in Dr. Schuester when it was like she was stepping back into her past all over again? She could see her father, broken and bleeding. She saw the boys, chests ripped open. A mass of blood and carnage.

Shaking her head of the visions, the brunette turned to leave. As her foot touched the icy surface, she felt her world unbalance. Only her quick reflexes and years of training allowed her to tuck and roll out of the fall gracefully. Rachel turned back to Quinn, eyes cold and jaw locked. "You really shouldn't have done that..." she said, locking her gaze with the blonde and entering the girl's mind. 'How about I delve inside and rip you apart?' she grated against the inside of the blonde's mind before flinging her against nearby lockers.

Releasing her opponent without causing too much damage, Rachel turned to head towards the stairs fixing anyone in her way with an icy glare.

Quinn had never experienced anything like what the little brunette did to her. It was like someone had pulled her skull open and stuck a live wire inside, and she was almost grateful for the purely physical pain when she crashed into the lockers - it told her she could still feel, that her mind and body were still connected. She took a deep breath, trying to recover her senses, and lashed out with every ounce of power she could to create a solid wall of ice that blocked Rachel's path and took up the width of the hallway.

"Jesus _Christ!_" she shouted, wincing as she all but felt her father's hand on her for taking his name in vain. "What the hell?" she stalked toward Rachel with murder in her eyes. "I was just teasing you a little, new girl - whatever the hell you just did to my head, there was no call for it." She took a breath, still feeling a little bit dizzy.

_And people ask why I'm such a bitch,_ she thought. When people did things like that, how could she be anything but? Sooner or later, just like her parents, everyone resorted to violence. Better to just not be involved with anyone. But in Rachel's case, it was too late to not get involved - so she went with her other option instead. "You're new here," she growled, "and so I'm going to let you walk away. But you threaten me again? I'd think about what it feels like for your heart to stop. Because I'll freeze it in your chest."

Quinn turned away, letting the frozen wall collapse in a splash of water. There were tears in her eyes that she didn't really understand, and she wasn't about to show weakness now.

Stepping back as a wall of ice rose in front of her, Rachel kept up a mask of indifference. She didn't even turn to acknowledge Quinn. "You should learn not to pick on other people for no reason just because you believe you might be stronger or better than them. In this world, it could easily get you killed," she said, her voice projecting against the ice. She'd already learned that lesson the hard way, as her scars would attest.

"You assume that I fear you, Quinn Fabray. I've seen and done things that would haunt you for the rest of your life. Whatever you _think_ you know, is nothing compared to what's really outside these walls," she gave a cursory glance backwards and stepped through the puddle as the ice melted in front of her, heading upstairs to find an instructor to help her to class.

"You have _no_ idea what I know," Quinn muttered, but the girl had already vanished up the stairs. Rachel's disruption of her mind seemed to be bringing all sort of negative memories to the surface, and all she could seem to think of was being locked in her tiny closet, being beaten, having the only good thing she'd ever made taken away from her. She shook her head, trying to dispel the memory. "_No_ idea," she muttered again, gathering her things and glaring at any of the other students who dared to look her way.

She changed her mind halfway to class and decided to return to her room instead. She knew Doctor Schuester would be angry with her for missing class already, but she didn't know if she could stop from crying much longer and she wasn't about to do that in front of other people.


	9. Chapter 9

Rachel headed down the hallway towards the room number Santana had given her in class the week before. She was a little wary of meeting the girl outside of class. Santana had seemed overly perky. She just hoped that the other girl wasn't too tactile. Rachel didn't do well with touchy feely. It reminded her too much of her fathers. She let her thoughts wander for a moment. Were her dads okay? Had people stopped bothering them? Did they miss her? She sighed and shook her head, not ready to go down that road at this particular moment.

Taking a deep breath, Rachel lifted her hand to knock at the door. She'd finally found herself in front of the door to the Lopez room. Letting gravity do the work, the brunette knocked on the door and waited for a response from the other side.

Quinn was first up, because Santana was still busily bopping along to her music and reading, and she didn't want to bother her roommate if she didn't need to. It might lead to conversation, and the Latina had a tendency to pry.

She opened the door and blinked, surprised. "Uh - hi. It's Rachel, right? Were you looking for San, or did you just have the wrong room?"

Rachel was caught off guard at Quinn's appearance at the door. "Oh, hello. Yes...I'm here to see Santana. She invited me. I had no idea you were her roommate..." she kept her guard up just in case this was another trick. She wasn't sure what to think considering the last meeting that had taken place between her and the taller girl in front of her.

"Come in," Quinn gestured, stepping back. "Lopez!" she shouted, waving an arm. "You've got company!" she rolled her eyes and gestured, creating an icicle that she used to poke Santana's cheek before she let it melt. She turned back to Rachel.

"I wanted to...apologize," the word came through gritted teeth. "I was kind of a bitch to you the other day - I mean, I'm kind of a bitch to everyone, just ask around, but...it wasn't much of a welcome, and this is supposed to be a safe place for specials. So I'm sorry."

Rachel hesitated for a moment before nodding and stepping inside the room. "Thank you," she said, staying relatively out of the way. She looked around the room, noticing it was a bit different than her single room. She'd specifically told Dr. Schuester that it would be better for her to live alone than to be given a roommate.

At Quinn's apology, Rachel looked surprised. "Well, I don't tend to hold grudges so you are forgiven. I apologize for...using my ability on you. I've never been to a place like this and most of the times I've been..." she trailed off, not wishing to give more of herself away than necessary. Thinking about her fathers has made her guard come down slightly. "Nevertheless, I'm sorry as well. I will not do that again. I hope we can be civil to each other during the school year."

"I'm sure we can," Quinn promised. "And I'd appreciate that - I had a migraine for the rest of the day, and it was like the memory of every bad thing that ever happened to me forced its way to the front of my brain. Kinda sucked," she smiled. She noticed Santana approaching and gave Rachel a hesitant nod. "Anyway - I'll be over there," she pointed at her bed, "but if you guys want some privacy or whatever, just let me know."

"Hey!" Santana bounced up. "Sorry, I didn't hear you knock. I have bad news - I'm not sure I have anything vegan in my care package. I'll make sure she sends something you can eat next time, I promise!"

She gestured at her bed. "Come sit! How's classes and stuff going so far?"

Rachel simply nodded at Quinn and watched the girl head back to her bed. She turned to Santana as the excitable girl bounded over to her. "It's quite all right. I figured that you probably wouldn't. Most people don't cook for a vegan lifestyle. Please, don't trouble your mother for me. I'm doing fine with the few options in the cafe," she explained with a small smile. "It was kind enough of you to offer."

The brunette moved into the room, but leaned against the wall. It was in her nature to never get too comfortable in one place. She never knew when an attack would come. Even in her own room she was always alert. "Things are going well. I should be caught up to the current material in my classes by the end of the week. How about you?" she asked politely.

"No, she'll totally do something up for you. I told you, I feed everybody around her," Santana laughed. She watched Rachel lean against the bedroom wall, still looking tense.

"I'm doing okay, I think! Classes are okay, and Puck's a pretty awesome trainer. Are you training with him, or did you get Jesse?"

Rachel smiled and nodded. "Well, then please extend my personal thanks to her. Your mother sounds like a very kind and wonderful woman," she said while running a hand through her hair. "I'm with Noah. Although, I really don't understand why I need the training. I'm hoping that I can talk to Dr. Schuester once the semester has finished and get out of it." She sighed at the thought of training every single day. There wasn't much that Puck could teach her that she didn't already know. The only person who could possibly help her at this point would be another stronger telepath, which would be rare.

She remembered her fathers telling her how powerful her gift was and that she had been a very rare case. The brunette frowned. She didn't want to go down that train of thought again. "I have yet to meet Jesse," she said simply to the other girl.

"I will, I promise," Santana agreed. "You should totally stay in training, though - even if he doesn't know your power, he can help. He helps me, and there's nobody like me around. And even if he can't do that, at least it's good exercise. And that can't hurt, right?" she smiled. "Jesse's...different. I mean, he's good at what he does," she couldn't find it in her to say anything bad about the young man, "but he's...hard. Kind of unforgiving."

Rachel sighed and looked over at Santana, crossing her arms. "You're still learning your power though, Santana. You and I are...quite a bit different. I have no doubt Noah is a great mentor. He seems like a very nice guy and I don't have a problem with him. I just don't need a mentor and I'm sure his time spent with me could be better allocated elsewhere," she shrugged, explaining herself in a bored tone.

"I suppose it's a good thing I had Noah instead of Jesse then. I have a feeling we wouldn't have seen eye-to-eye and I don't take well to unfriendly people," she said, smirking across the room at Quinn for a moment before turning back to Santana.

Quinn raised an eyebrow, but didn't rise to the bait. She didn't want to fight.

Santana nodded agreement. "Well, sure - but practice is good, right? I mean, even if you know how to use your power outside of school, learning to use it someplace controlled, it's got to be good. Plus it means spending time with Puck, which is pretty awesome." She grinned.

"Yeah, you probably would have got in fights with him. It does happen sometimes," she admitted, still trying not to be too critical of the trainer. "But hey, that might have been good practice too!"

Rachel just shrugged. "I suppose practice is good. I don't _like_ using my power though, Santana. I _hate_ it..." she address the other girl. 'And myself a lot of the time,' she thought with a sigh. "As for spending time with Noah, he seems sweet. He's not my type though. Feel free to have him." She rolled her eyes slightly and chuckled.

"I don't like fighting with people. Especially when the fights are unnecessary. There is already enough hatred in the world, why would I wish to propagate any more of it?" she questioned sadly. Santana was so naive and innocent about these things. Rachel could tell. She didn't want to dampen the girl's spirit.

"Oh," Santana frowned. She was used to her power, which she barely noticed most of the time. Even Quinn, who'd seemed withdrawn and barely ever happy for as long as she'd known her, seemed okay with her power. She didn't know there were people who were unhappy with using them. She blushed at Rachel's last sentence. "I - uhm, I didn't mean that, I just..." she cleared her throat and tried to stop blushing.

"I didn't mean - you know, real fighting, not the kind that hurts people, but sometimes people got mad at being pushed so hard. Sorry - I didn't mean anyone really fights around here. We're all kind of a family, we don't really fight."

Rachel just gave her friend a sad smile. "It's quite all right, Santana. You didn't offend me. I was just explaining my own views," she said, offering the girl a nod to let her know everything was all right. "I know what you meant. I just don't really like it. It doesn't mean I don't push back when I get pushed around, but I don't like to do it." She looked over at Quinn and shook her head with a sigh.

Quinn raised both eyebrows this time. "You know, for someone who doesn't hold a grudge, you sure seem to look at me a lot when you mention getting in fights."

She caught a glare from Santana (or the closest thing the overly-bouncy girl could manage, at least) and sighed. "Sorry. Forget I said anything. I'm not even here."

"That's not what I..." Rachel just shook her head and pushed off of the wall. "My apologies. I believe I have overstayed my welcome here. Please extend my thanks to your mother, Santana, for thinking of me when she doesn't even know me. It is very kind of her." She walked over to the door and opened it.

"Thank you for allowing me inside your living quarters. I shall leave you to continue your studies in peace," she nodded to both girls in thanks and stepped back into the hallway. It seemed that her encounters with Quinn would not get any easier. Perhaps it was her fault, she should have explained herself more clearly. It didn't matter anymore.

Stuffing her hands in her pockets, she began her trek back to her own room.

"Rachel, wait!" Santana followed her outside, her socks skidding on the slippery floor. "Wait!" she caught up to her in a few steps. "I'm sorry. Sometimes people don't really...get Quinn. She wasn't really serious. She does that eyebrow thing when she's making a joke. She's not very good at joking."

"You don't have to come back right now if you don't want, but you're always welcome, okay? Quinn's like that with everybody, but she won't throw you out or anything. I'd really like to hang out with you - listen to music, or play cards or something. Just know you can, okay? Or I can come to your room?"

Rachel turned at the sound of Santana's voice. "You don't need to apologize, Santana. Quinn is right, I suppose. Today hasn't been the best of days and perhaps I may not have been making myself very clear," she sighed, thinking back to her fathers before wiping them from her mind again. "Thank you for the offer. I will keep it in mind." She offered Santana a broken smile and turned back to head to her room.

"Thank you again for inviting me. That was kind of you," she called out over her shoulder.

"Anytime!" Santana called after her. "I'll have some food to share with you soon!" She wanted to chase after the smaller girl, but something told her that might be what Doctor Schuester had once referred to as her overaggressive tendencies, and so she clamped down on it and turned back toward her room.

"Quinn," she whispered under her breath. Her roommate had never been particularly friendly, but she seemed even more distant than usual this year. She didn't respond well to being pushed, though, so she couldn't even ask why.


	10. Chapter 10

Finn walked into the common room, to chill out on his free period. He was just deciding on how to entertain himself, when he spotted a familiar blonde on the other side of the room. She wasn't looking at him, instead she had her nose buried in a boring looking book, and she was curled up in an armchair. He hesitated for a moment, before heading over her, and sat in the chair on the opposite side of the fireplace.

"Long time, no see."

Quinn looked up from her book - she'd honestly been planning to apologize to him when they ran into each other, but the tone of his voice got her back up. She raised a sculptured eyebrow. "You're looking well, Finn. For a guy who threw himself off a roof, anyway."

Finn wondered how she knew about that. Nobody knew about that... Except...

He didn't bother returning the backhanded nicety. "You've seen Puck then." It wasn't a question. "He yell? I hope he yelled," He said the last the last part under his breath.

Putting her book down - she clearly wasn't going to get to read any more of it right now - she gave him her best warning look. "Yes. I saw him. No, he didn't. We had a nice civilized conversation." She pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to ward off a headache.

"If you have something to say, Finn, which you obviously do, could you do me a favor and just say it? I'm already a week behind on my work, and I'm really enjoying this book."

"Just... Where do you get off waltzing in and out of this place without saying a word about it? Do you know how worried everyone was? What it did to Puck? I mean you must. You know what he did to me... That was _you_. You hurt him so bad, that he totally lost control." Finn tried his best, not to raise his voice. "Have you ever seen Puck cry? I hadn't... It feels like the world's ending." It had terrified Finn to the point that he'd felt the need to stay in the basement with his best friend, every night for weeks, making sure that he didn't hurt himself, or something.

"Why? Why did you do it?" He asked, not really sure whether he even cared. "What was so important, so _urgent_, that you had to bail with absolutely no warning?"

Oh, he was not actually going to go there with her. She got slowly to her feet, fire in her eyes. "I _know_ that was me, you ass. I know he wouldn't have done that to you if it wasn't for me. I was even going to apologize to you, if you hadn't copped such an attitude with me!" She poked him in the chest. "And _yes_, I've seen him cry. I know what that feels like. It's not like I enjoyed doing that to him."

She was furious, and as it often did her fury was making her cold and incisive with her words. "Where do I get off? Who the hell do you think you _are_? You have _no_ clue - not a single, solitary clue. Which, hey, is true of you anyway, but especially in this case. I had my reasons. I notice you didn't even ask, hey Quinn, are you doing okay? What happened to you? No, instead you come down here and throw it in my face. I get that you like Puck, I get that he's your friend - but I always thought maybe we were kind of friends too. Obviously I was wrong. Obviously he comes first." She turned and picked up her book, putting out the fire crackling in the fireplace with a spray of ice from her free hand.

"If you ever want to have a grown-up conversation instead of hurling insults and accusations, Finn, then you know where to find me."

Finn dropped his head to his hands, trying to clear his mind. She always was good at tying his brain up in confusing ribbons of frustration, so he had no idea what it was that he was even trying to say. He stood up so abruptly that it surprised even him, and phased the density in his hand, right up. He made a fist and smashed it into the stone of the fireplace, sending a chunk of it flying into the lump of ice, that used to be a fire, with a loud _thud_.

He stood there for a moment, breathing hard as he glared daggers at the wall. Finally, he calmed down enough, to speak. "Quinn, wait... Please." He requested, still not venturing a glace in her direction.

Quinn flinched at the noise as he punched the fireplace, taken by surprise since she'd already turned away. She was just beginning to walk away when he spoke, and she stopped in her tracks. She couldn't have explained why, even to herself, except that maybe if she waited then it would make up for not apologizing.

"Was there something else?" she asked softly, not turning around just yet.

"I'm _sorry_, ok?" He slumped back into the chair and scrubbed his hand over his face. "Of course I care how you're doing... It's just that I already _know_ how _he_ handled you leaving. I guess... Oh, I don't know. Like you said, I'm dumb. I can't figure it out." He frowned at the floor.

Quinn turned back with a sigh, taking her seat again as well. "Sorry. That was harsh of me. You're not dumb, Finn. I know I left you in a tough spot. And I should thank you - for taking care of him. But I couldn't tell anybody I was leaving. Only Doctor Schue knew."

Finn shook his head, dismissively, still staring at the floor. "No, I _am,_" he insisted. "You're probably not supposed to _want_ to say that to your friend, but that doesn't mean it's not true. I deserved it, anyway."

He turned his confused expression on the girl herself. "I wish I could say I understand, but I really, really don't." He gave her an apologetic half smile.

"You're not," she shook her head. "And you didn't deserve it, I was just lashing out. It's just hard - being back, you know? That doesn't give me the right to be a bitch to you."

"I know," she nodded sadly. "I know you don't. And I wish I could make you understand, but I just...I'm not ready yet. I can't...it's too much. It hurts too much. I'm sorry I left - and that you had to take care of Puck for me. I'm sorry you got hurt because of me," she finally managed the apology she'd meant to give him before.

"I'm a total _moron_." His smile got wider. "You get called something enough times, you learn to just accept it. It doesn't hurt me or anything." Finn shrugged.

"You don't need to apologize to me for that," he shook his head again. "I was mad for Puck, not me. It wasn't a big deal, just a few broken bones and stuff. Nothing life threatening."

"Finn," she frowned. "Just because someone calls you something doesn't make it true. If it did, I'd be the biggest bitch on planet earth. And I'm probably close, but not quite."

"I do, though - you got lucky. If you'd landed wrong you'd be dead now, and even Puck couldn't fix that. It's sweet that you're mad for him, but you can be mad for you too. That's allowed."

She had a point. Everyone said that Quinn was a bitch, but he knew that she wasn't. She just wasn't very good at being vulnerable. "I guess so," he conceded.

He nodded. "Okay then." Finn said uncertainly, as he tried to process that concept. He found it difficult, because that meant he was supposed to be mad at Puck too. That was so hard, when he really understood why he had done it. He didn't have that luxury with Quinn, but he decided there was no point in being mad at either of them, when he knew they were truly sorry. "I forgive you."

"You're smarter than you think, Finn. Smarter than most people think." He really was - he just seemed to process differently than most people she knew.

The three simple words caught her by surprise, and she had to blink back a tear before she could reply. "Thanks, Finn. That's nice to hear." She grabbed a lighter from the mantle and re-lit the fireplace. "So, how are you doing? How was your first week?"

"That doesn't really say much," he joked, wishing that she'd just drop the subject. He knew he was stupid, and he knew that she thought he was too. Everybody did, and he was used to it. But it was uncomfortable, sitting there, listening to her claiming that he wasn't.

Finn shrugged. "It's no biggie. No use being angry, when all it's gonna do is make you feel bad. I don't want that. You didn't mean for anything bad to happen to anyone. I know that now." He reached across the small space between the chairs and gave Quinn's hand a gentle squeeze. "I only wanted to make sure you realized how badly you hurt Puck, by not saying goodbye."

It'd made the boy's abandonment issues so much worse, that it was a miracle he bothered interacting with anyone, anymore. He just refused to trust people. Finn really was going to have to track down his best friend soon. It seemed that they were avoiding one another. Finn, because he was afraid that not all of Puck would be there, anymore, after leaving him alone all summer - You'll have to forgive him for not taking the word of some tiny girl he'd talked to, for all of five minutes, as gospel. And Puck was avoiding Finn, because... Oh, who knew why Puck did anything these days?

"And obviously you do. So that's that. As for how he behaved, and what happened to me? There was no way you could have seen that coming. Not part of your ability, is it?" He asked as though it was a serious question, before smirking. "No, thought not. So don't be sorry. It's ok."

He let go of her hand, giving it a little pat, before settling back into his chair, as comfortably as his large frame would allow. "How am _I_?" He thought about that for a moment. "I'm pretty good. It's nice to be back, although I miss my mom more, right after I leave home, which is weird, ya know? You'd think it'd get more difficult the longer I'm away, but it doesn't. It's like I get used to it, I guess... So, there's that, and I forgot how confusing school can be, and I hadn't seen anyone, up 'til now. So I guess it's been kinda lonely," he rambled, without realizing it, as usual. "Although, I have a new roommate, so I think I owe Puck $20... Unless he has a roommate too." He told her, not remembering whether she even knew about the bet that they made three years previous. "But Kurt - that's my roommate - doesn't really like the things I like... I think it's because he's gay... not that I have a problem with it, but he's all into clothes, and musicals and his moisturizing routine, or whatever... also guys. So yeah, not really much to talk about with him."

Finn _finally_ realized how much he'd been talking, and he blushed so hard that the tips of his ears turned red. "Sorry." He gave her a sheepish grin. "So, how're you doin'? You said it was hard getting back into the swing of things, but are you okay?"

She wanted to press, because he really wasn't, but she sensed she wasn't getting anywhere. So she just gave him a polite laugh and moved on.

She squeezed his hand back. "Thank you, Finn - you're really sweet. You know that, right? And yes, I get that now. And I promise, one day I'm going to explain it to him. To make it easier for both of you. I wish I could say I don't feel at least a little bad about what happened to you, because I still do, but I suppose you're right, I'm not telepathic."

His ramble was fairly epic, and it took some processing, but she tried to respond in order to all of it. "I know - well, I sort of know what you mean about missing home. And I think it's always worse at the beginning. When you've been home, and had a chance to see her, and then you've just left again. It's not easy. But it'll definitely get better." She wasn't sure what he meant about the twenty dollars, so she left that one alone. "Well, you never know what you might have in common with him, Finn. Don't be afraid to watch a musical or something with him. Some of the new ones, like Rent and stuff, are pretty good. You might like them."

"No worries," she assured him. "I like that you can talk to me that much." She thought for a moment about how to reply. "I'm okay, I guess," she finally answered noncommittally. "Everything seems...kind of harder now, but I guess I'll learn to get used to it. I'm glad to be back, though, it's nice to feel like I can get back into a routine."

Finn ducked his head in embarrassment, when she'd called him sweet. He just didn't want her to be sad, like Puck had been. That would be _awful_. "I'm glad. I think he needs you to, so he can feel better, you know? He doesn't understand why you left, any more than I do, and he hates that. He thinks he did something bad, to make you wanna go away, but he can't figure out what." He briefly wondered whether he should have kept that last part to himself, considering he only knew, because Puck had taken to mumbling in his sleep, with increased frequency. Usually things like _I'm sorry. Whatever I did, I didn't mean to make you leave. Please come back._ He hadn't mentioned Quinn's name, and he supposed Puck _could_ have been dreaming about his parents or something. But given the timing, it was pretty conclusive stuff. "I don't know if he _did_ do something, but either way, he needs to know."

He shook his head yet again. "Like I said, it was just a few broken bones. No internal bleeding or anything. Puck had me feeling good as new, within like, a half hour. Can't say the same for him though. He was in the infirmary, for a week. Don't listen to any of his _it was two days_ crap. It was a week." He almost laughed at his friend's bravado before it hit him that she'd probably feel unnecessarily guilty for that too. "I mean it normally wouldn't have hit him that hard." He explained, trying to make things better again. "He'd probably have been fine in twelve hours, twenty-four, tops. But he wasn't well, anyway. He'd just been training too hard, and hadn't been eating or sleeping much. That sort of thing. So it shouldn't have been a big deal."

He had _no_ idea how much worse he'd just made things.

"Yeah," he smiled faintly, thinking of him mom. He did miss her - he always did - but it wouldn't be _that_ long, until winter break.

"I tried," he told her. "But musicals are really confusing. I mean people don't just start singing, ya know? And then, when I said that we should watch one of my movies, because it was only fair, and Batman Begins makes, like actual _sense_, he got all huffy and called me an _uncultured Neanderthal,_" he frowned. "I don't even know what that _means_!"

He smiled. "Well, we're friends... I'm sorry I made you think I didn't want to be your friend anymore, earlier." Finn's expression turned a little sad, and apologetic, but it was still a smile. "I didn't mean to, I promise. I just figured, if you can't tell the people you care about, what you're feeling, without them hating you, then who _can _you tell?"

"You'll be fine, once you get used to it again," he encouraged. "It's good to have you back. This place hasn't been the same without you."

"I know," she acknowledged with a sigh. "I know we need to talk about it. I'm just not sure I'm ready for that yet. It's going to be a really long conversation, you know?"

She sat back in her chair, pinching the bridge of her nose between two fingers. "He - a _week_? Jesus, Noah," she felt her control slipping and her hand getting colder, so she took a deep breath to steady herself. "That, we're going to have to talk about."

"Well," she gave him the best smile she could manage, "those are just big words that mean he thinks you don't appreciate his tastes. I'll tell you what, Finn, why don't you try thinking of it like this? Batman's not real either, right? In real life, people don't dress up in costumes and fight crime. So it's no less realistic than people bursting into song." She thought for a second. "Actually, I've got two musicals you could try. I think you'd really like them. One's called _Repo: A Genetic Opera_ - don't be fooled, there's no actual opera in it - and the other's called _Tommy_. The music in both of them is very modern, very rock-and-roll. You can watch them and then you could have something to talk about with Kurt. What do you think?"

"See?" her smile was a bit hesitant, knowing that she hadn't really told him anything, but glad to hear that he still considered her his friend. "I told you that you're smart."

She laughed softly. "Well, I'm sure there's a few people around who'd say they wish I'd stayed away. But thank you - it's nice to be back. Closest thing I've got to home, after all."

Finn nodded. "Yeah. Things'll be better for both of you, when you can talk about it though. I mean I don't know what this whole thing's about, of course, but I _do_ know that secrets can really get a person down."

He figured that he may as well tell her everything, now that he'd gone and opened his big mouth. It might make any resulting conversation with Puck, at little shorter, and that _had_ to make things a little easier for him, at least. "Dr. Schue almost sent him to the hospital," he confessed. "I really thought he was gonna die," he said sadly. "He shouldn't have healed me. I shouldn't have let him. I'd have been fine, and I should have known something was wrong when I realized it was taking so long to do it." He had been in excruciating pain at the time, but he couldn't help but feel guilty for not seeing how much of a toll, healing him, had taken on Puck. He hadn't suspected a thing until his friend had passed out, right after he was done.

He nodded. "Thanks Quinn." Finn gave her a bright smile. "I'll give those a try." He just ignored her remark about his supposed intelligence. They were never going to agree on that subject - that was even her true opinion - so there was no use talking about it, anymore.

Quinn bit her lip. "I don't know if it'll be better," she said slowly, "but it'll be out in the open, at least."

She put her hand to her mouth as Finn talked, trying to stifle her tears. She'd had no idea - and of course Puck would never have let on. She'd almost killed him, then. It was her fault. As if she hadn't felt guilty and conflicted enough already. "I don't - I'm not sure what to say to that, Finn. Except to say how sorry I am. If I'd known - well, I don't know what I could have done, but I'm still sorry."

"I have them in my room if you want," she offered. "I bought them a while ago." She hoped they'd help bridge the gap between Finn and his new roommate - that kind of divide could make living together awkward, after all.

"It'll help," Finn said with complete certainty and nod of his head. "Trust me, I'm like smart," he grinned at the joke.

He noticed the vaguely traumatized took on Quinn's face. He hadn't meant to put that there, just tell her the truth. "Hey," he said, pushing his own guilt aside and moving to perch precariously, on the arm of Quinn's chair. "Look, I shouldn't have put the blame for this on you. I'm sorry," he rested a hand on the girl's shoulder. "It's not fair, or even like accurate. When it comes down to it, _Puck_ did this, not you. _Puck_ pulled that stupid stunt - although he didn't actually mean for me to get hurt, I'm _almost_ sure - and _Puck_ decided to heal me, even though he knew how weak it was making him. Yeah, maybe you shouldn't have left like you did, and I shouldn't have been stupid enough to _jump off the roof_ in the first place. But he was the one who had the facts and made the decisions he did, anyway." His head was hurting from all of the thinking, now. "It wasn't your fault that we coulda died. It was ours. Okay?"

His smile didn't fade. "Yeah, that'd be cool. Thanks." He hoped they were as good as she said though, because the ones he'd watched with Kurt already were just plain stupid.

"Yeah," Quinn agreed softly.

"It's nice of you to say," she whispered. "I still feel bad, though. He wouldn't have done that if it wasn't for me, and the fact that I almost killed you - both of you...it's too much," she stared at her feet.

"Anytime," she nodded, still not looking at him. "I just hope you like them."

"Puck's a grown ass man, capable of making his own decisions, Quinn," he said softly. "And like I said, we're fine. No harm, no foul. Even Puck's like _feeling better_, apparently... Or at least he was, until he saw you... I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I'm sure he's fine. I haven't seen him, or anything. I just mean that seeing you again, it's like _big_. I'm pretty sure he's in love with you, so I don't know how he's feeling. Hell, he's probably just glad to have you back."

Seeing that he was just making things worse, Finn decided to quit digging holes, and leave. "Anyway," he patted her shoulder again. "I should leave you to your book. I'll come by to get those movies later, or something?"

Quinn felt Finn's slip of the tongue like a knife to the heart, but she did her best not to show it. "I hope so," she nodded slowly.

"Sure," she smiled the best she could. "My door's always open. And if I'm not in, San knows where the DVDs are." She looked up at him seriously. "Thanks again, Finn. You're a good guy."

Finn caught the flicker of pain that crossed Quinn's face before she managed to school it. He might not be smart, but you didn't survive four years of being best friends with Puck, without learning to recognize a micro-expression when you saw one. He gave her shoulder one last squeeze, by way of apology, and stood up.

"You don't have to thank me for anything, Quinn... It really is good to see you. I'm really glad you're back." He smiled at her. "I'll see you later." And with that, he turned on his heel and made his way to the door. He spared her one last glance, before heading down the hall.

Quinn met his glance and nodded as he left, before returning her attention to the crackling fire. She stared into it as if it held the meaning of life, trying to work through everything Finn had told her. Puck had lied to her, clearly, about how bad things were. And despite anything Finn could tell her, it was her fault. She needed to tell him. He would hate her, but at least that would be better for him than wondering what had happened - why she'd left.

She closed her book, sure that she'd read no more that night, and watched the fire until it was embers.


	11. Chapter 11

Rachel walked along the edge of the McKinley school grounds. She had studied for most of the evening, but her mind just wouldn't let her forget her fathers. She felt coiled like a spring, ready to release her energy in some way. In realizing her tension, the brunette figured she needed to walk and clear her mind out in the cool night air. She had skirted the grounds previously, but this time she was edging the fences. It was almost as if she was weighing the decision to head back out into the world, away from the safety of the school. Part of her felt the need to check to see if her fathers were all right. Another part of her screamed that staying would allow her to carve a future and make them proud.

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Rachel leaned against the bars separating the school full of gifted students from the ignorant world beyond. Being at the school had so far been interesting and she had met all different kinds of people, but she was still always on guard. If not for her own safety, then for the safety of those around her. Dr. Schuester understood, but at the same time couldn't comprehend her situation. Sometimes she would feel hopeless and that's when she'd take a walk, look at the stars, and try to remind herself of all of the things that were worth fighting for.

Quinn could have walked away - she knew Rachel hadn't seen her, that she was wrapped up in her own world. Quinn knew the feeling. She'd been sitting near the fence, on a blanket she'd borrowed from her bedroom, staring up at the stars.

Where was her child? Was she looking up at the same stars right now, with the blind wonder of an infant? Or was she a thousand miles away, under a different set of stars? She didn't know - she'd never know. It was part of the deal. All she'd ever be able to do was wonder and wish.

She didn't want to startle the other girl, but she thought she should announce her presence, just so Rachel didn't think she was being spied on or something. So she kept her voice soft and just said "hey."

Rachel heard the quiet greeting and looked towards the source, spotting Quinn sitting against the fence. "Good evening..." she said hesitantly. Even though they seemed to be passed what had happened the previous week, the brunette was already tense enough and the blonde seemed to have been lost in thought as well. She didn't want to bother (or start trouble) with Quinn so she continued walking. "My apologies for disturbing you."

The telepath nodded and continued her walk. There was plenty of space all throughout the McKinley school grounds and Quinn seemed to have been there before her. She had no problem moving on. It was a feeling she'd become used to in her life.

"Rachel," Quinn called softly after her. "You don't have to leave. You can come and sit if you want. I've got plenty of blanket." She still felt guilty about how she'd treated the brunette, and doubly guilty for her misunderstood joke in Santana's room. "I wouldn't mind some company right now."

She sighed. "But if you'd rather not, I don't blame you."

Rachel froze for a moment, trying to decide whether she should stay or leave. Quinn had seemed nicer since their initial meeting and she did believe in starting anew with people. The other girl hadn't seemed to really like her though and she really didn't want to make things worse between them. With a sigh the brunette stepped over beside the girl on the ground and leaned back against the fence, crossing her feet as she stood and allowing some space between them for safety. She wasn't sure whose she was thinking of at the time: hers or Quinn's.

"Why are you out here...?" she asked softly, turning her gaze to the sky once more.

"Just...wondering, I guess." Quinn was ashamed of the tears in her eyes as she looked at the stars, but for once she felt the need to be open. "Wondering if sometimes you make mistakes that you can't ever take back. How you can live with them, if that's true." She sighed. "I guess, more than anything, I'm just feeling alone tonight. And I know that's ironic, the biggest bitch in the place feeling lonely. But it's true."

She looked over at the other girl. "And you?" she turned the question. "What brings you out here?"

Rachel looked over at Quinn and frowned. She didn't like seeing anyone so distraught. The blonde's statement and subsequence question made her tense and as she closed her eyes she could see the flashes of broken, bleeding bodies before she reopened them quickly. Taking a deep breath and curling her fists, she responded. "We all make mistakes. It's a part of being human. You shouldn't think in terms of whether you can undo them or not. Instead, learn from them and put what you've learned into practice in the future. It's how we grow," she crossed her arms and tried to shake the images from her mind.

Looking over at the blonde, she shrugged. "I wouldn't know if you're the biggest bitch or not. I haven't been here long enough. I do know that people who really don't care, don't hide the way you do. You and Noah are very similar. You both like to pretend that you're untouchable, but really you feel just as much or maybe more than others. You just need someone to call you on it," she stated, looking out over the school grounds.

"I'm just..." she hesitated for a moment, but decided to tell the truth. After all, Quinn had opened up slightly and she felt like she should offer the same. "I'm thinking about everything I left behind a long time ago..."

Quinn could see Rachel tense up in her peripheral vision, but she didn't move. She didn't want to spoil the careful detente they'd established, and she wasn't sure whether contact would make her feel better or worse. "I guess," she acknowledged. "I'm not very good at learning from my mistakes, though," she chuckled quietly.

She made a sound that was halfway between a laugh and a sob. "You're pretty insightful. If it wasn't for how much it hurt last time, I'd wonder if you were in my head again."

She looked up at Rachel, then averted her eyes. "I'll trade you stories of what got left behind, if you want. I'll even go first." She had no idea what was going through her head, just that she wanted to tell _somebody_, **needed** to tell somebody, and Rachel was _safe_. They barely knew each other, and she wasn't involved, and _god_ she needed to say it out loud, to someone.

"I had a baby," she whispered. "Puck's baby. He doesn't know - you can't ever say anything. I left before he found out I was pregnant. It's why I missed so much of last year, why I was late coming back. I gave her up. My baby girl, and I gave her away." She put her head between her legs, trying not to cry. "You go," she muttered in a hoarse voice. "Your turn."

Rachel allowed a half-smile to take it's place on her features. "You'd be surprised how much you learn when it really comes down to it, Quinn. Believe me," she told the blonde, looking down. "I'm sorry about that...it's...not always that painful, I..." She shook her head and swallowed the lump in her throat.

She didn't even get a chance to give her answer before the blonde dropped the huge news on her. The brunette looked at Quinn wide-eyed and in shocked for a moment before responding. "Well, what the _fuck_ am I supposed to do with this? Oh Jesus..." she sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Look, I won't tell him...for now. You had better say something to him eventually. You owe him that much and Noah is a good guy underneath the mask he places up for the world to see. Whatever your justifications were...that's your business, but he deserves to hear the truth and it should come from your mouth." She ran a hand through her hair trying to find the right words.

"I'm sorry you had to give up your child. I have no idea what that must feel like. You're so young and it was probably terrifying. The only thing I can say is that you made the best decision for her and she'll grow up in a good home full of love. Someday, she will most likely want to know her birth mother and if you're ready and receptive, you'll get the chance to know her," she said, looking to Quinn again. She was speaking of her own experience, but had her mother actually wanted to know her...well, things might be a lot different.

"I'm sorry," Quinn sighed. "I didn't mean to tell you, I didn't plan that, I just - I've been going insane for months, and I haven't been able to tell anyone. I'm sorry," she kept her gaze fixed on the ground. "I shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't have put that on you. You just seemed...safe, I guess? I don't know. But I'm sorry."

She sighed again, sniffling back tears. "I'm going to," she promised. "I have to, I know." She looked up with a desperate sort of hope in her eyes. "Do you think so? I mean, she'll be okay, right?" She shook her head. "You don't have to answer that. I'm sorry, I didn't even let you tell me about what you left behind. I'm sorry. I'm not very good at...dealing with people."

She took a shuddering breath. "Just forget it. Tell me about you - what you were thinking of out here tonight. Before I dropped a load of shit that isn't your fault or your responsibility right on top of you."

Rachel looked at Quinn and sighed. She wanted to help the blonde, not make her feel worse. "It's okay. You are safe...with me," she acknowledged, wondering if that was really the truth. "I won't tell anyone else, but I do urge you to take Noah aside and speak with him. The last thing you want is him finding out from somewhere else..." She gave Quinn a pointed look. Her first training session with Puck had been him showing her file after he'd snooped around Dr. Schuester's office. Thankfully, the older telepath had left her more confidential information somewhere more secure.

She slid down the fence and sat beside, the taller girl. "I think she'll be fine. Considering how worried you seem, I don't think you'd leave her to someone you didn't trust to do a good job of raising her. As for whether she'll want to see you..." Rachel shrugged, not really having a solid answer. "I love my parents, but I still wanted to know who my mother was. I think any person in that situation is curious to know where they came from."

She chuckled at the blonde and shook her head. "My problems are much less significant that having a child and giving said child up for adoption," she drew her knees up and rested her hands over them.

"Thank you," Quinn whispered. "It's nice to know that there's someone I can be safe with." She caught Rachel's look and got her point. "Yeah - the Doc knows, and he's kept it from Puck so far, but...you're right. I can't ask him to do that forever. And he really does deserve to know."

Quinn reached out for Rachel's hand before awkwardly moving her hand back to her side. She didn't know if they were ready for that sort of contact. "I didn't arrange it," she shook her head. "I don't know who they are, the people Beth is with now. All I can do is hope." She raised an eyebrow at Rachel's words. "You were adopted too?"

"I doubt they're less significant," she argued. "Just different. And you can tell me if you want to. It'd be nice to have something else to think about for a while."

"You're welcome..." Rachel said softly, nodding her assent at Quinn. "In a sense, yes. My mother was a surrogate so that my fathers could have a child. She was young and had her own dreams so my fathers helped her out in exchange for the chance to have a child." She explained clinically. She didn't need to get emotional over things that would never change.

She rested her chin on her arms and looked out over the school grounds. "I was just thinking about my dads. I haven't seen them in many years. I wonder how they are and if they're okay. Normal stuff," she tried to smile through her explanation, even though she knew her situation was anything _but_ normal.

"So you have two dads, then?" Quinn confirmed. "That's awesome. It's nice that your mother could help them do that. Do you - I mean, did you ever meet her? Ignore me if that's too personal."

Quinn adopted a matching posture - not trying to be mocking, just trying to get comfortable. "Again, stop me if I'm asking stuff you don't want to answer, that's cool. But how come it's been so long? I mean - I haven't seen my parents either, but that's a plus in my case."

Rachel winced slightly at the mention of her mother, but it really wasn't something she felt the need to hide. "I guess it was nice...I did meet her. She didn't want me though. Didn't want to know me. She'd grown up and realized she wanted a baby, not a grown up daughter who had already..." she locked her jaw and stopped speaking. It still hurt to talk about. The reminder that Shelby had wanted an innocent child and not someone who had been through hell and back at the age of ten, still upset her.

The brunette blinked away her tears and forced a smile. "Anyways, it just didn't work out. I haven't been back to see my dads because..." she frowned. What was she supposed to say? That she murdered a bunch of teenagers with her power when she was a kid and even though her family had moved away, it haunted her and them. That she left to protect them from people who would use her to hurt them. That she left to protect them from herself. No, she couldn't say any of that. "It just has never been the right time...Some things are just meant to be." She sighed sadly.

Quinn frowned. "That's just..." she didn't even have the words. "That sucks. I mean, if I ever get a chance to see my daughter, I won't care how old she is. She's mine, you know? Flesh and blood. I'm so sorry that she would ever do that to you, turn her back on you that way. You deserve better, Rachel."

There was clearly more to the story. Quinn was a lot of things, but she wasn't blind. But she was hardly going to try and force anything out of the other girl. "I'm sorry," she did reach out for Rachel's hand this time, hoping it wouldn't drive her away. "I can't imagine how hard that must be for you."

"Well, I'm sure you will get the chance, Quinn. I'm glad you will accept your daughter no matter who she is," Rachel gave Quinn a sad smile. "As for what I deserve..." She laughed a little coldly. "My biological mother not loving me is hardly a punishment."

She felt Quinn grasp her hand and the movement startled her, causing her eyes to lock with the hazel of her companion. The tension and emotion from their conversation got the best of her and she couldn't help the caress she sent through their connection. Realizing what she'd done only moments too late, Rachel jumped back from the blonde and looked to her feet. "Quinn...I..." she clenched her jaw and trembled for a moment.

"I'm so sorry..." she wasn't sure what else to say or do, but she needed to know the other girl was okay.

"I will," Quinn promised, as much to herself as to Rachel. "No matter what." She was about to ask what Rachel meant about her mother, but the shock of the effect when they joined hands and locked eyes knocked the question right out of her head.

In her life, Quinn had known very few caring touches. Her parents, maybe in the distant past before her power had manifested. Doctor Schue, when he caught up to her as she ran from her home, Puck, in their most private moments, and finally her daughter's tiny hands. This was like all of those, and somehow more and different and_overwhelming_ with the amount of caring it held and the way it touched her. But the way Rachel launched herself backward, it had clearly been inadvertent. Quinn wanted to assure her that it didn't mean anything unless she wanted it to. She wanted to assure her that she was okay. But she had to take a deep breath first, trying to collect herself. She put a hand up in an effort to the other girl from running off before she could.

"Hey, hey," Quinn shook her head when she could think again. "It's okay. Everything's okay. It didn't hurt or anything, it actually felt..." how _had_ it felt? "Nice. I know you didn't mean to - I shouldn't have startled you like that, it was my fault. But nobody got hurt. And it was - nobody's made me feel like that in a long time," she gave Rachel a hesitant smile. "Everything's fine, you don't have to apologize. It's fine." She could feel herself tearing up and cursed her wildly out of control emotions. The caress had felt like something she'd always been missing but never known about, and she wished more than anything that she could ask for another. But she couldn't do that, obviously.

"I didn't know you could do anything like that," she whispered.

Rachel stayed tense and watched Quinn for a moment to make sure the other girl was all right. The connection she had felt to the blonde had been surprising and yet for that brief moment, she'd felt _calm_. It wasn't asked for nor wanted by Quinn and she felt horrible for her inadvertent action. She normally never linked herself with someone the way she just had with the taller girl. It scared her how volatile her emotions were right now. The brunette needed to keep her distance.

She shook, but leaned against the fence keeping a foot of space between them and her gaze directed somewhere off into the dark night. "I _knew_ that it was on the surface. I should have been more careful. It will not happen again, I promise," she said quickly, her face betraying no emotion. "My _gift_ has many different quirks. I'm quite good at controlling it, but...sometimes when I'm unguarded or intensely emotive I just let go. I apologize again."

Quinn steadied herself with a few more deep breaths. It really was all she could do to keep from asking, from _begging_ to experience that feeling again. But she could hardly could that.

"Rachel, please listen. It's okay. It's not like you hurt me. I know how easy it is to lose control, and it's my fault - I startled you. Please just relax. Everything's okay. I...I think it's pretty cool, honestly. It was a nice feeling."

Rachel vicariously shook her head and clenched her fists. "It _isn't_ okay, Quinn. I can't just take a short tour in people's heads when I'm having a bad day. The world doesn't work like that. It's no wonder that..." she clamped her mouth shut and gritted her teeth, remembering the boys she'd killed, the way her father had looked at her afterwards, her mother rejecting her, and every other subsequent horrid memory.

She clenched her eyes shut and kept her face turned away from the other girl. She needed to calm down or walk away because she was scared of the consequences of not taking one of those two paths. She tried to take deep breaths to calm herself down, digging her nails into her palms so that perhaps the pain would outweigh her agitation.

"Hey, stop," Quinn pleaded. "Just look at me, okay? I'm fine, everything's fine. I'm not saying it's something you should do for fun or anything, but you were surprised into it. And I honestly don't mind - I forgive you, if that helps."

She sighed. "Just breathe with me, okay? Nice and slow. In...and out," she demonstrated the pace she was using. "In...and out."

"I can't look at you, Quinn. You don't want that..._I_ don't want that. I could hurt you...worse than I did before," Rachel shook her head. "I-I need to get away...I can't be around you." She ground her teeth together, trying to breathe to calm herself. She trembled violently and squeezed her eyes together tightly so that she wouldn't accidentally hurt Quinn.

"I trust you," Quinn argued. "Maybe it's stupid, maybe you'll hurt me, but I trust you. I know you're scared right now, that you're afraid - but you need to calm down so you _don't_ hurt someone. Or yourself. And I want to help you." She reached out, no longer hesitant, and took both of Rachel's hands in her own. "Just breathe, okay? Slow, and deep. Just breathe."

Rachel shook her head violently. "Don't! You need to stay away!" she yelled, her body firmly coiled. She gasped as Quinn grabbed her hands and tried to pull away from the contact. "You don't get it! Let me go!" She could feel her emotions bubbling to the surface and she used all of her restraint to hold everything inside. She felt something wet drip down across her lips and she darted her tongue out only to taste the metallic tang of blood. Her body was rebelling against her. She could feel her entire frame trembling violently.

"You...have to let go of me, Quinn..." she hissed through her gritted teeth.

Quinn was suddenly terrified, and torn between letting go and holding on. She realized how very vulnerable she'd made herself, doing something like this without fully understanding - or, if she were honest with herself, understanding at all - how the other girl's power worked. But she was committed to her course of action now, and while she had no idea if it was right, she stuck with it.

"Look at me," she demanded. "Rachel, open your eyes and look at me - whatever you need to do, whatever you need to get out, _let_ it out. If you hurt me then Puck can heal me, just let it out before it hurts you - god, your _nose_, Rachel, it's bleeding, just let it out! Please!" she didn't relinquish her grip, praying fervently to the god who she'd given up on years ago that she was doing the right thing. And that if it killed her, her baby would be okay.

Rachel knew she could never kill another person and she certainly didn't want to hurt Quinn again. Using the fact that the blonde was touching her, she gently pushed the girl a fair distance away from her. She opened her eyes and looked at the ground, letting go of the restraint and allowing a small shock wave of her power to flow outwards knowing Quinn was safe. Once the power had been released, Rachel felt herself fall to her knees and then to the ground.

Quinn bounced a couple of times as she travelled backward, but as she watched Rachel release what she'd been holding in she knew she should be grateful she wasn't seriously hurt - or worse. She stayed where she was, not sure whether the telepath would be furious with her or not, and not wanting to invade her space again without being asked. "I'm sorry," she spoke loud enough for her voice to cross the distance between them. "I didn't know what to do - I was only trying to help." She looked at the ground, wondering whether her father had been right about her - whether she was just a screw-up that made everyone's lives worse.

She wanted desperately to help Rachel up, at least to a sitting position, but she didn't know if that was okay - she was frozen with indecision, and she hated the feeling. "Can I...do you need a hand up or anything?" she offered lamely. "Sorry. Again."

Rachel saw black around the edges of her vision and tried to push herself up, swaying violently. She managed to use the fence to pull herself up and hold herself for a moment. "I know you were only trying to help me. It isn't your fault. I need to go..." she said, her gait slow as she began to walk back the way she'd come. The brunette had never had to contain her power that way before. Perhaps it was because she wasn't using it as much as she used to or maybe it had something to do with the people she was around. It didn't matter. She couldn't stay at the school and risk killing someone. Not even Puck's healing could bring people back from what she could do to them.

"You need to stay away from me, Fabray," the brunette spoke coldly.

She wanted to help - Rachel looked exhausted, out of it, like she was going to fall over at any moment. But the tone of her voice rooted Quinn to her spot. It was like a punch in the stomach; she'd been deluding herself into thinking she was actually making a friend, someone she could confide in. Knowing she'd clearly misread the situation hurt.

"Okay," she agreed, her gaze directed at the ground. "I'll stay away. I'm sorry."

Rachel felt like complete shit. Not only had she almost killed the blonde, but she had to treat her poorly after the things Quinn had just confessed to her. Hopefully, the girl's friends at the school would take care of her. The brunette dragged herself away trying to regain her strength, knowing she needed to pack her things and leave tonight. She was never meant for a normal existence.

Quinn could have cried - she was close, if she was honest with herself. But after ten minutes of sitting on the cold ground, looking up at the stars and trying to organize her thoughts, she came to a decision. She was Quinn fucking Fabray. She was the Ice Queen. No one around here but the Doc was going to give her orders, and dammit, if Rachel Berry thought she was that easy to walk away from, she was going to find out otherwise. Quinn Fabray walked away from _you_, not the other way around. Quinn Fabray ordered you to stay away,_not_ the other way around. This wasn't going to stand.

As she continuing towards the dormitories, Rachel had to stop for a few minutes to be sick. The massive pounding in her head was making it difficult to do anything, but she could honestly say she'd been through worse. It was important for her to leave the school in the dead of night when no one would stop her or look for her. Her whole body ached, but she pushed herself onwards to her room.

She sent out a silent apology to the girl she'd left behind. Something about Quinn threw her completely off-kilter and she'd never been on such an emotional roller coaster before. It was safer for the blonde to despise her and avoid her.

It was hard to run, but Quinn forced herself to do it anyway. She needed to catch up with the telepath - something told her she needed to do it soon. She checked the grounds, as best she could in the dark, and came up empty, and finally found herself at Rachel's room - which she only recognized because the door was standing open, where none of the others were.

She pushed it open, aware that she shouldn't startle the other girl, but feeling both desperate and furious in equal measures. "Hey!" she blurted. "What do you think you're doing? Do you think you can make me feel...whatever that was, and then just tell me to walk away? Goddammit, Rachel - I don't make friends, I don't have friends. I'm a terrible person. But you - you made me feel like I could trust you. You're not walking away from me now. I just," she shook her head, "I won't _have_ it!"

Rachel was packing the few things that she owned and trying to stay upright. Her entire body was fighting against her, but she knew she couldn't rest until she left school grounds. Her head was pounding, but her senses were still sharp enough to hear someone coming. When Quinn started yelling at her, she winced and put a hand to her head. "Go away, Quinn. I already apologized and said it would never happen again..." she kept the pain out of her voice, staying completely stoic.

"As for trusting me, I already said I wouldn't say a word. After tonight, you'll never have to worry about that again," she zipped up her bag slowly, trying to shake how faint she felt and blinking the blackness from her vision.

Quinn shook her head. "First of all, I didn't ask you to apologize. That was the nicest thing I've felt since...well, for a long time. It's taken _every_ ounce of self-control I have not to plead for you to do it again." She knew she was bouncing from angry to pleading and all over the emotional spectrum, and she didn't know why she was so invested in this girl, but she knew she needed her around. She'd figure out the how and the why later.

"Second," she lowered her voice, mindful of the way Rachel was wincing, "you need to sit down. Preferably before you fall down. There's no reason for you to run away. I don't think you understood. When I said I don't make friends, I meant..." she swallowed, "before you. I think - I think I could be your friend. I don't," she sighed, "I don't want you to leave." She hated to be this vulnerable, this open, but she hoped it would make a difference. "Please..."

Rachel stared at the bag on her bed, feeling it was safe and inanimate. "I don't know why that happened. I've never connected with someone like that before..." she explained, gripping the handle of her bag tightly. "I can't stay, Quinn. I could have killed you. I can't stay and hurt innocent people. I would think most of the kids here don't even understand how the world works. Most are sheltered and live happy lives behind the walls of this school. They have Dr. Schuester to look after them. What happens when the monster they don't know is living right under their noses?"

She lifted the bag onto her shoulder swaying violently but catching herself. "Please, move out of the doorway. I know you are not this terrible person you try to show everyone else. I know you have issues just like everyone does and you choose to hold them in and cover them with this icy facade you display. Maybe if you warmed to some people, you'd find they'd care more than you think. Now if you'll excuse me," she kept her eyes trained to Quinn's shoes and waited for the girl to step aside.

"You _didn't_ kill me. Even when you were totally out of control, bleeding and shaking, you still had the presence of mind to push me away before you let that power out. You may think you're some kind of monster, Rachel, but you've had lots of chances to hurt me so far, and you haven't."

Quinn planted her feet. "Maybe that's true. I don't know. There's not many people who I've ever felt like I _could_ do that with. But you - you've seen into me. It makes it easier. It means we've already made more progress than I have with pretty much anyone else. And I won't let you walk away. If you want me to move," she swallowed, sending up a silent plea, "you're going to have to move me. Otherwise you're going to lie down and I'll tuck you into bed. And then I'll see you tomorrow."

Rachel stepped towards Quinn. "I will only ask you one more time, Fabray. Please move," she spoke in a deathly quiet tone. She really wanted to avoid using her power again. She didn't honestly know if her body would be able to handle it, but when she was determined she didn't stop until the end.

Anger hadn't worked. Bargaining, reasoning, they had all failed. There was only one avenue left to her, and as much as she loathed doing it, as much as she despised being vulnerable, it was the only other thing she could think of. "Please," she pleaded, stepping partly out of the way to lessen the confrontational feeling. "Please don't go. I...I don't even know what I'm asking, just...please. Don't leave."

Rachel hated hearing the other girl plead. She wished with all of her being that there was something more she could do for Quinn. The only solace she could take in all of this was that at least they'd only known each other a week. Hopefully, the blonde would forget about her soon enough. "I'm sorry, Quinn...truly..." she offered her final apology as she attempted to move past the taller girl.

_Damn it to hell_. The last card had been played, and she was no closer to the pot than she had been at the beginning. She only had one option left, and it was born of desperation. She no longer knew, or cared, why it was so important that the girl stay. But it _was_. So she did the only thing she could think of. As Rachel brushed by her, she reached out and, for the second time that evening, grabbed her hand.

Rachel thought she was home free until Quinn reached out and grabbed her hand. With no more strength left, she couldn't stop the connection made between her and the blonde. Before the other girl had a chance to see her memories she tried to sever the link. Her pupils blown, breathing heavy, blood dripping from her nose again, she locked eyes with Quinn and she was sure the other girl saw some of the fights she'd been forced into and felt some of the pain she'd endured.

As the blackness engulfed her, she only hoped that the blonde hadn't felt too much before she was able to stop the connection. Rachel fell forward as she passed out from the strain on her mind and body.

Quinn only barely kept her from hitting the floor - she was reeling, staggered by the force and intensity of the images in her head, the feelings that weren't her own but that gripped her with the same force as if they were. She dragged the passed-out girl toward her bed and fell onto it with her, exhausted from the toll the connection had taken on her.

There was so much _pain_, she thought. How could one girl, one tiny girl, have experienced so much pain in her short life? For all that Quinn had endured, she still felt sorry for Rachel, because, _god_, there was so much. She could understand why the girl - wrongly - thought of herself as a monster, but she hadn't begun any of the fights that Quinn saw in her head, she'd been forced into them. She couldn't blame herself - someone had to tell her that it wasn't her fault. But it would have to wait. Quinn couldn't stay conscious any longer. She pulled Rachel further onto the bed, hoping it was enough to keep her from sliding off, and surrendered to the inky blackness that claimed her. Her last thought was a prayer that Rachel wouldn't hate her too much when she woke.


	12. Chapter 12

Rachel woke up with a pounding in her head, but the feeling of warmth surrounding her. She chose not to open her eyes, afraid that it would just intensify the migraine currently jackhammering against her skull. She felt calm and a foreign scent invaded her senses, but made her relax. It smelled like vanilla and lilac. Unconsciously, she shifted closer to the source of warmth and the comforting scent in hopes that it would lessen the pain in her head. The brunette swiped her tongue along her dry lips and tasted the faint coppery tang of blood. Why did she taste blood?

In that moment, a few things happened. Rachel remembered the previous evening and the events leading up to her black out. Her eyes shot open in a flash to see the blonde wrapped in her arms before she groaned at the pain the light played on her senses. In her panic, she tried to untangle herself from the other girl next to her and only managed to violently roll off the bed. Stars clouded her vision as she smacked her head on the ground in her haste to remove herself from the embrace of the girl in her bed and she cursed in pain once more. Finally, her brain clued into the fact that she hadn't made it out of the school last night and she began to scramble to get her bag to make her exit.

Everything hurt. Her body felt like it had been run over by a steamroller, but she pushed herself through the pain in hopes that she might be able to make it out before her companion woke up.

Whether it was the sudden empty place in her arms, or the noise as Rachel hit the ground, something startled Quinn out of the coma-like sleep she'd been in since she hit the bed the night before. She still felt like she'd been hit by a truck, but she forced an eye open all the same.

Rachel was trying - again - to leave. Quinn wanted to get up, to physically stop her, but she could only manage a weak "please, don't," as she struggled to even sit up.

Rachel looked up at the sound of Quinn's voice and could see that the blonde wasn't moving from her bed. She quickly rushed over to the girl, ignoring her own pain. Placing a hand gently on Quinn's forehead, she let out a breath of relief. "You don't have a fever, thank goodness. You'll be all right," she looked at her companion in guilt and sorrow. "I'm so sorry, Quinn. Truly I am." Her voice was raw and she felt like crying, but refused to do so. She had to stay strong in order to make it out of the school.

Her hand was like a soothing balm on Quinn's head, but she was _still_ trying to leave. Everything hurt, and moving was a tremendous effort, but she threw herself forward, trying to get out of bed and at least get in the way. It was a failure in that all she managed to really do was fall over.

"I saw inside you," she whispered, still trying to reach out and get between Rachel and the door, despite the futility of the struggle. "You're not," she swallowed, "you're not a bad person, Rachel. There was so much pain - but it's not your fault. No more than my pain is mine. Please - please don't go. I can't stop you anymore. I can't even get up right now. All I can do is ask you - please don't walk out that door? Please?"

Rachel tensed at Quinn admission and closed her eyes. She'd never meant for that brief connection to happen and she hated that Quinn had seen and felt those horrible things. It was bad enough that she had to live with the scars and memories for the rest of her life. She didn't need to be pushing them onto someone else. When the blonde fell in her attempt to move, she quickly moved over to the taller girl and helped her back into bed.

Her muscles protested the action, but she was worried about Quinn. Rachel figured the use of her power had taken it's toll on the other girl. The only reason she was still standing was because of the conditioning her body had been through over the years. She sighed and tucked Quinn under the covers. "Just rest, okay? I'll...be here when you wake up. It's my fault you're like this so I will take responsibility and ensure you recover fully. I'll bring you by some food later," she said quietly, groaning and standing from her squatted position by the bed.

Quinn let herself - well, not that she could have stopped it at that point - get helped back into bed, and she all but wept with relief when Rachel promised she wasn't leaving. She really would have been powerless to stop her this time.

"Not your fault," she whispered. "_I_ grabbed _you_. I knew I was taking a chance." She had to stop and breathe. "You need to lay down too," she said insistently. "You're not okay. I can move if you want. You can have your bed." She wasn't sure how she'd manage that, but she knew the other girl needed to lie down just as badly as she did, and she wanted to make sure that happened.

What she'd seen in their brief connection - it haunted her, but not in the way Rachel probably imagined. It haunted her because no one should ever have to have gone through the hurt that the brunette had. It was too much for a lifetime, never mind less than two decades. Quinn's fervent hope was that Rachel hadn't been reading as well as broadcasting in those few seconds - there were only two people who knew what her own life had been like, and she didn't want to burden Rachel with that knowledge, given how much pain she was already carrying.

Shaking her head, Rachel offered Quinn a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "No, I'll be okay. I need to wash my face and clean up a bit. I will inform Dr. Schuester and your instructors about you missing class today and ensure you get the required notes," she said quietly, not wishing to aggravate the pounding in her head. "Please get comfortable and get a good rest. You'll feel much better given another few hours of sleep."

She stroked Quinn's hair back from her face and then turned to head to the washroom to clean the dried blood from her nose and face. The brunette hated knowing how badly she had slipped up with the blonde, but she would simply have to see to the other girl's recovery and then decide her next steps.

"Okay," Quinn mumbled, her eyes fluttering as she tried to keep them open. "Thank you - for everything. For not leaving." She leaned into Rachel's brief touch, grateful for the contact. As the brunette headed for the washroom, Quinn forced herself awake enough to call a question after her. "Are you okay, though? I mean really okay?"

It took Rachel a few minutes to wash off the blood and freshen up. She popped a couple of painkillers into her mouth and swallowed before stepping back into the room with a lighter dosage of Advil and some water for Quinn. "I'll live, Quinn. I've been through worse," she almost smiled, but winced when she remembered the blonde had seen some of her memories. Holding out the tablets and water for Quinn to take, she sat down at her desk chair. "Here takes these. It should make you feel a little bit better."

"Thank you," Quinn took them with shaking hands, nearly dropping the pills before she could get them to her mouth. She swallowed them and set the glass of water down beside the bed, in case she needed it for later.

"I know you have," Quinn said softly. "I just hope I didn't...I never meant to hurt you last night, I just...I didn't want you to go. I'm sorry."

Rachel shrugged and shook off the apology. "It's not your fault. You didn't know. I'm sorry I couldn't control myself better. Normally I can, but yesterday I wasn't at my best," she explained, not adding the fact that their brief connection of warmth had also thrown her for a loop. "I apologize that you had to see those things, but please don't let them bother you. Forget them...I could even help with that once I'm back to feeling one-hundred percent."

"Don't apologize," Quinn shook her head. "I had no right to...to grab you like that. I was just desperate, but that's not an excuse." She grabbed the water and had another drink.

"And if it's all the same - I'd rather not forget them. I feel like...I know you better now. I mean, if you're not okay with me knowing, then you can get rid of them if you want, but if it's okay with you, I'd like to hold on to them. You can find out anything you want about me, if that'd make it even."

Rachel turned to her computer and began typing up messages to Dr. Schuester and her other instructors to give them a heads up on her and Quinn's absence. "Normally grabbing someone to get their attention is a perfectly normal method of contact. It just intensifies things for me," she sighed and continued typing in her emails. She listened to the blonde speak before turning back to her with a frown.

"I don't...I don't take things from people without permission and certainly not to even the scales. What happened last night was unfortunate, but I'm not like that," she looked down before turning back to her screen. Sure, she'd had to do some questionable things when she was living on the streets, but she did her best to avoid using people for her own needs.

"But I knew that, and I did it anyway. So I really am sorry about that." She listened to the chattering of the keyboard, letting her eyes clothes again. "But I won't lie and say I'm not glad I did it, because you're still here."

"I didn't mean it like that!" Quinn's eyes snapped open. "I only meant you could ask - you know, out loud? I never thought you'd do anything like that. I'm sorry if that's how it sounded."

Rachel finished her letters to her different instructors and turned back around. "It is my fault you are in this state. It's only right of me to make sure you recover fully before I do anything else. I just wouldn't feel right if I left you and something happened," she said softly, quirking her lips upwards slightly.

Seeing Quinn get excited, Rachel was surprised for a moment but relaxed again. "It's okay. I am sorry for my assumption. I still do not feel the need to ask you things simply because you found out a few tidbits from my past. You already opened up to me about your child. If you wish to tell me more, that is your choice but I do not want you to feel like I will be upset if you choose not to," she explained as she rested her arms across the back of her chair, leaning her head on them like a pillow.

"It's still nice of you," Quinn argued, returning the small smile. "It would have been easier to just call the doc or something and then run. Makes you a good person in my books."

"No worries," she assured her, shutting her eyes against the bright lights. "I'm just sorry if that's the way it sounded." She swallowed, adjusting her position in the bed. "Well, it really does seem only fair. You didn't get a choice when I saw those things, so I owe you a little. Let's see," she mused, trying to decide what to share, "I ran away from home. That's how I ended up here."

She waited to see whether Rachel would ask a follow-up question. Strangely she was hoping for one, because at least then they could have a conversation.

Rachel frowned for a moment, remembering how eager she had been to leave last night. "You give me too much credit, Quinn. If I hadn't passed out before getting the chance, I would have left," she felt guilty at her original actions. When Quinn told her about her own past and how she came to be at the school, the brunette wasn't sure what to do. She didn't want the blonde to feel like there was a debt owed.

"You really don't have to tell me all of this...but since you shared...How old were you and...why?" she asked slowly, trying not to be too nosy about the subject.

"But you didn't leave me this morning. And I couldn't have stopped you." Quinn smiled sadly. "So, thank you for that."

She was silent for a long moment before she answered. She'd wanted this, she wanted a real conversation, but it had been so long since she'd told the story that she wasn't sure how to begin. "I was fourteen when I ran away," she finally started. "As for why...my power manifested for the first time when I was eleven years old. At the dinner table. I knocked over a glass of water, and when I reached out to stop it from falling over, I froze it. My parents are - were - well, are, I guess, capital "C" Christians. My father told me what I'd done was a sin against god. And then he took an eleven year-old girl that was frightened of the dark and locked her in her bedroom closet for three days." She wasn't aware she'd slipped into talking about herself in the third person, but it made it easier. Doctor Schue had called it disassociation, when she'd first done it.

"That girl - I don't know how your power manifested, but she couldn't control hers. It happened when she least expected, when she was stressed or frightened, and every time her parents found out the punishments got worse. Longer stays in the closet, they hit her, once they even broke bones. The last time it happened her father actually_ tied her up_ in her own bedroom closet so she couldn't freeze the lock and break it. Finally she knew she had to get out." She was crying, but she didn't notice.

"So the very last time she used her power, and she knew her father was going to hurt her badly, she froze her bedroom door shut to keep him out, stuffed some clothes in a bag and jumped out her bedroom window. Doctor Schuester found her two miles from home, and offered to take her to a school where she'd be accepted. Where no one would hit her anymore. So she went." It took a great effort, but she sat up in bed and pulled her knees to her chest, rocking slowly. "Sorry," she whispered after a moment. "Probably more than you wanted to know."

Rachel listened to the story and locked her jaw, gripping her chair tightly. She couldn't believe the girl's own family would provide punishment for something uncontrollable. Her own fathers still loved her even after what she'd done. It was inconceivable to think of them resenting or abusing her. She'd left them at a young age, but if she were to ever go back she didn't feel they would turn her away. Looking at Quinn, the brunette heart clenched in pain. It was no wonder the blonde had such strong defenses.

She knew that people could be cruel. She'd seen and met enough that opened her eyes. Rachel was not naive to intolerance. Rachel just never thought parents could despise their own flesh and blood. She supposed she was lucky that her fathers had loved her through everything. "My gift manifested very young, but it never became a problem until I was eight..." she didn't want to say anymore than that. "I'm so sorry you ever had to go through something like that, but I am glad you were able to find this place."

Puck finally reached the door to Rachel's room, having hauled ass to get there after getting her email. He had no idea what was going on, and Rachel had tried her best not to make it sound serious, but to him, it did anyway. Quinn was sick, and he had to help her.

He was slightly out of breath when he knocked on the door and announced "S'me. Le'me in."

Rachel heard the knock at the door and stood from her perch on her desk chair. She turned to Quinn and gave a sheepish look. "I hope you don't mind. I told Noah he could come by to try to heal you. I figured you wouldn't want to be stuck here all day," she explained, moving to the door to open it for the boy.

A tired smile adorned her face as she opened the door and stepped aside for Noah to enter. "Hello, Noah. Come in. I'm actually going to shower and change while you see what you can do for Quinn. If you are able to make her feel better, you both do not need to wait around for me to come out. I don't want to hold either of you up," she nodded to both of her guests and made her way to the bathroom, grabbing some fresh clothes on the way.

Quinn bit her lip, suddenly worried, and called after Rachel. "You're staying, though, right?" Surely the brunette wasn't still planning on leaving, not after she'd bared her soul like that.

She turned to Noah and mustered the best smile she could manage under the circumstances. "Hey."

Puck frowned at Rachel when she opened the door. She really didn't look too well. "Okay," he agreed, as she disappeared into the bathroom.

He turned to Quinn and smiled back at her in relief when it appeared that there was nothing _too_ serious going on with her. "Thank God," he said. "When Rachel said I should come heal your "mental exhaustion", I was having awful visions of..." Well what _he'd_ been like after healing Finn last year. There'd been need for all kinds of tubes, and makeshift drips... It had been bad, and he was glad that wasn't the case here. "... Well, I'm glad it's nothing that bad." He said, walking over to her.

"No, it's not bad," Quinn promised. "I don't even know - can you even heal this?" She didn't want to share the whole story - it wasn't hers to tell, and she wasn't going to say anything about Rachel trying to leave. "Rachel and I were talking last night, and I kinda grabbed her hand without thinking about it. I got a pretty solid kick from her power, and it sort of knocked me flat. Feels a lot like getting hit by a truck, as it turns out."

"Honestly? Not too sure. I never have before, but in theory, it should work. All my power does is speed up any process that the body would go through on its own, so I don't see why not." He shrugged and sat down on the edge of the bed. "We got nothing to lose by trying, 'cept a couple minutes of my time."

"Note to self: Try not to touch Rachel, as much" he thought, aloud. "Well that's gonna make training difficult..."

Rachel stayed quiet in regards to Quinn's question, closing the door behind her. She leaned against it for a moment trying to curb her own exhaustion and pushed off to eventually begin removing her clothing and getting the shower set. Her entire body ached, but she just gritted her teeth and slowly undressed. She avoided looking in the mirror and got into the shower, allowing the warm water to soothe her somewhat.

Quinn offered her hand. "It's been a while since you had to do this for me. What's better? If it hurts all over, is it easiest just to take my hand?"

She'd heard the bathroom door close, and worry was tearing at her. She thought she'd gotten through. She'd lowered all of her walls, more than she had since that one night with Puck, and was Rachel still going to walk away from her? It wasn't fair. She'd thought they were getting close to at least being friends.

"Yeah," he said taking her hand. "It has... I dunno, lets try this," he said, putting his other hand on her forehead. "It's gonna feel really weird. Just relax."

He closed his eyes and focused his energy through both hands.

Rachel stood under the shower for a little while just letting the warmth wash over her. Eventually she realized she needed to wash up and get out so she grabbed her soap and shampoo and cleaned herself. It took longer than usual due to her aches and pains, but she managed to get clean and finally turned off the shower. Feeling around for her towel, she grabbed it off of the rack and dried her body first before toweling her hair.

It took her a moment to poise herself to begin dressing and she slowly got dressed for the day. Taking a seat on the toilet, Rachel held her head in her hands and tried to shake off the images from last night as well as the fatigue. She didn't know if she should stay in the bathroom until Puck and Quinn left. It seemed like her future was being weighed on her current decisions.

Quinn stiffened. She didn't know whether it was what Puck was doing, or some delayed effect from the night before, but she found herself back in Rachel's memories, the ones she'd managed to absorb through their link before it was severed. She didn't want to explain that to him, though, so she bit down on her lip and hoped he'd think it was just the effects of his healing.

She shut her eyes and leaned back, letting both his energy and Rachel's memories wash over her.

This had never happened before. It was like some kind of reflux of energy, coming from Quinn. But it wasn't quite that, it wasn't _his_ energy he could feel, and somehow he knew it wasn't hers either.

He pulled his hands away, like her skin was burning him. "What the..."

Quinn jerked back, gasping. "Sorry," she said breathlessly. She wasn't sure what had happened, but she imagined it was related somehow to Rachel's memories - the ones that were washing over her even now.

"It's... It's okay," he hesitated, before reaching back out and placing a hand on her arm. "It's okay... What _was_ that?"

She wasn't sure how much she should say. "I think it's just...aftershocks," was the only way she could put it. "Maybe you can't heal this. I don't get how it all works. But as long as I can get back to my room, I'll be fine. I just want to make sure Rachel's okay before we leave."

Rachel stayed quiet in the bathroom, but eventually shook her head and stood with a slight sway. She gripped the counter to steady herself and then placed the towel back on the rack to dry, combing out her hair quickly and brushing her teeth. She knew she couldn't hide away forever and Rachel Berry didn't cower for anything. She stood tall and faced things head on and that's what she would do in this moment.

The brunette quietly opened the door and leaned against the frame, arms and feet crossed to watch Quinn and Puck. Her face was set in stone and her stoic demeanor was back in place.

"I dunno... I _think_ I felt it working, before I got distracted by whatever the hell that was," he frowned, reaching up to touch his hand to her cheek. He couldn't tell whether she _looked_ any better or not. "How do you feel?" he asked softly, not realizing Rachel was standing behind him.

"Yeah, we can check on her. I'd try to heal her too, but I don't really think it'll work on her, after all," he said, feeling useless.

"Kinda woozy still, but a bit less sore," she stretched experimentally, catching sight of Rachel as she did. She thought frantically, trying to come up with a way to ask what she needed to without giving anything away to Puck. If Rachel was going to leave, Quinn wasn't going to rat her out.

"So," she addressed the other girl over Puck's head, "_am_ going to see you later? I'd really like to."

Frowning, Rachel raised an eyebrow at Quinn. She wasn't really sure how to respond, but she could feel how sore she was from the previous night and perhaps getting rest during the day would make her feel better. As long as she stayed isolated from the other students at the school, there was no harm in staying a little bit longer. At least enough so that she could rest up and head out at nighttime like originally planned.

The brunette offered Quinn a small nod. It wasn't a lie. She would be there until late that night so if the blonde happened by later, she would still be around. Seeing Puck trying to heal the other girl just weighed more guilt on her shoulders. It cemented the fact that she didn't belong at the school. She wasn't really sure where she belonged anymore, but it certainly wasn't there.

"Okay," he said, as he stroked her face then dropped his hand to the bed, realizing that Rachel was there. There was no way he was going let her see that he actually cared about anyone.

Quinn had to do her best not to flinch from the touch - the secret she was carrying, she knew, would mean that he wouldn't touch her like that again. So she enjoyed it, instead, until he self-consciously dropped his hand.

Rachel's nod was a relief - she needed to see her again.

Looking between her two guests, Rachel gaze curiously at their demeanor. "Was Noah able to heal you properly? I don't want you to be stuck in my stuffy room all day if it's unnecessary. I'm sure you have better things to be spending your time completing," she said softly, leaning her head lightly against the frame. She was worried about the other girl. Even though her own body was in need of some down time, she was more focused on Quinn.

"Not totally," Quinn admitted. "But I'll live, I'm sure. And I'll let you have your room back." She looked over at Puck. "Can you - would you mind giving me a hand? I'm not, uh, totally sure I can stand up and make it all the way back to my room by myself yet."

Puck frowned at her statement. He didn't mind helping her, in the slightest, but he'd hoped that she was feeling a little better than she clearly was. It really wasn't that far to her room. "Sure," he got off the bed so she could scoot to the edge of it. Although he'd actually pick her up and carry her if necessary, he wanted her to try to help herself as much as possible, first, so that he could gauge her health. He'd heal her some more, if he had to, but it had felt _really_ weird, and he didn't really want to.

She moved to the edge of the bed and stood, wobbling badly. She took a step toward the door, weaving on her feet, and nodded at Rachel. "Have a good day," she murmured. Her next step nearly toppled her, and she leaned heavily against Puck to steady herself.

Rachel frowned at Quinn's state, but said nothing more. She watched as Puck gently helped the blonde to her feet and allowed the girl to lean on him. Part of her wanted to tell Quinn to stay, but she knew it was best for the taller girl to go and rest elsewhere. Besides, she would probably end up passing out herself and her bed wasn't big enough for the both of them to bed comfortable without invading each other's space.

She worried about the other girl, but she also knew that there was history between her two guests. She didn't want to get in the middle of them. Rachel only hoped Puck wouldn't get in her face about this if he had feelings for Quinn. She had tried her best not to harm the blonde. Her best intentions never worked out in her favor though.

The world tilted alarmingly, but Quinn blinked it away and just let Puck guide her. She wasn't in much shape to do anything else, and she didn't want to tempt fate by trying. She hated to leave Rachel's room, but she'd promised she'd be there later, and Quinn knew she'd be going back. In the meantime, she'd let the other girl rest, because she wasn't in great shape either.

Puck could feel more than see how unsteady Quinn was on her feet, and walking (or whatever it would be more accurate to call what she was doing... Shuffling, maybe?) probably wasn't helping her very much.

He actually _was_ gonna have to carry her, in all practicality. "Hold still," he told her, keeping her steady with one arm and hooking the other behind her knees. He scooped her up as slowly and carefully as he could, not wanting her to be sick or anything. "S'better," he announced.

He turned around in the doorway. "Feel better, Rachel," he said, making a point of using her name. "I'll see you tomorrow. If not, I'll just assume you're still not well. No need to bother emailing or whatever."

Rachel watched Quinn falter and wanted to run to help, but she saw Puck steady the girl and them carry her. She winced slightly at how cavalier he was towards her, but she knew this was all her fault. The brunette watched Puck carry Quinn out of her room, her heart and mind both heavy with guilt and old memories. "I'll be there tomorrow," she stated, not really sure if that would be the case.

Maybe it was her punishment to stick around, at least until Puck could state his piece. Quinn meant something to the boy and Rachel felt she owed it to him to chew her out or do whatever he felt would even the score. Perhaps then her conscience would be clear. She doubted that would be the case. Closing the door behind her guests, she moved back to her bed and flopped down on top. It only took a few minutes until she felt the blackness creep over her and sleep begin to take it's toll.

Quinn didn't notice the interplay between them, just buried her head in Puck's shoulder and tried not to be sick. She felt him lay her in her bed, and that was the last she knew.

Once he got Quinn safely into her bed, Puck began the task of trying to heal the girl more fully, completely unaware that he was probably inflicting Rachel's memories on her, while she slept.

This time he forced himself to keep contact with her, although it felt like he was absorbing Quinn's fatigue, as opposed to simply getting tired from exerting the energy it was taking to heal her.

He held the connection for as long as he could, before he had to let go of her hands. He felt like he was going to pass out and had to lean back against the headboard of her bed, to avoid falling off it. He just hoped she felt at least a bit better now.

After a few minutes, he felt like he should go. He didn't want her to wake up and get weird about him still being there. He leant down and brushed a soft kiss against her forehead, feeling like a complete loser, for still being so hopelessly... just, _gone_ for her. Especially when she had made it abundantly clear that she didn't want, or need him in the slightest, anymore. She probably never even really had.

Puck gathered all of his remaining energy, and pushed himself to his feet. For a moment, he thought that he had gotten off very lightly, in all of this. He didn't feel sick, or dizzy... until he suddenly passed out. He collapsed heavily, back onto the bed, narrowly avoiding crushing the girl already lying on it.


	13. Chapter 13

Quinn wasn't stupid. Just because Rachel had promised that she'd be around later didn't mean she was going to be there all night, and Quinn wanted to make sure she reached her room before she vanished into the ether. She stood nervously in the hall and knocked on her door, hoping and praying she hadn't left it too long. She couldn't bear the thought of it. She was already rehearsing her speech in her head - the one that would convince Rachel to stay.

Rachel had rested during the day and felt much better now that she'd had time to process and quiet her mind. Her body was still slightly sore, but she could move freely without pain and it wouldn't hinder her movement when she made her way out of the school and into the night. Hearing a knock at the door, she furrowed her brows wondering who might bother her. Using her power, she lightly pushed out trying to sense the presence on the other side.

A feeling of warmth passed through her and Rachel instantly recognized who it was. Funny how the girl who controlled ice would provide such a sense of comfort. She snorted once at the thought and moved to open the door, standing with a brow raised and her arms crossed. "Can I help you, Quinn?" she asked, breezily.

The speech was gone. There was just no room in her head for it. She was desperate, and achingly lonely, and she just wanted to know that the one person who she could really talk to wasn't going to leave.

"Rachel," she began, biting her lip as she tried to put her thoughts into words. She didn't expect to be let in, and this was her last opportunity, so she was going to lay it all out now. Right here, in the hallway, through Rachel's open door. "I have nothing to give you right now. No reason you should stay, no guarantee that you'll be safe, or that everyone else will be safe, or that nothing bad will ever happen. But this girl," she stopped and shook her head, trying to fight off the urge to dissociate, "_I_," she corrected herself, "I want you to stay. I need...this girl..._fuck_!" she rubbed her temple.

"In all the time I've been here, Rachel, you're the _only_ one outside of Puck and the Doc that I've ever been able to talk about my past with. I don't know how, or why, or anything, but I can let down my walls with you. I _need_ you here, Rachel, and god, if I need to beg you on my knees," she sank to them, right there in the hall, "then that's what I'll do. _Please_ don't go. Not now."

Rachel watched Quinn listening to her speech. When the blonde got on her knees, she quickly moved to pull her up. "Christ, Quinn, get up," she grabbed the girl's hand and pulled her into the room, closing the door behind them both. "I'm not sure what to say to you. Normally, _I'm_ the dramatic one." She sighed and ran a hand through her hair standing there and shaking her head at Quinn with a smirk.

"I'm dangerous, Quinn. You've seen it yourself. What happens if I let my emotions get the best of me? It won't just be aches and pains..." she shook the images of the dead boys from her mind. "I'm usually so controlled. I haven't had that happen to me in years." She clenched her fists and looked back up at the blonde. "If I stay...you have to make me a promise then."

Quinn was emotionally exhausted, but still felt a surge of victory when Rachel pulled her to her feet. Once they were inside her room, she felt briefly hopeful that she'd made her point.

She was deathly afraid of what Rachel's price was going to be, because if it was that she stay away, that would almost be worse than if she left. To be so close to her and never...she shook her head. There was no point fixating on it yet. She nodded instead. "Of course," Quinn nodded slowly. "Whatever you need me to promise, I will."

Rachel leveled Quinn with a hard stare and set her jaw. "If that ever happens again you need to make good on your original threat," she tilted her head and gave the taller girl a cold smile. She wouldn't allow herself to harm any of the people at the school. Even when they had been rude to her, she'd only used her power to move them out of her way. It was hard enough to see Quinn in pain that afternoon, she wouldn't be able to deal with it if anything worse ever happened.

Even now, with the taller girl being close by she felt a slight buzz. When she'd felt the warmth of her presence, there was an urge for her to do something. What, she didn't know, but it scared her and she wasn't willing to take chances. She always had back up plans and this was what she had in this case.

She hated herself for having ever spoken the words in the first place, having ever been so horrible to this girl, this girl that now seemed to mean so much to her, but she nodded agreement. "I swear," she promised seriously. She was no stranger to guilt, and if she had to add more on by following through with an idle threat she'd made in the heat of the moment, she could do that.

Without invitation, she stumbled backward until she was sitting on the edge of Rachel's bed. "Thank you," she whispered. "Just - thank you, Rachel. I can't even tell you what - what it means to me. Thank you for staying."

Rachel just shrugged and scratched her head. "Well, with the way you've been I don't think I'd get very far without you coming after me or wrapping around my legs in protest of some sort," she chuckled lightly. "How are you feeling? Will you be okay to go back to class tomorrow?" She hoped that Puck had been able to help Quinn enough that she was able to rest off the fatigue.

"I apologize again for putting you in such a state. Now you know to refrain from...contact," she said offering an apologetic smile. "At least when I'm like that. I don't believe it will happen again though. I usually avoid company when I'm having a rough night. I'd like to think I keep most of my negative emotions in check."

"You may be right," Quinn chuckled. "I was just about ready to resort to that if I had to. I hoped it wouldn't come to that, though." She met Rachel's gaze. "Better - not a hundred percent, but I'm sure I can manage classes. I won't be training, but sitting in a desk for a few hours, I can do. And please - don't apologize. As I remember it, I grabbed _you_."

"And I hope," she hesitated, "I mean, I don't get how your power works or anything, but I hope you know you don't have to be alone. If you're having a bad night, even if you don't think it's safe for me to be in the same room, you can call me. I'll talk, or text, or whatever. Just...you're not alone, don't feel like you have to be." She wondered if she'd said too much, but she didn't want to take any of it back now either.

"You're stubborn, Quinn Fabray. I haven't met someone quite like you before. You might even give me a run for my money in that department," she leaned against her wall casually and crossed her arms. "I hope it won't take you too long to recover properly." She looked at Quinn curiously for a moment. "You know for someone who tries to paint herself as the bitch, you might want to work on that a bit more," she stated, half-smiling.

Listening to the blonde speaking about her power, she looked to her floor with a frown. "I appreciate you reaching out, but I won't be putting you in that position again. Talking from a safe distance perhaps, but not face to face. It's much too dangerous," she shook her head gently.

Quinn chuckled softly. "Yeah, I imagine I could give most people a run for their money in the stubbornness department. But most people aren't worth the effort. It's easier to walk away." She sat back, looking up at where Rachel was standing. "But I've never met anyone quite like you before either." She wasn't sure why saying that made her blush, but she wasn't going to stop and examine it. "And I'm still a bitch," she said, gnawing at her bottom lip, "I'm just making an exception in your case."

"I'll be fine by the morning, I'm sure," she promised. She sighed softly, a bit frustrated. "I know you think you need to protect me from you," she looked at the brunette, "but what happened last night - I've been through worse - a lot worse. I can take it. And if it's what you need, if it'll ever help, I'll do it again. In a heartbeat. But I'll let you make that call, I'll never force myself into your personal space that way again unless it's...to fulfill the promise I made you."

She looked for, and found, a pad of paper and a pen on the desk at the foot of Rachel's bed. "There," she said as she scribbled, "is my cell number. If you're feeling alone, if you need someone to talk to on a bad night, or hell, if you just want to play words with friends or something, use it."

Eyeing Quinn for a moment, Rachel smirked and scoffed. "Sure you are. You were on your knees begging, Fabray. The rest of the school might think you're a bitch, but I know that's far from the truth. Don't worry though. Your secret is safe with me," she smiled and winked at her companion. She frowned when the blonde mentioned going to worse in her past. "Look, even if you have...I don't want to be the one putting you through it again. You may be willing to put yourself on the line, but I couldn't handle it if I ever hurt you. Really hurt you."

She sighed and looked down before raising her head to give Quinn a sheepish, embarrassed smile. "Um...do you, maybe...have a phone in your room? I don't...I've never had a cell phone," she stumbled out. Living on the streets had never leant itself to owning a phone. No permanent address made it hard to get monthly bills. She blushed at her own admission, picking at her sweater.

Quinn sniffled, rubbing at her eyes with the back of her hand. She didn't really have a comeback for that one - Rachel really had seen through her, seen right to the core of her that she kept hidden. "Thanks," she settled for instead, smiling gratefully. "If it's a choice between me getting hurt and you, though," she went on, more quietly, "then I'd rather you hurt me."

She blinked with surprise, but gave Rachel another smile. "Of course," she scribbled another number down. "But you can call my cell from your room phone if you need to, it's not long distance or anything. And if you want," she offered nervously, "we can get you a pre-paid cell. Just so you can call whenever you need something, even if you're not in your room."

Rachel just smiled and nodded gently. "You're welcome, Quinn. As brave as you are, I still will not put you in jeopardy. Besides, it hasn't happened to me in ages and I will be extremely vigilant in avoiding situations that produce those kinds of results," she explained thoughtfully.

"Thank you for your information. I will keep it in mind should I ever need to contact someone for any reason," she stepped over to the paper and posted it up on her cork board. "I really don't have the money for a cell phone. Dr. Schuester is allowing me here of his own goodwill and I do not wish to ask for more than has already been given to me."

Quinn returned her smile gratefully. She knew, even if she couldn't explain how, that her secret really was safe with the other girl. That she wouldn't use it against her. It was an extraordinary feeling. "Okay," she agreed, nodding slowly. "But if it ever comes to that - I'm here. Just know that. And I'll leave the subject alone now," she promised.

"You're welcome," her grin was wide and genuine. "And I mean it, call me anytime." She nodded seriously as Rachel explained her situation. "Yeah - I know what you mean. I only had a bag of clothes and forty bucks when he picked me up." She bit her lip, a bit worried about her next offer. "Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not trying to treat you like a charity case or anything - but San's got an old prepaid phone. I could get her to throw twenty on it and pay her back later, and then at least you'd have something in case of emergencies? I don't like the thought of you not being able to call someone."

Rachel sat down on her desk chair and turned towards Quinn. "I know you are and I thank you for that. Not many people would be so willing to jump into the fire so easily, but you are being very kind. I would never ask it of you though," she smiled, but shook her head to cement her stance on the matter. If anyone would get hurt it would be her. She would not bring anyone else into her own personal problems.

Rachel chuckled a little and displayed her first warm smile to her companion. "That's forty dollars more than I had. Thank you for offering me another method of communication, but I don't like owing money and I don't have any means of making any right now. If I end up in a situation that would be considered an emergency, it's probably not something I want anyone around for," she stated, raising an eyebrow.

"You're welcome," Quinn nodded, but didn't add anything else. She'd promised to leave the subject alone, after all - which didn't mean that if she ever got wind that Rachel needed her to do what she'd offered, she wouldn't be there in a heartbeat all the same.

"Well, technically I stole the forty dollars from my mom's room, so it wasn't really mine, but close enough," she smiled back. "And who said anything about you paying for it? I said _I'd_ pay San back, not you. But there's more than one kind of emergency - even if you're just calling to say 'hey, come outside and look at this shooting star' or something. I'd just," she blushed a little, "I'd feel a little better if I knew you had one."

Rachel was ready to argue the matter, but she realized that this was Quinn's stubborn streak shining through again. She figured she'd let the blonde have this one since it was such a minor matter. "If you'd really feel better with me having a cellular telephone, then I won't argue with you anymore. I _will_ find a way to pay you back for it though," she said resolutely.

The shiver that went through her at Rachel's response didn't make sense to her, but she shook it off and extended her hand for a joking handshake. "Deal," she nodded. "And thank you," the last words were more quiet. "Not just for that," it was the closest she could come to saying: _Thank you for knowing me. Thank you for understanding me. For making it safe to stop being defensive._

Rachel looked at Quinn's outstretched hand and hesitated for only a moment before taking it in her own. She ignored the buzzing in her head and along her skin, clamping down on the urge to feel that warmth again and instead shaking the girl's hand as she was supposed to do. "You are always welcome," she stared into the blonde. She knew what it was like to feel isolated and to have to hold everything in. The brunette was glad that Quinn trusted her, but she was also worried that she would eventually let her friend down.

Quinn met Rachel's gaze unflinchingly, revelling in the warmth of her hand. The touch felt good - even better than she'd expected it to. She hoped that she was communicating all that she needed to say with her eyes, with the way she gently squeezed Rachel's hand.

"Well," she said finally, releasing her hand and feeling an immediate urge to take it back again, "I should probably let you get some sleep, I'm sure you could use it too." She really didn't want to leave, but she didn't want to seem clingy, either.

A part of Rachel almost wanted to say no to Quinn, to tell her to stay for a while but that was dangerous territory to get into and she needed to let the blonde go. With a nod, she closed her eyes and pushed the strange feelings away and waited for her friend to get up so that she could see her out. "Good luck in your classes tomorrow and I hope you are well enough to train soon," she smiled.

She was almost disappointed that Rachel didn't ask her not to leave, but again, she couldn't explain why that was. It was a strange feeling, and a little bit scary, but it wasn't _bad_, just inexplicable. She stood and stretched. "Thank you," she said, giving Rachel her best smile. "I'm sure I will be. And I hope your classes go well too. I'll see you soon?" Impulsively (which was rare for Quinn, she didn't do impulsive things often) she pulled a bracelet (a cheap gumball-machine looking thing) off of her wrist and slid it onto Rachel's.

"There," she grinned. "Now you won't forget to call me, or come hang out, or something."

Rachel's eyes lingered on Quinn as she got up to stretch and head for the door. She quickly caught herself and looked down at her hands. "I'll be around so I'm sure you'll see me sometime or another," she stood and shrugged, opening her door to see the blonde out. Quinn surprised her with the bracelet, but she only looked at it and smiled back, nodding in confirmation. "I won't forget."

She knew she wouldn't easily forget the girl in front of her. Not on her life considering the things she felt in Quinn's presence. Whether she would make the effort to call was another matter entirely. While she liked the blonde, the strange feelings worried her. Rachel's lack of control around the taller girl could spell disaster and she didn't need more guilt weighing her down. She wouldn't say anything though. Besides, Quinn had her own issues with Puck that needed to be handled and perhaps her friend would forget about her once those surfaced. A part of her hoped the blonde would and yet another part just wanted Quinn to save her from herself.

Quinn hoped the casual tone in Rachel's voice was a front, because if the brunette didn't feel as..._committed_ to her, she didn't even want to think about that. She smiled all the same, though. "Have a good night, Rach. I'll see you soon."

She stepped out into the hallway and gave a little wave before turning away, only reluctantly tearing her gaze from the smaller girl.

"You as well, Quinn. Get some rest," Rachel said softly and she gave her own wave back. She watched the blonde head back down the hallway, feeling her mind clear and she frowned. She should be relieved that there was no longer any urge under the surface, but it was almost as if she felt _empty_. Shaking those thoughts away, the brunette headed back into her room to lay down and try to sleep away all of her troubled thoughts and memories.


	14. Chapter 14

Santana's birthday party had gone well - for most of them. Quinn, for her part, had spent the majority of it getting progressively drunker. By the time everyone (including Finn, for some reason) had left, reducing the party's guests to just herself and Puck (well, and Sam, but he was passed right out on his bed and in no condition to overhear anything that happened), she was well past her limit. She looked at him, her head tilted, and came to a decision. Rachel had been right. He needed to hear it, and he needed to hear it from her. It didn't stop her stomach from doing crazy loop-the-loops, or the tears from beginnning to pool in her eyes. She stood, staggering a little, and wandered over to where he was staring blankly at an empty bottle of vodka.

"Noah," he used his real name, trying to make sure she had his attention. "We need - can we talk?"

Puck wasn't _horribly_ drunk. He was at the stage _right_ before that, where he was very hyperactive, and also quite confused by... well, everything. He was wondering idly whether this was how Finn felt all of the time, when Quinn spoke. He turned to her, with a bright smile that would never cross his face, while sober. "Yes, Quinny-quinny-quin-quinn-quinn?" He replied, clumsily putting the empty bottle down so that it wobbled precariously, on the edge of the table, before righting itself, and bounding over to her.

Quinn took his hand. "You need to come and sit down, Noah, okay?" She just hoped what she was going to say would sink in. She hadn't realized how drunk he was, and this hyperactive version of him...she wasn't sure it would get through to him. But she had to try. She might never be this brave again.

She led him to the couch, easing him down onto one cushion, and sat down beside him, taking his hand. "I need to explain to you - I need to tell you why I disappeared. But I need to know you're listening. I can only do this once. Are you understanding me, Noah?"

Puck's face fell, but he nodded, as Quinn pushed him down onto the couch. "M'liss'nin, Q," he slurred, looking at her seriously. The expression didn't look right on his face, so soon after he'd been all giddy and full of energy.

She didn't know whether he'd remember any of this in the morning, but she pressed on all the same. She needed this out in the open. "Do you remember...that night?" she hoped she didn't need to elaborate. "We weren't...uhm, we weren't careful. That night."

She knew he was horribly wasted, but she prayed she wouldn't need to spell it out for him, that he'd make the cognitive leap required.

Puck frowned in confusion. Not at what she was talking about, but at the fact she'd asked whether he actually remembered the only time he'd ever made love with anyone. He remembered every last thing about it, even in his less-than-sober state. "Yeah... I 'member. We had other things on our minds." He shrugged, not understanding what she was getting at, right away.

He continued to try and figure out why she'd brought that up, while he waited for her to continue. After quite a few long seconds of silence, something finally clicked in his brain, and his eyes went wide.

She saw the moment when it hit him, and she nodded slowly, confirming what he was thinking. "Yes," she whispered with tears in her eyes. "Yes."

His stomach gave a violent lurch, but he clamped down against the need to be sick. Puck closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He clutched Quinn's hand tighter, trying to anchor himself to her, to _anything_.

He forced his eyes open, and when he did, there were tears gathering in them. "W-why... Why did you leave? What happened? Did you..." He railed off, unable to ask her what happened to the baby.

Quinn clutched his hand equally hard back, struggling to keep any kind of composure. She was so close to losing it. And she needed to finish explaining first.

"Because I c-couldn't," her voice hitched. "I was sixteen years old, Noah. I couldn't have a baby. I couldn't...I just c-couldn't. So the Doc - he helped me find someone. Someone who could t-take her. I never told him whose it was, just that I couldn't keep it."

She stifled a sob. "I'm sorry I left," she whispered. "I'm sorry I was scared, Noah. But I couldn't - I couldn't stay. I couldn't have a baby, I couldn't be a mom. I'm s-sorry," she started to cry in earnest, and she couldn't hold it in any longer.

It didn't occur to Puck, in his shock, to be angry with the sobbing girl, sitting next to him. It hadn't registered, that _she_ had knowingly taken a child that should have been just as much his, away from him, forever. Instead, he focused his anger on his so-called "father".

"He's a _telepath_ Quinny," he said, softly. His true feelings, only reflected in the set of his clenched jaw. "He _knew_... This whole time, he lied to me." The tears that had been gathering, finally started to fall down his cheeks. It seemed that pain of the deceit, was the thing that flipped the switch. "Every day, for _months_, I asked him - _begged_ him - to tell me where you were, so that I could go find you... And he lied... Every day since, by saying nothing... I-I don't... I don't understand." He didn't know what to do with the information, that he'd been completely betrayed by the nearest thing to family, that he had.

He pulled the crying blonde closer and let her cry into the fabric of his shirt. "Ssshh..." He began rubbing soothing circles on her back. "It's ok." Apart from his anger at being lied to, Puck felt completely numb. He didn't know how to make it feel real. Then it hit him. Quinn had said _her_. The baby was a girl. He had a _daughter_, or at least he should have had a daughter... Then the _loss_ kicked in.

"If he knew," she conceded in short breaths, "and I don't know if he read me or not, then he only did it because I told him I didn't want to get found. Please," she begged, "don't be too hard on him. I was never going to tell - I bottled it all up inside, and I was going to keep it there - but I couldn't anymore. It's not his fault, it's mine."

She didn't know how she'd managed that many words around her tears, but she let him pull her close, her tears wetting his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she repeated, for want of anything more constructive. "I'm so sorry."

"Even if he didn't read you…" he said slowly. "He _had_ to know. On some level, he knew. I can't... I can't forgive him for that." He shook his head.

"It's ok," he repeated. "It'll be okay." He wasn't even sure who he was trying to reassure with his words, as he held her close, trying to stop his own tears, with no success.

This hadn't gone the way she was expecting it to. He was supposed to be mad at _her_, she hadn't been trying to get him angry with his father. But she didn't know how to help that, so she just molded herself to his side. The tears weren't stopping - they felt like they might never stop - but at least it was in the open now. She didn't have to carry the secret anymore. "I gave her a name," she whispered, not sure whether he wanted to know that or not, but trying to share everything with him now.

"Mmm?" The questioning noise was all he could get out, to ask Quinn the name of the child. Part of him wasn't sure that he _did_ want to know. That it would bring the reality of what he could never have, far too close. But the idea of never knowing _anything_ about her, felt hopeless, somehow. He couldn't help but wonder a multitude of other things about her, things that he _couldn't_ know exactly. He wanted to know what she looked like, whether she had Quinn's nose, his eyes, whether she was fair like her mother, or had a more olive skin tone, like her father. Neither of them would ever know what she'd look like as she grew and changed. They'd never know what her voice would sound like, or her laugh. Would she take after either of them, as far as her personality was concerned, or would she be more like whoever Quinn had given her to? And what were they like? He wanted to know what kind of people were raising their baby. He trusted Quinn to have made sure they were suitable parents, but that didn't help him be any less worried about it.

"I named her Beth. It was the only thing - the only part of me I could leave with her. Her name," Quinn cried bitter tears. "I only saw her once." She knew it wasn't fair to complain to _Noah_ of all people, but she was drunk and feeling melancholy and bitter. Wondering, as she had since the first day, whether she'd done the right thing. She wasn't looking for validation, or acceptance, just...someone to listen. Someone who'd understand.

"Beth," he repeated quietly, as if testing the name out. He liked that name. He liked having something to refer to her as, other than "the baby", even in his head.

_Only saw her once_? He wasn't certain what she wanted from him. Sympathy? Or was she _trying_ to rub it in, that he'd never gotten to see the only good thing he'd ever done, and never would? Was him yelling at her going to make her feel better? Either way, he wasn't going to indulge her. He didn't feel capable of either thing, right then. So he just sat there, continuing to cry a steady stream of pained tears, and clinging to her, trying to wring whatever comfort he could from the embrace.

She loved how it sounded from his mouth. Suddenly everything she'd decided all those months ago seemed poorly thought-out, and she was reminded why she hadn't come to him in the first place. It would have been too easy to fall into a trap, to be convinced that they could raise a child together, have that kind of life, when they (or at least she) weren't prepared for that.

She didn't have anything more to say, anything further to explain why she'd done what she'd done. She only pulled herself closer to him, crying softly and continuously against his chest.

He cried silent tears, until there were none left to cry, and even then, he sat there just sobbing softly for a while, his face buried Quinn's hair. He was exhausted, feeling like there was _nothing_ left in him, he was completely empty. Hollow. The crying had been strangely soothing, but now it had stopped, he just felt lost, and somehow alone, even though Quinn was still right there.

Quinn lay there, feeling like they were a million miles apart. She knew she'd just fractured them, probably beyond repair, but she still felt a sense of relief that she'd finally got things out in the open. No matter what it cost her, at least there would be no more secrets.

"This sucks," he mumbled, not moving. He felt like if he did, it would signal the start of trying to do something terribly difficult. _Carrying on_.

"Yeah," she agreed in a whisper. "It really does." She made no effort to get up. It would feel a lot like goodbye, she knew, and she wasn't ready for that yet.

Puck tried, but failed to suppress a yawn. He was terrified of giving her an excuse to leave, but he'd inadvertently gone and done just that. She was going to get up and walk out of the room, taking every good thing he'd ever felt about her, with her. Then the next time he saw, or even thought about her, all he'd feel was bitterness and anger, maybe even hatred. He didn't know _how_ he knew this, but he did. The idea actually felt a little like déjà vu, but he couldn't quite put his finger on why.

He locked his arms, firmly but gently behind Quinn's back, not permitting her to go anywhere. Five more minutes. He just wanted five more minutes before he had to let go. He began to tremble with the effort it took, not to cry again. He was losing everybody that he loved in the space of a single conversation; a daughter he hadn't known about until it was far too late, the man who'd raised him, and now Quinn. So this wasn't too much to ask, was it? Just a little longer? He was trying to let his actions speak for him, to plead her not to go just yet. But he was pretty sure that the words "don't leave me, Quinny... Please?" had escaped his lips, at some point. Even if they were barely audible.

She wasn't sure whether she'd heard him right - or even if he'd spoken, if she were honest - but the arms locked around her left little doubt about what he wanted. And she had no difficulty obliging him. She was in no shape to leave, and she knew that when she did things would never be the same. And so she simply molded herself to him, whispering softly in his ear. "I'm not leaving," she promised. "I'm still here."

The realization that he'd just lied to himself, surprised him more than it should have. Five minutes wasn't enough. But it had to be. He couldn't keep her here forever, no matter how much he wanted to. So, he mentally set a timer and blinked away tears, as he felt the clock running down on him, way too quickly.

She didn't think there was anything left to say - nothing she could do to make things better. And so she held him just as tightly, praying for something that would ease the hurt.

It seemed like only _seconds_ had passed, but Puck knew the time he'd allotted himself was just about up. He forced himself to loosen his grip on Quinn, but kept his arms resting gently against her back. He hoped that she understood that she was now free to leave whenever she wanted, but also that he didn't want her to want to leave. That while she was still there, he could and would keep loving her.

It dawned on him that at some point they'd somehow moved, so that he was resting comfortably back on the couch cushions, and he could easily pull off pretending to be asleep. That way, he wouldn't have to watch the most important person in his life, walk out of it forever. But he quickly shook that idea off. Last time, he really had been asleep when she'd packed her things and walked out of the front door, in the early hours of the morning. This time, he was going to get to say what he would have wanted to say then, if he'd gotten a chance.

So he just stayed where he was, bracing himself for the goodbye, and waiting for Quinn's next move.

She understood that she had his permission. That she could get up, walk out, and the new phase of their lives - the one where he wouldn't even be able to look at her - could begin. And she knew it had to happen. But it didn't have to happen right this _second_, did it?

She curled herself more tightly against him, curling up and closing her eyes. Just a little while longer. She wasn't ready to be hated yet. She had enough people in her life that hated her already, she couldn't face another. Just a few more minutes was all she asked for.

Puck relaxed a little, and kissed the top of her head when it became apparent that she wasn't going anywhere with any particular urgency. He wanted to let her know that he understood.

He sighed and continued to take as much comfort from this as he could, while he had it, and try to give her some kind of comfort in return.

Between the alcohol in her system and the comfort and familiarity of the position they were in, Quinn found herself drifting in a place that wasn't quite sleep, but wasn't consciousness by any stretch. She began to cry again, not wracking sobs but just silent tears that slipped down her cheeks unnoticed. "Don't," she mumbled. "Please."

He didn't understand her, but talking wasn't really at the top of his list of things to do, right now. He just mumbled some sort of compliant sound to placate her.

"Just..." it came out as a breathy sigh, "don't hate me forever." She didn't even know she was talking, really, still drifting in that in-between place she occupied.

What was he supposed to say to that? _I'll try not to?_ No. He could lie to her, for her own good. "Not forever," he whispered. Hell, it might even be true... But he wasnt sure.

"Thank you," she sighed, unconsciousness claiming her now his words had eased her mind. She hadn't meant to fall asleep - it was the last thing she'd had in mind - but she was drunk, sad and tired, and she couldn't keep herself from drifting off.

Was she... was she _asleep?_ He waited a while, until her breathing started to even out, and he was sure that she wouldn't just leave as soon as_ he_ fell asleep, before letting himself start to drift. "Night Quinny. Love you," he whispered, before following her into an exhausted slumber.


	15. Chapter 15

Sam woke up feeling like someone had hit him in the back of the head with a sledgehammer. The second thing he noticed was that he was lying on a bed - Puck's bed - and he couldn't remember why he was there. Moving his head as little as possible, he felt around, ascertaining that he was indeed alone. Then where was his roommate? Had he taken the couch last night? Why couldn't he remember what happened?

He forced himself to move enough to survey the room, and find Puck. The place was an absolute_ mess, _and he found Puck fast asleep on the couch with Quinn - who was equally out of it - lying against his chest. _Great. Just great._

Quinn jerked awake, trying to remember where she was. The motion nearly made her sick, and she had to close her eyes and breathe deeply to keep from being sick on the floor. But whose floor _was_ it? She took sudden notice of the warm body she was pressed against and gasped as the previous night came back to her. She had to get out. He was going to hate her when he woke up, and she couldn't face that right now.

Staggering up from the couch, she stooped down to grab her purse from the floor and stumbled toward the door. She didn't notice Sam was awake until she nearly fell on him and righted herself with a groan. "Sorry," she whispered, trying for the door again.

Puck suddenly felt cold. Very cold, and that's what made him begin to stir. Then he heard a noise, followed by Quinn's voice, and his eyes snapped open. He blinked a few times, trying to get the room into focus. When he did, he realized what was going on. _Trying to sneak out? That's becoming a thing for you, isn't it?_ he accused, even if it was only in his mind.

He made himself sit up, to look at her properly, still not registering Sam's consciousness. "Where you goin?" he mumbled.

_Son of a_ bitch, she thought, turning around. "Sorry," she whispered. "I just thought it'd be easier this way. You can hate me after I'm gone. I just can't handle you doing it while I'm still in the room."

He shook his head and got to his feet, thankful that he seemed to be immune to hangovers. "That starts when you walk out that door," he informed her, like that was just how it worked, and he was passing on the knowledge. "Don't be in such a hurry for that to happen, ok?"

"S'ok" Sam told Quinn when she apologized to him.

The next thing he knew, he found himself smack, bang in the middle of some completely awkward "morning after scene", with Quinn being busted trying to sneak out whilst Puck was still sleeping. _Probably in an effort to avoid this kinda thing_ he mused.

His head was fuzzy and his limbs felt heavy, so he didn't really want to move, if he could help it. He pulled the pillow over his head to block out the morning light and Puck's way-too-loud voice. Why was he speaking at that volume, anyway? Wasn't his head hurting too? At least Quinn had the common decency to whisper.

He didn't even have the slightest clue what the problem was. It didn't look like they'd had drunken sex last night - thank you, God - or anything, considering they were both fully clothed when he'd woken up. As far as he knew they'd passed out whilst... well, cuddling - he didn't really have a better term for what they'd obviously been up to. And why was he going to hate her when she left the room? It was all very strange. But that said - and he could be wrong. He didn't really know Quinn _at all_, of course - those two didn't seem to have a relationship that he could really compare to any he'd seen before, anyway. She'd spent most of the previous night flicking between casting nervous glances at Puck, and acting like she didn't know he was even there. He, on the other hand, had done nothing but stare in a way that could only be described as _longingly_ in Quinn's direction, until someone busted him doing it. They'd barely spoken to one another, all night. It was _strange_.

All of this thinking was making his head hurt worse. Or it could just have been the fact that he was, you know, _alive_... barely.

"I can't stay forever," Quinn whispered. "If you're going to hate me, we should just get it over with. You can join the club." She looked apologetically at Sam, sorry that he'd woken in time to see this.

Puck snapped his head to the left to look at the bed, when Sam moved abruptly. He hadn't realized he was awake. "Mornin' Sammy," he said, before continuing the conversation, trying to ignore his presence.

"I know that." It came out as a resigned sigh. "I know you can't. But..." His eyes wandered, unbidden, back to Sam. This was _so_ uncomfortable. He pushed on anyway. "But there are things that I need to make sure you know... before... I might not... Oh, for fuck's sake!" he scrubbed a frustrated and over his face. This was difficult enough, and while he knew this wasn't Sam's fault, he just wanted him to go away.

Sam hauled himself to his feet, swaying slightly, until the room stopped spinning. "I'm gonna shower... I feel gross," he mumbled, staggering to the bathroom and shutting the door behind him, flinching at the noise.

"Feel better, Sam," Quinn murmured. She wasn't sure when she'd see the other boy again, and she only hoped he'd at least think well of her. She returned her attention to Puck, leaning heavily against the wall and bowing her head as she waited for him to say what he needed to say. She knew it wouldn't be anything good, and her only hope was that she could keep herself together until she was out of the room.

Puck was silent for a long moment, trying to decide whether he even had the guts to say what he wished he could just make her know, without saying the words aloud. Putting this out there seemed too futile to be worth how painful it was going to be... But he had to do it. It was his last chance to tell her.

"I refuse to regret any of this. Not a single second." He blew out an unsteady breath, before continuing. "No matter how bad all of this hurts, how angry I am, or what defenses I put up, I need you to know that, and not forget it. It was worth it. All of it."

"I don't know," she said in a choked voice, looking down at her feet as tears rolled off her chin, "if we're ever going to be okay. If I can ever make you understand why I did...what I did. If you even want to." She swallowed a sob. "But I don't regret it either. I couldn't have had anyone better for my first time. It was the only time I ever," she couldn't swallow her sob this time, and she doubled over for a moment. "I ever felt loved. In my whole life."

She turned away, trying to collect herself enough to finish. "Thank you," she finally managed. It felt lame and incomplete, but it was all there really was to say.

"C'mere," he said, pulling her into a tight hug. "I'll _always_ love you, at least little bit, ok? No matter how mad I get, don't forget that, either." He said quietly, but with total conviction. "You take care of yourself, Fabray," He ducked his head and kissed her cheek, before stepping back slightly. If he wasn't careful, he was gonna start getting clingy again, and that would just make things so much worse.

She hugged him back, holding him like it was the last time - because as far as she knew, it might be. "I'll always love you too," she whispered in his ear. When he stepped back, she did the same, finding the door handle behind her back with one hand. "I should go," she whispered. "Be okay. Take," she all but choked on the sob that she was trying to hold in. "Take care of yourself, too."

This was it. They couldn't go back, he knew that, too much had changed. And staying where they were, was just too painful. So it was time to move forward, to deal with this as best they could. The only way he knew how to do that was to resent the hell out of the only person he still believed loved him. Well fine. He could do that.

"See you around," he said, forcing a casual tone into his words.

Quinn retreated. She'd done it before, and she'd do it again. As she all but fled the room, she mentally added him to the list - her parents, her daughter, maybe god, who knew - of people that either hated her, or were going to. She found her way back to her room, although she couldn't have explained how, and was grateful that Santana, for whatever reason, wasn't in.

If the doc had seen her right then he would have ordered counseling sessions or something, but she was doing the only thing her tired mind could think of to cope. She went into their shared closet, threw a small rack of her shoes out into the bedroom proper, and curled up in the darkest corner of it to cry. She was a bad person, she knew that - this was just another reminder she didn't need.

She was gone. Why wasn't he angry yet? It still just _hurt_. That was it, just pain. He had to get out of here. Out of the room, out of the school, out of the _state_ if he could get that far, before this hole inside him tore open so wide that it killed him. He was sure it was going to.

He turned and started digging under his bed, searching for something. He finally found a large sports bag and started throwing clothes into it.

Sam came out of the bathroom, dressed in the sweats he'd taken in with him, in case Quinn was still there, when he finished - although, he suspected she wouldn't be.

He stopped toweling his hair, when he noticed Puck packing. "Uh, dude? What's goin' on? Are you okay?"

Puck shook his head, unwilling to look away from the bag that he was packing. "Gotta go," he said, as if that explained everything.

Well this wasn't good...

"Dude, calm down. You're like, shaking." He maneuvered Puck until he was sitting on the bed and perched next to him. "_Where_ are you going? Why? What happened? Did Quinn -" He stopped suddenly, when he realized he was bombarding the already overwhelmed boy with so many questions.

"I'm sorry. Take your time," he encouraged.

Puck felt himself be pushed and pulled, until he was seated on the bed. He didn't resist, just letting Sam's hands guide him. Being made to do something, made him feel a little safer, somehow. He knew he wasn't in control right now, and letting someone else that he trusted - although he wasn't sure when_ that_ happened - take the wheel, seemed like a good option. People got hurt when he lost control. He'd learned that last year.

He couldn't tell Sam. He couldn't tell _anyone_. This was all too much, and talking about it, would be the final step to making it real. He wasn't ready.

He shook his head. "I can't be here." His voice was small, and broken. It wasn't his own.

"Hey," Sam soothed, laying a gentle hand on Puck's shoulder. "I... I don't know what's wrong, but whatever it is, we'll make it ok. I'll help you, I swear... But I can't do that, unless you tell me."

"I... I can't," he started sobbing in earnest, adding shame to the list of emotions that were threatening to destroy him. He shouldn't be crying. He should be stronger than that, but he wasn't, and he hated Sam seeing him for what he was, weak.


	16. Chapter 16

Puck was pacing the infirmary floor. He couldn't believe he'd let Santana trick him into agreeing to spill the beans. Damn her and her supportiveness. He wanted to bail, but it was too late now... Crap!

Santana entered the room slowly, her arms crossed over her chest. She had no idea what was going on, but there was something big going on. And if anyone, Puck, Quinn, whoever, needed her help then she'd be there for them.

Puck froze when he heard footsteps entering the room. He had no idea how he was going to start this conversation, so he just continued to stand there and waited for her to speak.

Santana had no idea how to start. She was completely in the dark about what was happening, and it made it difficult to know what to ask, or what to say. So she kept her opening as neutral as she could. "So...what's going on?"

"Hello, to you too," he said sarcastically, turning around to face her. "Shut the door."

Santana looked at him for a second, considering whether to object to being bossed around, but decided in the end to just do it. "There," she said, once the door was shut. "Puck, what the hell's going on?"

He still didn't know what to say, so he flopped down to sit on the nearest bed and blurted out a very frank answer to her question.

"Quinn left last year because I knocked her up. She gave the baby up for adoption. She just told me on Friday night."

"You...she...wait, _what the hell_?" was the best Santana could manage. "Is that why...I mean you two weren't even smart enough to..."

She shook her head. "Fine. Not important. What did you say to her? When she told you?"

_Thanks Santana. I wasn't kicking myself enough, about that, or anything._ He couldn't help the sarcastic thought, but at least he hadn't verbalized it.

"What did I say?" He parroted. "Not much... I mean what _was_ there to say?"

"What was there to..." she repeated, trailing off. "_Jesucristo,_ Puck, what do you even mean? The girl you slept with got pregnant, has probably been emotionally fucked up since she found out, and you're asking me what there is to say? Should I write you a _list_?" She turned away from him, breathing hard.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I know you're dealing with this the best you can. I've got no right to take it out on you like that."

"No. Go ahead," he snapped back at her. "What _was_ I supposed to say? What would you have told her, if you were me? What could I _possibly_ have said, to make things better, seeing as you clearly know everything?" He jumped down, off the bed, and resumed his pacing. He turned to glare at her. "It's easy to be judgmental, when it's _not_ happening to you, isn't it?"

"Fine!" Santana shouted. "Let's start with the obvious!" she didn't like being attacked. "How about - I love you? How about - I'm sorry I knocked you up? How about - are you okay? What can I do to help?"

She ran a hand through her hair. "I get that you're pissed. But this happened to _her_. She had to feel that life growing inside her for nine months and then give it away. As pissed and hurt and heartbroken as _you_ are, you can't possibly imagine what she's been through." She sighed, the anger going out of her. "Look - I know this has to have fucked you up, Puck. A lot. But she's got it worse. I'm not saying you've gotta be lovey-dovey with her, but you at least have to talk to her. Tell her everything's going to be okay. If she's sleeping in our closet, she's clearly not doing okay."

"I _did_ tell her that!" he told her, like it was some sort of confession that she'd dragged out of him. He hadn't wanted to tell Santana any of that. He'd asked her here to give her the facts, so she'd not go after Quinn with these questions. To make it easier on the girl. "The parts that are true, anyway."

"I can see that asking you to come here was a mistake, now," he said quietly. His words hadn't come out as cold as they should have. "I just thought you should know. I'm sorry." At least she was keeping her word and not pitying him, and he was glad that Quinn had people looking out for her.

The fight went out of her. "I'm sorry," she tried again. "I don't mean to jump down your throat. I guess I just - I _get_ Quinn, you know? After a year with her, I get how to tell that she's hurting. I have a harder time with you. You're tougher to read. But that doesn't mean you're not. And I had no right."

She shook her head. "Which parts _are_ true, exactly?"

Puck sighed. "It's not your fault. I spend at least 85% of my time acting like I don't actually have feelings than be hurt, in the fist place. So I shouldn't complain when people believe it." He shrugged and hopped back up on the bed.

"That I loved - no, _love_ - her and that I want to make all of this better for her," he sighed again.

Santana hopped up on the bed beside him and ran a hand through his hair, without any self-consciousness from her crush getting in the way. "Boys," she said musingly. "If you could actually talk about your feelings, things would go a lot easier for you."

"Knowing Quinn - well, as much as anybody knows Quinn - there's things you need to tell her, if you want to make it better for her. She needs to know you don't hate her. That you're not going to leave her. There's not much that terrifies her like the thought of being left alone by the people she cares about." She sighed. "And what about _you?_ What do you need right now?"

Puck unconciously leaned into the touch. He'd rather die than accept an offer of comfort, from most people, intentionally.

He would have rolled his eyes at Santana talking about Quinn like she knew her better than he did, if she hadn't just been trying to help. Instead he just nodded, like he was taking in the "new" information, she'd given him.

_What did he need?_ To be able to know his daughter, maybe... Or possibly a time machine. Why was she acting like she even cared what he needed? Nobody did. Not her, not Quinn, not Doc... He didn't matter to anyone, and he was just going to have to learn to deal with that. Simple.

He shook his head and stared at the floor. "Nothing... I'll be okay... I _have_ to be."

She kept her hand on his head, for want of anything else to do. When he tried to blow her off with the "I'll be okay" line, though, she shook her head.

"See above, about boys not talking about their feelings," she sighed. "Look - there's no way you're going to be able to make her feel any better if you can't even be honest with yourself. Just - pretend I'm not even in the room if that makes it easier. Just let it out."

Puck was silent for a long time, and began picking at a loose thread on his jeans. "I can't," he finally announced to the floor. "I... I don't know how." He frowned at how strange the statement was, but it was true. "I've never really been asked how I feel about stuff, before... I just... I don't know..."

He couldn't help that his own feelings were so difficult for him to vocalize. He'd just not been brought up to talk things out. Doc was great, as a principle, but as a parent... Well. Puck had learned that kind of deep-rooted repression from _someone_.

"I don't know how to put it out there... I just know that... that I'm really sad," he confessed, feeling a strong sense of shame, for telling anything about his emotional state.

Santana was patient - it was hard to watch him process and not at least try to help, but she knew this was something he'd have to get through on his own. "You'll learn," she promised. "It's hard, and not very pleasant sometimes, but you'll learn."

"There," she breathed softly, running her hand through his hair again. "That's it right there. That's so good, Puck - not that you're sad, but that you said it. This is the part of you that you need to show her. So she understands where you're coming from. How you feel. That under the anger and the hurt is just plain_ sadness_. Because if there's one thing Quinn will understand, it's being sad."

Of _course_ he was sad... How could he not be? He didn't really understand how Quinn would not know that, anyway... He wouldn't _tell_ her that, for the sake of it. It wouldn't help either of them, he was certain of it.

"But I don't wanna be sad," he told Santana. "I _wish_ I could just be angry about all this... I wish I could stop caring, ya know...? I mean, I tried. I _keep_ trying, but I can't be mad at her when it's my fault that it - the thing that makes me sad - happened in the first damn place." He scrubbed his hand over his face. "I don't know how to deal with all of this, San." Puck went back to tugging at his clothing.

"Of course you don't." Santana looked sympathetically at him. "Angry is easy. Angry feels _good_, like you're righteous. It's on the surface. Sad is hard. Sad means you have to come to terms with it. Go through the hard stuff."

She sighed, moving her hand to his back. "You'll learn," she promised. "You and Quinn, neither of you deals well with sadness. But fault doesn't enter into it - whatever happened between you involved you both, and she's got to own her share of it too."

He shook his head, adamant about holding onto his guilt. "No, she left because she didn't want me to be part of it... even though I should have been, that I'd have wanted to be. I'm not someone she wanted to share that with. _That's_ my fault," he said, completely sure of what he was saying. He was definitely capable of being angry with himself.

"I see you've got it all figured out," Santana kept her voice as jocular as possible under the circumstances. "Is that why she told you she left? Or _has_ she told you why she handled things the way she did? If she hasn't, you might want to clarify that before you go pinning it on yourself."

"She said... She just that she was scared, and wasn't ready for a kid... Which makes sense. But it doesn't explain why she didn't tell me, and let me be involved in the decision... There's no way I can _not_ take that personally." He said, frowning at the floor. "But it's fine. There's nothing I can do about it now, and you know I don't do regret," he faked nonchalance, as best he could.

"Of course you take that personally. How could you not? But you need to dig a little deeper than that, Puck. In yourself, and in her. What exactly was she scared of? And why?" She rubbed a circle on his back. "And please don't give me the no regrets speech. You're a guy, but you have more emotional depth than that."

He didn't want to do this anymore. What was she, his therapist? She was worse than Jesse. He pulled his knees up against his chest and wrapped his arms around them, in an unconscious self-comforting gesture.

"The girl I love, didn't want me around to decide whether _we_ should keep _our_ child... There's only so much digging into the reasons behind that, I can do, without totally plotzing." He stared blankly at the wall in front of them, and began rocking back and forth, not noticing that he was doing that, either.

She was out of her depth. What the hell had she been thinking, trying to play armchair shrink? She didn't know how to deal with the way he was reacting, the knees to his chest, and the rocking. If she hadn't thought it would make the situation worse, she'd have gone to get...somebody. Anybody. She was hopelessly floundering here.

"I don't think," she said softly, "that those reasons are what you think they are. I think you'll find, if you ask her, that she was so scared out of her mind that talking to you might never have occurred to her. You, of all people, know how profoundly fucked up Quinn is."

She exhaled softly. "The way I see it, Puck, you have two choices. One, you can not ask her. And then you can, forever and always, have to wonder why. It'll eat at you, but that's your choice. Your other option is to ask her. Even if you don't like the answer she gives you, at least you'll have an answer. You won't wonder forever."

Puck just nodded, and kept rocking. He was sure he was right. Nothing Santana could tell him would convince him otherwise. It was his fault that Quinn didn't want anything to do with him, and he wasn't sure that he could take finding out exactly what he'd done wrong.

She was totally at a loss now, and regretting that she'd walked into this meeting blind. At a loss for anything else to do she just looped an arm around his shoulders and sat quietly beside him.

Puck stopped rocking and leaned into her - deliberately, this time. She'd already just watched him lose his shit - several times over - and although he felt ashamed, he figured there was no more harm to be done by admitting that he needed a hug.

It was a bit of a relief when she felt him lean into her. Seeking comfort was an improvement over the repressed emotions she knew he was hiding. She didn't say anything - there wouldn't have been anything she could say that didn't sound pitying, and so she just tightened her grip around him and sat in silence.


	17. Chapter 17

In the two days that had passed since she walked out of Puck's room, Quinn had only left her closet when Santana got home. And that was only in an effort to look like she was behaving like a human being. She'd missed class, she hadn't spoken to anyone, and she'd only wanted to be alone. What changed her mind was the tan line on her wrist where her bracelet had been - it made her think of the brunette, and the fact that she felt safe around her, and it prompted her to get up and leave, to go and find her. She took a pillow with her, for no other reason than that she forgot she was holding it, and wandered to Rachel's room. She was wearing pajamas, her hair was disheveled, and she generally looked like the aftermath of a weeklong bender.

She reached Rachel's door and knocked slowly on it with her empty hand, waiting.

Rachel had only been going to class and training for the past few days. Even on the weekend, she'd avoided everyone else and just kept her nose in her books. It was easier to forget everything else that had happened when she shut away the world and focused on something stagnant. At training, she'd avoided broaching the subject of Quinn with Puck. After seeing his email and remembering how worried he had seemed for Quinn the day he'd come to her room, she didn't wish to push the subject. She let the guilt eat at her. She'd even let him get in a few shots during their hand-to-hand combat as retribution for her stupidity.

Running a hand through her hair as she studied a calculus problem, she looked to the strange bracelet on her wrist. The brunette hadn't even talked to Quinn since the other girl had been carried from her room in the arms of her mentor. What was she supposed to do? Call her and pretend like nothing had happened. No...Rachel wouldn't chance the blonde getting hurt again and she definitely didn't need Puck more cross with her. Besides, whatever she felt when Quinn was around needed to be ignored. There was obviously unresolved feelings between Quinn and Puck. She didn't need to become further entrenched in their issues.

Lifting her head at the knock at her door, Rachel stood with a sigh and went to answer it. She wasn't sure who would be coming to bother her considering she only really had three friends: Quinn, Puck, and Santana. Two of which she wasn't exactly having clear lines of communication with. Opening the door, she furrowed her brows at the sight of Quinn Fabray. "Quinn...what..." she shook her head as the hum along her skin made itself known. "Come in..." She gently guided the blonde into her room and closed the door, crossing her arms and waiting for an explanation.

Quinn barely felt Rachel take her into the room - she was almost completely out of herself now. "She," there was no attempt to stop dissociating now, it was easier to be outside looking in, "she told him. About her daughter. He...he hates her. Everyone hates her. Please," she finally looked Rachel in the eye, "please tell her you don't hate her. She just needs - someone, anyone that doesn't hate her."

Rachel didn't know what to say. This was all a bit strange to her, but she was able to piece things together using her own common sense. "I don't hate you, Quinn. I doubt Noah hates you either. He is probably upset, rightfully so, but he must have loved you at one point. He seems to care a great deal for you. I could tell by the way he rushed to your side when you needed healing and in the way he carried you from my room," she explained, scratching her head a little. "Feelings like that don't just disappear. He'll probably show his gruff exterior to you for a while, but I have no doubt he'd be at your side if you ever truly needed him."

"She doesn't think so," Quinn shook her head. "Not anymore. He's like everyone else. All the people that don't want her around. Maybe she shouldn't have come back this year."

She gestured to the bed. "Could she sit? Could you...could you sit with her?"

Rachel didn't know what to do. She was by no means a psychiatrist and she had no idea what she was getting herself into when it came to Quinn. "Well, I think you're wrong and you just assumed people don't want you around. You're a good person, Quinn. You've made mistakes, but nothing irreparable..." she looked at the blonde with sadness, thinking of her own past. "Of course you can sit down, but...I'm not sure it's a good idea for me to be too close." She hurt for her friend and wanted to comfort the other girl in some way, but the images of their last meeting played through her mind.

There was no way Rachel would take the chance of hurting Quinn again. Especially when the blonde was in such a fragile state of mind. She knew that Puck would talk to Quinn again. He'd talked to her again, after all. She figured he was probably hurt and his emotions were raw from learning the news, but he had an irreplaceable bond with Quinn now. For the rest of their lives they would be tied together, even if they didn't end up with each other. There was no way the both of them would stay out of touch for long.

It was so hard, in that moment. Being close to the brunette, whatever bond it was they shared, made her want to experience the meeting in her own mind, and not from the curious place she occupied when she was like this. But it was such a _struggle_ to come back now. She didn't answer, not right away, just sat down and tried to bring herself back. "She - I, damn it - I'd like to hold your hand right now, if you'll let her - me. If you want to wear a glove or something so we don't really touch, that's okay, she just...a little bit of contact. Please?"

She hated begging, and she especially hated forcing herself on the telepath, but if she could anchor herself, maybe she could stay in her own head for a while.

Rachel set her jaw and stiffened for a moment. What the fuck was she supposed to do? The humming along her skin was urging her on and she could feel that same buzz in her head. Quinn sounded so lost though and she wanted to engulf the blonde in an embrace. "I..." she looked down, clenching her fists a few times before nodding. "Okay...I guess I can try..." She moved over to the bed and gingerly sat beside Quinn, leaving some space between them.

It took her a moment, but she reached out her hand and grasped the other girl's. The feeling to connect washed over her, but she managed to hold it back. She held on to her control and ignored the feeling, pushing it to the back of her mind. Her body was tense and her jaw was locked, but she would help her friend. Rachel knew she owed it to Quinn after what she had done the week before.

"Thank you," Quinn whispered, reveling in the way Rachel's hand felt in hers, like it was meant to be there. She squeezed, feeling the weight of it, the smoothness of her skin, trying to lose herself in the details. It was the only way she could think of to bring herself back. And slowly but surely she _was_ coming back. She could tell by how much it hurt, as all of the emotions she'd set aside began to hit her.

She still didn't have the slightest idea how Rachel's power worked, or what it would do, but it didn't keep her from trying something. She pushed out with her mind, trying to feel her way down their connection to touch Rachel's mind. She didn't know what it would accomplish, if anything, but she tried to send something simple. _It's okay. You can let me go if you need to._

Rachel nodded at Quinn, locking her gaze with the other girl and willing herself to relax slightly. It wouldn't be any good if she lost control again, especially inside the building and with Quinn so close to her. She allowed herself to feel the warmth the blonde's presence exuded, both in mind and body. She watched confused as Quinn looked like she was concentrating and staring straight inside of her. It wasn't until she heard the taller girl's thoughts that she realized what was going on.

Hearing Quinn speak to her made her release the connection and the hand in her own. She bounced up from her bed and moved to the other side of the room. How could she be so stupid? To accidentally enter someone's mind like that was wrong. It was a violation of privacy and she hadn't even been aware. What was wrong with her?

Rachel trembled at the thought of falling apart. Was she getting worse? She always used to be so controlled and knew exactly where she stood. Now she was constantly doing everything she promised not to when she had stepped into the school. It made her feel sick to her stomach. Keeping her back to Quinn, she knew an apology was in order...again. "I am so sorry, Quinn. I...I think something is wrong with me and...you need to go, okay? I will go talk to Dr. Schuester as soon as possible and perhaps he can place me somewhere. I'm sure there's a place where I won't be able to hurt anyone else," she swallowed heavily, trying to keep her emotions in check.

"Hey," Quinn protested. "No, please - don't go. Please. She needs you, she can't-" all of the progress she'd made in returning to herself had vanished. "It was her fault, she tried pushing her thoughts into you, she was wrong, she shouldn't have done that. Please - you're the only one, she needs - god, please. She can't do this alone. She can't be alone again. You said you wouldn't leave!"

Rachel tensed and balled her hands into fists, scared but unwilling to let it show. "Quinn, you don't get it! You _can't_ push your thoughts into my head. It's the other way around. I can read your mind. I can make you do things and I can...I can violate you the way that I just did," she felt the bile rise in her throat as the words left her mouth. "I have no control anymore and I'm not willing to let you or anyone else get hurt!" She breathed heavily, leaning her palms against the wall to steady herself. Even now, under her skin she could feel the call, like a devil's whisper, to connect with Quinn again. She grunted in frustration and punched the wall.

"You need to go."

Quinn jumped. The use of a fist, even against the wall, was enough to make her feel like she was back home. It only made her feel worse. "But she _did!_" she protested. "She felt her way all the way to you, and then she pushed. You didn't..." she stood up slowly, looking toward the door. "It wasn't you. But she'll go if that's what you want. She should have figured." She took a step toward the door.

Rachel could feel her resolve crumbling. She wanted so badly to make the connection again, it was almost like being addicted to a narcotic. Quinn didn't get it. Her power allowed her to connect to the minds of others and no matter how hard the other girl tried, unless she specifically linked them or the blonde had another power she didn't know about, the one who was to blame was her. As much as she wished to take all of the pain from Quinn and wrap the girl in a gentle embrace, it was safer to let the blonde leave.

She could feel her body shaking at the strain of holding back. The brunette should never have taken Quinn's hand. Why was she so out of control? Why did she have to become this ticking time bomb now? She shut her eyes tightly and waited for the blonde to go so that the buzzing in her head would quiet.

Quinn hesitated. All she'd been hoping was that Rachel would call out to her, ask her to turn around and stay. She was at a loss to explain why she felt so at home here, why the other's girl touch centered her, calmed her, even broke the dissociative state she was falling into. She was an anchor, a lifeline, and (Quinn had thought) a friend, all rolled into one. She _needed_ the brunette, more than she'd needed anyone since the day she walked out of her home alone.

She put her hand on the doorknob and tried desperately to focus, to break the haze in her mind and say what she needed to, without describing it in the third person way that made her feel safe. She needed the other girl to understand this was _her_ talking, and that she _needed_ this...connection, or whatever it was they shared.

"Please," she tried one more time, without turning around. "Rachel, please don't make m-me go. You...you're my only friend. The only one I've ever made here. She," she bit her lip. _No,_ she told herself, _don't do that._ "I don't want to leave."

Rachel wanted to cry at the sound of Quinn's desperation. There was only one thing she could do at this point and though she loathed the idea of being defenseless for a while, it seemed to be her best option. "Quinn..." she couldn't explain it to the other girl. Taking a deep breath, she focused all of her energy on creating a shield around her mind. It was a defense that she had learned in case another telepath tried to read or control her. The only problem was that the shield worked two ways. It stop anything from getting in, but it also prevented her from using her power and it usually lasted a day.

She leaned her forehead against the wall in concentration as she began to weave the shield. "You can stay...just give me a minute..." she breathed out quickly.

Quinn very nearly wept with relief as she turned around. Since the first glimpse of her daughter, this was the closest she'd been to being happy. She turned and leaned back against the door, trying not to disrupt whatever it was Rachel was doing. She could almost feel the power flowing around her, and she didn't even speak - she didn't want to chance messing anything up.

She saw how much effort the brunette was making, and it killed her a little. She didn't want to be the reason she had to do so much. But she didn't want to have to leave, either. All she could do was wait, and hope that the other girl wasn't too angry with her for making her do...whatever she was doing now.

Rachel felt the shield snap into place and her body sagged as the energy was released. She felt slightly empty, but if it kept Quinn safe and if she could help her friend, then she would just deal with it for the day. Pushing herself from the wall, the brunette turned to Quinn and gave her a small smile. She wiped the sweat from her forehead after the exertion she'd just put her body through. The buzz was gone and now she could fully focus on helping the taller girl deal with whatever was bothering her.

"I'm sorry about that...It won't be a problem again," she explained and held out her hand for the blonde to take.

Quinn watched Rachel until she was done, nearly moving toward her when she seemed to flag at the end, but worried that she'd only make things worse. Her smile was like a ray of hope, though, and the hand she offered was such a powerful sight that Quinn could barely move toward her to take it. She did, though, in the end, and it felt amazing. She cradled it in both of hers, trying not to cry. "I don't know what you just did," she whispered, "but whatever it was - thank you. Thank you, so much." She nearly pulled her into a hug, but she wasn't sure if that would be too much contact or not.

Rachel was caught off guard when Quinn embraced her, but she allowed herself to relax and wrapped her own arms around the taller girl. She gently rubbed the blonde's back. "You don't need to thank me. It's what friends do, right?" she chuckled a little, closing her eyes as she smelled the scent that was uniquely Quinn again. "At least you're talking in first person again so that's progress," she joked.

"I wouldn't know," Quinn chuckled softly, "I haven't had many of them." She breathed Rachel in, memorizing her touch, her smell, the weight of her, the feel - this was the best she'd felt in so, so long, and she wanted to remember it forever, to keep it close so she would always have the memory accessible if she needed it.

"Yeah," she whispered. "I'm sorry about that. I have a really hard time controlling that when I'm stressed out. It started when I was a kid, and it's just...I hate it, but sometimes it just happens. You brought me back, though - so thank you, again. It seems like you've done a lot more for me than the other way around, I'll have to fix that somehow."

Rachel frowned at Quinn's statement. It looks like they were both entering this friendship blind. "Well, I've never had any so I'm not really sure what I'm doing," she said nervously. She simply let the blonde hold her and take whatever comfort was needed. She missed the light hum under her skin and the warmth she normally sensed around Quinn, but if she could help the other girl in this way it was worth it. Rachel owed it to her friend after all she'd done.

"Don't apologize. I understand. It's a defense mechanism," she shrugged. It's not like she could be a hypocrite considering what she'd just done to herself. "You don't owe me anything, okay? I've done nothing but put you in danger, so you don't need to fix anything. Really."

"I guess we'll figure it out together, then?" Quinn asked softly. "I'd like that." She wasn't willing to move yet. Other than Puck, this was the first real contact she'd had with another person since - she couldn't even think when. And the fact that they were both new at the idea of friendship made her feel like they were on even ground. She rested her head on Rachel's shoulder, hoping for just a few more minutes.

"Yeah - the doc says I have a lot of those. I think even you said that, the other day," she admitted. "But you _have_ helped, and you haven't put me in danger," she disagreed. "I'm a big girl, Rachel - you haven't made me do anything, and I chose to put myself in positions where I could be hurt. That was my choice, and you don't have to feel responsible for it. That," she smiled even though Rachel couldn't see it, "is what friends are for. I think. I never got the manual, though, so I could be wrong."

Rachel simply nodded at Quinn's question and continued to rubbed the girl's back, bringing one hand up to comb through blonde hair. She'd never been someone's method of comfort before, but she really wanted to do the right thing for the blonde. When it came to Quinn, she felt even more protective than she normally did with the people she cared about. It was strange, but she didn't question it. She just allowed the feeling to wash over her.

"I suppose you are partially correct, but I have also made poor decisions. I will need to figure out what is wrong with me though. I can't keep doing this," she said with a sigh, figuring she'd have to go to Dr. Schuester at some point.

Quinn made a little noise of contentment when Rachel's hand found her hair. She didn't understand what had developed between them - how she could feel so at ease here, in her arms - but maybe that was just how friendship - real friendship - was, and she'd just never had it before. For the moment she didn't care.

"Is it something I do?" she asked nervously. "I can try not to do...whatever I do that makes it hard for you to control yourself. All you have to do is tell me."

Rachel smiled at Quinn's offer of kindness, but shook her head. "It's not you. I mean..." she sighed, wanting to be honest. "It's not your fault. I just get this weird feeling whenever you're around. Ever since the first time I accidentally connected to you. I'm sure Dr. Schuester will help me figure it out. I'll be right as rain in no time." She didn't want to worry the blonde. The head of the school should be able to help her out given his knowledge and expertise on the matter. Now that she was shielded, it kept her worries away for twenty-four hours. She could see the doctor in that time and find a way to prevent further mishaps.

Quinn pulled back, just enough to look Rachel in the eye. "I hope so," she murmured. "And tell him - anything he thinks I can do, I'll do it. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me."

She leaned close again, wrapping her arms around the brunette. "We should go out sometime - I mean, once I stop making you feel weird. Even for, like, an ice cream or something. My treat," she promised.

Rachel chuckled lightly, but stayed quiet just resting her head against Quinn's chest. _I wouldn't call it uncomfortable_, she thought to herself. She remembered the warmth she felt at sensing the blonde's presence and the comfort that had wrapped around her when they had linked with each other for that brief moment. For her to want that so badly was wrong. She couldn't just invade people's minds because she was lonely.

"I guess we could go out and do something like that. Friends are supposed to hang out and have movie nights and stuff, right?" she asked quizzically.

"I think that's the idea," Quinn smiled again. "But you can pick what you want to do, I don't think movie nights are a must or anything. It's more just the hanging out, I think."

She knew the hug had gone on for a long time, and Rachel was probably getting tired of standing there - but she stayed anyway, trying to squeeze a few more minutes out of it.

Rachel closed her eyes and relaxed into Quinn's warmth with a small smile. "I'm not picky. It's not like I have a bunch of things going on in my life," she laughed softly. "You know...for someone who manipulates ice, you're really quite warm. It's...comforting." She blushed a little bit, embarrassed at her admission.

"We'll find some fun stuff, I promise," Quinn assured her. "I'm sure we can come up with something." She blushed at Rachel's words, grateful the other girl couldn't see her. "It's something about my metabolism - the doc explained it once, but I didn't really follow the science. But I'm glad it is, because you feel really good in my arms, too." She didn't think of how the words sounded until they were out of her mouth, and she nearly took them back, but she decided that would just make it worse.

"I'm going to hold you to that statement, Fabray," she smirked and looked up at Quinn. She was happy to see that her friend was feeling better. The blonde seemed more relaxed and she'd seen the taller girl smile. Losing her power for a day was worth that smile. She liked helping other people. It made her feel like she was making up for all of the bad things she had done in her past. "Well, then it's win-win for the both of us, right?"

Rachel knew she should let go, but it was hard to get her body to obey. How often would she get to have Quinn like this and feel that warmth? When her power was back to normal, she'd no doubt have to watch out for the close contact. For now, she wanted to enjoy it as much as possible.

"You can definitely hold me to it," Quinn wasn't sure if she meant her promise, or something else, but she smiled down at Rachel all the same. "It definitely is," she agreed.

Quinn didn't even have anything else to offer right then, she just enjoyed every last second of their embrace. She knew she'd be replaying it in her dreams that night, and she wanted the memory to be perfect.


	18. Chapter 18

Puck wished he could say he didn't know why Dr. Shuester had gotten his secretary to call him up to the office. But he had a feeling that it had everything to do with the fact that Santana had promised to alert the head of the school to Quinn's apparent closet-dwelling behavior.

His suspicions were confirmed, when the girl walked into the waiting area, where he was seated. It took every shred of self-restraint to stay where he was, and not run and hide, at the sight of her.

Quinn had assumed the meeting she'd been summoned to was a private, one on one sort of meeting. That notion was quickly dispelled when she saw Puck waiting outside the office. If he hadn't already seen her, she might have tried to make a quick exit. As it was, she stayed as far away as she could while still remaining in the room.

Puck had to remind himself not to be hurt by Quinn trying to avoid him, by loitering on the other side of the room. She didn't know that he was still utterly unable to be angry with her, no matter how he tried. She almost certainly believed that he hated her.

He took a deep breath, and hoped that his voice wouldn't shake. "I won't bite. I promise," he tried to smile at her, but he wasn't entirely sure he'd managed. "I'm pretty sure he's torturing us on purpose. Apparently he's making an _important phone call_. You should have a seat," he offered, moving his bag from the seat next to him, to the floor, so she could sit.

Quinn nodded hesitantly, offering the closest thing she could manage to a smile. She clutched her purse to her chest and took the seat he indicated, still leaning away from him as she sat down. If he was going to be furious with her, she'd rather not be too close.

Okay, the leaning away, like she was afraid that he might hit her, or something? _That_ had hurt. Still, he knew enough about her past, that he _almost_ understood the action. But he thought that she trusted him, so her fear did sting. He'd already tried to show her that he wasn't angry - not with her, anyway - and he had no idea how to let her know that, but to come right out, and say it.

"I'm not mad at you," he stated simply in a quiet voice. "I wouldn't go near you, if I was." He carefully reached out and placed his hand over where she'd rested her own, on the arm rest of her chair. He moved slowly, afraid she'd flinch away. He wouldn't be able to take it if that happened. It might literally break his heart, if it did.

It was a very near thing. If he had moved faster, been even the slightest bit more aggressive in his movements, she couldn't have stayed still. As it was she was nearly redlining with tension, every nerve feeling like it was on fire. She was still just beginning, after her time with Rachel the previous night, to start to feel like herself again, and any hint of anger or violence from him could easily have sent her running.

But he was slow, and gentle, and she managed to keep her hand still, without pulling it away from him. She still didn't trust her voice, or even know what she'd say if she did, and she gave him a tiny, sad smile that barely turned up the corners of her mouth.

He tried to smile back, but all he managed was a cheap, dull imitation of the expression he'd intended. He stroked his thumb across the back of her hand and dropped his gaze to the space where the wall opposite them, joined the floor.

"Okay, Quinny," was all he could say. He gave her hand a tiny squeeze. It was all he had left to give her, at that point. He'd hoped the contact would reassure her, and would give them both some much-needed comfort. But the tension she was still carrying, and the lack of any real, positive response from the girl, stopped that from happening. This was just so uncomfortable, and after a moment, he considered pulling his hand away, but he didn't want her to take it as some kind of slight. So, he just continued to stare straight ahead, and stay relaxed, as best he could.

Quinn knew she had to try and say something. He'd done his best to assuage the fear that had paralyzed her, he'd told her (even if she suspected it wasn't true) that he didn't hate her. He deserved more than sullen silence. She opened her mouth, trying to find words. "She," it was a bad start. She thought she'd moved past that with Rachel, the night before. "Thank you," she tried again, quietly. She put her purse in her lap and put her other hand over his, cradling it between them.

_She_? Not that again. That meant things were worse than he'd imagined. But Quinn had pulled herself out of it - quickly enough that he couldn't be 100% sure that was what she was doing, so it was a good sign, he supposed.

He didn't really know what she was thanking him for... Not being angry with her? Trying to make this whole thing as painless as possible, maybe? That part was for both of them, but she was still totally welcome. He gave her an actual smile - it was sort of faint, and still kind of sad-looking, but it was real - in acknowledgment of her words.

"It's okay, you know. _This_ is okay," he said, referring to just sitting there. "You don't have to talk." He was okay with the silence, now that it was a little more comfortable.

Her head was a mess. He was being more than polite - almost _nice_ to her, and she didn't deserve it. Not from him, not from anyone.

She returned his smile as best she could, sitting back in her chair and closing her eyes, but she didn't move her hands from around his. "It's okay to hate her." She didn't notice the slip-up this time. Her time with Rachel had lessened her need to be outside of herself, but it hadn't driven it totally under. "She hates herself." The second one she did notice, but she didn't feel up to correcting herself. She just hoped that Dr. Schuester would see them soon, so he could leave. He couldn't really want to be there with her. Not anymore.

Puck nearly started crying when Quinn started using third person pronouns when talking about herself, again. He pressed his hand more firmly to hers and rested his forehead on her shoulder. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, her scent washing over him and bringing a sense of calm with it, as always - he had never really understood why - and it allowed him to finally try to tell her exactly how he was feeling. He had to make her understand _everything_.

"I don't hate you, I never could have. I love you way too much for that" he told her, starting with the easy stuff. "I'm really sorry for making you feel like you couldn't be around me... Both times. Whatever I did to make you feel like you couldn't tell me, or let me take my share of the responsibility... and help you decide what we'd have done... Whatever I did back then, I'm... I'm so, so sorry... I didn't mean to make you go away... I'm sorry if it's that I'm not good enough, but I would have tried. I'd have tried _so_ damn hard to be better, for you, and f-for Beth... if I'd just known…" Once he'd gotten started, months of bottled up pain and self doubt just came tumbling out of him, without his permission. He actually needed to open his eyes, to see if he was crying against Quinn's sleeve. He wasn't, and he couldn't figure out why not. This - the talking about it - _hurt_... But he also felt like getting all of this out, might be helping. He closed his eyes again, before continuing.

"And I'm sorry for making you think that I was angry... I don't know why I thought I might be, but I'm not... Well not with you, and I shouldn't have made you think that... I know you don't want me around, but if you did, I'd be there to help you with this... I'll do whatever you tell me to, I'll leave the school, or I'll be here with you, if that's what you want..." He said the last part quietly, not daring to hope that she might still want anything to do with a screw-up like him. He didn't know why she ever did, now he thought about it. "... Just tell me what you want, and I'll do it," he promised.

His presence, the touch of his head on her her shoulder, it made her ache. With sadness, with loss, with grief, with things she'd spent months trying to repress. She felt herself check out, completely now, because the only way she could have this conversation - the only way she could get _hope_ to get through it - was to be outside of it. To be able to speak about emotions, but not feel them. Feeling them would destroy her.

"She - she loves you too. So m-much," she faltered. "And it w-wasn't your fault. Not like that. You didn't make her go away, and she never thought you weren't good enough. She was _scared._ More scared than when she was tied up in her closet, more than when she thought her dad was going to kill her. She - there was this life in her, this life she'd created, and she couldn't handle the thought that she would treat that life the way she was treated. And so she ran, as far away as she could. She was already halfway down the coast before she even _thought_ of anything but her own fear. And it was too late by then. S-she," it was a struggle now to stay _out_ of herself, where it was usually the other way around. "You would have been a good dad. She knows it. You're amazing, and there's no part of you that wasn't good enough."

Quinn swallowed tears. "She never said she didn't want you here. She was just so scared of how much you'd hate her," she was crying brokenly now. "If you can be around her - she wants you here. Please."

"Please... Please stop doing that," he whispered, bringing his other hand up to rest on her arm. "Quinny, I'm worried about you... Have you really been sleeping in the closet? Quinn?" He opened his eyes and lifted his head, to look at her.

"You'd never have hurt that little girl. _I_ know that, and you need to realize it too. You're _not_ them, Quinn. You're good, and kind, and you love her, and they are cruel, and hateful, and they couldn't love you, just for being you... That's on _them_, not you. You'd have been a great mom..." He wasn't really sure whether that assessment of her potential parental ability would help or make things worse, but he hoped it would help.

"Of course I'll stay," he promised. "I'll never leave you, unless you want me to. Never."

"Yes," she met his gaze and blinked, hard, trying to ground herself without completely surrendering to the pain. "Sh - I - have." She didn't elaborate or explain, only conceded the fact.

"They're _in_ me," she whispered, looking down again. "Every time I close my eyes, I feel them. That anger, that hate. It's in my blood, Puck. I don't know how to get rid of it. I couldn't - I wasn't ready to be responsible for a baby. Even with help. Maybe someday, when my head's right, but it was too soon." She blinked back tears. "But I'm so sad about leaving her behind. She - fuck, I'm sorry. I - I don't know how to make this better. Not for me, and certainly not for you."

"Thank you," she whispered, sitting back in her chair. "I don't know...what we are now, but I don't want you to leave."

Puck felt like he was going to be sick, when Quinn admitted that she'd been sleeping in her closet. "Oh, God..." he whispered. "I'm sorry that you're hurting so bad, Quinny."

"Hey, hey..." He reached out and wiped the tear tracks from her face, with the pad of his thumb. "Listen to me very carefully, ok? What they did to you, was bound to leave a mark... But you're an _amazing_ person anyway. You're too strong to let them win, like that, I know it. I know _you_. You'd be a _great_ mom, Quinn. You won't get the chance to prove it to yourself with Beth - neither of us will, and that _sucks_ - but one day, you will. And then you'll see what I see... You'll see why I can't be angry with you, even though you hurt me so badly." There, he'd finally been able to say it. He'd been able to acknowledge that _she_ had made him that sad. It didn't feel good, but it was progress, apparently. "You don't have to even _try_ to make things better for me. I'm ok," he lied. "And you will be too. I'll help you figure out how. I'll always be here for you," he reiterated. "Always."

"Don't," she whispered. "Don't be sorry for her. Me. She's not worth it." It didn't stop her from leaning into the touch of his hand.

"Puck," she started hesitantly. "I don't even _know_ what kind of person I am. If I'm a person at all. I just...I drift. I don't let people get close, and I run when I'm scared - I don't even know if she - if I'm a person at all anymore. I'm just - some _entity_ called Quinn, but I don't even know..." she shook her head. "Ignore me. I don't even know what I'm saying."

She had to blink, hard, to clear the tears from her eyes. "I'm so sorry," she looked away. "I never meant to hurt anyone. Least of all you. And I know you're not okay. I might be a bitch, but she's not a stupid bitch." She caught herself. "You know what I mean. "I wouldn't blame you, if you didn't want to be - but thank you. I can't make it any better - but thank you."

"You _are_ worth it. That, and so much more, too," he brushed the back of his fingers down her cheek, before letting his hand fall. "You'll never convince me otherwise."

Puck listened to her borderline-nonsensical rambling, with a frown marring his features, before it morphed into a warm smile. "Well, it's a good thing you've got me, to remind you how special you are, then. And one day, you _will_ believe me. You know what I'm like when I'm determined," he joked, weakly.

"I know you didn't," he said, honestly. "It's okay... I might not be alright, just yet..." he conceded. "But I know I will be. As long as I have you, I can cope, until I get there... So you're welcome."

Just then, the door to Dr. Schuester's office, finally opened.

"I'm glad one of us thinks so," she smiled humorlessly. "And yeah," she conceded, "I do know what that's like - so I'll just wave a white flag and say I'll wait for you to convince me."

She squeezed his hand, not sure she could form a proper reply to that, and settling for the nonverbal gesture in the hopes that it would convey what she didn't have the words for.

She jumped a little at the sound of the door opening, but managed not to jerk away from him - she knew that would hurt him, and she didn't want to do that.

"Atta girl," he offered her a small smile, and squeezing her hand back.

Puck snapped his head toward the door when he heard it open.

Dr. Schuester hadn't really been on the phone. He'd been waiting in his office for the teenagers sitting outside, to sort things out, and telepathically eavesdropping.

"Good morning," he greeted, as he opened the door. "Sorry about that. Quinn, would you like to come in? Noah, you're free to go, now."

Quinn let go of Puck's hand and gathered her purse. She stood and looked down at him, wondering what to say now. With nothing coming to mind, she put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, giving him a sad smile as she walked away toward Will's office.

"I'm sorry, I'm free to _go_? The hell you mean, I can go?" Puck frowned. "You called me up here, a half hour, before Quinn, and we've both been here at least that long on top of that. I thought we were gonna talk about this?"

"This doesn't concern you, any further, Noah. I don't want to keep you here any longer, unnecessarily." Dr. Schuester was stoic.

This felt too familiar. Too much like conflict, too much like home. Quinn started to back away, looking for a safe exit while keeping her eyes darting between both men. "I, uh," she stammered, "I'll come back."

Puck noticed Quinn getting antsy and didn't want to make her any more uncomfortable. He took a breath to calm down. If Doc didn't want to talk to him, he never had to again. It was fine.

"It's okay, Quinny," he headed past her toward the door behind her, stopping to kiss her on the forehead. "Call me later. Just to check in. I worry."

Quinn took a few deep, centering breaths and leaned up to whisper in Puck's ear. "I'll call you as soon as I'm out," she promised. "To let you know I'm okay. I swear."

She gave his hand a hesitant squeeze and turned her attention back to Dr. Schuester. "Are we...do you want me to come in, then?"

Puck squeezed her hand back, before letting go and heading to the door. He cast one last glance at his "father" and stepped though it, closing it behind him.

"Of course," Dr. Schuester held his office door open for her, gesturing for her to go inside. He didn't even look at Puck as he left.

"I'm sorry about how Noah's behaving, Quinn. I don't know how he found out. I certainly never told him." He told her, as they say down.

Quinn sat down hesitantly in the chair on one side of the desk. "I did," she whispered, arms held defensively around herself. "I just couldn't...I couldn't keep it a secret forever. It wasn't fair to him."

"I see..." He said hesitantly. _Well, that wasn't what we agreed. Now I look awful._ "... Well, I'm sorry about his behavior, nonetheless. I will speak with him later, to get him off your back, if you would like me to."

He shuffled some papers around on his desk, before looking back over at Quinn. "So, how are you doing, since your return to McKinley?"

"I know it's not - that wasn't the deal," Quinn sighed. "But I broke down the other night, to Rachel, and she confirmed what I'd been thinking ever since I got back. That I had to tell him sometime. He was bound to find out sooner or later, and better it come from me. I thought."

That made her hesitate. That he'd asked for the meeting told her he already knew something. "Sh - I'm okay," she corrected hurriedly. "I've honestly been wondering whether I should have come back. There's just _so much_ to deal with. It's been - overwhelming, honestly. If it wasn't for Rachel - I may have already left again, to be honest."

"Doesn't concern me any further..." he mumbled as he walked down the hallway. He got to the stairwell, stopped dead, and put his fist through the wall, before continuing down the stairs.

Dr. Schuester frowned at Quinn's disregard of his suggestion about Noah. Then his frown deepened as he picked up on some thoughts that the boy had to be deliberately projecting, from down the hall... Why had he taught him to do that?

He tuned Puck out and began reading Quinn's thoughts, instead of listening to her words. This was how he conversed with people, more often than not; he'd give them a verbal prompt and then listen to their involuntary thoughts on the subject. It was just more accurate.

"I see…" he told her. "And how are you coping with... everything else?"

Quinn frowned. If he was reading her - hell, even if he _wasn't_, then he knew the answer to his question already. But if he was really going to make her say it, then she would. "Not as well as I'd hoped. I thought it was over, that I could just put it behind me and not think about it anymore. But being back - seeing Puck, and finally telling someone...I thought it would make it better."

She shook her head, dabbing at her eyes with one hand. "There's not many people around here that like me anyway, and the way I've driven away Puck now on top of everything else...I'm just alone, I guess. And normally I don't mind that. I don't trust people anyway. It's just hard to go through this - to deal with it alone."

"You're not alone Quinn." He told her, offering her a box of tissues. "You do have friends who care, and..." He didn't want to tell her this part, but the girl needed to hear it. "... You haven't driven Noah away. Quite the opposite. That boy is more infatuated with you, than ever." He refused to call it _love_.

Quinn took one and pressed it to her eyes. She wasn't going to make them both uncomfortable by blubbering in his office. "You're sweet," she gave him a half-hearted grin. "But I think we both know I don't do friendship very well."

Was that something he'd picked up via telepathy, or just an educated guess? "I don't know if that's better or worse," she confessed softly. "I don't know if - or how - we could ever be the way we were. There's just - a lot of baggage there now, and I don't know if I'm ready to be that...vulnerable again."

"Well then, you're alone by choice, Quinn." He told her. He was a busy man, and there was only so much time he had for people, when they refused to accept his help.

"I understand. Trust me, I'm _not_ saying you should try, but he'll always be there for you, if you let him. He wasn't lying to you." He told her, not really caring that she'd know he had been listening in.

Quinn recoiled as if struck. "Yeah," she bit off. "I guess I am." If that wasn't a brush-off, she didn't know what was. She was already standing before she heard the rest of what he'd said.

"You know, for someone who's supposed to be _teaching_ other people how to be responsible for their powers, you sure don't hesitate to use yours whenever you feel like it."

She didn't slam the door, but she did give herself the satisfaction of freezing the lock shut on her way out. She didn't look back as she thought, hoping he was still listening, _I'd rather be a bitch than a prick. You have a good day, Doctor._


	19. Chapter 19

Quinn would have been lying if she said she wasn't nervous. What he'd blurted out at the end of their phone call - it was nerve-wracking. She didn't want to go back to that place with him - she couldn't. But she still loved him too, and she chose to interpret it as platonically as possible. She had painkillers in her purse and a bag of ice in her hand, and she used the other to knock on Puck's door.

Puck stood from where he'd been lying on the bed, when he heard Quinn knock on the door. He'd intended to meet her at the door, but he was feeling light headed and nauseated - thanks to the pain of his injury - and had to flop back down.

Instead, he called out, hoping she'd hear him, from behind the doorway, at the top of the stairs. "S'open!"

The shout was muffled by the door, but she was fairly sure she'd caught the gist of it. The knob, as expected, turned freely under her hand and she nudged the door open. Once she was through she pushed it shut again with her foot, looking around for Puck. "Are you in bed?" she called softly.

Puck made some kind of sound of confirmation, distracted by a particularly painful throb in his hand. Why had he picked a part of the wall with a concrete support behind it? Why?

Quinn made her way through the room, stepping over a few scattered videogame controllers and the like, and found her way to Puck's bedside. "Hey," she whispered, kneeling beside the bed. "Take this," she offered the bag of ice. "I've got some painkillers, I just need to go get you some water."

He nodded and took the ice, secretly amused that a walking ice machine just carried a bag of the stuff downstairs. She'd probably gotten some strange looks. "Thanks" he gave her a dopey smile, not quite with it, in the moment. He didn't feel right, at _all_.

"R'they strong?" He asked, as she headed for the bathroom. "I hope they're strong." He mumbled that part to himself, but it came out louder than intended.

Quinn found a decently clean-looking glass and filled it half full before bringing it back and kneeling beside him again. "They're for migraines," she said softly, "they should be strong enough. I hope." She poured a couple in her hand and passed them over, watching him worriedly.

"Are you okay?" she looked nervously at him. "You look - really rough, Puck. Shouldn't you be getting better already?"

Puck took the pills and swallowed them, gulping the water down like he was dying of thirst, before setting the glass down.

He looked at the clock on the wall, and then down at his knuckles, that were still bleeding slightly. If anything, he was healing rather _slowly_. Even for someone who was - well, not him. He nodded. "Yeah, much," he agreed, with a frown.

"What can I do?" she asked, following his gaze at his injured hand. "I mean - if you need me to call a doctor or something, I can do that. Or more water, or," she trailed off, feeling helpless. "Can I do anything? At all?"

"Just..." He was having trouble focusing on what he was trying to say. "...can you get the first aid kit from that draw?" He pointed with a shaky hand. "Looks like I'm actually gonna... gonna have to patch this up."

Quinn was up in a flash and rifled through the drawer until she found the kit he meant. Kneeling beside the bed again she put a hand on his arm. "I can't," she confessed, "I don't know how to do this. I'm not really...I'm not good with blood. I can freeze your hand a little while you work on it, though, if you want. Should hurt less."

Puck gave her a weak smile, and sat up, as best he could. He put his uninjured hand over hers, on his arm. "It's ok. I can do this. You don't... you don't have to look... or stay, if you don't want to. I'm... I'm fine." He took the kit from her and began to struggle with the catch, on the plastic box.

"Don't be ridiculous," Quinn muttered, without any sting behind the words. She took the case back from him again and opened it. "Tell me what you need. I'll do as much as I can." She moved her hand from under his and put it on his wrist, willing cold through herself into his injured hand.

"Tell me if it's too much," she bit her lip, "I just want to numb it so you can work on it."

Puck nodded and set to work, fixing his hand. He'd cleaned the cuts and was halfway through splinting his broken finger, when he suddenly faded out, fading Quinn - who was still touching him - out too.

"Whoa," Quinn whispered, looking down at - well, nothing but an empty bed. "I take it you're not doing that on purpose. Seriously, Noah, you're scaring me now. I wish there was someone I could call, because I don't know how to help."

Puck shook his head, even though she couldn't see him. There really was nobody to call. Neither of them was on particularly good terms with the one person who might know what to do about all of this.

If Quinn was scared, he was _terrified_. He didn't know why this was happening. What if he stayed this way forever? The lack of superhuman healing ability, he could handle. But being invisible?

"It's ok." He carefully slid his wrist out of her chilly grip, so she became visible again. Good. At least he hadn't done any permanent harm to _her_. "You've helped me as much as you can. You don't have to stay with me, or anything..." She may not have picked up on it, but he was giving her an out. He'd promised to be there for her, whenever she needed him, forever - but she'd done no such thing. She was free to leave him to his own devices at any time, and he wouldn't complain. She didn't have to be anywhere near him. "I'll be okay, alone."

She let out an involuntary sigh when she turned visible again - she felt invisible as it was, without it being a literal condition. But any relief she felt disappeared when he didn't turn visible himself. It would be a lie to say she didn't want to leave - she was scared, and having a hard time breathing, because she honestly didn't know what to do. Her powers weren't a whole lot of good in a situation like this.

But if she was going to leave the school soon - and that _was_ the plan, she'd decided after her "discussion" with Dr. Schuester - then she wanted to do everything she could to make things right first. She shook her head. "Don't be a dummy. I'm not leaving you alone when you're like this. Move over and I'll lay down with you. You'll have to tell me when you're ready, though, I don't want to lay on your hand or something."

Puck nodded - still not realizing the futility of the action. He was grateful that she wasn't leaving him alone, right now. He was scared that if nobody could see him, and there wasn't anyone there to even _hear_ him, he might stop existing. "Okay," he mumbled, shifting over as far toward the wall, as he could. He'd heard the sigh of relief, when he'd stopped touching her, so he wasn't going do it again, if he could help it. "There."

Quinn kicked off the pumps she was wearing and crawled under the covers. There was a chill in her that she knew was mental, not physical - she was honestly frightened for Puck, more frightened than she'd been since the day she looked at a positive pregnancy test. Being under the blankets wouldn't make her warmer, but it felt nice.

"C'mere," she motioned with her head. "You don't need to be all the way over there. Let's just lay here and talk about stupid stuff. No more serious discussion allowed today." She leaned back, looking up at the ceiling. "I want to cut my hair," she threw out as something to start.

Puck did as she said, shifting closer and doing his best to push his fear, and his anger toward Dr. Schuester, his sadness about Beth, his uncertainty about the situation with Quinn - all of it - away. He tried to keep from touching her nonetheless, despite her instruction. He didn't want to cross any lines that he wasn't aware existed - which could easily happen, with Quinn.

"Yeah?" He replied, turning his head to look at her. He really liked her long hair. He thought it made her look like... No, it was too girly to even think it. "You'll look beautiful, whatever," he replied, diplomatically.

He really was having trouble trying to keep his fears at bay. He clenched and unclenched the fist of his good hand and tried to slow his breathing.

Quinn decided to make things easier and reach out for him. With both of them being invisible, it might be easier. She didn't like it, but at least it might make him feel a bit calmer - at least, she hoped so. She found his arm and moved her way down until she'd taken his hand. She promptly faded, but she took a deep breath and went on.

"Yeah," she murmured. "Short. Maybe dyeing it too, I don't know. This haircut just feels like it belongs to someone else now. And thanks." She gave his hand a squeeze, trying to calm him down. "It's okay," she whispered. "I'm here. Just breathe. Everything's going to be okay." She sighed, trying to think of another neutral topic. "How's your roommate? Do you guys get along okay?"

Puck felt a _little_ calmer, almost instantaneously, when she took his hand. It was having a similar effect on him, as the smell of her perfume did. He moved, so that their arms were pressed together, from wrist to shoulder, and was reveling in the warmth coming from the girl.

"You're still you," he pointed out, like it was that black and white. To him, it was. "But you should do whatever you feel you need to." He squeezed her hand back.

"Sam?" He asked, like he had another roommate that she might be talking about. "Yeah, he's good." He suddenly had an idea. Using his bad hand, he carefully reached down the side of the bed, to retrieve Sam's pillow, and pulled it to his chest, for additional comfort. "We get along pretty great, actually. I mean we kinda have to, really. As long as he's not trying to convince me that Superman couldn't actually be harmed, by a lightsaber, we don't argue too much, or anything." I mean seriously, who was Sam trying to kid. Lightsabers can harm _anyone_. They're freakin' _lightsabers_.

"Maybe," Quinn smiled sadly before remembering he couldn't see her. "Just - not the same me. Not anymore. I just need - a change." She didn't mention that part of the change she had in mind was disappearing - for good this time. She gratefully held his hand for now, though.

"You know you're actually speaking another language now, right?" she teased him lightly. "I have no idea how to decipher that from Nerd into English. But I'm glad you're getting along."

"Starwars? Superman? No, nothin?" He joked, nudging her gently. He was surprised at how easy this actually was, once he'd calmed a little. He was alright, as long as he didn't try to look at her, and remember that they were invisible... that he was _stuck_ that way. "I guess nerdiness is contagious." He injected mock horror into his voice. "Run! Save yourself! It's too late for me..." He cracked up laughing. Honest to God, real laughter, and it startled him a little. He handle felt anywhere near ok enough to laugh, since Quinn had made her confession.

"Anyway. Like I said; It'd be super awkward if we hated each other. Still haven't saved up enough to get him his own bed, yet."

"I've...heard of them? In that I know they exist," she grinned. "Beyond that, I got nothing." She laughed along with him, grateful to hear some actual humor in his voice. She wasn't sure she could find it in herself right now, but she was _infinitely_ grateful that he could.

"Yeah," she agreed, "it'd be a lot of sleeping on the floor for one of you. I'd have to buy you an air mattress or something."

He did what he'd told himself not to, and turned his head to try and look at her like she was nuts. "The floor?"

"Well, yeah," she chuckled, "if you hated each other, the whole bed sharing thing might be a little awkward. Unless you sawed it in half or something."

He laughed again. "Nah, if I _hated_ him, I'd make him sleep on that torture device, over there, that's pretending to be a couch."

That surprised a quick laugh out of her. "Mental note," she said, "don't ever sit on that couch." She lay there for a minute, just enjoying the quiet. "What about pink?" she mused. "For my hair, I mean."

"Oh, it's fine to sit on," he told her. "But my back still hasn't forgiven either of us for me sleeping there, the other night." He laughed again, determined not to dwell on why they'd been there, in the first place.

"Pink?" He frowned at the ceiling, as he imagined her with pink hair. "You'll look beautiful, whatever," he repeated, putting on a monotone voice, as if reading the words from the _How to Survive Tricky Questions from Chicks handbook, and not understanding them. "I'm sayin' nothin'. I like my balls attached to my body."_

That froze her for a split-second, as she remembered why they'd been sleeping there. But she recovered quickly. "Good to know," she nudged him. "I'll put up a sign warning everyone not to crash on your couch."

"Well, _I_ think it'd look pretty good," she mused. "Kinda badass or something."

He squeezed her hand in an effort to encourage her to shake it off, just as he had. He'd apologize, but the not talking about serious stuff, thing... It mostly seemed to be doing them at least a little good. So he just ignored it.

"You know better than I do," he shrugged. "The Y chromosome makes me wrong. I know that."

After a few more moments, he became acutely aware of the fact that his ability was "switched on". Any time he used it for too long, he started to not feel very well. "I feel funny," he whined, sounding a little like a five year old, and he turned his head once more, to bury his face in Quinn's invisible sleeve.

Quinn didn't linger on the subject. It was important, she knew, that they stick to surface things for now, to help calm him down. The fact that she didn't want to talk about it anyway just made it a bonus.

"Finally, a boy who understands," she nudged him again.

"It's okay," Quinn whispered, reaching over with her other hand and putting it on his head. "Just try and sleep, okay, Noah? Maybe that'll help. Just close your eyes, and breathe nice and slow, and try and rest. I know it won't be easy, I know you're not feeling good, but just try. I'll be here, I'm not going anywhere." _Yet_, her mind added. "Shh," she whispered, trying to soothe him as much as possible.

Puck nodded against her shoulder and plastered himself flush to her side, in an effort to seek out her body heat - too out of it to worry about the boundaries that he'd set himself. He felt like he was suddenly freezing, and had to grit his teeth and tense up, to avoid shivering. If anyone cared to take his temperature, they'd find that it had gone from a fairly normal one, to through the roof, within seconds. As it was, Quinn could almost certainly feel that he was burning up.

He hated this. He hated being so out of control. Last time he'd not been able to switch his power off, he'd been 12, and as soon as it had started to make him feel ill, he'd been able to snap back out of it. His mentor had told him that it was his body's way of warning him, that it was changing, to adapt to his physical state, on a long term basis. That if he got used too it, he might not be able to turn back at all... Not ever. This renewed his panic. He knew full well that Quinn was right, and that if he could just get to sleep, he might be able to calm down and regain enough control, to become visible once more. But he was just too frightened, for there to be any use trying. He was running a fever, he was aching all over, and his hand still hurt like hell. But that wasn't what bothered him the most.

"Quinny," he whispered, still clutching Sam's pillow, tightly to his side. "I'm... I'm kinda scared."

"I know you are, sweetheart," the term of endearment felt natural given the circumstances. "I know." She could feel the heat of him against her side, and she knew he must be running a sizable fever. "Wait here, okay? I'm going to get something out of my purse, and I'll be right back." She kissed his head and slipped out of his grip, turning visible again as she did. She rooted in her purse and came out with what she'd been looking for.

"I honestly don't know if this is going to make you feel better or worse," she whispered, "and I was never going to show you this, but I think you need something to focus on." She crawled back under the covers and laid it down on the other side of him so he could see it before pulling him to her side again. "That's the only one I have. The only picture. I'm not even supposed to have that, but one of the nurses felt bad for me and took one of her. She snuck it into my purse. That's Beth."

It was a calculated gamble. If she could stop his worrying, even if she had to replace it with anger, then maybe she could help him find himself. In the meantime she radiated cold, trying to soothe his fever. "Come on back to me," she whispered in his ear. "Let yourself rest, Puck. You'll be better when you wake."

He let out a pathetic whimper and grasped at thin air when she moved away, his reactions far too slow to grab hold of her. He buried his face in Sam's pillow, while she was looking in her purse, for something, genuinely feeling like he was going to die.

He lifted his head from the pillow and forced his eyes open, when her words finally computed. Beth. He was going to see what she looked like. He blinked until his eyes were able to focus on the photograph. She was perfect. A tiny version of her mother, and that knowledge simultaneously made the aching in his heart worse, and caused him to gasp as he stared in wonderment.

"She's..." He hadn't quite found a word to describe her that would sound adequate, aloud. "Wow..." he breathed. "We made her..." He announced quietly, partly like it was news, but it sort of sounded like a question.

He felt suddenly even colder, as Quinn dropped her temperature and it actually reminded him that he wasn't feeling well. "Okay," he reluctantly closed his eyes, wanting to look at the photo for just a little longer.

"Yeah," Quinn shook as she tried to hold in her tears. "Yeah, we did. She looks like you." She held him tightly. "It's okay," she promised. "You can keep it, if you want. It'll still be here when you wake up again. Just rest, and you'll feel better. I promise."

"Nah-uh," he mumbled. "S'just like you," he told her, letting himself start to drift a little.

"She's too pretty to look like me," she whispered, snuggling closer and hoping that he was near sleep now. And that she was right, about sleep being what he needed to snap out of his current state.

"Now y'talkin shit," he told her sleepily, a tiny smile tugging at his lips as he stiffened, trying not to pull away from her cool body. Logically, he knew the cold was helping him, so he made himself relax enough to cuddle back up to her, more or less wrapping himself around the blonde.

After a few minutes, he stopped shivering, not feeling so cold, and the embrace felt comfortable again. He made a content little noise, mumbled "love you, Quinny," and let sleep drag him under.

Quinn stiffened a little at his declaration, but didn't let him go. He finally drifted off, and she breathed a sigh of relief and planted a small kiss on his cheek. She stayed awake, hoping that before long his body would revert to its normal state.

About fifteen minutes after he finally drifted off, Puck started to fade in and out, in his sleep.

About thirty minutes after that - having been visible for a solid ten - he woke with a start. "No!"

Quinn jumped - she'd been gratified to see him fade back in, but afraid to go to sleep just in case anything happened. She nearly pitched sideways off the bed, but managed to keep hold of him.

"Hey, hey," she whispered. "It's okay. I'm right here. You're okay. I can even see you again, it's okay. Everything's alright now."

Puck was disoriented for a moment, but feeling physically much better after his nap. He closed his eyes again, breathing slowly and trying to slow his heart back down to match it.

Once he'd done that, he opened them again, looking down at his hand, to verify what she'd just told him. Then it registered that Quinn was _there_ to have said it. Thank God. It was just a dream... Just a dream.

He picked the picture of Beth up from where it was lying on the mattress. _Almost_ everything was alright. "Yeah" he murmured, before dropping a kiss to the fabric covering Quinn's shoulder.

"Thank you."

Quinn rubbed his back, watching him to make sure he wasn't going to fade out again. She smiled when he kissed the sleeve of her dress.

"You're welcome," she murmured. "I'm just glad you're okay." She stretched, arms above her head. "I was serious before," she gestured to the picture in his hand. "You can keep it. I don't need it anymore."

She had a few things to do, she knew. She wanted to get her hair taken care of. She needed to talk to - or at least talk _at_ - Rachel, and she needed to pack the few things that mattered. But even with all that, she could be gone by the end of the week. For now she'd stay here as long as he needed her, to make sure he was okay before she left him behind. This would be the last time, after all.

"Sorry about being such a pansy, too," he chuckled a little. "Would it help or hinder my case if I told you I was just playing it up to get you to stay? That's probably more pathetic, huh?"

"No," he told her. "Of course you do. It's yours, not mine." _She_ was hers. She was never his. "You've been carrying it around with you for a reason. You should keep it," he told her.

Quinn laughed softly - there wasn't much humor in it, but she tried. "I'd say your case is just fine. I was scared too."

She shook her head, swallowing around the lump in her throat. "I really don't think I need it anymore," she said softly. "I'd rather someone who..." _nope_, her brain interjected. _Wrong way. Back up, try again_. "I'd rather you keep it. I think it's better off with you."

"That shit hurt, too," he announced pointlessly. "Was like I was being burned up and frozen solid, at the same time." That was the only way to describe it, but it wasn't _quite_ accurate. It was worse than that.

He frowned, but squeezed her hand. "Alright," he told her, leaning over her and slipping it between the pages of a well-worn copy of The Call of the Wild. "I'll keep it safe. You can get it back, any time, if you change your mind," he told her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I know I was part of making you feel that way, and I'm sorry." She tightened her grip on his hand.

She watched him tuck the picture away, ignoring the pang of her conscience and the ache in her chest. "Thank you. I don't know if I ever will, but thank you. I know it'll be safe with you."

"It's okay. Really," he told her, rubbing his thumb across the inside of her wrist. "You made me feel better, too." He sighed in contentment, snuggling further into her, just enjoying the moment. He wasn't delusional; he knew things weren't anywhere near okay. But the room was quiet, and she was so warm now; it felt good, and it was easy to pretend, for now. "You always make me better." That had several meanings, but he wasn't sure she'd realize that. "So glad you're back," he told her truthfully. Even with her dropping the bomb on him like that, he was glad he finally knew, and even more glad to have her around. "I _really_ missed you," he confessed. He knew he had ventured well and truly into pansy-ass territory now, but Quinn was pretty used to him being a giant freaking girl, when they were alone.

He looked down at her, confusedly, for a moment. He didn't really get what the expression on her face was about. If she wanted the photo, she could have it. He didn't need it either. It was already etched into his memory. He'd never forget that beautiful little face.

He gave a mental shrug, and leaned down to kiss her temple. "If you say so," he sighed, settling back down.

This was so hard. She knew what she had to do, but she couldn't possibly let on. She needed to be as natural, as careful and composed as she could manage. So she moved closer to him, closing her eyes. "I'm glad," she whispered. "I'm glad I can do that - and it's nice to be back. It was - _is_," she corrected herself, "good to stop holding on to all of it for a while. You deserved better than that, and it's kind of a relief. And I missed you too." That wasn't a lie, not by any stretch of the imagination. She honestly had, more than she could even have admitted to herself.

"I do," she smiled tremulously when he kissed her head, and pulled him a little closer. "You should probably sleep more," she said thoughtfully. "I mean, I think. I don't know, but I'm sure it couldn't hurt."

"Good," he smiled, slightly. "I'm glad things are a little easier, now you're home." He recalled his nightmare, suddenly and it reminded him of when she'd left. He hadn't noticed anything about her behavior, but he couldn't shake the nagging feeling that was tugging at his gut. "When – _if,_" He shook his head. "If you leave again... Just say goodbye, this time. Ok?" He didn't know why he was worried about it. She was here, with him now, wasn't she? But he had to ask her to do that, just in case.

"Yeah, probably should..." He sighed, but he didn't close his eyes. Even with everything that had happened, this was the first time in a year when he didn't feel _completely_ hopeless, and he didn't want to waste it sleeping.

That was a little too close to the mark. She had to take a few slow breaths to calm her suddenly racing heart before she could manage an answer. "Of course," she promised. "Of course I will - I would."

"I can stay a while longer if it'd help you get some sleep," she offered. "I don't have anything important, class-wise, this afternoon." She was already trying to decide how best she could keep her promise. She didn't know how she'd be able to say goodbye in person, but she'd keep her word somehow.

Puck wasn't the sharpest knife in the kitchen drawer, but the slip of the tongue was enough to tip him off that she wasn't going to stick around forever. He hadn't _really_ expected her to, but it didn't stop the discovery from making breathing suddenly difficult. "Well, thanks for the warning." His voice had a forced, nonchalance to it. Before he could stop himself, he'd leaned over the small space between them and stolen a brief kiss. One minute, the random thought that he couldn't remember the last time they'd kissed, and the next he was pressing his dry lips against hers. He knew it would be the last time, and it sucked.

Not acknowledging what he'd just done, he stood up on the bed, stepped over Quinn, and jumped off the bed. "No, I have to get to the bunker. Berry's probably already waiting for the moving punching bag to get there."

The kiss felt - well, there really weren't any words Quinn could use, even in her head. Like goodbye, and hurt, and loss, and a million futures that could never be. She shut her eyes tightly, trying to stop herself from crying. He'd seen right through her - just like he always had before. He knew what she was going to do. There wasn't anything she could say to take it back now.

"You're in no shape," she whispered. "Stay here and lay down. I'll go. If you push yourself now, you don't know what that's going to do."

She was right. He was still aching horribly, and he didn't want to make his body freak out on him again.

He shook his head. "You're right, but stay, please?" He climbed back onto the bed. "Sam's gonna be a while, and I'd still rather not be alone." He tried not to be embarrassed about being so pathetic, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't even help the way he was behaving. He felt like he was darting all over the place, emotionally.

"Of course I will," she promised, wrapping an arm around him. There wouldn't be any sleep for her, but she'd stay for as long as he needed. "It's probably best if you're not. Alone, I mean. Just in case anything happens. I'll stay until Sam gets back."

He settled back down, in the same place and position. Everything was the same, but the feeling of peace had left him, leaving nothing but despair behind. "Thanks." He really had meant to sound grateful - he _was_ grateful - but it just came out flat and disinterested.

He fell into a long, sullen silence, before he finally spoke. "I was gonna leave too, you know. Before, when you told me... I still might." If she was going, he had nothing to stay for, anyway. What did he have here? A father who'd betrayed him... A job that was mostly paid in food and accommodation; the small wage being saved up, to buy a bed that Sam wouldn't need, if he left... Friends? They wouldn't miss him for long.

The tone of his voice made her sigh despondently. She hadn't been trying to hurt him. He wasn't even supposed to know yet.

"I wish you wouldn't," she admitted softly. "There's kids who need you. You're the best trainer this place has. If you leave, there are going to be a whole lot of people who never learn control, the way that I did from you. And I know you're probably not interested - in that kind of way - but Santana would be heartbroken. I'm not," this was the closest she'd come to actually saying it out loud, "I won't be totally off the grid. And I can come visit."

She looked seriously at him, quirking an eyebrow. "There are people who need you here, Noah. I hope you'll think about that before you make a decision, that's all."

"They don't need me," he sighed. He _wished_ he thought that somebody would miss him if he left, but he knew they wouldn't. "Nobody needs me."

He buried his face in her neck and breathed her in. _It's not working. Why isn't it working? I need it to..._

"They really do," she assured him, rubbing a circle between his shoulder blades. "Noah, if it wasn't for you, I'd never have learned to control mine the way I have. And there's people - like Rachel - that really need your help, even if they don't think they do. Even Santana - she'd miss you, of course, but she needs your help too. That thing she does is going to kill somebody some day."

"Even the Doc," she went on, "as stupid and pigheaded as he is, he'd be lost without you around. You balance out the dumb things he does and keep this place going." She held him tightly, taking shaky breaths. "There are so many people who need you, and you have no idea."

He shook his head and mumbled into her neck. "I don't even _train_ Rachel - not really. Pseudo kickboxing all the way with that one. And Santana needs a trainer with _some_ form of psionic power, not me. I don't know what I'm doing. I mean she's come a long way, but she's progressing way slower than she should, and it isn't _her_ fault, it's mine. I couldn't even get four of my charges to _show up_. They switched mentors back to the ones they were supposed to have, before I stupidly decided I could do it. And Sam still won't use his ability, like at all... Helping you was different." He wasn't sure _why_, but it was. He hadn't realized how stressed he was about the whole thing, until he couldn't stop the self-doubt from pouring out.

"I... I just feel like I don't have a purpose anymore, Quinny." Not there, maybe not anywhere.

"She'll get there," Quinn promised. "She's really scared, Puck. She doesn't like using her power. But she'll get there if you help her. And Santana - it's only her second year. With your help, she'll be something amazing. Training with you, it's the best part of her day." She shook her head. "I don't know about Sam, or why the others didn't show - but that's their loss. You're the best one here, Noah. By a long shot."

She sighed. "I know the feeling. But I swear, Noah, the kids here need you. You have a purpose. You can make them better. Help them become who they're meant to be. And keep Dr. Schue from turning them into copies of himself." She gave him a squeeze. I think it's who you were meant to be - to raise all these kids who are scared of what they can do."

He wasn't convinced, but Quinn seemed to have genuine faith in him - more than he'd earned - and he wasn't going refuse to listen to what she was telling him, so he let her think she was helping.

"Well, I think I _do_ know how to help Sam," he admitted. "He's just scared too. He just needs time to -" he faded out, mid-sentence. "- realize that it's ok to use them. It's just gonna take patience. Then again, you know how patient I am," he chuckled.

"Noah," she nudged him gently. "Come on back, you're gone again. And you see? This is why you need to be here. So you can help kids like him. And I know you can be patient when you need to."

He made an annoyed groan and hid his face against the crook of her neck. "Thanks for telling me," he said, trying to keep he situation light, with the jocular sarcasm.

"Sorry," she murmured, rubbing his back. "I wasn't trying to scare you. It'll be okay. Just close your eyes and breathe."

"M'not scared," he lied, still hiding his face - which was exactly what he did, when he was worried - against her. "Just tired of being out of control. It's... annoying," he understated. He _hated_ nothing more, than losing control.

"I know," Quinn soothed. "A solid rest, though, and everything will be back to normal." She had no idea, of course, but it was the best guess she could offer. "Just close your eyes. You'll be okay."

"Mmhmm," he agreed, as something occurred to him. "I can see you," he announced enthusiastically, before kissing the underside of Quinn's jaw, in celebration of the small triumph. _Stop it,_ a voice in the back of his mind piped up. _She's leaving. Don't make it worse, when she does._

The gesture lasted a second or two longer, before he managed to make himself drop his head back down to where it had been resting in the crook of her neck. He hoped that the possible intent behind the kissing, hadn't had time to register.

"Sleep," he told himself aloud, and closed his eyes, trying to do just that.

"That's good," Quinn managed with a smile, before shivering when his lips met her jaw. It had always been a sensitive spot - one of her _most_ sensitive spots, honestly - and she couldn't deny that he felt good, felt familiar. But it couldn't happen between them, it never would again, and she was relieved when he laid his head down again.

"Yeah," she murmured, a hand in his hair. "Sleep, Noah. Close your eyes, let yourself drift. You're warm, you're safe, and you just need to rest now. You'll be better when you wake, I'm sure of it."

Puck nodded, keeping his eyes closed. "I..." He started to say the words that usually replaced "goodnight" or "goodbye" when talking to Quinn. But he managed to close his mouth, refusing to finish the sentence. He hadn't been about to tell her anything she wanted to hear, or anything she didn't already know. He didn't know how to stop feeling that way about her - or if it was even possible - but acknowledging it, aloud? He could stop doing that.

"I know," was the best Quinn could manage in reply. "I know." She held him against her tightly - they may never be in love again, but that didn't mean she'd ever stopped loving him.

"I'll try not to, anymore" came a murmured promise. With any luck, having her gone would make it possible to be mad at her, so he could work things out.

"You don't..." she bit her lip, trying to think of how to finish the sentence. "You don't have to. Even after...everything, I do too. I probably always will." It was the closest she'd probably ever come to saying it aloud.

"I _do_ have to... I have to try. This - being with you, but not being able to be with you - is just too hard... It mustn't be the same for you." He'd suspected as much for only a few days now - since realizing that she didn't care about him enough to consider his feelings at all, let alone _first_, when she found out about the pregnancy - and it still really hurt. "If it was, then you would be struggling with this..." He sat up and gestured between them. "...too. You'd have kissed me back before. If you'd _ever_ felt the same way about me, as I do about you, you wouldn't have been able to leave me... I couldn't have been away from you that long, on purpose. Not then, not ever."

He suddenly faded back in to visibility, tears rolling steadily down his cheeks - not that he'd noticed them. "And that's fine... I can't make you love me back, at least not like that... But call it what it is. One-sided. I am completely, 100%, in love with you, Quinn. Before you left, I'd wake up every morning and wonder if you were awake yet, and I'd have to resist the urge to call you, in case you weren't. I wanted to be with you all of the time, and when I wasn't, I'd miss the hell out of you. I'd lie awake at night, planning stupid shit to do the next day, just to hear you laugh... And the feeling that made me wanna do all of that girly crap? It's still there, just as strong as ever. You're pretty much my whole world, Quinn."

He sighed and picked Sam's pillow back up, hugging it to his chest. "I'm not... I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad about not feeling the same way about me," he told her. "But I need us both to know, for certain, that you don't. Because half-telling me that you love me - when you can't even say the words - isn't helping me. It'd destroy me if I kept believing it, to find out later, that you don't." He wiped his tears on the pillow, only just noticing them. "I'm sure you like me... care about me, even. But you don't love me, do you?"

"You have no idea," she slammed her eyes shut against the tears that were burning them. "And that's my fault - we both know I'm not very good at emotions. But don't pretend you know how I feel, okay? Of course I struggle with this. You think I'm not," her voice hitched, "picturing her, laying between us, right now? Picturing some future where we're just a happy little family? I am. And if you think that it was easy to be away from you - that I enjoyed it, or that I didn't punch your phone number into my phone a million times - then I guess you must think the same things about me that everyone else does. That I'm just a heartless bitch."

She didn't notice, given that her eyes were still shut, that he'd faded back in. She was too preoccupied trying to order her thoughts. "I..." she stopped, trying to disguise a sob as a cough, "I'm not _in_ love with you, Noah. I wish that I could be - I'd give anything to have that again. I was - god, I can't even express how much I was. But that Quinn - that version of me - she's gone. I can't go back. That doesn't mean that I don't love you, though. If I didn't, I wouldn't have come back at all - although I guess it would have been better for you if I didn't. I'll always care for you, you'll always be my first love and the one I miss when I shut my eyes." She couldn't stop her sob this time, and it was a good thirty seconds before she could speak.

"But you're right. It's...it's not the same anymore. It won't ever be." She sat up as well, drawing her knees to her chest. "I'm sorry." She bowed her head, shrinking away from him as if expecting a blow - he'd never, she knew that, but her subconscious had a hard time differentiating the sort of pain she was feeling from the fear that had always gone along with it when she was younger.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I don't think that about you, I swear." He was barely holding in the sobs now. "I guess I just don't understand how a feeling that strong, can just go away... Hell, I pray to whoever might be listenin', that I find that out, pretty soon, because I sure as shit wish it _would_ go away." He went quiet for a long moment. "I think... I think I wanted to believe you never loved me. I thought it would be easier to let you go, that way... Easier to let go of _us_."

"Hey," he said, quietly. "I know your brain knows I won't hurt you, Quinn. So tell your body that, yeah?" He gave his words a moment to sink in, before reaching over and pulling her into his lap. "I'm sorry," he repeated the apology, whispering it into her ear. "I just needed to know."

"I don't know either," she whispered. "It's not that it goes away. It's just...different." It wasn't a helpful explanation. "And I'm sorry I can't make it easier. But I loved you - I'll always love you. Never doubt that."

She almost flinched, but managed to force herself to stop. "It's okay," she cried, the tears finally escaping her eyes and dripping in slow streams down her cheeks. "I needed to say it. To make it real. I'm so sorry. I'm so _fucking_ sorry I can't be that person for you. That I made such a mess."

"Sshh... It's okay. It's okay... You don't ever have to apologize to me, about any of this. You did what you had to for you and for Beth. I can't ask for any more than that. You two are all that really matter to me , so I'll be ok."

He then noticed that he could see the hand he was wiping his tears away with. "Hey... C'mere," he turned her around in his lap, so she could see him. "Look at me... Notice anything?"

"I do, though," she whispered. "Because I didn't do the right thing by you. And you deserved better."

She looked at him, blinking tears out of her eyes. "Yeah - you need a haircut," she joked weakly, but what she'd meant to be a laugh came out a sob instead, one with so much force that it felt like it was going to rip her in half. She tried to pull away from him - he didn't need to see this. She hadn't cried like this since she'd walked out of the hospital, and she knew it wasn't going to be a pleasant thing to see.

"It's done now. She's where she needs to be, and that's what counts. If we'd have kept her, we'd have been able to give her a safe place to grow up, a decent education, and a lot of love... but that's it. Who knows? Maybe that would have been enough, but I'm sure that now she'll have opportunities. Being raised by such young parents can't be the best thing for a kid, no matter how much they're loved. You did the right thing by _her_- something that I'm not 100% sure I'd have been strong enough to do - and I'm grateful for that."

"Go ahead, Quinny," he told her, pulling her to him, instead of letting her go. "It's alright. I'm here. You can let it out, Babe. It's fine." He began to rub soothing circles into her back.

She tugged at his grip one more time, trying to spare him - and then it hit her like a truck. Everything she'd tried to bury, everything she'd tried to leave behind her. She knew she was losing control, and she could feel her hands, her skin, her tears, freeze and thaw in impossibly random patterns as she beat weakly at his chest. There were apologies, pleadings, a million other things she wanted to say, but all of them were swallowed by the tears, the sobs that wracked her whole frame. She was pretty sure she managed to say "sorry," a few times, but she had no idea if that was only in her head or not.

_The fuck?_ he thought. _Okay, Quinn losing control is almost as scary as when I do it_. He continued to cling to her frozen frame, rubbing her back, and making quiet, comforting sounds, into her ear.

"That's it. Good girl," he all but cooed. He moved Sam's pillow, so that it was behind them, before leaning back on it, pulling her with him. "Shh... rest," he whispered.

"Was supposed to be making you feel better," she whispered, but didn't fight it when he pulled her down with him. She just closed her eyes and hoped that her sleep would be dreamless - but she feared she wasn't anywhere near that lucky.

"You do," he told her, running his fingers through her hair, as she drifted off. He knew he shouldn't... that it would do more damage than good, but he couldn't help but let himself pretend, for a while...


	20. Chapter 20

Rachel walked down the hall towards her room once her last class had finished. She still couldn't access her powers and could feel the shield around her mind. It would still be a few hours before it unraveled and she could reach out again with her mind. Lost in her own thoughts, she didn't notice three boys begin to flank her and it wasn't until they grabbed her that she jumped into action. At first she was able to maneuver out of their grasp and began to fight them off, but when the boys used their powers she was helpless. With no telepathy to stop them, they had free reign over her. She managed to trip one of the boys with a foot sweep and rolled away from another when he tried to grab her, but as she tried to make a break for it the third boy teleported in front of her and blocked her path. The next moment she found herself slammed against the lockers.

"Hey midget! How come you aren't using your Jedi mind tricks on us, hmmm?" one of the boys asked with a smirk. "We came prepared, just in case." Rachel stayed quiet as the second boy held her stiffly against a set of lockers with his telekinesis. "We're going to teach you that freaks like you should know their place. Let's go for a walk." She knew she had no choice, but to follow along until she saw another method of escape or until her telepathy returned. The boys led her out to the shed near the edge of the school and opened the door. She looked at the boys with a brow raised at them. Their leader just smirked and grabbed her arm, staring straight at her for a moment before shoving her into the darkness.

"Have fun with your memories, loser," the boy said as he shut the door with a snicker. She heard a chain being locked and the boys' laughter before the sound became faint and she was left alone. Rachel wondered what the boy had meant by his final words as she began to try to look for a way out. She tried opening the door, but it was held closed solidly. Kicking it and ramming it with her shoulder a couple of times had only ended up with her being sore and no closer to opening the door. With a sigh she slid down the door, closed her eyes, and listened to see if anyone was coming by so that she could call out to them.

It took a few minutes, but she heard a faint nose. It sounded like it was coming from inside the shed though. Opening her eyes, she jumped up and banged against the metal door behind her. In front of her were the teenage boys she remembered from so long ago. Their bodies mangled beyond recognition, but they shuffled towards her. This could be real could it? Is this what the boy meant by memories? The brunette closed her eyes to block out the sights and sounds, figuring that she could ignore it until someone came by. It wasn't until she felt the hand on her arm and smelled the fetid breath that she freaked out, pushing the dead boy away with a cry and backed off to another corner of the shed. "This can't be real...no..." she told herself.

"Oh, but it is...murderer. You killed us without any hesitation and you didn't even face up to it," the bodies hissed out, shambling towards her. She scrambled backwards until her body hit another wall and she began calling out for someone's help. She smashed her fist against the metal to get someone to hear her, all the while keeping an eye on the distance between herself and the corpses. "You heartless killer..." She saw them getting nearer again and ran to another area of the shed, tripping over various objects in her way. She slipped on some kind of garden tool, falling to the ground and cutting her hands but picked herself up quickly increasing the distance between herself and the boys.

"You were hurting my father! You wouldn't stop! I begged you!" Rachel cried out, feeling hot tears begin to trail down her face. "It wasn't my fault, I didn't know how to control it!" She backed up against another wall, clawing and banging against the metal hoping that someone, _anyone _would hear her cries. Finally, she moved back towards the door, slamming against it as hard she possible. She was shaking and hysterical. The brunette could feel the corpses getting closer, but no one was coming to her aid. Curling into herself, she squeezed her eyes shut tightly rocking back and forth while murmuring to herself.

When Rachel hadn't shown up to training, Puck had just assumed that she'd decided she had better things to do with her time, than waste it knocking him on his ass. He'd gone to her room, the library and the common room in search for the girl, before finally asking a few people if they'd seen her. He'd just given up and resolved to chew her out the next day, when some junior boy he didn't recognize walked stopped as he was passing Puck. "I heard you ask about that Berry chick earlier. You might wanna look near the lake... You didn't hear it from me," the boy said in a hushed tone, before continuing down the hall.

Puck stood there, confused for a moment, before heading out though the front door. He made his way to the lake, and looked around. He thought maybe the guy had just been messing with him, until he spotted a senior from the English class he was in last year, leaning on the doorway of the old canoe shed. He had a nasty sneer on his face, and looked like he was guarding something.

He walked over. "Hey, Jagielski... What you doin'?"

"What's it to you?" He asked defensively.

Puck was pretty sure he heard a noise, coming from inside. "_What_ was that?" He used his most threatening tone. "Jagielski... Move. Now."

Rachel could feel them hovering over her, the stench of rotting flesh invaded her nose and she swallowed to keep from being sick. She dug her nails into her arms, drawing blood as she buried her face in her knees. "This isn't real...it can't be real..." she continued mumbling over and over again. This was a living nightmare and she had no way out. Maybe this was fate finally catching up to her. She was finally paying for all of her mistakes. The only things she hoped was that it would be over quickly.

"You gonna make me, Puckerman?" The other boy challenged.

"I will if I have to... _Don't_ make me," he warned.

"Why do you even _care_?"

"Look Jagielski, I've been spoiling for a fight all day. Are you _really_ giving me an opportunity?" He asked, knowing he could easily take the guy. "Really?" He stepped into Jagielski's space.

The two boys stood nose to nose, in silence for a long time, neither willing to back down at first. "Fine," Jagielski shoved past Puck. "Have fun with the arrogant little freak," he threw over his shoulder" as he walked away.

Puck wasn't listening. He was already too busy kicking the hell out of the flimsy wooden door.

Rachel heard a banging coming from the door, but she was too busy trying to block out the feeling of the hands on her arms and the images in her head. She whimpered as she felt them grab her, dragging her back from the door. She heard the whispers in her ears: _murderer, killer, remorseless, violent, undeserving, twisted, wrong_. She trembled violently, wrapped around herself as she bit into her lip the pain only giving a brief reprieve from the nightmare around her.

Finally, he broke through the door, to find Rachel curled up on the floor, in the far corner. She was cowering away from something he couldn't see.

"Rachel?" He rushed forward, crouching down next to her. He hesitated before touching her, but against his better judgment, he laid his hand on her shoulder. She just looked so scared.

Rachel felt another touch this one more gripping and real. She screamed out, figuring it was her last chance. She had no strength left, but she desperately tried to bat the hand away. "Not my fault!" she cried out, shaking her head back and forth violently. The only words coming out of her mouth were a consistent stream of not my fault as she flailed.

The voices had stopped and she could no longer smell the stench of death surrounding her, but still she refused to open her eyes. She could taste the metallic flavor of blood in her mouth after biting into her lip and the pain in her hands and arms was becoming slightly more pronounced. "I'm not...I didn't...not my fault..."

"Rachel... It's ok. It's me, Puck. It's Noah." He stopped touching her, not wanting to frighten her any further. "You're safe now," he told her.

Rachel lifted her head and opened her eyes to look at Puck. She didn't say anything, simply stared at him as her tears ran down her face and she shivered. The boys were gone, but their words and the memories of what she had done stuck with her. She could still smell the rotting flesh and see their visage.

"I'll never be safe..." she felt sick, but her body wouldn't move.

He didn't know what she meant by that, but he didn't ask.

"Okay," he said, quietly. "Come on, let's get you out of here." He carefully helped her to her feet.

Rachel flinched at the touch, but allowed him to help her. She stared at nothing, just kept her gaze straight ahead. She didn't feel the pain anymore, didn't feel the blood staining her clothes and dripping from her fingertips. She felt empty and numb, void of anything. Once on her feet, the brunette swayed violently, quickly rushing outside to be sick. She felt her whole frame shake. There was no energy left in her body. She tried to block out the images in her mind, but the words kept playing over and over like a broken record. She cried silently and wiped her mouth with the back of her sleeve.

Puck just followed her outside and waited for her to finish throwing up. When she had, he walked back over to her. "Come on, we gotta get you cleaned up, and healed," he aid, waiting for her to straighten up again, from where she was standing, doubled over.

Straightening up on wobbly legs, Rachel just nodded and followed Puck silently. She felt void of anything, completely numb. She just wanted to hide in her room forever. To block out the world and curl into herself. She felt dirty...she wanted to scrub away the memories and the words, hoping that maybe she could clean the blackness from her soul.

"Have a seat," he instructed, waving his hand toward the nearest bed, and busying himself with collecting supplies to clean her injuries, before he'd heal them.

"I'm really sorry about this," he said, wincing as he gently took a hold of one of her bloodied hands. "S'gonna sting a whole bunch... Sorry," he repeated.

Rachel sat down and stared blankly at the wall across the room. She felt Puck take her hand, wincing at the touch again. She was in fight or flight mode, but she had no fight left in her body. She didn't feel the sting of the alcohol on her skin. The telepath was still stuck in a fugue state, lost in the swirl of words and images within her mind. It was like being inside a perpetual nightmare and she couldn't claw her way out.

Rachel's complete lack of reaction to anything was really starting to worry him now. Even though he was no longer speaking to Dr. Schuester, he knew he'd have to get a message to him somehow, about the girl's state.

"Alright," he said, as he finished cleaning her up. "Now for the interesting part." He was mostly just breaking the silence, by this point. "I don't wanna be touching where you're cut up, any more than I already had to. I'm not gonna localize my energy, so I can touch somewhere else, instead. So I'm gonna need you to lie down, in case you start to feel funny."

Rachel did as Puck asked and turned her body to lie back on the bed. She stared at the ceiling, trying to focus on the white tiles rather than the racing thoughts shooting through her mind. All she wanted was to get back to her room and curl up on her bed. Nothing seemed real to her anymore except the words those dead boys had whispered in her ear and the visions of their mangled bodies.

"Alright," he brushed her hair away from her face, and put a hand on her forehead. "Showtime," he announced, trying to hide his nerves. He was pretty worried that healing her was going to drain his strength, like healing Quinn had.

He closed his eyes and pushed energy out though his hand, and into Rachel's body, both pleased, and surprised when he wasn't overwhelmed by her power.

Staring blankly at the ceiling, Rachel let Puck's power wash over her and heal her wounds. She hadn't really even noticed much of the physical pain, too busy listening to the voices in her head and seeing the images of her past. Once Puck had finished the healing, she pushed herself up again and slid off of the bed to stand. She still felt ill and just wanted to get back to her room. The brunette quietly began to make her way out of the infirmary towards the solace of her own room.

Puck just watched her go, flopping down onto a chair. He pulled out his phone, and started writing an email to Dr. Schuester.


	21. Chapter 21

Rachel was exhausted. Her body was so tired that she trembled with every movement. It had been almost a day since the boys had shoved her in the shed and forced her to relive her worst memories. The problem was that she couldn't get rid of the images. She hadn't eaten since early the previous morning and constantly warding people away from her door was getting tiring. She had a massive headache, but it was better than being disturbed. After the phone call with Quinn, the brunette had unplugged the device so that she wouldn't be bothered again. She'd locked her door and simply curled away from the rest of the population.

Her body ached with the strain of staying awake, but she couldn't sleep. Every time she tried to close her eyes, the images would appear in full force. The words whispered in her ear, the smell, the blood. She couldn't take it. Rachel already knew what kind of monster she was, but she had thought that maybe there was a way to make up for what she had done. It seemed she had been wrong. There was nothing good inside of her and the sooner she realized that the better. Where did that leave her though? The only comfort that she had was that maybe if she locked herself away no one would find her. She could just fade away into nothing and be done with it.

Everything was in place now, Quinn knew. She'd bullied one of the younger students (there were advantages to being a bitch) into doing her hair for her. It was brutally short now, dyed a pink color that still startled her when she saw herself in the mirror. It was a symbolic new start, and it felt good.

If Dr. Schuester knew what she planned, which she assumed he did given his propensity for snooping, he'd made no effort to stop her. She'd cleared things up as best she could with Puck, and the abortive phone call she'd made to Rachel that morning had been the final kick in the pants she'd needed to get going. Clearly even the one friend she thought she'd made didn't want her around. She'd scribbled a few words on a piece of paper and folded it up, and she was carrying it in her free hand.

_Rachel,_

I'm sorry I misunderstood what our relationship was. Clearly that was a mistake on my part. Not to worry, though. I'm on my way out. Everything I needed to do here is done. And I really can't see any more reasons to stay. Take care of yourself.

-Q

Something - a not-quite physical force that she could only assume Rachel was generating - prevented her from reaching the door. So she got as close as she could and dropped the letter with a sigh. Settling her bag more firmly on her shoulder, she began to walk away.

Rachel felt the warmth of Quinn's presence fill her and she knew the other girl was near her door for a brief moment. She groaned and almost reached out, but then she heard the words again. _Murderer, no remorse, killer._ She felt sick again, but her stomach was empty of any food and she was barely finding the energy to project her power. It would take long for her to pass out now. She would welcome the darkness. Maybe it would allow her to forget. The things awaiting her in unconsciousness couldn't be any worse than what she was dealing with now.

As Quinn's warmth faded, Rachel curled into herself further and felt the blackness begin to creep in. The visions were haunting her and felt more vivid than ever, but she had no strength left. Wherever they would carry her, she was ready to give in. She had nothing left and it was better this way. She only hoped that the other girl eventually worked out everything she needed to figure out.

The brunette felt her power fading and pushed to keep it up, knowing the strain it would cause but she felt nothing. As blood dripped from her nose, the only thing she noticed was the emptiness in her heart and the numbness in her limbs. Her grip around her legs began to slacken as she felt herself begin to fade away. She wasn't scared anymore. She was ready to pay for her crimes and she welcomed the voices and the darkness as it took her. Everything faded out slowly. Sound, light, her power, and eventually her thoughts.

The force that held her away from the door seemed to vanish all at once. Quinn didn't know whether that was on purpose or not, but she thought she'd at least take the chance to deliver her letter properly. She shoved it under the door and knocked to make sure Rachel knew it was there. As she went to turn away she hesitated - had Rachel dropped it for her? But she hadn't come to the door. She didn't know how to interpret that.

And so, as confused and lost as ever, she rapped one more time on the door in a wordless goodbye, and carried on her way. People parted in front of her, another benefit of being a bitch.


	22. Chapter 22

Rachel awoke with a groan as her senses returned. The pounding in her head got stronger and stronger as everything came back in full force and it felt like her mind was tearing itself apart. She had hoped that when the blackness had overrun her the day before, she wouldn't be waking up again but she'd never been very lucky in life. It was no surprise that death wouldn't allow her any more comfort. Uncaring for her mental and physical faculties anymore, she pushed through the extreme pain to ward off her room again feeling the light drip of blood from her nose as her power was forced outward. Standing up from her bed, she wiped the blood with her sleeve and began to stumble towards the bathroom only to see an envelope addressed to her on the floor.

Picking up the note, the brunette opened it and read Quinn's words as a few drops of blood stained the paper. She should have expected it, but her heart still sunk after she finished reading everything. She let the note flutter to the ground and shuffled to the bathroom weakly. Her body was uncooperative. The lack of food and real sleep, along with her constant use of power was taking its toll. The blonde's note had cemented all of the things the visions had told her though. Quinn had left and though Rachel knew it was for the other girl's own good, she felt responsible. If anyone should have been forced to go, it should have been her. The only reason she had stayed was because Quinn had asked her so brokenly. Now she had no reason left and she'd break no promise in going.

Noting the black rings under her eyes and the blood dripping from her nose, she quickly washed her face and gathered a few things. Every movement hurt, but to her it was punishment for everything she had done. Rachel changed as quickly as she could, leaving the bloodied shirt on her bed. She picked up the duffle bag gingerly, stumbling slightly but finding purchase on the wall. Opening her door slowly, she stepped out into the hallway still warding people away but knowing most were in classes. She used the lockers and walls to help her travel to the stairs with the goal of getting off campus to push herself to the limit.

The pain was almost unbearable, but she was nothing if not determined. Leaning against the railing, she made it down the stairwell and to the first floor. She could feel tears well up in her eyes, but she pushed onward and moved towards the front doors. There were a couple of students, but none made a move to attempt to approach her. Actually, they seemed to stare at her strangely. She figured she looked like crap, slumped over and hauling a bag with tears running down her face. She brought her fingers up to wipe away the liquid from her cheeks, but it felt more viscous than normal. Looking down at her hand she saw dark red coating her fingers and released a short, maniacal laugh. It figures that she'd be crying tears of blood. Her mind and body were slowly giving out.

It didn't matter anymore. She had a goal. If her body could just keep it together until she got past the gates then she'd be granted a short reprieve. Rachel knew where she was headed. She would pay for everything finally. She was heading _home_. She'd confess to the families of the boys she'd murdered and let them decide her punishment. She couldn't turn herself in. Conventional prisons would do nothing for someone like her. No...she'd confess, let them dole out their punishment and if she was still alive once they'd sated themselves, she'd find somewhere to live alone for the rest of her cursed life.

She just needed to make it beyond the gates. She could feel herself limping and staggering as she walked. Her vision was blurring, but she continued to push. The fresh air was sobering for a moment, but her body was so run down that it had only offered a brief reprieve. The distance to the front gate seemed like an ocean and the brunette desperately wanted to release her power, but she didn't want to be stopped. This promise to herself was all she had left...

Puck was heading back from the stables. He liked to sit and think, hiding out in his horse's stall, and he had a _lot_ of thinking to do. He briefly actually considered talking to Apache about it... then he decided to start acting like a normal human being and go talk to an actual person... Not about _his_ problems, of course, but he'd promised Quinn he'd check on Rachel.

He didn't need to make it all the way back to the main building, before he found the girl. She looked worse than he felt, and that was saying a lot. Was she bleeding from her _eyes?_

"Rachel?"

Rachel heard someone call her, but kept pushing onwards registering that it was Puck. "Leave me alone..." she said, pushing on towards the exit. She was almost there and then she could rest for a while. The brunette figured she could find a bus station and start on her journey home. At least where her home had been when she was a child.

"Rachel, no. You're hurt..." He shook his head, catching up to her, as she kept going. "Rachel... stop!" He grabbed her wrist, not knowing how else to keep her where she was.

Rachel tensed when Puck touched her and turned to face him, pushing into his mind. She was almost ready to tear through his memories, but she stopped herself pulling back and realizing that he was a friend. The boy had never hurt her. He'd only ever tried to help and she couldn't be a monster to him, even if she knew she was. She skimmed the surface of his memories, seeing his affection for Quinn and the time they'd recently shared. It almost made her sick thinking about how she'd screwed that up for them. "I'm so sorry..." she said in a whisper before forcing him away with her mind.

She stumbled away towards the gate, feeling even worse. Now Rachel knew she'd made the right decision in going back home. This was the only way she'd ever be able to live, or die, absolved of her mistakes.

Puck froze when he felt Rachel inside his mind. It felt more invasive than when Doc did it, even though he could tell - only from the look on her face - that she was holding back a great deal.

Then she was pushing him away with her power and he was forced to let go of her, as he stumbled back and fell to the ground. He already felt drained as it was, having held back his own power that had been pushing against his resistance, all day. He'd been afraid to slip into invisibility, for fear of never regaining control.

"Rachel. Come back!" He managed to yell after her, before his energy finally left him, and he couldn't keep the darkness from advancing upon his consciousness any longer. Just like that, he faded, powerless to stop it.

Rachel saw Puck drop and fade out. She didn't have much energy left, but she couldn't leave him the way he was. Dipping into her final reserves, feeling like her blood was almost boiling, she dipped inside his mind and forced his brain to reset. At least while he was unconscious he would be visible. The strain made her falter for a moment and dizziness passed over her.

She made her way out of the front gate, finally releasing her power as her body bowed from the force. She quickly rushed over to the sewer grating on the street to be sick, seeing blood mixed in with bile. Her body and mind weren't happy and she knew that rest was what she needed, but sleep would be hard to come by. She figured once she got to the bus terminal and purchased her ticket, she could at least stop for a while. Dragging herself onward, the brunette said goodbye to the possibility of a new start and greeted her cursed fate.


	23. Chapter 23

Rachel made it to the bus terminal completely exhausted. She quickly made her way to the bathroom to wash the blood from her nose and eyes, but unfortunately the red pools had taken over the bottom portion of her sclera. It looked like someone had jumped her and punched her in the face a few times with how sunken her features were along with the blood in her eyes. Thankfully, the telepath had thought to bring sunglasses to cover her less than appealing visage. Once she felt she had cleaned up enough, she took two painkillers from her bag and popped them in her mouth. Her skull was pounding and though she knew it would take more than some medication to feel back to normal, the pills were better than nothing.

She stepped out of the washroom and walked to the ticket booth. Hating what she was about to do, she sighed and walked forward. Linking to the booth operator's mind easily, she had the man print her a ticket and quickly released him removing the memory of her ever being there from his mind. She felt awful for using her power that way, but she figured in the end she was heading back to the place where she needed to repent for all of her crimes. Using her power had placed more strain on her body, but thankfully the amount of power hadn't caused anymore external bleeding. Rachel moved to a seat close to the board that would let her know when her bus had arrived.

She flopped down in the chair with a sigh, happy to be off her feet and give her body a chance to rest. The telepath knew she wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon. Her mind was still plagued by visions of the boys she'd killed and their words of malice. She also didn't trust herself not to have an outburst of power if she fell into a nightmare during her sleep. She refused to hurt anyone else again. She could deal with her own pain and fatigue. Once she got home, maybe she wouldn't ever have to worry again. It took a few minutes, but she curled up on the chair and fell into a light rest. It wasn't really sleep, but not full wakefulness either. Her mind was attuned to hearing the arrival of her bus number as she sank into the chair.

Quinn was quickly discovering how difficult it was to actually get anywhere when you had no money and no connections. She'd tried to get the guy running the booth to give her a ticket to somewhere - anywhere - but even her best sob story hadn't been enough. She'd been approached by some sleazy looking guy who'd offered to buy her a ticket in exchange for, well, his offer had been to get her a ride if she gave him a ride. She turned that down, and he moved on to the next vulnerable-looking girl he could find.

She'd curled up on a chair and fallen asleep for the night - no one had bothered her, which was the most amazing part in her mind. She'd spent Friday looking for another way out of town, and spent her last few dollars on a coffee while she wrote Puck her cowardly goodbye letter, and finally returned to the station in the evening in the hopes of finding a more sympathetic ticket agent. She was sure she was dreaming when she saw a familiar face among the crowd. She knew the danger of sneaking up on Rachel Berry by now, so she fell into a seat a couple down from her and spoke her name - loud enough to be heard, but hopefully not enough to scare her.

"Rachel," she tried. "Hey."

Rachel felt the buzz under her skin and in her head, but she ignored it. She figured it was just the ache of having overused her ability and now she was paying the price. The light doze she was in felt better than the acute constant pounding of her headache when she was fully alert. She heard her name being called by a familiar voice and ventured opening her eyes to look over. "Hmmm...?" she moaned, grimacing as she opened her eyes to a fresh wave of nausea and heavy pain in her skull. Even with sunglasses on, the light still bothered her. "Quinn...?"

"Yeah," Quinn confirmed quietly. Rachel didn't seem well, and she didn't want to be overly loud. "Yeah, it's me." Her anger and bitterness about the way their friendship had ended just didn't seem important anymore. They were both here, and they were both alone. "Are you okay? I'd offer to go buy you a drink or some aspirin or something, but I think they usually want you to pay for that stuff."

Rachel looked at Quinn. Other than seeming to be a little frazzled, she was no worse for wear. It made her relax a little knowing the other girl was relatively okay. "I'm...fine. I took some painkillers a few minutes ago," she frowned, had it been a few minutes? She couldn't really tell. She slowly tilted her head to look that the board, relieved that she hadn't missed her bus yet. "Do...you need something?" She was a little concerned. She had her power to help get her home, even if it hurt like a bitch right now. If Quinn had no money, how was she going to get where she needed to go?

"Not to sound like a bitch," Quinn worked hard to keep from raising her voice at all. She didn't know exactly what was wrong, but Rachel was clearly in pain, "but you don't look fine. You kinda look like you got hit by a truck, actually."

She shook her head in answer to the other question. "No. I'll be fine - I can probably get a few bucks for my phone if I need to. I just came over because-" why _had_ she come over? She wasn't totally sure. "Because I thought it'd be nice to have a chance to talk before you left." The pinprick of tears at the back of her eyes surprised her and annoyed her all at the same time. "Where are you headed?"

Rachel offered a half-smile at Quinn's remark. "I'm just a little worn down. This hasn't been...the best week," she said softly. She now knew what the buzzing was, but thankfully her mind and body were too tired to be on high alert and she didn't think she'd have to worry about accidentally establishing a link. The brunette frowned at her companion's explanation for money. "Do you need a ticket somewhere...?" She didn't exactly want Quinn to leave, but obviously they were no longer friends. She'd read the letter and felt guilty enough. Maybe helping the blonde find her way to some other place would help lift the weight slightly. After all, this whole trip was about making amends and she might never get the chance again considering what waited for her in her hometown.

"It's good to see that you are all right. I'm sorry you felt the need to leave the school..." she sighed. "I'm headed home. I haven't been in a long time and I figure I'm due for a visit."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Quinn said, completely honestly. "Is there anything I can do?" She frowned a little at Rachel's offer. "I don't even know where I'd go," she admitted. "I don't have any plan at all, really. And I don't expect charity from you, in any case."

"It's fine, I just," she stopped and pinched the bridge of her nose, exhaling slowly to keep from crying. "There's nothing there for me. Noah's never going to look at me the same way again, and the only friend I thought I'd made...well..." she looked away. She hadn't meant to lay this at Rachel's feet. It wasn't her fault.

"Are you," she tried instead, "going to see your dads?"

Rachel shrugged. "I'm not the only one who's had a shitty time of it. As for helping, I definitely don't think you can help me with my problems. I'm finding the solution for them though," she quirked her mouth slightly. "It wouldn't be charity. If you don't have a plan, why leave?" She tilted her head curiously at Quinn.

"I know you may think that Noah has some ill will towards you, but you're completely mistaken. He loves you quite a great deal," she explained, remembering the surface memory she had seen of the two of them. "I'm actually quite surprised you left considering...I figured..." She sighed and shrugged loosely, not finishing the thought. She had figured the blonde wanted Puck the same way since she had seen them so intimate in that memory.

"Am I...?" she straightened up for a second before sliding into a tight smile. "Yeah, something like that..."

"That doesn't mean you don't deserve sympathy," Quinn protested with a frown. "I'm sorry there's nothing I can do, all the same. I wish I could make things better for you." She frowned again. "Yeah, it really would. And why...because I wanted to be anywhere but there, if that makes any sense."

"He might," she agreed, dabbing at her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket, "but not like he thinks he does. And I can't ever...we're not ever going to be in that same place we were. Before all this. I see him, and it's like - I want my baby. There with us. And that's never going to happen. I just want to move on."

She raised an eyebrow. "I'm not a genius, but I know when I'm being lied to. What's going on, Rachel? Where are you really going? And why? Why are_ you_ leaving?"

"I don't...not yours or anyone else," Rachel stated darkly. "It's kind of you to say. You should go back though. At least until you're on your feet enough to move on. No one will hurt you there..." She almost laughed at her own statement. 'At least not anymore...' she thought.

The telepath sighed and sat up, figuring she should at least look alert whether she felt it or not. "Either way, he cares and he hurts. Perhaps you can heal together. Whether you are close or far apart, you'll always be connected. You may wish to move on, but it seems you're more inclined to run away. Running away solves nothing. Believe me..." She knew from experience. It was biting her back now.

"I am going home. I wasn't lying. I don't know if I'll get to see my fathers or not, but I have some _things_ I need to...put right. It's finally time for me to do so..." she smiled sadly at the blonde.

"Don't say that," Quinn sighed. "Everybody's done bad things, that doesn't mean they don't deserve sympathy. "And it's not a matter of being hurt - it's a matter of not wanting to be there. Doctor Schue thinks I'm some kind of slut that corrupted his kid, I ruined their relationship, and I just need to be somewhere without so many memories. No matter where that is."

"Just because we're connected doesn't mean I don't hurt him by being there. At least this way he can get past me, get over me, whatever. And I'm good at running away. It's kind of a speciality of mine. Even if it hurts, at least it's a different kind of hurt."

"I really don't like the sound of what you're telling me," Quinn sighed. "Rachel, if you're going to do something that will hurt you - you have to stop punishing yourself for whatever happened in your past. Going back, retracing old wounds, it's not going to help anything. Trust me - going back doesn't work. At all."

Rachel shook her head and then winced at the pain it caused. "The things I've done aren't just things that can be forgiven with an apology, Quinn..." she said, rubbing her forehead. "Doctor Schuester seems all right to me, but then I haven't had much interaction with him barring the original meeting to go to McKinley. I doubt he thinks that of you. You said he was the one who helped you when you were pregnant and confided in him." She smiled tentatively.

"Look, I'll give you a little hint that most people don't know. Being a telepath gives you insight into people. Sometimes it's unwanted or accidental. I've learned a lot over the years trying to control my ability. He'll never stop loving you. Whether you're face to face with him or thousands of miles away. If you want to turn your relationship into something not dominated by pain and hurt, you need to work at it. Talk things though, yell, fight, do whatever you need to do. Eventually, you'll move past the pain and things will be all right. Whether they are romantic or platonic," she said, running her hand through her hair. "I'm not punishing myself, Quinn. I couldn't possibly make things right that way. I need to atone for the things I did. I see that now..."

'Funny how it took a couple of bullies and a day without my ability to figure that out,' she thought with a sardonic smile. _When you have nothing to hide behind anymore, the skeletons come bursting out of your closet._

"Whatever you've done, Rachel, whether those things are easy to forgive or not, it still doesn't mean you don't deserve sympathy, because you're obviously suffering." She sighed - she didn't want to fight. It was the opposite of why she'd come to talk to the brunette. "Yeah," she agreed, "but I'm pretty sure now that he only did that to get me out of the way."

"Maybe you're right," Quinn acknowledged, her voice a hoarse whisper. "But I'm not strong enough for that. I can't...I just can't." Her head snapped up at Rachel's words. "Wait - what bullies? What happened to you?"

Rachel just nodded at Quinn's words. "I want you to waste sympathy on someone like me, Quinn..." she said softly. "Well, you seem pretty sure of the way a lot of people feel. Are you telepathic as well and just haven't told me?" She raised an eyebrow along with her question that could be seen above the frames of her glasses. "You can only do what you feel you're ready for. I just hope things work out for you..."

She froze at the blonde's outburst and groaned. She must have connected with Quinn without knowing it. _Why do you always do things without my say so around Quinn you stupid brain!?_ she yelled at herself internally, cutting the link. "Nothing happened. They locked me in the shed and left me alone with my memories. It was...sobering..." she sighed and rubbed her arms to comfort herself.

"Nothing would be 'wasted' on you, Rachel. I know you don't think much of yourself, but I think a lot of you." She blushed a little at the admission, but it was true - she wasn't going to take it back. She gave Rachel her best glare. "No, I'm not telepathic. But I know how people look at me. And I hope they do too," she sighed.

"Jesus," she whispered. "Rachel - god, I'm so sorry, I didn't know. I'd never have said those things in my letter if I knew," she started to cry, feeling horribly ashamed of herself. "But you can't - they're just ignorant assholes, Rachel, and whatever they did isn't some sort of divine sign that you should go home and get punished or atone or whatever, it's just assholes being assholes. Rachel, please...don't let them do this to you." She buried her face in her hands, feeling like complete shit.

Rachel looked at Quinn quizzically. She didn't understand why the blonde seemed to have so much faith in her. "Well, Fabray, sometimes you need to dig deeper than just what you see," she smirked slightly. When the other girl began to cry, she wasn't sure what to do. She awkwardly leaned over to rub Quinn's back gently. "Don't...don't cry, Quinn. It's fine. It's not your fault, okay?" she tried to soothe her friend. "What they did wasn't the problem. What _I've_ done is. I relived some things. Things that I've tried to forget. The reasons I had to leave in the first place..."

She tried to block the images from her mind, but she was tired and she just didn't have the energy. "I'm not the person you seem to think I am, Fabray. Like I said, sometimes you need to dig under the surface. In my case, you won't like what you find." Her voice turned cold at the admission and she pulled away from the blonde.

"Well, not all of us are telepaths," Quinn gave her a ghost of a smile. "The surface is the best we can do." She appreciated the contact, but it didn't stop her tears. "Yeah, it is my fault. I should have asked, not just assumed that you were being rude. I'm so stupid."

When Rachel pulled away, Quinn gave her the most fearsome look she could manage with tears still drying on her cheeks. "Listen to me. Whatever you may have done in the past, it doesn't change who you are. I've seen you try. I've seen you keep yourself from killing me, no matter how easy it might have been. I've seen you sacrifice your own health to keep me safe. So don't tell me you're some kind of horrible monster, because I _don't believe it_!" she hissed. "You want me to look deeper? Show me!" she dared the brunette, offering a hand. "_Show me!_"

Rachel frowned and pursed her lips. "It's _not_ your fault, Quinn. I was being rude. I just...I was dealing with a lot of stuff. Like you said, you're not a telepath and even if you were, I wouldn't have let you read me," she growled out in frustration. Why was Quinn always so insistent on these things? She reeled back slightly at the blonde's ferocity, but stood her ground. "No. I'm not showing you what I've done, Quinn. Whether you believe me or not," she stated coldly.

"It's not being rude if you're recovering from trauma," Quinn shook her head. "Even if you couldn't tell me what that trauma was, it still doesn't give me the right to judge you for being rude without knowing the facts."

She kept her hand held out. "Rachel Berry," she growled - she was invested in this now, and she wasn't backing down. "You have two choices right now. You can give me your _fucking_ hand and let me see what you think you need to atone for, or you can use your power and knock me down. Because one way or the other, I get what I want." She stood, leaving her bag of possessions in the seat, and stood expectantly in front of the other girl. "Choice is yours."

Rachel watched Quinn stand and shrunk back. "No...Quinn. I can't..." she shook her head. She wasn't strong enough to fight the blonde, but it would hurt to have to see it all again. To make that connection with her as weak as she was, wouldn't end well for either of them. "You don't want this, Fabray...just sit down." She looked everywhere but at the taller, angry girl already knowing that this wasn't going to end in her favor.

"Rachel," Quinn lowered her voice and crouched down in front of her. "Look - I don't know if you can stop me from doing what I want right now. Even if you can't, I'd rather not reach out and touch you without your permission. What I _want_ is for you to reach out and take my hand, and stop telling me what I want. What I _want_ is for us to go through whatever memory haunts you so much, so I can see what you think you need to atone for. Please," she kept her voice soft and held her hand out. "I'm begging you, Rachel. Let me do this with you."

Rachel looked at Quinn, really taking in her appearance since her mind was so frazzled. "You look so different, Quinn. You cut your hair and colored it...Pink, huh? It quite suits you," she said, almost reaching out to feel it but remembering herself for a moment and stopping. She was stalling for time and she knew it, but the memories and feelings she held within were not for anyone else to have to experience. The pink-haired girl in front of her had already carried so much weight. Enough that Quinn had felt her only escape was leaving the safety of the school. How could she justifiably allow her to take on more? No. She wasn't a case of pity that her friend needed to support. She needed to be steadfast. "You look kind of like a cute gangster," she shrugged with a half-smile, still changing the topic of conversation and hoping it worked.

Quinn reached up with the hand she wasn't holding out and ran it through her hair. "Thank you. It felt like I needed something to symbolize my new start." She laughed a little, caught by surprise. "A cute gangster? I don't know whether to laugh or hit you."

Her voice dropped nearly to a whisper. "Please just take my hand, Rachel. You know that I'll beg if I need to. But just - please let me do this. I know that you think you need to - I don't know, that you need to be punished, to suffer, but you _don't_ have to do it alone. Let me share it with you. _Please_."

Rachel displayed a genuine smile. "Well, good luck on your new start. I know how hard it is to start from the beginning again," she nodded. "I'd rather you laugh. I'm not really in the mood to be punched right now." She stared at Quinn through the darkened lenses of her glasses. "You can keep asking, Quinn...you can beg, but I'm not putting you through that. I can't..." she shook her head. It would be too much. She wouldn't be able to control it and the other girl didn't know what she was asking. Rachel wasn't that selfish.

"So are you planning on stealing a motorcycle and joining a biker gang too?" she asked, trying again to steer the conversation away from her memories. She was adamant in not giving in. She wouldn't be able to stop Quinn if she physically tried, she was too weak but she hoped that her friend would drop it. Maybe the pink-haired girl would realize she really didn't want what was being asked.

"Thank you," Quinn nodded. "I hope it works out - although I guess it'll work better when I figure out what the hell it is I'm doing. And it's a deal, I won't punch you," she smiled. She ignored Rachel's protests, beginning to sense that there was no hope of getting through to her via conversation and that something more drastic might be required. "Well," she kept her voice light, "I would look good on a bike. But I think I'd need a few years in the gym before I could steal one from a biker. Maybe they'd accept me as a trainee and let me ride a Vespa or something."

She sent up a silent prayer that someday Rachel would forgive her for what she was about to do. Quickly - too quickly, she hoped, for Rachel to discern her intent - she leaned in and put a hand on her too-warm forehead, and braced for the inevitable connection.

"You're most welcome, Quinn. And thank you," Rachel smiled and released a short laugh. Listening to her friend take about being a biker made her forget her troubles for a few moments. "You would look good on a bike, but I think it's best to take things slow." She chuckled and relaxed, looking to the board for her bus again. As Quinn moved in, she turned and saw the movement coming but her dulled reflexes and weakened senses prevented her from dodging the touch. She quickly tried to bring her hand up to grab the other girl's, but she felt her power buzzing.

"No..." she cried weakly, gritting her teeth. Due to her lethargic state and her own will of trying to stop the transfer of memories, the images of her past played out like an old slideshow. The visions flicked rapidly from Rachel to Quinn as the brunette tried to hold them back. The pain for her was intense as she felt her energy diminish as she fought against the tide of memories. Her nose began to bleed again and she felt the warm, viscous tears begin to run from her eyes leaking down her cheeks past her glasses. With a groan, everything began to fade out. The memories stopped and she tipped forward against Quinn's chest.

Her fingers intertwined with the other girl and she felt the only thing keeping her from oblivion was the connection she still shared with the taller girl. She was feeding off Quinn's own energy. Rachel had never been so mentally and physically exhausted. If Quinn released her, she wasn't sure what would happen at this point. "Don't...let go," she whispered brokenly. She could feel herself in some kind of fugue state, but she had no energy left to pull out at this point. Her connection with Quinn was keeping her afloat.

She'd braced herself, but the flood of memories still hit her like a truck. She was overwhelmed by all of them, but she held on tight. She wanted to understand the other girl, to share her pain, to even take it on herself if she could, and no matter how much it hurt that's what she was going to do. When Rachel began to bleed she gasped, but she interlaced her fingers with the other girl's and held on tight. Her head was pounding, there were bright lights flashing behind her eyes, and she could feel sobs bursting out of her that she couldn't control.

"I'm not letting go," she swore. "God," her teeth clenched involuntarily. "You poor girl," she whispered. "You poor, broken girl - you didn't really grow up thinking all of that was your fault, did you? How could you ever think that? They were going to kill him. And you were a child, who wanted to save her daddy. Rachel, it's not your fault! You certainly don't deserve to be _punished_ for it! God," she whispered again. "So much pain. Rachel, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you've had to carry this alone. I'm not letting go, though. Not now, and not ever, okay?" Her free arm wrapped around Rachel and pulled her close. "I'm right here with you."

Rachel took a threaded breath and released it against Quinn. Her yes were closed. Everything was black anyways, she figured it would take time to recuperate. "I'm a murderer..." she said weakly, not really able to do much but stay leaning against the other girl. "I don't think I'm going to be able to move for a little while. Just...just don't let go of my hand..." She trembled violently in Quinn's arms.

"You're _not_," Quinn whispered. "You have so much pain in you, you've taken so much into yourself, but it _wasn't your fault_. You wouldn't do it again, knowing what you know now, but when it happened it wasn't your fault. You're not some cold-blooded killer, you were just a scared child." She held Rachel against her. "I'm not letting go, Rach, just hold onto me. I'm not going anywhere, I'm not letting go. Stay with me, be here with me. I'll take care of you."

Rachel tried to squeeze Quinn's hand but it only ended up a half-hearted attempt. "Everything hurts...I thought if I went home...maybe it would stop hurting. It could finally all be over," she breathed out quietly. Her whole body throbbed, but her head most of all. The pounding in her skull almost blocked everything else out. She was actually glad of her impaired vision. If she had been able to see, she wasn't sure she'd be able to handle it. She already felt nauseous enough. More stimuli would only make things worse. "I'm sorry, Quinn. I couldn't stop it. I was too weak. You shouldn't have had to see that...you're so fucking stubborn..." She groaned as a jolt of pain shot through her.

Quinn squeezed back, giving Rachel a smile that she couldn't see. "It won't help," she promised, "if there's one thing I know, it's that going back won't help. And having it all over isn't an answer. Dealing with it is." She hugged Rachel more tightly. "Don't be sorry. As you mentioned, I am really fucking stubborn. I wanted to see. I wanted to _help_. Let me help. Let me do anything I can for you." She stroked Rachel's hair, trying to soothe her as best she could. "What can I do? What can I do to make it hurt less? Not - not your memories, we'll get to that, but the physical pain. How can I help it?"

Rachel chuckled but grimaced as the movement caused pain. "When did you get so wise, Fabray?" she asked with a hint of mirth. "I don't know what you can do for me, Quinn. I've never been so exhausted. I've only ever gone through this once but it was never as bad. I've been running on no food and no sleep for the past few days. The constant use of my ability...I don't know. The only reason I'm talking right now is because of you." She wasn't sure of anything at the moment. The last time she'd used her power to the point of exhaustion was when she'd defended herself against a telekinetic a year ago and she'd ended up the victor. It had taken her a couple of days to feel fully back to normal; however, she hadn't come to the point of needing to feed off of someone else.

"Right now...you're the only thing keeping grounded. Our connection is letting me use your energy, but...I don't know. I've never been like this before. If you let me go...I don't really know what will happen. The brain is like a computer. If it completely loses its charge..." she didn't finish the sentence. "I can't keep you here though. You need to make a new start and you've already done more than enough for me. You can take my ticket. It'll get you far enough away from here. It's on my left coat pocket."

"It's the hair dye," Quinn chuckled. "It supercharged my brain." She rocked Rachel a little as she listened, and clucked her tongue when she suggested Quinn leave her there. "Don't be dumb," she said gently, keeping the sting out of her words. "I'm not leaving. I'm not risking anything bad happening to you, and I'm not letting your charge run out. We're going to sit here for as long as we need to until you feel like you can move, and then we're going to find a place to lie down. I can't afford a hotel room or anything, but we'll find somewhere. We'll stay there until you're completely recharged, and then we'll figure out what our next step is."

Rachel huffed for a moment. "I resent that remark, Quinn Fabray," she frowned against the other girl. "I most likely just need rest. The good news is that I don't dream when I'm so blindly exhausted, but I don't exactly have money either. My power isn't an option either, obviously." She sighed and tried to move slightly, pushing lightly off of Quinn only to fall back against her. "This is highly frustrating...I'm sure it is for you as well considering you're stuck with me right now. I deeply apologize, Quinn..."

"I'm sure you do," Quinn laughed softly, wincing at the pain it caused. "I'm not stuck with you, Rachel. I chose to be here, I continue to _choose_ to be here with you. I want to help. I want to be," she opened up as best she could, "I want to be part of your life, if you'll let me. But again, that discussion can wait. For now, come with me. There's got to be somebody that'll give me fifty bucks for a working iPhone. Then we'll go get a room." She kissed the top of Rachel's head, a comforting gesture rather than an intimate one.

"Do you think you can walk? As long as you lean on me, and I hold your hand? I promise we won't go far, just the nearest motel."

"Okay, okay, you stubborn mule," Rachel said as lightly as possible. "You don't need to sell your phone. Besides, you might need it. We can refund the bus ticket at the counter. We'll get more than enough for it. The bus doesn't arrive for another little while I think so we still have enough time." She used Quinn's assistance to stand and leaned heavily against the taller girl. She trusted Quinn to be her eyes and dug through her pocket for the ticket, holding it out for the other girl to take.

"That's me," Quinn agreed with a little smile. "Well, that sounds like a better plan anyway." She held Rachel upright as best she could as she took the ticket, and then led her carefully to the counter, making sure to never stop the skin-on-skin contact they shared. She traded in the ticket, trying to ignore the creepy stare of the attendant at the sight of two girls holding hands, and quickly counted the money. "You were right," she whispered, leading Rachel away toward the exit of the station. "It's more than enough. Come on, we'll find a place close by."

If she was honest with herself, Quinn was close to sobbing with relief. Rachel was still here, she wasn't forcing Quinn to leave, and she even had the opportunity to help her. That was all she'd been hoping for and more when she'd seen the other girl in the station. "Are you okay to walk there now," she asked softly, squeezing Rachel's hand, "or do you need to sit for a few minutes first?"

Rachel breathed deeply as she felt Quinn guiding her out of the terminal and back towards the ticket counter. She stayed quiet as her friend completed the refund and though she felt slightly bad that she hadn't paid for the ticket in the first place, this was kind of an emergency. "Rachel Berry is always right. You should figure this out. It'll save you frustration in the future," she said smugly, resting against Quinn. "I'm okay..." She really just wanted to not have to be latching onto her companion like some telepathic vampire. It wasn't right and Rachel already felt guilty enough for everything else. "Let's keep going. I trust you to lead the way."

"I'll keep that in mind," Quinn smirked, even as she tightened her grip. "I'll have go get you to make all my decisions for me from now on, then." The brunette was incredibly frustrating, but Quinn couldn't imagine life without her anymore. She wanted nothing more than to stay at her side, help her through the unimaginable pain she'd felt in the other girl's memories.

"Okay," she murmured, not wanting to risk hurting Rachel's head by speaking too loudly. "Come on, then. It's a straight walk to the door, there's nothing in our way. I'll guide you. I swear I won't let anything hurt you."

"I don't believe I am the best decision maker, Quinn. You're the one helping me, remember?" Rachel released a sad chuckle and shook her head gently against Quinn's neck. "I trust you..." She surprised herself by saying those words, but she knew they were true. Quinn was helping her. Saving her life, most likely. The other girl was looking after her with no motive or reasoning behind it. There would always be something about Quinn that prompted her to lower her defenses. Plus there was the strange connection that she couldn't seem to prevent each time they were in the presence of one another.

"Well, you're letting me help you," Quinn grinned. "That seems like a good decision to me." She felt Rachel lean on her and held her as tightly as she could. "I'm so grateful that you do, Rachel, I just - I can't even tell you what that means to me. Because I trust you too, implicitly." She couldn't have explained why that was so, but it was. Looking after her, taking care of her, felt like the most natural thing in the world. She hoped she'd never have to stop. They pushed through the door into the cool air, and Quinn picked a random direction. It was a train station - they couldn't be far from a place to stay, no matter which way they went.

Rachel grunted at the response. "I didn't exactly have much choice in the matter, did I?" she stated blandly, but underneath the sarcasm was a layer of warmth. "I don't know why you trust me after everything I've done and the things you've seen..." As they moved out into the fresh air, she felt a shiver run down her body and another wave of fatigue washed over her. She clung to Quinn a bit more tightly and allowed the other girl to lead her down the street. Hopefully rest wouldn't be too far behind. Even with borrowing Quinn's energy slightly, her emergency defense mechanism would only last so long. Eventually the connection would weaken and sever and she'd...be lost.

"No," Quinn shook her head, smiling, "you really didn't. And I trust you, Rachel, because I know the person you _are_. I've seen the person you _were_ and all the horrible things she went through, but that's not you. Not anymore. You've come so far, and I just wish you could see it."

She felt Rachel shiver and pulled her closer. "C'mon," she urged, "let's get you inside, okay?" She saw a buzzing neon sign in the evening light. "There," she said. "There's one. It's going to be gross, but it'll have a bed." She led Rachel inside, carefully navigating the lobby and negotating for a full night from a manager who was clearly expecting them to book the room for an hour. "This way," she led Rachel into a rickety elevator and pushed the button for the third floor. "We're almost there, okay, sweetheart?" the term of endearment slipped out without her notice. "Almost there."

Rachel wanted to cry, but she didn't even have the energy for that anymore. Besides, she wasn't even sure she could cry natural tears anymore. She'd never shared her past before. It was too horrible. The way she had lived had simply been about survival. Then she'd met Quinn and everything had turned upside down. She'd never been so out of control as she was around the natural blonde. Thinking about it now, she wasn't sure if it was a control issue or something else. She was too tired to wonder.

At Quinn's insistence, she grumped her acknowledgement against her friend and let the motion push her body along. "Thank you..." she whispered out, not really able to say much more. The brunette felt her body trembling from the strain and her grip around the other girl loosened slightly.

Quinn hadn't had a chance to think long enough to be scared yet, but the elevator ride gave her pause. She didn't know what to do anymore, how to help except to be there for her friend. She could only hope it was enough. She felt Rachel's grip loosen and grabbed her hand more tightly as she pulled her close. "No, no, no," she breathed. "Just a minute longer, Rach, just stay with me for one more minute, okay?" She led her down the hall and opened the door awkwardly, kicking it shut behind them with her heel. She sat Rachel on the end of the bed and, one-handed, unbuttoned her own jeans and kicked them off before removing Rachel's.

"Sorry," she breathed, making sure their legs were touching as she removed her shirt and then Rachel's as well, gasping when she dislodged Rachel's glasses and she saw the blood in her eyes. "I want to make sure I don't lose contact with you, even when we're lying down." She pushed the sheets back and eased Rachel into a lying position, keeping hold of her hand and climbing in beside her. She wrapped herself around the brunette, touching skin to skin in every possibly spot, and prayed she'd done enough. "Rest, Rachel, it's okay. I'm right here. You're safe, and I swear to god I won't leave you. Not now, not ever. Just sleep."

Rachel simply nodded against Quinn, unable to find the strength for more than that. "'M tired..." she said, sounding almost drunk. She felt the gentleness of Quinn's touch as the other girl removed her clothes, limply allowing the movement. She had no energy left to assist her friend. As the sunglasses tumbled from her face, she blinked slightly and groaned as her eyes protested the light. The pounding in her head once again made itself known. She felt Quinn lay her down in the bed and wrap around her tenderly.

The brunette instinctively curled into her companion, using her last vestiges of strength to burrow into Quinn's surrounding warmth, her face nuzzling the other girl's neck. "S'warm. You smell good..." she drawled lazily, closing her eyes once again.

"I know you are, Rachel, I know," Quinn whispered as she felt the other girl curl up against her. She was going to stay awake as long as she possibly could, to keep an eye on her companion. She owed it to her, to take care of her. To be sure that she was safe. And on a selfish level, she was aware that the girl was the closest thing she had to a friend. "You do too, Rachel," she kissed her cheek. "Rest now. I'll take care of you."

Rachel felt herself fading out, but her connection to Quinn was only getting stronger. She was too tired to sever it and she felt her own presence wrap itself around the other girl's protectively and tenderly as she began to fall asleep.

Quinn felt...well, she couldn't put words to it, but she felt something flow from Rachel to her, and it felt warm and comforting. She smiled, holding Rachel against her as if she could protect her from the entire world. The hotel room may have been gross and dingy, and she didn't want to think about who'd used the bed before them, but she honestly wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else in the world right then.


	24. Chapter 24

Puck was waiting for Santana, just inside the bunker. His abilities were still all over the place and he was back to being invisible. He'd been that way since coming round from his encounter with Rachel earlier that day, and had cancelled all of his other training sessions.

Santana had no idea what was going on at the school. Quinn's stuff was gone - again - and she'd heard rumors about Rachel either leaving as well or trying to or something - she didn't know how much of it was true. And where was Dr. Schue through all this?

She got to the bunker and found herself alone - but then she wondered if it was a test of some sort. She reached out with her ability the best she could and found Puck's - light, she'd decided to call it. She focused as best she could and turned him mostly visible. "There you are," she said, proud of herself.

He gave her his best smile, which was dull, but at least it was there. He was relieved that she seemed to be able to fade him back in, somewhat.

"C'mere," he said, holding his hand out to her. He needed her to negate his power fully. "Please?"

Santana didn't have the faintest idea what to say. She knew he must be devastated about Quinn leaving, but how could she even begin to broach that subject? Instead she approached him slowly, taking his hand like it was fragile. She let the sensation of power wash over her and, doing what she assumed he was asking for, snuffed each of the lights she could see in him until he was completely visible. She released him quickly, shaking a little from the effort.

"Much better," she smiled hesitantly.

His weak smile brightened a little. "Thank you," he said quietly, his voice sounded unlike his own. Smaller, thinner, weaker. "I... I needed that."

He was about to say something about pushing on with her training, after she'd missed so much, on his account, when he suddenly faded back out. He tried to fight it, but it was stronger than he was, in that moment.

The realization made him crumple to the ground, in utter despair.

She didn't like this at all. He sounded half-dead. And when he faded out again, she jumped.

"If this is a test," she reached out for him, knowing she couldn't keep this up forever, "I'm going to fail. I can only do this a few more times before I need to sleep for a while. This kind of focus is hard." He wasn't where she expected him to be, though. She reached out through her power again and found him on the ground. "Puck," she whispered. "What the hell's going on?"

Reaching out and putting a hand on what must be his back, she snuffed out each light in turn and swayed a little on her feet. "There," she said dazedly. "Better."

"S'not a test," he mumbled. "M'sorry..." He faded back in. "It's getting too hard to hold on," he told her. "It's going to happen again..." He knew it, and he figured she should be aware, so it didn't alarm her when he faded again. "You don't..." and out he went "... have to keep trying."

"Puck," she breathed. "You've gotta stop doing that. It can't be healthy." She reached out for him again and snuffed each light, although the last few took a supreme effort, and fell heavily to the ground beside him, gasping. "Only one," she sighed, "or two more. All I can do."

"I can't help it," he told her. "You don't have to do it anymore," he promised. "I just needed it the one time. It doesn't hurt anymore... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked." He stayed visible for a few more moments, before he was pulled into nothingness, once more.

_"Jesucristo,"_ Santana cursed. "It doesn't matter if it hurts, _estupido_, it's not good to be that out of control." She reached for him and forced every bit of energy she could muster into the connection. His lights went out - snuffed all at once - but she fell backward when it was over, struggling to even stay conscious. "There," she muttered, "better. Maybe."

"What part of _I can't help it_, isn't computing?" He asked, lacking in energy, himself. "I _know_ that. I've been fighting this - on and off - for days, and I don't know what to do. The pain's pretty much there the whole time I'm faded out now, but it's not helping me snap out of it, like it should," he explained.

He faded back in, feeling like he might be able to hold onto it a little better - although not indefinitely - this time. "I told you," he frowned. "Stop doing that... If you pass out, I'm in no shape to heal you, or even get you back to the building," he told her. "But thanks."

"I know," she murmured, shaking her head in an effort to clear her blurry vision. "I'll do what I can, if I can help."

She chuckled, although it hurt a little. "Not the boss of me," she stuck her tongue out. "And you're welcome."

"Two can play that game," he told her, taking her hand in his. He closed his eyes and pushed energy that he couldn't afford to spare, into Santana. He felt himself flicker out, for a moment. Taking that as a sign that he should stop giving away his energy, he stopped and resumed focusing on staying visible.

He kept his eyes closed, unaware that he was still clutching Santana's hand, and let his head fall back against the wall.

"So," he said after a moment. "What's new?"

Santana frowned, but it was hard to criticize him when her vision got clearer. She laid there beside him, trying to phrase an answer to his question. "I have no idea," she finally decided on. "Feels like everything's changed in just a couple of days, and I missed all of it."

Puck had no idea what she was talking about. He had only ventured out of his room for an hour, the previous day, to attend Rachel's training session that never was.

"Why? What do you mean?" He asked, letting his head fall sideways, onto her shoulder.

In another context, she'd have been thrilled that his head was on her shoulder. But not now - right now she was just tired. "Well, there's - whatever happened with Quinn," she nearly didn't say it, but he'd asked, "and I heard Rachel left too. There's all kinds of crazy rumors going around, and I have no idea what's true right now."

"Quinn's gone?" He asked, sounding more surprised than he really was. She _had_ inadvertently warned him, but he hadn't expected it to be so soon, and she hadn't said goodbye, like she'd promised. "Okay," he sighed.

"I'll go look for Rachel, later, see what's what," he announced. He felt bad that he hadn't been to check on her yet, but he'd been in no state to do anything either. He'd only dragged himself out to see Santana for his own selfish reasons. He felt bad about that too.

"I think so - her stuff is gone, anyway. She didn't say anything to me. But she didn't last time, either." She rested her head on his.

"I just don't know how everything got so messed up in just a couple of days. I can go and look for her if you want, but I think you've talked to her more than I have." She closed her eyes and sighed. "I thought stuff was getting better, you know?"

"She promised me she'd say goodbye," he whispered, fading out. "She fucking promised!" Within seconds, he was up and beating the hell out of the nearby punching bag. He had no idea where the sudden burst of energy had come from.

Just as suddenly as it had waxed, the energy waned, and he had to slump back down to the floor. "Yeah... Well life's just a bunch of bullshit," he mumbled. "Nothing stays ok for long."

Santana flinched, not expecting the sudden movement. When he faded out again she sighed disappointedly. "Sometimes it does," she promised him, sliding along the floor until she bumped into him. "Sometimes it will." She reached for him and pushed out with all the energy she had left, fading him back in once more. She drifted in and out of consciousness for a moment before landing less than firmly on the "awake" side of the equation.

"It'll get better," she swore, "It will. I know it doesn't seem like it, but it will."

"Stop. Doing. That," he told her, seriously.

He let out a resigned sigh. "I won't hold my breath," he told her, pulling her against him.

"Then st'p fading," Santana slurred, still barely conscious as he pulled her closer. "An' I won't have to. Simple. An' don' hold your breath. Can't help wi' that."

He let out a weak chuckle. "Alright."

He already felt the pull of invisibility tugging at his insides. _Fuck it_ he told himself and slid his hand into his bag that was lying next to him on the floor. He removed his book and slid the photograph of Beth out from between the pages. He began to focus on that, trying to settle his power back down.

Santana settled herself against him, feeling exhausted. She watched his hand as it withdrew the photo and gasped at what she saw. "Is that..." she stopped herself, knowing it was really none of her business.

"Yeah," he said softly, a kind of awe in his voice. "It's her," he told her, stroking his thumb across the tiny face in the photograph, like it was the real thing. He had to try exceptionally hard not to say something truly obnoxious like "isn't she beautiful?" or something. He didn't need anyone to confirm his assessment, anyway.

"She's amazing," Santana whispered. "She looks like you. She's going to break so many hearts when she grows up."

"She really is," he confirmed. _Already broke her daddy's heart._

Santana felt herself tear up a little and felt vaguely ridiculous. It wasn't _her_ baby, after all - she just felt so bad for Puck. That this little picture was all he had...she couldn't imagine how he felt.

"You know, it's weird, how much better this picture makes me feel," he told her. "I've never even seen her, didn't see Quinn while she was pregnant, and I've only _known_ about her for a week... But something about seeing that she's real... I dunno... It makes all this sadness not matter so much..." He shook his head. "Sorry, I'm rambling. I don't even know what I'm saying, or if it makes sense. It's stupid. I'm sorry."

"I don't think it's stupid," she assured him. "Seeing that, it means she's not just some name, some statistic. She's there, and she's real, and she's going to have a good life. And I think that's why it makes the sadness not matter so much - you know there's something good that's come out of it."

"Yeah," he agreed, making the effort to give her his best smile. He'd only been able to let this much out to Santana because he was just so exhausted that the last of his emotional defenses had crashed to the ground. "Thanks," he said, hooking an arm around her and pulling her closer. It was getting colder, but he didn't have the energy to move just yet - and he was _almost_ certain that it was the same for her. "You figure things out for me a _lot_ better than my girl, Apache," he chuckled quietly.

She let herself be pulled closer - she was in no shape to try and get up, in any case. "Anytime. And I'm flattered at being compared to a horse, so thank you for that." She nudged him gently. "It's just what every girl wants to hear."

"At least I said you were _better_ at helping me than my horse... I could have said you're almost as good," he teased, nudging her back.

"Yeah, yeah - see who turns you visible next time," she laughed, which promptly turned into a yawn.

"Wouldn't it be cool if she could do that though?" He noticed her yawning, and was just as tired himself, but he still hadn't regained quite enough energy yet. He was getting bored though, his existential crisis now on pause.

"Wanna make out?" He deadpanned. People tended to have very interesting responses to that... Boredom solved.

Santana spluttered, lost for a response. She decided, for embarrassment's sake and the lack of a witty reply, she'd just go with it and see how far he was going to push the joke. "Sure," she replied in a low voice. "But let's skip the boring parts. Take your pants off."

He had to bite his lip to keep a straight face when she started spluttering. _Reaction achieved_.

_Take off my... Oh she has no idea who she's messing with!_ "Score!" He immediately reached for his belt and started undoing the buckle, making like he was perfectly eager. But it wasn't like he was _actually_ going to try to take them off... Probably.

So, he was going to play along, was he? Fine. Shaking off the cobwebs and ignoring the ache in her bones, she reached down and grabbed the hem of her shirt, pulling it up just far enough that the dark lace of her bra would be visible. She hesitated, then, waiting to see what his next move would be.

Interesting. _Very_ interesting. Fine... Noah Puckerman never backs down. Ever. Besides, the more clothes he took off, the more she was likely to take off, and Noah Puckerman never turns down a free show, either. And so far? _Nice_.

He yanked his belt through the loops in his jeans and swiftly pulled his shirt over his head with absolutely no hesitation, before moving his hands back to his zipper, pretending he was totally unaware of the stand-off situation.

_Fuck it_, Santana thought. He'd seen her in a sports bra before, this wasn't much different. Or so she told herself as she pulled her shirt the rest of the way off. She pulled away and looked him over with a raised eyebrow. She couldn't deny he looked good without his shirt on. She gestured for him to go on, waiting to see just how far the game was going to go.

Santana just went up in "Puckable ratings" from "kinda cute" to "actually super hot", and that didn't sit well with Puck, at all. He'd started this thing as a way to poke harmless fun at her little crush on him, (harmless, because she was unaware he knew about it) and now he'd _never_ get into her pants. Crap!

Oh well, the damage was done, so he decided to carry on pushing. By this point he was really curious to find out what she was made of, anyway. He unabashedly let his hand linger suggestively on his crotch, whilst leering at her - it wasn't like he'd been unable to feel her eyes on him as he removed his shirt, anyway - before leaning forward to remove his boots and socks, so that he _could_ remove his jeans, if necessary.

"I feel like I should say this now," he said, keeping his tone serious and pretty honest sounding. "If you're just messing with me - as some _cruel_ joke - now's probably a good time to speak up. I'm going commando today, and bailing on a guy after you get him completely in the buff is just _really_ uncalled for. It'd be bad enough now..." He said the last part under his breath - but still just loud enough for her to hear - as he finished his task and turned to her and gave her what probably looked like a sincere apprehensive look. "Ok?" He moved his hand back to his fly and waited for her response. Playing the clueless card was all he had left before the pants would come off, but it wasn't like he actually cared if she saw his junk, anyway... _Hell, she might even go for it_ the idiot voice in his head piped up, before he silenced it.

Santana had a brief internal debate. She'd started this without thinking, and now she had a dilemna on her hands. She didn't know anymore if he was playing with her, or if he was being sincere, and she was sitting here with just her bra on up top, and _god_ did she feel dumb all of a sudden. She only wished she could discern whether this was an act, of if he was actually worried about her running away. She was somewhere better arousal and abject terror, and she had no idea what to do next.

"I...uhh," she sounded stupid, and she knew it, "it's not a joke," she said in a choked voice. "But maybe," she swallowed, "maybe we should stop." She bit her lip. "Actually, that wouldn't be fair. I got to see you topless," she reached behind herself and undid the clasp of her bra, but held it between her fingers. "Only fair I should return the favor before we quit."

Okay, now _he_ was torn. He'd won their little game, and he couldn't help but feel a little smug about that, even if he hadn't exactly been fighting fair. But he couldn't very well tell her he was messing with her, because that would just be even meaner than doing it in the first place.

Then she was undoing her bra and offering to show him her breasts... Boobs just made everything ten times more complicated.

He couldn't hold back the sigh of disappointment in his decision, even if it was the right thing to do. "You shou-" He began to speak, but his voice roughened and deepened, a little, by arousal. He cleared his throat - as if it would help - and started again. "You shouldn't... I mean, not that I don't wanna see - I really, _really_ do - but you're clearly not comfortable, and that's not right. I won't make you do something you don't wanna do. Besides, it's really not the same thing when a guy's shirtless... Although I'm not really sure why..." He shrugged. "It's ok, I swear." He gave her a small, apologetic smile. He felt like the total ass that he was being, for messing with her, but at least he was trying to make amends.

There was a brief moment of indignation - he didn't want to see her? - but her rational brain snuffed that like a candle and she only felt ashamed and stupid. She really had no idea what had come over her, and she'd likely made things deeply uncomfortable between them at a time when he really needed her.

But she took the out she was given and re-hooked the clasp of her bra, eyes kept firmly directed at the ground. "Sorry," she muttered, her cheeks flushed and tears of embarrassment stinging the back of her eyes. "I don't know...I'm sorry," she finished lamely.

Logically, he knew he should tread carefully, otherwise there'd likely be water works, but he'd always been a rather impulsive creature by nature.

He waited until her underwear was safely fastened, before leaning forward and tilting her head up, with a finger beneath her chin.

"It's ok," he told her, closing the gap between them and pressing their lips together in a chaste, but lingering kiss. "We should get dressed," he announced, after pulling away. If they didn't, he was sure something more than kissing would happen. He wasn't ready for that, even he knew it. Quinn and he were over long ago, and although deep down that was true, for almost as long, he still loved her, and needed to process the fact that she was gone. Probably for good this time. So any moving on with Santana - he hadn't a clue where her head was at - or anyone else, would have to progress slowly. Even if it _started_ soon.

Santana did her best not to lean into the kiss - it was supposed to be a conciliatory gesture, she knew, not the start of something more. Quinn had _just_ left, and the last thing she wanted to do was finally get a chance to act on her crush only to screw it up by doing something he wasn't ready for. Or that she wasn't. Because while she thought she was, she hadn't taken even a second to examine how she felt while she was pulling her shirt off.

"Yeah," she agreed softly when he moved away. "We probably should." She grabbed her top from where she'd tossed it and pulled it over her head, still feeling embarrassed and stupid.

Puck pulled his own shirt back on and then moved on to his socks and boots. "What's that face for?" He reached out and stroked her jaw. "You're gonna give me a complex," he joked. "You look depressed or somethin'."

"Not depressed," she shook her head. "Just feeling a little silly, that's all. I really shouldn't have done that. You've got enough on your plate without me being insane too." She tried a hesitant smile on, but she was sure it didn't look all that convincing.

He was on the cusp of revealing that he had been fully aware of what was happening, the whole time. He wanted to ease her embarrassment, but had to remind himself that it was way too late for it not to just make things worse.

"No harm, no foul," he told her. "Not your fault I'm extra-specially-gullible, when I haven't gotten off in - like - forever, and a hot chick tells me to take my clothes off." He had to try hard to resist the urge to smack himself in the head. "Sorry... I included too much information in there, didn't I?"

"Be as insane as you like. I actually feel pretty _good_, right now, all things considered. I'm not having to fight off fading, and I don't know how much of is your ability, and how much of it is _you_, but some of it is... I know it... So I'm not complaining," he told her with a genuine smile.

He leant in again, so that heir lips were _almost_ touching, but not quite there. "Santana..." he breathed out her name in an almost inaudible whisper, but it was loud enough for to hear the plea for her to make her own move. He closed his eyes and waited, for a kiss? For a slap? For her to push him away and tell him he was being an idiot? He didn't know, but he'd find out...

"Maybe a little too much," she smiled, though, taking any sting out of the words. "But that's okay."

She blushed a bit more, which she would have guessed was impossible, and smiled back at him. "I'm glad I can do that, power or not," she said softly. "You deserve it."

She felt her head spin when he leaned close to her, but managed to retain enough common sense that when she kissed him - she wasn't _that_ strong willed, thank you - it was only a chaste one. She brushed her hair back with one hand and rested her forehead against his. "We shouldn't - not this quick. If you - I mean if you're interested, at all, I want to go slow with you. Do this right, you know? We could watch a movie or something, just hang out for a while. Would that," she bit her lip nervously, "would that be okay?"

"Well _damn_, if I didn't think this _was_ going slow" he said, completely seriously - it was, right? - but he let out a chuckle. "Sure," he smiled at her. "Sounds good."

"It's a date, then," she smiled back. "Your room or mine?"

"Depends. Do we want the big TV or guaranteed privacy?" He asked, seriously. He _loved_ that TV.

"Well, I hate to inconvenience your roommate," she grinned, "but a bigger TV does sound like a nice bonus."

"Sam'll either deal with it or I'll, like..." He scrunched his face up in deep thought. "I don't know what I'll do to him... Kick him outta the bed for a week, or something."

"Sounds like a fair deal," she agreed, before the oddity of the phrase caught up with her and she frowned. Kick him out of bed? Were they - well, clearly they weren't together if he was going to go out with her, right?

She leaned away and started to stand - and weaved a little as the overuse of her ability caught up with her again. She sat back down with a sigh. "Okay. This time for sure," she promised herself out loud. "You can do it."

When she tried - and failed - to stand, he looked at his watch. "Speaking of which, I'd better haul ass, or he'll be doing an impression of a starfish in the middle of the bed again, and I won't be able to wake him up for love, nor money."

He dragged himself to his feet, wobbling more than he thought he would. He'd been feeling okay, for a while now, but standing up didn't agree with him. He put his bag over his shoulder - making sure he hadn't left his book or the photo behind - and held his hand out for Santana, so he could pull her to her feet.

"Well, we can't have that," Santana grinned. She reached out gingerly and took his hand, bracing herself for the pain and weariness that was going to come from getting pulled up.

He counted to three, before he yanked her to her feet, then against him, wrapping an arm tightly around her waist.

"I'll write you a note, excusing you from assembly in the morning, so you can sleep in." He tucked a few strands of loose hair, behind her ear. "Call it an apology, for being the worst mentor to ever exist... There's gotta be a reason I started out with seven students, but only have two left." He forced out a chuckle to hide that he wasn't joking. "You don't even want to know how little I'mma get paid now." Again, he pretended he was kidding.

"I'm proud of you though" he told her. "What you did earlier, took a lot of control... That said, if you _ever_ do something that dangerous again, we're gonna have problems. We clear?" he asked, pulling her even tighter, against his body.

The world turned sideways for a second, but she managed not to stagger too badly as she leaned against him.

"Cool," she grinned as he brushed her hair back. "Sleep sounds good. But you don't need to apologize. You're a good mentor - I can't say why you have less students, but it's not because you're bad at it. And if I need to start tipping you after our sessions, just let me know," she tried to keep her tone light.

"Thanks," she blinked as the world went a little fuzzy around the edges again. "And as long as you don't make me have to do it again, I promise I won't." She let herself get pulled closer, grateful for the support to keep her standing.

"If I was on speaking terms with my employer, I'd talk to him about actually getting paid for everything else I do around here. Like medic duty and looking after the horses. I mean, if it was anyone else's job, they'd be paid for it, right?" He mused. "I think Schuester's trying to make sure I can't save up for college or something... Controlling asshole."

"I didn't _make_ you do it in the first place," he frowned. "But I'll try to keep it under control," he promised. "You good to walk?"

"Seems fair to me," Santana agreed. Without any idea what had gone on between them, she didn't want to ask why Puck wasn't speaking to Dr. Schuester, or speculate about him keeping Puck from going to college.

"Well, I wasn't going to leave you invisible," she countered. "I - I think so," she blinked hard to clear her vision. "Are _you_?"

"Right? Not gonna happen though," he let out a frustrated sigh. "Maybe I should just stop doing the things he doesn't pay me for. I'm sure he'd get the point pretty fast."

"Think so," he replied, stepping away from her. He went silent for a moment, before finally making the decision to tentatively offer her his hand. Nothing was really happening between them yet, and he was worried she'd think he was being weird. "Shall we, then?"

"Not a bad idea," she mused. "I don't think it'd take long. You do a lot around here. Way more than anybody notices."

She weaved a little, but it wasn't as bad as she'd feared. "We shall," she took his hand, not thinking much of it. They were still friends, no matter what their new relationship might end up being. Friends could hold hands.

"Yeah. His ears don't seem to work too well, most of the time, but I'm sure his eyes are just fine. He'll see that things aren't magically getting done anymore," he stated. "Doubt it'll have any impact other than me getting a telling off, but it's the principle of the thing."

He couldn't help the grin that spread across his face when she took his hand. "You sure you don't wanna get a few laps of the lake in, before we go?" He smirked.

"Well, I hope it'll be a lesson for him," she bit her lip. "Not like he's going to hire anyone else to do it, is he? Seems only fair he pays you the same as he would them."

"Twenty bucks says you'd drop before me this time," she chuckled. "But still - no."

"Which one of us stood up under their own steam?" He bumped her shoulder with his, as they waked.

"Fair point," she conceded with a grin. "I would have got up eventually, though. Maybe."

"Sure," he gave an incredulous chuckle. "Would that have happened before, or after I died of old age, waiting for it to happen?"

She grinned. "Maybe after. What's your point?"

"Remind me again, why I put up with you...?" He chuckled and squeezed her hand. "Pain in the ass," he joked.

"Because I'm just that damn cute," she tossed her hair and squeezed his hand. "No one can resist."

He pretended to ponder it for a long moment. "No... No, I don't think that's it," he smirked.

"I'm pretty sure," she nodded, laughing. "Everyone loves me, this I know," she sang to the tune of the old Sunday school song, "because my mama told me so..."

He snorted out a laugh. "Ok, you're cute," he conceded.

"I know," Santana laughed. "Everyone comes around sooner or later."

"...Obnoxiously so," he added on to his previous statement, with a laugh.

"I'm taking that as a compliment anyway," she giggled. "And if you try and convince me otherwise I'll stick my fingers in my ears and go "la la la la la la" until you're done. Fair warning."

"Remind me how old you turned, last week... Was it seven or eight? I forget..." he smirked.

"See, now you've got me wondering if talking to you in a little girl voice is a turn on for you, and that's why you're asking. Would Pucky wike that?" she couldn't keep a straight face and finally burst out laughing.

"See, for a split second, I considered going along with that joke... Can't do it." He shook his head.

"Probably for the best," she snorted. "It could only have gotten more disturbing from there, really."

"I _really_ don't see how, but I'd rather not find out either," he said, opening the front door and holding it for her.

"Oh, trust me. It can _always_ get more disturbing." She winked at him and walked through the front door.

"You worry me, Lopez," he said seriously, following her inside.

"Honestly?" she leaned over to whisper conspiratorially, "I worry me too."

"I'm glad you at least have the good sense to be concerned," he smirked. "Crazy people don't usually tend to realize they're nuts." Puck poked his tongue out at her.

"So, tomorrow..." He said, changing the subject. "I'll text you when I manage to get rid of Trouty Mouth, and you can bring a couple of DVDs over... If you're lucky, I might make you dinner... And by that, I mean I'll sneak into the kitchen and steal some of what they're serving," he laughed.

"I didn't realize you were a psych major," she stuck her tongue out in reply.

"Sounds like a hell of a plan," Santana laughed. "Maybe I'll bring over some of the latest care package for you too. It'll be an epic feast."

"I'm full of surprises," he laughed.

"It _is_ one hell of a plan," he nodded, smiling. "Movie on the big TV, stolen food and/or your mama's cooking _and_ my fantastic company? You're a lucky girl." He began climbing the stairs.

"I'll bet," she winked, following him up the stairs. "And I know _exactly_ how lucky I am," she said softly, a smile in her voice.

"Ugh... Stairs. Hurt," he announced grumpily, climbing the second flight.

"Not," Santana winced, "not fun. No. We need an elevator. Or somebody with TK."

"Right? And who's big idea was it to put the girls' accommodation on the 5th floor? But you're not allowed to complain, because it's your fault we hurt, right now," he squeezed her hand and smiled to make sure she knew he was kidding.

"Oh, really?" Santana chuckled, squeezing his hand in return. "Someday you'll have to explain why that is. For now, I'm more concerned with making it to my bed before I fall over, so you can tell me later."

"Tell ya now... s'not exactly complicated," he offered. "You could'a just not negated my ability. Then I wouldn't have had to _waste_ my energy, so you didn't, like, pass out... or die... or something."

"Right," Santana rolled her eyes, stopping to lean against the wall for a second. "I could have just left you invisible and in pain. Very humanitarian of me."

"Well I wasn't _in pain_ after the first time," he argued. "And I'll probably just fade out once I run out of distractions, anyway," he shrugged.

"See, now you're just trying to make me worry. Are you going to have enough distractions in your room? Because I'll stay there and just keep doing this if I have to."

"Am not. Just keeping things firmly in the realm of reality." He explained with a frown. "You can't distract me forever, babe. Sammy might still be awake, to talk to for a bit," he lied, trying to make her feel better. He knew Sam would be out like a light by now. He'd gotten up stupidly early that morning.

"Alright," Santana bit her lip. "I hate to leave you if he ends up not being awake, though."

"I'll be ok. When - _if_ - I fade out, I'll manage. It doesn't really scare me anymore," he told her. "And I'm getting used to the pain too, I think," he offered a small smile.

She wasn't sure what to say to that. It wasn't exactly reassuring. The best she could manage was a noncommittal sound and a little nod.

"Come on," he said, tugging her along, as they continued their journey up the last few flights of stairs. "I know you're not gonna stop stressing about it unless I come hang with you, so lets skip the frowning, and worried sighing, yeah? You win," he rolled his eyes, but then brought her hand up to his face and kissed her knuckles.

"Thank you," Santana smiled, relieved. "I really do appreciate that." She grinned when he kissed her hand, touched by the gesture.

"You're very welcome," he smiled. "I don't want you to worry. Besides," he confessed. "I lied. I'm 99.9% certain that Sammy's sprawled out, snoring away, as we speak."

"Thank God," he said when they reached the top of the stairs.

"Well, whatever the reason, I'm glad. I'll actually be able to sleep if I know you're okay." She doubled over at the top of the stairs, trying to catch her breath. "Seconded," she wheezed.

"Come on," he kept on pulling her along, really wanting to just lay down. "We'll rest when we're inside. Besides, I don't particularly wanna get caught up here" he pointed out.

"No, probably not," Santana agreed, limping the rest of the way to the room as he pulled her along. She unlocked the door and pushed it open, staggering toward the bed. "Close," she gestured. "Please."

He nodded. "It would be bad news. Even in this half assed attempt at a school," he replied, shutting the door behind them.

Santana mumbled a reply, essentially falling face first onto her bed. "Sorry," she muttered, getting up again and gesturing to her bed. "Would you rather take this one?"

He looked at her in confusion for a moment, before realizing what she was getting at. "Nah, s'cool," he shook his head. "How overly-sensitive do you think I am?" Puck asked with a tired laugh, dumping his bag and kicking off his shoes.

He looked over at what was Quinn's bed. There was none of her stuff on the table next to it, like there used to be. It looked like it could have been any girl's - the lilac sheets she'd put on it being the only indicator that she'd slept there at all. He could handle that.

"I mean I understand you wanting to get me in your bed and everything, but don't you think that's a bit soon? We should like, go out on a date first," he smirked.

She was going to protest, say something quick-witted - but she was too tired for that. So she just stuck her tongue out and fell back into her bed fully clothed. "Quiet," she mumbled. "Sleep now."

_So much for distraction. I'd probably have had better luck with Sam._ "Ok," he said quietly. "Have good dreams," he instructed, taking his book from his bag and putting it on the desk. He switched the reading lamp on and switched the main light off, before sitting down in the desk chair.

"Sorry," she muttered, turning over so she was on her side. "I was only half-serious." She looked at him, illuminated by the reading lamp, and raised an eyebrow. "Call of the Wild? Interesting choice."

He shrugged. "You're tired. It's fine. I stopped needing a baby-sitter quite some time ago... I think it was some time last month," he joked.

He looked at the cover of the book, as if to confirm that was in fact what he was reading. Turns out, it _was_. Imagine that. "Yeah, s'my favorite. I must have read this book fifty times," he exaggerated. He rubbed the back of his neck, self consciously, embarrassed about his confession.

"Sounds about right," Santana agreed. "But I'm not too tired to stay up for a while."

"I don't think I ever have," she admitted. "Read the synopsis on Wikipedia once when I had to bs about it for a paper, but that's about the closest I've come. What makes it your favorite?"

"You're so funny, I forgot to laugh," he poked his tongue out.

"You bs in papers about having read shit like _Shakespeare_, not The Call of the Wild," he scoffed. "Just... I dunno. I sort of relate to a lot of the themes it brings up. Especially the whole being thrown from one environment into a completely different one and becoming so immersed in the new place that the old one seems like another life? Like Buck was a domesticated dog, but he eventually becomes the leader of the wolf pack, right?" _That's me_.

"See? You're just proving my point," she chuckled.

"I like Shakespeare," she stuck her tongue out. "And I can see why you like it," a smile turned up the corner of her mouth. "It sounds a lot like the life story of someone I know. Minus the whole, being a dog thing."

"I take back what I said before, about you being cute," he chuckled.

"Shakespeare's for pretentious dullards who want other people to think they're smart," he smirked. "I dunno... It's not like I don't get called a dog, with alarming regularity," he laughed.

"Aww," Santana pouted. "I'll have to try harder."

"Lit doesn't get any better than Romeo and Juliet. Just saying. 'What light, through yonder window breaks?' It's English like it's meant to be, all fancy and shit. But I'm sure your book's good too," she teased. "And I don't think a horn dog counts as being called a dog."

"That shit's not English. It's gibberish... Just saying," he retorted. "Purple prose doesn't necessarily mean good writing. Dude never wrote a single line of a play that didn't sound like fucking poetry. Not one. What's the point? People don't talk like that. Never did."

"Woof!" was all he said in response to the last part.

"The poetry _is_ the point," Santana laughed. "And it's not purple prose. You're making sound like fucking Twilight or something. There's beauty in his writing, because it's more than just conversation. It's the language idealized, made into something more."

"Arf," she shot back with a chuckle.

"You're officially a pretencious dullard, Lopez," he announced. "I don't think I can associate with you anymore... I'm scared that the stench of literary hipsterism might not wash off. And yes, that is a word," he confirmed with a laugh.

"I feel the urge to howl at you, but I'm pretty sure someone'd hear me, and all hell would break loose," he said. "I can't believe I thought it was a good idea to come here. I mean, you're my student, it's totally not appropriate for me to be in your room all night... I mean, I really should _not_ be rooming with Sam, either. And_ definitely_ not in the same bed, especially... considering. I bet Doc's just, I dunno, _forgotten_ to move him or something... Sorry. I'm rambling. I'll shut up." He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"If I'm a hipster, I'm going to need those big black glasses," Santana mused. "Where can I get a pair of those?"

"Yeah, that might not be the best idea," she chuckled. "And don't worry about it - it's not like you're a _teacher_, kind of teacher. Not like you're that Ryerson guy I've heard so much about. You're a tutor. And you're, what, two years older than me? I don't think you're in a position where you're taking advantage of me - or Sam, for that matter - and we're both fully clothed anyway. Don't stress about it. I dragged you up here, so I take full responsibility."

"You mean like these?" He picked his own reading glasses up off the desk and put them on his face, with a chuckle. "In my defense, I wear them ironically."

"I am though," he frowned. "I'm in _exactly_ the same position of authority as Ryerson. I only seem less creepy than that freak because I'm so much younger than him, but really, I'm no different. I pretty much order you around, every single day, and nine times out of ten, you do what you're told. I have power of you, and Sam... Oh God, Sam! He must hate me... You have no idea how _inappropriately_ I've been behaving, where he's concerned... Not cool..."

He faded out - deliberately this time - not wanting her to look at him right then. He felt like some kind of sicko. Just because nobody told him "no", didn't make it ok.

"Such a hipster," she shook her head with a chuckle.

"Quit it," she snapped. "Don't make me fade you back in, because you know I will. It's not the same thing. You can't fail us, and we follow your orders because we want to be better at what we do, not because you're some kind of authority figure we can't say no to. And if Sam felt threatened or forced into anything by you, he'd have told the doc, or somebody. Just quit it."

He faded back in, afraid that she'd use her power again. "Fine," he said, putting his book back down. He didn't think she really believed what she'd just said, but he wasn't going to argue.

"Don't just 'fine' me," she rolled her eyes. "I'll sit here and repeat myself all night until you believe me, you know that, right?"

"How about _okay_? That better?" Puck shot back.

He sighed in frustration. "Sorry, I've just had a really bad week, and I'm exhausted, but my brain won't shut up, for five fucking minutes, and it's making me dwell on shit that I wouldn't normally even think about. I can't help it."

Santana recoiled a little at the venom in his words, but she didn't take it personally. She knew that the Quinn thing alone must be taking its toll on him, never mind whatever else he had going on. She didn't say anything, just got up and walked over to stand behind the chair. She cracked her knuckles and went to work, massaging his neck as best she could.

He exhaled audibly and willed himself to relax, closing his eyes and letting his head roll forward. He was surprised to find that she was actually pretty good at this, most people were afraid to make it hurt a little, really dig in like it was usually necessary to get the knots out.

"Mmm... That feels good," he admitted after a few moments.

"I got a lot of practice at home," Santana smiled. "My mama gets really bad headaches, and sometimes this helps her. When I was home for the summer she made me give her one of these almost every day."

"I can see why," he told her, letting out a quiet laugh. "I could totally get used to this."

"Well, she repays me with her cooking," Santana smirked. "What are you offering?"

He smirked, even though she couldn't see his face. "I dunno... What have I got that you _want?_"

"Loaded question," she chuckled softly, still working at his neck.

"Why, whatever do you mean?" He joked.

"As if you didn't know," she smirked. "Smart-ass."

He zoned out for a moment, finally starting to feel some of the tension in his body, ebbing away. "Mmm? What? Did you just say something about my ass?" He asked, confused.

"Why don't you lay down before you hurt yourself?" she smiled, kissing the top of his head. "Try and get some sleep?"

He let out a quiet groan of disappointment when she stopped working on his shoulders, but reached back and took her hand. "Will you come lay down with me?" He pulled her around in front of him, so he could look at her pleadingly. "Please? I promise to keep my hands to myself. I've gotten real good at it," he sounded almost proud of that accomplishment, and he was. Almost three weeks of sharing a bed with one of the hottest guys he'd ever set eyes on, and barely an incident. It really was quite the achievement.

It would be the first time she'd been in bed with a boy since she wore footie pajamas, but they were both fully clothed. At least, that's how she tried to rationalize it when she nodded and gave him her best smile. "Sure," she agreed. "C'mon." She pulled him up and toward Quinn's bed.

Somehow, the fact that she'd agreed so easily made him feel pathetic, like she pitied him so much, that it wasn't a big deal for her to humor him. But he was tired, and he needed this. He'd not had to deal with a night alone, since his world had fallen down around his ears, a week ago, and he was grateful that she wasn't making him do it now.

He followed her to the bed, lifted the covers and flopped down in it. As he lay there, he noticed the familiar smell of Quinn's perfume. For a long moment, his tired brain couldn't piece together where it was coming from. _The sheets! Why didn't I think of that?_ He did his best to ignore the pit in his stomach, giving Santana a weak smile and gesturing for her to join him.

She saw the uncomfortable expression on his face, and imagined it was something to do with laying in Quinn's bed, but it was too late to do anything about that now. She curled up beside him and softly whispered "goodnight," hoping that he'd be able to sleep.

"Goodnight," he replied, hesitating for a few seconds before pulling her close and placing a kiss on her forehead. "Thank you," he whispered, before falling straight into blissful oblivion, his lips still pressed against her skin.


	25. Chapter 25

Quinn had managed to stay awake the entire night, but only barely. She was fighting both exhaustion and the near-constant replay of the events she'd seen in Rachel's memoires - her heart broke anew every time she saw them. She thought she finally had a handle on the other girl - why she acted the way she did, why she was so eager to push people away. But here knowing why wasn't going to help the other girl at all. She actually felt _responsible_ for what had happened when she was a child, and Quinn was determined to find a way to help her understand it wasn't the case at all. They'd been the actions of a child, scared of the vicious, possibly fatal beating her father was receiving, and one who'd been unaware of the extent of her power on top of that. She wasn't some psychopath, who'd killed those people because she chose to.

And speaking of psychopaths, whoever the "bullies" were that Rachel had mentioned had best watch their backs. If she ever found out who they were, they wouldn't last a day. Because she _would_ kill them, as slowly and painfully as she could manage. And she didn't even care what kind of person that made her - they'd hurt this fragile, broken girl in her arms, and she would be damned if she let them get away with it. But that was a concern for another day. For now she looked down tenderly at the brunette, planting a soft kiss on her cheek and murmuring comforting words in her ear. She was the only thing in the world that mattered right now.

Rachel felt herself waking up, but as the world came into focus so did the resounding ache all over her body. She burrowed into the warmth around her with a grunt, wrapping her arms tightly around the soft object. She let the scent of vanilla and lilac soothe her senses as she tried to block out the pounding that was beginning to take over her skull. Finally focusing on her consciousness without opening her eyes, the brunette could still feel the active connection in her head and it made her realize where she was causing her to stiffen slightly. No longer was she using Quinn's energy, they were just connected.

She gentle stroked across her friend's consciousness in a gesture of thanks, ensuring that she didn't violate any of Quinn's privacy before pulling back and closing the connection. Rachel shivered slightly at the loss of warmth in her mind, frowning at her own reaction but knowing that she couldn't hold onto the pink-haired girl like that. "I'm sorry for everything yesterday," she tentatively whispered out. "I think I'm all right to be on my own now though. You don't have to stay with me anymore. You can use the rest of the money left over from the ticket to help you get where you need to go. I...thank you for all you've done for me."

Quinn smiled when the other girl burrowed into her - she was really cute when she was sleeping - and the feeling of Rachel's light touch of her mind only made the smile bigger. The loss of their connection, though, wiped the smile from her face very effectively. And Rachel's words did the job as well.

"You really don't listen when I talk, do you?" Quinn kept her tone light, trying not to betray the hurt she felt. "I told you yesterday, and I'll tell you again - I'm not going anywhere. I can't," she trembled a little, wishing she'd remembered to pull the sheets up over them earlier, "I can't explain why you matter so much to me, Rachel. Why I care about you. But you..." she sniffled, "I can't lose you. I want to stay with you. Whether it's here, or somewhere else, I just...please?" It was the best she could manage. "Please don't make me leave."

Her voice dropped to a whisper. "And I know you hate doing it, but is there any chance you could...open our connection up again? I'm so tired. And it feels good when we're...like that."

Rachel was about to respond when she felt Quinn tremble and it finally dawned on her that she was almost naked. She quickly scrambled to pull the sheet up and around her to hide her body, ignoring the protest in her muscles. She didn't want Quinn the to see scars that mottled her frame. She hoped the other girl hadn't been paying attention. "You don't have to leave, Quinn. I...I wouldn't force you. I just figured you would want to go. You've done more than your civic duty in helping me," she explained, finally opening her eyes to look over at her friend. The light hurt at first, but at least she could see properly.

Surprised at Quinn's request, Rachel nodded. She opened the connection again, feeling the warmth of her companion flow around her, but she didn't enter Quinn's mind. It was a relief to be in control again. Her head hurt, but she figured that it would take a couple of days to recuperate from the strain. It was interesting that Quinn wanted the intrusion. Most people hated the feeling. "Did you get any sleep?" she asked softly. "You should try to rest as well."

"Rach," Quinn whispered, grateful for the warmth provided by the thin sheet. "It's not a duty. You're - at least I hope you are - my friend. I care about you. I want," her voice hitched. "I want to be where you are." She met Rachel's gaze evenly, blinking tears from her eyes.

She relaxed a little as she felt Rachel re-open the connection, reveling in the feeling. "Thank you," she murmured, shutting her eyes to try and feel it more completely. "No," she shook her head in answer to Rachel's question. "I couldn't. I was so scared that if I closed my eyes, something might happen to you. And I wouldn't know," even with the warmth of their connection, she couldn't keep herself from shivering at the thought. "I don't know how much longer we can stay without paying again," she sighed. "It's okay, I promise - I can rest some other time."

Rachel looked at Quinn quizzically for a moment. "Of course we're friends, Quinn. I just...it seems like all I've done is pull you into these awful situations," she looked away for a moment. "I don't want to hurt you any more than I already have. You've done so much for me and I care about you too. You deserve to be happy, not miserable trying to help someone like me." She sighed and stiffly dragged a hand through her unruly hair.

"Don't worry about payment, okay? You took care of me yesterday. Now it's my turn to do the same for you. You need to get some rest," she noticed the shiver and shifted closer to Quinn, pulling the other girl close again.

"You've never dragged me into anything," Quinn argued. "I've involved myself with you by choice. And despite what you may think, you've never hurt me - not ever." She tightened her grip on the other girl. "Listen," she whispered, "because I need you to understand this. Right now? In this second, in this crappy motel room? This is the happiest I've felt in a long time. Because I _am_ here with you, and doing the best I can to help you. That _makes_ me happy. Because I care about you."

She could feel her eyes fighting to close, but she didn't want to give in just yet. She felt so _good_ in Rachel's arms, though, warm and content. "Are you sure - you're okay? Can't sleep if you're not okay."

Rachel gently brought her hand up to push some hair back from Quinn's face. "I understand, Quinn. You like helping others. You have a big heart...it's very kind of you. I feel very lucky to have met you and to have you as my friend," she smiled at her friend. "I only hope that someday, I can return the kindness that you have shown towards me." She pulled Quinn closer and softly began trailing her fingers through the short, pink hair. "Shhh...go to sleep. I'm fine. Not one hundred percent, but I'm getting better and now that I'm resting here I'll be okay. You get some sleep. You'll probably need it if you plan to stay around me," she joked lightly.

"I'm really lucky too," Quinn was losing the struggle to stay awake, and getting more incoherent. "And you don't ever have to repay me..." she hummed with pleasure at the feeling of fingers in her hair, and she knew she couldn't fight it anymore. "'kay," she smiled at the joke even as she drifted off. She was out cold before she even realized, dead asleep in Rachel's arms.

Rachel continued to stroke her fingers through Quinn's hair, using the connection to wrap around her friend's mind and shield her from any bad dreams. "Sleep well, my Angel," she whispered, kissing Quinn's forehead. "You saved my life and I don't think I will ever be able to repay your kindness, but I'll do my best to try." She closed her eyes and allowed herself to rest as she held Quinn close. She began to hum a light melody that she remembered from her father's so long ago.

Quinn's subconscious picked up Rachel's soft humming, allowing it to permeate her dreams. They were good dreams - all of them seeming to revolve around the two of them, little scenes of domestic bliss or happiness on the road, wherever they ended up. It was like a vision of everything she wanted, and the corner of her mouth turned up into a smile even as she slept. It was probably the best sleep she'd had since she was a small child.

Rachel eventually allowed herself to fall into a light slumber to continue to gather her own strength. She stayed conscious of the world around her in case she needed to protect the girl in her arms, but she allowed her body to rest itself. Quinn's presence calmed her and kept her mind from her own troubles.

Quinn didn't know how long she'd been asleep - the room's only window, which was dark and streaked, looked out on a brick wall across the alley, so it wasn't helpful in determining the time. She was in no hurry to move in any case. She felt rested - really, properly rested - for the first time in forever. And she knew she owed that to the girl who was holding her. To the way their minds were connected, the comforting warmth of her. Quinn hadn't lied when she'd said this was the happiest she'd been in a long time.

She didn't want to disturb the moment. She just wanted to listen to Rachel's soft breathing, inhale the scent that was uniquely _her_, and maybe just stay here forever if she could. But that probably wasn't an option. And she needed to start thinking about what their next step was. Where they could go from here.

Rachel shivered and felt herself inch closer to Quinn, wrapping herself in the other girl's warmth. It was a little strange that a girl who could manipulate ice generated such a comfortable warm presence. The brunette was grateful for it, in any case. She unconsciously nuzzled her face into the pale neck before her, breathing deeply to surround her senses with the smell that was uniquely Quinn as she tightened her hold on the taller girl. Her hand in Quinn's hair playing with the fine hairs at the nape of her friend's neck.

Quinn was trying not to give away the fact that she was awake, but Rachel's hand tickled when it played with her hair, and she shifted slightly. "Morning," she whispered, not completely sure if Rachel was awake or only moving in her sleep. "Or afternoon, or whatever time it is."

Rachel grunted, but figured she should give a more appropriate response. "Afternoon, I believe. Are you feeling better?" she asked, still nuzzled into Quinn's neck. She sighed and figured she should move back from the other girl even though her mind protested. Pushing away, she opened her eyes and looked at her friend. "You look better." The brunette turned over and searched the room for her clothes, finding them on the floor by the bed. Grabbing them, she began to dress to cover herself up.

"Much," Quinn sighed happily. "Thank you. That helped a lot, being able to feel you." She bit her lip, embarrassed at how that had sounded. "In my head, I mean. I'm not really a giant horn dog, I promise." She whimpered, disappointed, when Rachel's warmth disappeared, and buried her face in the pillows to inhale the scent of her again.

"I guess we have to get up, don't we?" she sighed, making no move to do so. It didn't bother her that she was in her underwear - if it had been anyone else it might have, but it was...different with her. "Where should we go, do you think?" she asked, more quietly this time. "We can go anywhere you want."

"I've never connected with anyone the way I seem to with you. I don't really understand it, but when you're nearby it's like a constant buzzing in my head and under my skin. I can control myself though, just tell me and I will end the link. I will stay out of your thoughts and feelings as well," Rachel talked as she dressed herself, pulling on pants once her shirt was back in place. "I know what you meant by feeling me. I wouldn't take it another way. You loved Noah once, after all." She shrugged and stood up with only a slight sway, picking up Quinn's clothes and handing them over.

She sighed and ran a hand through her messy hair. "I don't know where we should go. I only had one plan in mind when I left the school..." she said softly with a shrug.

"It's an amazing feeling," Quinn confessed. "Like a warm blanket. If you ever want to end that link you can, but I won't ever ask for it. I trust you, Rachel - I know you wouldn't pry. And like I said, I love this feeling - being connected with you." She swallowed. "I did, yes. But I'm not," she swallowed nervously, hoping she wouldn't scare the brunette away, "I'm not...I try not to limit myself, you know? I think love is about people, not gender." She was digging herself a verbal hole, and she decided to just quit digging before it was too late.

She watched the sway with a worried frown - but if Rachel said she was okay, Quinn would trust that she was telling the truth. She dressed slowly, wishing for a long hot bath, and rolled her neck to work the kinks out. "Well," she began quietly, "I hope you know that I don't want you to go through with that plan. I won't stop you, if that's what you choose - but I will go with you. Outside of that, I guess we have a couple of options. We can stay here in the city - maybe find jobs or something, enough to eat and pay for a place to stay. We can go back to the school - either to stay or while we figure out something else. Or, we can try and get tickets to go somewhere - anywhere - and see where we end up."

She looked eagerly at Rachel. "I don't care where we go. As long as we can go together."

Rachel nodded at what Quinn was saying. It was nice to have someone that she could rely on. "I like being with you too..." she realized the slip of the tongue too late, but shook it off. The taller girl would know what she meant. "I think the same. I have...had two fathers, after all. They taught me to be accepting of everyone." She smiled over at Quinn and sat back down on the edge of the bed, waiting for her friend to finish dressing. "With your new look, I'm sure you'll be fighting of suitors of both persuasions so you'll have plenty of opportunities to find it." Part of her was sad to think about it, but she tried to shake it off. She was lucky enough to have Quinn as a friend after the other girl had seen her past. Besides, she was used to being the unwanted girl. Only her fathers had really loved her and she'd lost that years ago.

"I can't go back home with you. I don't want anything to happen to you..." she said quietly. "I suppose it's best we go back to McKinley. We had free board there and can continue our education in a relatively safe environment. I've never had a chance to get a formal education. I want to make my fathers proud. Someday, I'll be able to go home and show them..." She looked down at her hands sadly.

The words felt even warmer in her head than her link with Rachel, and she nodded and smiled to let the other girl know she'd understood what she meant. She knew better than to think the girl had any feelings for her. Not the way that she...Quinn paused. Where had _that_ thought came from? Was that why...was she...she was attracted to Rachel. It was a stunning revelation, but one she couldn't take the time to process right then. "Well, I'm not sure about that. Most people that know me - they don't like me very much. I don't think my hair's going to change that. She finished dressing quickly and moved closer to the brunette, looping an arm around her.

"Okay," she agreed softly, "but if you ever choose to, I will follow you there. Or anywhere." She listened to Rachel's proposal and nodded. "If that's where you want to go," she smiled. "But for what it's worth, Rachel - I think they'd be proud of you with or without an education. You're a beautiful girl who's been through a lot, and you've stayed a good person through it all. I think they'd be very proud."

A thought struck her, and she bit her lip hesitantly. "I...no, never mind," she shook her head, not wanting to seem clingy and desperate.

Rachel looked over at Quinn and rolled her eyes. "Well, most people that know you are idiots. First of all, you're absolutely gorgeous," she looked at Quinn seriously, her words were simple fact. "Secondly, you may think that you're this awful person, but you've shown me nothing but kindness and compassion. You saved my life. You allowed me to use your energy and spend the night holding onto you like a lifeline. If other people can't see beyond the walls you put up then they obviously aren't worth it. However, I truly believe you will find someone who does one day." She nodded resolutely, knowing that Quinn would easily find someone given the opportunity.

She leaned into Quinn's touch, leaning her head on her friend's shoulder and looking. "Is it where you want to go though? This is your life too, Quinn. You don't have to follow me if it isn't what you wish to do..." she said softly. "Maybe they would, but I want to do something that I can show to them." She shrugged and thinned her lips into a line. "What is it? You can tell me..."

Quinn blushed to the roots of her hair. No one - with the possible exception of Puck - had ever said that many nice things to her in that short a time. "Thank you," she whispered, dabbing at her eyes. "And for the record, I wouldn't have done that for anyone but you. Not ever."

Is that where she wanted to go? No - she wanted to stay right here, with Rachel's head on her shoulder and the feeling of their link permeating her mind. Forever and ever. But the school would do. "I'll go anywhere you want," Quinn whispered. "And the school's okay with me - I could probably stand to get an education too. Not that I have anyone to show it off to, but I guess it'd be good for getting jobs and such." She gave Rachel a squeeze. "They would - but I understand what you mean."

She took a deep breath, terrified of what she'd feel if the answer to her question was a negative one. "Could we...I mean if you want, if you'd be okay with..." she looked down at her feet, trying to gather her courage. "Could we share a room? When we get back? I just...I sleep better with you around. When you're in my head. I don't," her voice caught in her throat, "I don't want to be alone."

Rachel furrowed her brow in confusion. "Why me?" was her simple question. She didn't understand why Quinn would do so much for her. It's not like she'd done anything particularly great for her friend. Listening to the other girl's response, she sighed. "Are you sure, Quinn? I don't want to make you do something that you'd rather not. You're your own person." She brought her hand up and around Quinn's shoulders, feeling the need to hold the taller girl.

Hearing her companion's question, she lifted her head to look into hazel eyes. "If...you'd like I suppose I wouldn't be opposed to it. We've spent the night together twice now and I trust you. You're not alone, Quinn. I'd...like to be there for you, if I could. You're my friend now. I look after my friends," she said, bringing her other hand up to brush some hair back from Quinn's face.

"To be a hundred percent honest?" Quinn said softly, "I don't know how it started. I just feel so...drawn to you. Like you're someone I was missing and didn't know it. I just can't imagine not being there for you from now on." She relaxed into Rachel's grip, giving her a smile. "I do want to," she promised. "I don't have any grand plan, and I want to go where you're going. And an education can't be a bad thing."

It may have been the stupidest, most impulsive thing she'd ever done - barring her disastrous night with Puck - but with their eyes locked on each other and Rachel's hand brushing her hair back, she could hardly help it. She leaned forward and kissed her, softly and chastely, on the lips. And then she pulled away and cursed herself. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I just changed your mind about sharing a room, didn't I? Fucking great, Fabray," she hissed, her eyes filling with tears. "Such an idiot."

Rachel couldn't help the bright smile that appeared on her face. "When you say things like that I don't know how anyone could see you as anything other than a wonderfully, kind woman," she said through her elation. "As long as I'm not forcing you there. I want you to be happy as well, Quinn. I care about you too." Feeling Quinn's lips on her own shot a tingle straight through her body. It felt like it was over all too soon and then the girl was babbling and making excuses.

Grabbing Quinn by the back of the neck gently, Rachel brought their lips together once more. She needed that feeling again. The feeling of being wanted by someone and the immense emotion and sensation that traveled through her frame from their physical connection. She desperately held herself back from entering Quinn's mind, scared at the prospect. Instead, she closed off their mental connection so that she could focus on the kiss and not worry about overstepping any more boundaries than had already been jumped.

"Well, you might be the first person I've ever said them to," Quinn smiled, so happy to see the smile on Rachel's face. It lit her up, and right then she decided it was her mission in life to ensure the girl always had a reason to smile. "You're not," she promised, "I want to be there with you."

_Yes!_ was the only thought in Quinn's head. She must have died the night before, she knew, because this was heaven. She returned Rachel's kiss reverently, her arms pulling the other girl closer. "Don't," she whispered when she pulled away a little, having felt their connection vanish, "be here with me. All of you. Mind too." She kissed Rachel again, not ever wanting to stop the feeling. She needed this, more than she'd ever needed anything before. Rachel's lips, her hands, all of her felt _right_, like she was meant to be just exactly where she was - in Quinn's arms.

Rachel melted into the kiss, bringing both her arms up around Quinn's neck to fist into the shocking pink hair. She couldn't get enough of the taste of the girl in front of her and the feelings washing over her. She felt like she'd come _home_. She couldn't help the whine she released when Quinn pulled back to speak. Then soft lips were on hers once again and the telepath renewed the link. She didn't want to harm Quinn and only gently allowed herself to send slight caresses through the connection.

The hands in her hair were just an added bonus, and Quinn groaned softly. She had never felt anything like this before, and all she knew was that she wanted _more_. She felt Rachel flood into her mind, and it made the experience total, filling all of her senses at once. Touch, smell, taste, everything - it was extraordinary, and _so_ powerful. She let her lips part, just enough to caress Rachel's bottom lip with her tongue. She groaned again at the feeling, feeling her whole body start to warm.

She tried, in her own inexact, inexperienced way, to return Rachel's caresses through the link. She wanted the other girl to feel as good as she did, to experience every single sensation that she was.

Rachel scratched along Quinn's scalp lightly and whimpered at the sounds the other girl made. At the feeling of Quinn's tongue dragging across her lip, she felt a shiver travel straight down her spine and she moaned. Her own tongue tentatively sneaked out to move against Quinn's and she shifted her body to straddle the taller girl for better purchase. Feeling Quinn's own presence made her gasp and reel back from the kiss, her forehead resting against the one in front of her as her breath came in pants. She kept her eyes closed, still feeling the buzz all over her body.

Her eyes snapped open and she locked her gaze with the hazel of Quinn's. "Quinn...I..." she didn't even know how to form words properly, her voice lower than usual. She felt like everything was in sensory overload, but in the most magnificent way possible. She intertwined her presence with the taller girl's along their link almost in a choreographed dance as her heart hammered in her chest.

Quinn groaned more loudly this time, the feel of Rachel's tongue against her own lighting a fire in her. When Rachel broke the kiss she whimpered softly, but the feeling of the connection was sustaining the buzz in her head.

"Rachel," it was as soft as a breath, and she was so overcome with feeling when she looked into Rachel's eyes that she could have cried. "I know," she whispered. "I...I've never felt anything like this before." She felt her mind entangled with the brunette's, and she had no context to describe it to herself, all she could do was let herself feel it.

She licked her lips. "You don't have to hold back," she offered. "You can...come all the way in if you want. I'm inviting you in. I want you to know me. All of me." She didn't know how to open her mind, but she tried to pull Rachel's presence back down their link with her, toward herself.

Rachel trembled against Quinn and held onto the pink-haired girl like she was a life preserver. The sensations that were flowing through her were unlike anything she'd ever felt before. "Fuck...I...Quinn, I should stop..." she panted out, pushing and then pulling the girl closer like her mind and body were completely disconnected. When she felt Quinn pull her in with her mind, she couldn't help but let herself fall into the other girl. All of her emotions spilled over. Desire, fear, want, lust, need all flowed from her but she completely wrapped herself around Quinn's mind protectively, gently sending tender strokes across the girl's consciousness in the same way her hands swept through pink strands of hair.

Her gaze bored into Quinn's for a few moments before the brunette moved her mouth along the taller girl's jawline nipping down to the pale neck. She left soft kisses down towards Quinn's beating pulse before latching on gently, one hand scratching lightly down the other girl's back as her tongue laved over sweet skin.

"Please don't," Quinn begged, "don't stop, Rachel, I need..." she didn't know how to finish that sentence, she just knew she needed _this_. Pulling Rachel into her magnified everything a million fold, and she tried to open herself completely to the experience, because she wanted it all. She tried to do what Rachel had done and intertwine their minds, pushing and pulling and making it all more intense.

She moaned loudly, running her hands up and down Rachel's back as she felt the pressure on her pulse point. "Oh god, Rachel - please. That feels - oh...yes..."

Rachel growled against Quinn's neck and bit down lightly, gripping the girl tightly in her arms as her senses and emotions flowed out into Quinn's mind. She gasped feeling the taller girl all around her, permeating ever ounce of her being. She continued her actions, gently using her ability to heighten the sensations the other girl was feeling. All she wanted to do was make Quinn feel all of the things that just the mere presence of her companion evoked in her. The telepath wanted Quinn to know that she was safe and cared for and protected.

Quinn had melded with her and now the taller girl would be stuck with Rachel until the day the brunette died. She would never stop looking after the people that entered her heart and Quinn had taken a piece of her now.

Quinn tipped her head back, crying out. "Oh, oh, oh," was the most coherent thing she could manage out loud. Fortunately she had the link, and she could try and show Rachel what she was feeling without words. What was coming back through it was the most incredible thing she could imagine. The combination of utter arousal and the warmth and comfort from their mental link was utterly intoxicating.

This - this feeling, right now - it was so much more than attraction. She'd fallen for the strong-willed girl, and she was fairly sure she might be falling forever at this rate. She never wanted to be without this sensation, never out of range of their mental link or too far away to reach out and touch her, not ever again.

Rachel felt Quinn's emotions flow back into her and her body arched involuntarily as a deep grunt echoed from her lips. She would pass out from the massive sensory overload if she didn't end things soon. It would be a good blackout, but still she didn't want to worry Quinn. She slowly licked her way up the pale column of Quinn's neck to her ear while simultaneously amplifying the pleasure in their mental link. She pulled on every happy and positive memory that the other girl had while heightening her sense of touch and sound. She nibbled Quinn's earlobe gently and licked the shell of her ear.

"You're mine now, Fabray..." she husked lowly, her lips against the girl's ear as she spoke. Her words were dripping with desire, but the was an undercurrent of love behind them as well. Her final action was to bite down on the lobe and soothe it with her tongue as she poured all of herself through their connection.

She was absolutely on fire, and Quinn certainly wasn't complaining. "_Rachel_! she cried, her body fighting itself as she tried to move every way at once. She didn't know exactly what the other girl was doing via their link, or how, but she was warm and loved and _happy_, and desperately aroused on top of it all.

"Yes," she agreed, "oh god, yes - all yours," she tried to return the combination of lust and affection that she could hear in Rachel's voice. The bite of her ear made her whole body jump, and she used the momentum of the motion to reverse their positions, pinning Rachel below her on the bed. She needed to return the favor, to make her feel as good as she was feeling.

She kissed her, first, her hands roaming the other girl's sides, and followed that up by moving her attention to her neck. She kissed it, and nipped at it, and finally sucked hard where she could see her pulse jumping, all the while trying to send everything she was feeling back down the link into Rachel's mind.

Rachel felt the flip and gasped as Quinn reversed their positions moaning heavily into the kiss. Her hand fisted in the short, pink hair holding the other girl closer. "_Fuck_...Quinn!" she cried out, tilting her head to give the other girl better access. Her whole body was burning up and she felt Quinn_ everywhere_. When the rush of emotions came back down the line, she groaned loudly, gripping Quinn's hip with her free hand as stars danced behind her eyelids.

"That's exactly what I was thinking," Quinn muttered against her neck, writhing a little when Rachel tangled a hand in her hair - she'd had no idea that turned her on so much until now. When Rachel tightened a hand on her hip, she responded the only way she could think of, sucking harder at her pulse point and nudging a leg between the other girl's. She pushed her thigh upward until she made contact, digging deep and sending everything she had through the link. All she wanted, all she _needed_, was to make Rachel feel as good as she felt.

Rachel could feel every inch of her body set aflame. It was like she was burning from the inside out, but it was a wonderful feeling. "Oh, Jesus..." she hissed out as Quinn's mouth sent jolts from her neck down to her toes. When Rachel felt the pressure of the taller girl's thigh, she bucked against it and arched her whole body. Only a squeak of noise managed to pass her lips at the sensation, all other sound lodged in her throat.

The arousal she felt at Quinn being all around her was driving her mad. The brunette pushed back through the connection at Quinn, making her feel everything she was as well. Her hand pushed under the other girl's shirt to find purchase on skin, scratching across Quinn's abdomen. "Quinn...I-I can't...I...this..." she couldn't form words or thoughts anymore.

Rachel moving against her thigh set the bar for the best thing she'd ever felt, and set it so high she didn't know if she'd ever top it. She pushed against her again, steadying herself for another buck of Rachel's compact frame. Her lips kept working at the soft skin of Rachel's neck, the smell and taste of her driving Quinn insane, and when Rachel pushed back across the link, it felt like something in her had redlined.

The hands under her shirt felt freezing cold and burning hot all at the same time, and she threw her head back to let out a strangled groan. "Tell me," she whispered hoarsely after a moment of collecting herself. "Tell me what you need, Rach, anything!"

Rachel released another loud whimper as her body pushed against Quinn again. She felt like she couldn't get enough oxygen in her lungs. Everything was happening at once and tears began to well up in her eyes at all of the feelings flowing through her. "I-I don't...know..." she said gasping for air, her hand trailing around to Quinn's back as her finger's splayed out along the other girl's spine. "_Please_...Quinn..." She whined, not understanding the signals her body was sending her anymore, burying her face in the crook of Quinn's neck as she continued to rock against the toned thigh.

Understanding dawned in Quinn's mind - she had no idea whether Rachel was...experienced, or not. It's not like she was an expert either, but she thought she understood the source of Rachel's frustration. "Listen," she whispered, sending calm thoughts through their connection, "push back against my thigh, okay? Grind right down on it. I promise it'll help." What she _really_ wanted to do was pull the girl's pants down and take care of her properly, but she didn't know if Rachel was anywhere near ready for that. So, setting aside her own aching need, she held the smaller girl steady and sent all the desire she felt straight back at her, trying to help her along.

Rachel heard the words and tried to listen to the instructions, using Quinn's thigh for leverage. She felt a burning sensation in the pit of her stomach as she moved against the girl on top of her. She panted against Quinn's neck and when she felt the desire flood through the connection everything stopped. The burning exploded into a white hot inferno and she cried out Quinn's named against the taller girl's neck as her hands scraped along the her companion's scalp and spine.

As the feeling released itself, tears of relief escaped her eyes and ran down her cheeks. She tightened her hold on Quinn afraid of what this meant. She completely shut down the connection, trying to regroup her thoughts and feelings.

Quinn watched her - and, adding to her own frustration, _felt_ her - come undone, and it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. She felt her own need pooling between her thighs, and she could have cried with frustration when Rachel closed their link.

"It's okay," she whispered, trying not to move. She pulled the other girl closer, rocking her slowly. "God, you're beautiful, Rachel. So beautiful. I've never seen anything so beautiful in all my life." She shifted slightly, crying out when it only served to aggravate her desperation. She buried her head in Rachel's neck, trying not to let on how badly she needed relief.

Rachel felt her heartbeat still hammering away as Quinn whispered her kind words. "I don't...I've never..." she stuttered out, still breathing heavily against the taller girl. Hearing the cry, her head shot up and she looked at Quinn. "Is...is everything all right? Did I do something wrong? Have I hurt you...?" She traced her hand along Quinn's back for any injuries and massaged the other girl's scalp.

Taking a deep breath, the brunette opened the connection once more and eased herself into Quinn to protect and soothe her companion and ensure that Quinn's mind was all right. She'd never forgive herself if she had hurt the pink-haired girl. She was worried that she felt more than would ever be returned. Her feelings scared her to death.

"No," Quinn whispered with a smile, "no, you didn't do anything wrong, I'm fine - I just..." she shifted awkwardly. "I _really_ need what you just had," she admitted, her cheeks reddening. "I need you so badly right now I could cry." Her breath was coming in short gasps, and she was embarrassed at her own neediness. The return of the link helped, but it was a smooth, soft touch, and she needed more than that.

"Please," she finally begged. "Please, Rachel, I need to come. Please help me." She didn't know if the girl in her arms would even understand, but she couldn't even think. She needed release more than she'd ever needed anything, and she needed it to be at Rachel's hands.

Rachel felt her skin hum again just at Quinn's words, but she understood what was being asked of her. She flipped their positions, draping herself over top of Quinn and gently kissing the girl's neck. "What do you need me to do...?" she asked, stroking the strong jaw in front of her with one hand and dragging her fingers across Quinn's abdomen with her other. She heightened Quinn's senses again, caressing her mind with light touches.

Quinn's whole body seemed to jump, and her heightened senses made everything that much more powerful. "I need," she gasped, clutching at the bed sheets with both hands, "your leg. Like I," she moaned, desperate, "like I did with mine. So I can - oh, _fuck_," she whimpered when Rachel's fingers hit just the right spot, "so I can grind against you. _Please_!"

Rachel nudged Quinn's legs apart with her own thigh and slid her leg upwards to apply pressure to the other girl's core. She felt the heat emanating from Quinn and pressed harder into her companion. Gathering herself again, she nibbled and sucked at Quinn's neck while her hand snaked upwards towards the underside of the taller girl's breast. Her fingertips lightly brushed against the material clad skin while her other hand found it's place back in the silky locks of hair on top of Quinn's head.

"_Come for me, Fabray..._" she whispered out against Quinn's ear, using her power to locate the other girl's pleasure senses heightening them and wrapping her own presence around Quinn's in comfort and protection and _love_ while still thrusting her thigh forward.

In any other circumstances, Quinn would have been embarrassed about how quickly it happened, but when her orgasm crashed through her, and over her, and around her, all she could be was relieved. She'd needed it so badly, and every part of it was perfect - Rachel's thigh, the hesitant brush of her breast, the hand in her hair, the sound of her voice, and their shared minds working together, every bit of it was perfect. Her body locked up so tightly she couldn't even scream, and then all the energy seemed to leave her in a rush, and she was left a crying heap, pulling Rachel so tightly against her she worried she was cutting off the girl's air. "I love you," she cried, not caring that it was too soon for words like that, only concerned with telling her what she felt.

"I love you so much," she repeated, tears streaming down her cheeks as she pulled Rachel toward her for a kiss. She'd lost all control of their mental link, and she could only hope that her love was obvious in what she was sending back, and that it wasn't a sort of mental gibberish from her scrambled brain.

Rachel felt Quinn let go and wrapped her arms around the other girl gently, feeling the tingle wash over her own body. Hearing Quinn's declaration, she gently fed herself through the connection to protectively ensconce the other girl. _I love you too, Angel_, she projected into the pink-haired girl's consciousness. "More than I can express," she finished with words. It terrified her to feel this much for another person, especially someone who she'd only known for a few weeks. The link that they shared helped to put her at ease slightly. It wasn't there with anyone else. Only Quinn could make her feel completely out of control and yet safe at the same time.

She trailed her hand through Quinn's hair tenderly, trying to comfort her lover. "Shhh...it's all right, Love," Rachel whispered words of comfort to the girl in her arms, rubbing gentle circles on Quinn's back as she allowed the taller girl to gather her bearings.

Quinn trembled as aftershocks seemed to roll over her, but she heard Rachel's voice in her mind, and suddenly everything was okay. All that she'd been through, everything that had led her to this point - it was all worth it to hear those words. To know that her feelings were reciprocated and that she was loved. She relaxed under Rachel's tender touches, until she felt calm enough to open her eyes and meet the brunette's gaze. "What you do to me," she whispered, reaching up to cup her cheek with one hand. _I've never felt more right, more content_ she sent back across their link, _than I do right now. I love you._

Rachel snuggled into Quinn's embrace, burrowing her face in the crook of Quinn's neck. _You do the same to me. You make me feel safe. You saved my life. I love you, Quinn Fabray._ She trembled slightly, but let herself relax in Quinn's arms. "I've never been with anyone...I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry I didn't know what I was doing..." she felt embarrassed and ashamed that she had needed direction to satisfy the other girl. She wanted to know what this all meant. Quinn said she loved her, but would she want to be with her like this once they got back to McKinley? She hadn't even known what to do. Surely there were plenty of other people that would be better suited to take care of Quinn.

Quinn stroked Rachel's soft hair with one hand, nuzzling her head. _As long as you're with me, and I'm with you,_ she promised, _I will always save you. I love you too, Rachel Berry._ The switch between mental communication and verbal was effortless now, and she kept her voice at a whisper as she pulled Rachel closer, trying to keep her from trembling. "Hey," she put her other hand on Rachel's back, "you say that like it's a bad thing, but it's not. I loved that I was your first," she confessed with a blush. "I hope to be your only. And there's nothing wrong with not knowing - we'll learn each other, we'll learn together." She felt Rachel's fear - not the details, but a sort of shapeless idea - and hoped it would help if she confessed her own. "That is - if that's what you want. Because it's what I want. When we get back to school, I want to share your room. Share your bed. Share your life - the good, the bad, the ups and the downs, everything that makes you Rachel Berry. I never want to be away from you if I can help it, and I want to smile when I see you walk down the hall and think to myself 'that's my girl.'" She bit her lip nervously. "Is that what you want?"

Rachel melted into Quinn's arms and allowed the other girl's warmth to surround her. "I want that. I want to be that person for you, but...I don't want to disappoint you," she frowned and swallowed heavily. "This whole relationship between the two of us...ever since we met has been you helping me. It's not fair to you..." She softly kissed Quinn's neck and inhaled the unique scent of the girl in her arms to calm her racing thoughts.

"Y-you want to be my...girlfriend...?" she asked hesitantly. Rachel had always been confident and strong, but she seemed to be unable to keep her defenses up around Quinn. The other girl always got to see her worry. "I want to be with you like that, but...I want to be able to do for you what you do for me..." She sighed and closed her eyes against Quinn. _Relationships are supposed to be give and take. The only thing I've been doing is taking and it's not right._

"You'd never disappoint me," Quinn promised. "I don't have grand expectations of you, Rachel, I'd never ask you to be perfect - I'd only want you to be you." She knew she might have a hard time finishing her words, so she switched to thoughts. _You have no idea, do you? How much you've helped? Rachel, when I came back this year I swore I wasn't going to talk to anyone, wasn't going to get involved with anyone, no matter what. But you came into my life and you changed that in a heartbeat. Now being involved with you is the only thing I want in the world. You've helped me too - you've made me a better person._

Hearing the word out loud made it so _real_, and Quinn sighed happily. "Yes," she nodded emphatically. "That's exactly what I want. I want to be your girl, if you'll have me." She kissed the top of Rachel's head. "You have no idea how much you do for me, Rach, and how much I love you for it."

Rachel sighed and nodded. _It's not expectations, Love. It's just...you've done so much for me. I only want to be able to reciprocate. You say I've made you a better person, but I think that person was always there. You just chose to hide her for whatever reason._ "I want you to be mine, Quinn. I don't think I could really handle it if someone else had you now," she looked into Quinn's eyes and smiled before leaning in to kiss the girl she loved.

Quinn blinked back a tear - Rachel seemed to know exactly what to say to her. _You do reciprocate, my love. Maybe you're right about that person being there, even if I'm not sure, but she never could have come out without you. You made her...you made me...able to be that person. And I can't ever thank you enough for that._ "Thank god," she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut to hold in tears as she returned Rachel's kiss. "I don't ever want to be anyone else's but yours. Not ever again."

Rachel played with Quinn's hair gently and turned her gaze to trace over her girlfriend's features. She was in awe that someone like _her_ could have someone like Quinn actually love her. Sure, she was confident in her abilities and her attitude to survive, but letting people get close was another story. She'd always believed that she didn't deserve it and even if she wanted to be loved, that she wasn't worth all of the pain and suffering she'd inevitably bring upon the people she cared for. However, being with Quinn made her feel like there was hope. Like she could be a better person.

"We should get up and start heading back. As much as I'd love to stay in your arms all day, this isn't exactly the most ideal place. Plus, it will be nice to change clothes and take a shower," she said with a soft smile. Her body was still quite sore and though being linked with Quinn had taken some of the pounding away, she could feel the throbbing in the back of her mind.

Quinn chuckled, realizing how delightfully sticky and _sated_ she felt. She cast a quick glance over at the room's tiny bathroom and quickly decided a shower in there would be risking some kind of horrible disease. "A shower sounds really good," she admitted. "Maybe together?" she raised a flirty eyebrow.

And then she found herself, inexplicably, on the verge of tears. She waved an awkward hand at the brunette, trying to dispel a worry that anything was wrong. _It's okay_ she sent, _I'm sorry, I'm just - I don't know how I got so lucky. What I could ever have done in my life to deserve you._ She sniffled. "Ignore me," she shook her head. "Just being a sap. You're right, we should get going."

Rachel chuckled at her girlfriend and shook her head. "You're insatiable apparently. I think I might like it," she grinned salaciously and gave Quinn a kiss, pushing herself up and getting off of the bed. She held out a hand to the other girl and pulled upwards so that they both were standing. She felt Quinn before seeing her, being more attuned to her power and she simply smiled fondly at her lover. _Don't apologize. Also, don't say you're lucky yet. You haven't been with me long enough to find out all of my annoying habits._ She stuck her tongue out at Quinn.

She wrapped her arms gently around the taller girl's neck, playing with the hairs at the base of her girlfriend's neck. "Ready to go, Angel?" she asked softly, lifting herself up slightly to kiss Quinn lightly.

"You have no idea," Quinn waggled her eyebrows playfully. "But I promise you'll find out." She let Rachel pulled her upward, her legs feeling a little like jello as she stood. _Well, so far, I've been with you long enough to find out that you're annoyingly cute, in the absolute best possible way._ Quinn stuck her tongue out right back.

"Yeah," Quinn nodded, absolutely loving the way Rachel played with her hair. She returned the kiss with quiet passion, not trying to turn it into something sexual but only showing the smaller girl just how much she was loved. "Although if you keep playing with my hair like that, we may need to go and pay for another night, because we'll never get out of here." She wrapped her arms around her girlfriend, running her hands up and down her sides.

Rachel just smirked. "Well, I can't wait," she said, holding Quinn tightly. _Rachel Berry is not cute. Fierce and determined, sure, but not cute. Watch it, Fabray, or you'll lose that thing._ She raised her eyebrow playfully at the taller girl. Feeling her girlfriend rubbing her sides, she shook her head and stepped back. "I like the way your hair feels. I like running my fingers through it. It smells amazing too...but I'll refrain for now because we really should leave. Besides, we'll have lots of time for that when we get settled in at McKinley again." She slid her hand down Quinn's arm to intertwine her fingers with the other girl and pulled her to the door to leave.

"Neither can I," Quinn waggled her eyebrows again. _Noted,_ she chuckled aloud, _but you'll have to forgive me if I still mistakenly think you're cute sometimes_. She was disappointed when Rachel pulled back, but she knew it was for the best. They did have to leave the motel sometime. "I hope that's a promise," she whispered as she took Rachel's hand. "Because I'm going to need plenty of time for that." She looked back at the motel room wonderingly as she opened the door - who would have imagined that it would be this, of all places, where she found out where she belonged?

Rachel gave Quinn a single look, curving her mouth upwards in a grin. "Insatiable," was all she said as they made their way out of the motel and started the journey back to the school.


	26. Chapter 26

It had taken them the afternoon, but they had finally made it back to the school. Rachel had needed the extra time since her body was still recovering. In the moment, she had put off her soreness to pleasure her girlfriend, but walking out of the motel she could feel that she'd be paying for it. They had stopped at a small restaurant on the way to grab a bite to eat with the money left over from the bus ticket and her stomach was now less upset. It was the first meal she had eaten in four days so she had made sure to take it slow. Now they were ready to enter her old room at the school and she remembered the way she left it. "You'll have to forgive the mess, Quinn. I...left in quite a hurry," she sighed and turned the doorknob to enter the bedroom.

Seeing the bloody note on the floor, the brunette quickly moved to pick it up and threw her bag down near the dresser. She stepped over to the bed to pick up her bloody shirt and folded it up to throw it in the garbage. "Feel free to make yourself at home. I don't really have many things so there should be quite a bit of room for you," she turned back to her girlfriend after cleaning up with a small smile. "I'm going to unpack my few things and then I _really_ want to take that shower." She felt sticky and uncomfortable. Despite her lack of sexual prowess, she was intelligent enough to know that her underwear was most likely ruined from their earlier activities.

Quinn had kept their pace as slow as possible - Rachel had seemed very sore and tired, even after their long rest, and she hadn't wanted to rush her at all. Their brief meal sat a bit uneasily in her stomach, but she knew that she needed it, so she'd eaten willingly enough.

"Don't be silly," she murmured, "I did the same. I'm hardly the world's neatest person anyway." She saw the note that Rachel picked up and felt a dagger of guilt when she realized it was her letter. She'd never forgive herself for the words she'd written on that page. _I'd ask if I could shower with you, but that probably wouldn't help how tired you look_. Quinn marvelled a little at how easy it was getting for her to communicate silently. _I'll unpack while you shower. And then I think we should try and get a bit more rest._

Rachel offered an apologetic smile to Quinn as she unpacked the few things she owned and placed them into her drawers. "Please get comfortable," she said, grabbing a few pieces of clothing to change into after her shower. She sighed in relief at Quinn's statement. Now she wouldn't have to make an excuse as to why she didn't want her girlfriend to see underneath her clothes. _I'll be quick. I just want to wash of the blood and clean myself up a bit. Once I'm done you can take one yourself and then we can rest._

She moved to quickly give Quinn a kiss before turning and heading into the bathroom, locking the door behind her and beginning to undress. Rachel moved slowly, not really wishing to aggravate her sore muscles and she dropped the connection between herself and Quinn to rest her power. The connection between herself and the pink-haired girl was effortless, but she was still on overdrive from the previous few days. The brunette grabbed two painkillers and swallowed them to help with the pounding in her skull before turning on the hot water and stepping into the shower to wash away the dirt and blood from her body.

"That shouldn't take long," Quinn smiled. "I'm already comfortable." She stretched, her back popping. _Sounds great. If you need anything, just call me. Especially if it's cleaning those hard-to-reach areas,_ she winked.

Once she was alone, she sat heavily down on the bed with a sigh. Everything had changed so dramatically, so quickly, and the most amazing part of it all was that she was happy. Really, truly happy. She felt her connection to Rachel disappear and frowned. She hated not being linked - it made her feel alone. But she knew Rachel had to rest, and she assumed that was part of it. She unzipped her bag and pulled out some sleeping clothes, leaving the rest where it was until she'd had a chance to discuss closet space and dresser drawers with the brunette, and took a long look around the room.

If she'd thought her own room (her half, at least) was sparse, it was nothing in comparison to Rachel's. There were no pictures, no decoration, nothing at all that marked it as hers. Quinn quickly decided that she needed a picture of the two of them to hang on the wall, and decided to take one as soon as she could.

Rachel cleaned herself quickly, not really wishing to dwell on things. She didn't really like looking at herself too much. Every scar that lined her body was a memory she wished to forget and she already had enough regrets in her life. Stepping out of the tub, she grabbed a towel and dried her body before using it to drain the excess water from her hair. Dressing slowly to avoid anymore pain, she noticed that the painkillers had dulled her migraine quite a bit.

Once finished clothing herself, the brunette grabbed her brush to make her hair less unruly and brushed her teeth to make sure Quinn wouldn't have to deal with any other terrible tastes or smells. With a final look over herself, she nodded and opened the bathroom door to step out. "It's all yours, Angel," she smiled to her girlfriend and hung up her towel to dry. "I'm just going to do a bit of reading while you're getting clean. I was already behind before this past week. I do not relish to think about now." She pouted a little, but moved to sit in a desk chair cracking open a textbook.

Quinn got up from the bed with a yawn, kissing the top of Rachel's head and inhaling the sweet smell of her shampoo. "I'm sorry you've gotten behind," she whispered, unable to resist feeling like it was partly her fault. "If you need a study buddy, I'm good at making flashcards and stuff."

She took a longer look at her girlfriend, sitting there with an open book, and felt her heart skip a beat. She was scrubbed clean, and she glowed - not to mention how adorable and academic she looked with a book in her hand. Shaking her head, Quinn resolved to stop staring at her like a stalker and grabbed her things before stepping into the bathroom. "I'll be right back," she promised, shutting the door behind her.

The mirror was steamed over, but not enough to keep her from seeing herself. Her hair still surprised her, but this new Quinn she saw in the mirror - she _liked_ her. She smiled, she could look herself in the eye - it was an amazing change. She quickly disrobed and stepped into the shower, turning the water temperature up as high as it would go. She took a long, leisurely shower and quickly brushed out her short hair before sliding into a short nightgown and re-emerging into the bedroom. Then she disappeared back into the bathroom when she realized she'd forgotten to brush her teeth. With that accomplished, she tossed her dirty clothes into her bag and flopped down onto the bed.

"Are you ready to come and lie down, love, or are you going to study a while longer?" She tried to keep the pout out of her voice, not wanting to sound like a child.

Rachel poured over her book while Quinn took her time in the shower. She groaned at the thought of catching up in her work. It only got harder to catch up as time went on and weekly lessons became more complex. She was nothing if not determined though. She huffed and nibbled the end of her pencil in thought as she worked on some of the exercises and wrote down notes. She heard Quinn exit the bathroom and chanced a look over at her girlfriend, her breath catching at the sight.

She didn't understand how Quinn could look even more beautiful than before, but cleaned and fresh the taller girl looked stunning. Rachel's breath caught and she simply stared at Quinn for a good few moments before shaking her head and realizing the pink-haired girl had asked her a question. "I can lay with you. I'll just make sure to read during my breaks tomorrow," she marked the page and closed the book, standing up and stretching for a second. Rolling her neck, she walked over to Quinn and crawled up beside the other girl, resting her head on her girlfriend's chest.

Quinn pulled her closer, inhaling the wondrous combination of scents that made up her girlfriend. "Don't work too hard," she murmured, "you'll catch up, I'm sure of it. And I'll help you as much as I can." She sighed softly, wishing that Rachel had reopened their connection - it would be easier than saying this out loud.

"Rachel, I..." she swallowed, running a hand through damp, dark hair. "I know this has happened really fast - and I want you to know that if you...if you change your mind after you get a chance to rest, I - I'll understand. I know I'm not anything special. But I want you to know that I'll do anything for you. That as long as you'll have me, I'll be here for you. I'll keep you safe, and I'll do anything to make you happy." She could feel a tear running down her cheek. "I just wanted you to know that I won't be angry if you decide you don't want me here."

Rachel nodded, gently wrapping herself around Quinn. It felt so _right_ to be in the other girl's arms. "I'll try not to, but I can't promise anything. I tend to get really engrossed in things when I'm trying to do well at something. I appreciate the offer of help though," she smiled and raised her chin to tilt her head enough to give a kiss kiss to her girlfriend's neck. She couldn't help the frown that marred her features at Quinn's next words though.

"Listen here, Fabray," she raised herself on her forearm and use her other pointer finger to turn Quinn's chin to look her in the eye. "I didn't do all of this because I was hurt and needed someone in the moment. I've _never_ let anyone touch me the way I allowed you to be with me. Don't you _dare_ cheapen what we shared together." She locked her jaw and rolled away from Quinn to sit up on the edge of the bed. "If this is your way of telling me that you just want to be friends with me, then have the fucking balls to do it! If it's because we're back at McKinley and Noah is here, then I understand and I'll let you go. Just have the decency to do it yourself..."

She tensed and grabbed the comforter in her hands, blocking out the urge to lash out at Quinn and thankful that she had closed their connection. Rachel had never felt so cheap before. This was why she never let people in. She'd been so stupid to think the other girl would ever want someone like her in that way. When Quinn had professed love to her, she'd meant it in a friendly manner. After what they had shared...she chuckled cynically refusing to let any tears fall. Of course Quinn would be unsatisfied with someone like her. Not only was she a freak, but she hadn't known what she was doing.

How could she be so stupid? Quinn had been placating her to make her feel better and get her back to school. All the flirting and the looks, it was a way to make sure she'd be okay. She understood that her friend had just been looking out for her, but she'd wished that Quinn hadn't used such underhanded methods.

"_No!_" Quinn cried out - she didn't understand how Rachel had misinterpreted her so badly. "No, god - Rachel, I've never felt anything like I felt with you. I love you - I'm _in_ love with you! I'm sorry, I was nervous and scared, and I was feeling really insecure, so I offered you an out if you wanted it. I'm so sorry," she sobbed, putting her hands over her face. "I didn't mean to make it sound cheap - and I don't want anyone but you, not ever, not for the rest of my life! Please, please don't leave me! I love you," she whispered pleadingly, looking up at Rachel with tears on her cheeks. "Please - everyone leaves me, please don't leave me too."

Rachel turned to Quinn and her features softened. "I'd never leave you, Quinn. Even if you didn't want me. Even if you didn't love me. I kind of love you so I couldn't leave you. I'd try to be happy for you and be the best friend you could ever have, but I wouldn't leave you. Even if it killed me to watch you be happy with someone else," she stated brokenly. "I know I'm...inexperienced...but if you give me time, I can work on it. I can be better...for you."

"Then let me say it as plainly as I can, Rachel," Quinn sniffled. "I want you. I don't want anyone else, not ever. And being inexperienced isn't a bad thing, and it's certainly not something you need to apologize for - I'm hardly an expert. Like I said in the motel, we're going to learn together. We're going to learn each other. And you _never_ have to be better than you are, not at anything, because you're perfect. Because you're stuck with me now, forever. _I love you_."

She rubbed at her eyes, wiping the tears away. "I'm sorry I upset you," she whispered, looking down at her hands. "I'm not a very good girlfriend, am I? I'll learn. I'll be perfect for you. Because that's what you deserve." She sighed, reaching out for Rachel's hand. "Could you - I know you're mad at me, but could you open our link? I really need to feel you with me. If you want to, I mean." She closed her eyes, expecting the worst.

Rachel crawled back over to Quinn and draped herself over the taller girl. "I love you too, Angel. You are a good girlfriend. You care for me and you looked after me. You are _perfect_ to me. I just want you to be happy. Please don't ask me to break up with you though. I don't want to and if I was ever truly upset about something or unsure, I would talk to you about it, okay?" she said softly, bringing her hand up to run through Quinn's hair. She nodded at the request and opened the link again, connecting herself to her girlfriend as she nuzzled her face into Quinn's neck.

It was a toss-up as to whether the physical contact or the mental felt better, but Quinn shed a few tears of relief regardless. She felt so alone in her mind without her girlfriend's presence now that she knew what that could feel like. "As long as you're with me, I'll be happy. Always." She stroked Rachel's hair. "I won't ever do that again, I promise. If I'm feeling nervous and insecure, I'll talk to you - but I won't ever make it sound like that again."

She sighed softly, folding her arms around her girl. "I'm going to miss you so much once we're in classes, love. I wish we were taking the same ones." She knew she was pouting, but she couldn't help it. "I'm just going to have to keep you in my arms every moment that we're not. You'll have to figure out how to do your homework with me attached to you, sorry about that." She kissed Rachel's head playfully.

Rachel just grunted an acceptance and chuckled. "I'll be in a classroom on the same floor, you goof. How are you going to stay attached to me if you need to finish your own homework, hmmm?" she asked playfully. "Besides, if you distract me too much, I'll lock you inside a vision in your head until I'm done." She was only joking. She would never actually do that to the girl she loved.

"Well, that's still too far," she pouted. "And I'll forego my own homework as long as I can stay attached to you." She giggled -_god_, did she love how this girl made her feel, the way she could make her laugh. "Well," she said thoughtfully, "as long as you're in that vision to keep me occupied until you let me out, I guess I can live with that." She made sure to send a thought across their link as well. _Don't worry, love, I know you wouldn't really - I'm just playing along with the joke._

Rachel huffed against Quinn and smacked her shoulder. "You should know that if you plan on continuing to date me, there is no way I'm going to let your academics go by the wayside. I do not intend to be with anyone who is unable to keep up with me intellectually, Fabray," she smirked and bit her girlfriend's collarbone lightly. Hearing the thought in her head to calm her nerves made her fall harder for the girl in her arms. _How do you know exactly what to say to me to make everything all right? You really are my guardian Angel._ She sent a wave of love to Quinn, stroking through the pink hair between her fingers.

"Well, in that case, my love," Quinn laughed, gasping at the feeling of Rachel's teeth on her collarbone, "you can rest assured I'll be a straight-A student for the rest of my days, because I'm not about to let standardized testing keep me from the girl I love!" _And you're mine. You saved me, my beautiful love. I hope that I always know what to say, because I want everything to be all right for you, always._ She wrapped her own love around what Rachel had sent, trying to intertwine them, and sent it back across the connection even as she ran her hand through the long dark hair that she loved so much.

Rachel felt Quinn's love wash over her and nuzzled further into her girlfriend. She didn't even know how to respond to the girl underneath her anymore. Quinn had all of the right words and gestures. She did the only thing she knew how to answer back. Raising herself on her forearms and gripping Quinn's hair gently, she leaned down and captured her girlfriend's soft lips with her own.

Quinn whimpered into the kiss - the hand in her hair was working its magic again, and she could feel desire starting to coil in her abdomen once again. Rachel was so beautiful above her - the way her dark hair fell over her shoulders, her magical dark eyes, the way she was so intensely focused on the task at hand. Quinn shut her eyes tight and returned the kiss - a little bit harder than it had begun, but not too aggressively. _God, I love when you play with my hair, love. It just makes me want you so much._

Rachel smiled into the kiss and stroked her hand through the pink hair. _I love your hair. It's so soft and smooth. You're so gorgeous, Angel._ She felt more than blessed to have someone like Quinn in her arms. The girl underneath her was amazing. Quinn had been kind and thoughtful with her and the girl was absolutely stunning. She wasn't sure she'd ever deserve someone like this girl who loved her, but she would do everything in her power to keep her lover close. Rachel snaked her tongue out to swipe along Quinn's bottom lip, biting down lightly on it and sucking. She could never get enough of the taste of her girlfriend.

_I think you're confused,_ Quinn smiled against Rachel's lips. _If there's a gorgeous person in this room, it's definitely you._ She whimpered at the feeling of her girlfriend's tongue, and gasped against her when she felt teeth on her lip. She took the cue and reached up to pull Rachel more tightly against her, letting her own tongue explore the brunette's sweet lips and finally slipping it gently into her mouth. _You taste like...I can't even describe it, love. Something sweet, anyway. I could kiss you all day and never get tired of it._

Rachel dueled her tongue with Quinn's as the feeling of euphoria spread over her. _You taste like home to me. I don't ever want to let you go._ She explored her girlfriend's mouth gently, trying to memorize the taste and feel of every inch of the other girl's mouth. Her fingers stroked the back of Quinn's neck, playing with the fine hairs there. She couldn't get enough of feeling Quinn surround her with warmth and love.

Quinn whimpered softly, from a combination of the feeling of Rachel's tongue meeting her own and the wonderful words in her mind - and the way her hair was being played with certainly didn't hurt either. _Then don't - because I'm never letting you go either._ She tangled a hand in her girlfriend's dark locks, enjoying the sensation of running a hand through long hair. It was overwhelming, how much she was feeling. The way that this little room, this bed, this spot in Rachel's arms, had become home.

She may have grown up with a family that didn't deserve to be called one, but suddenly she had an idea what family could be. Suddenly she had visions of a future, a life filled with happiness. She wasn't sure if she deserved it, but _damn_ she wanted it. And she needed Rachel to know just how much. She wrapped all of her love and her hope, and her intense arousal, and tried to send it along their link. She was still learning how it all worked, but she thought she could manage it.

Rachel felt Quinn's emotions slam into her and closed her eyes, moaning into her lover's mouth. She pulled back panting heavily and buried her face into the pale neck before her. _You're getting too good at this. Soon enough I'm going to be fighting you for control._ She kissed the spot right beneath Quinn's ear and scratched her girlfriend's scalp gently. The was nothing Rachel wouldn't do for the woman beneath her. Quinn was a part of her now and she would give her life to make the ones she loved safe and happy.

Could there be anything quite as amazing as feeling Rachel moan into her mouth? Quinn really didn't think so - and then she was kissing in just the right spot, and her hand was scratching just _so,_ and she had to suddenly revise her opinion. _You'll never have to fight me, my love. I'll gladly give you control whenever you want it. _She had a wicked thought - could she send images as easily as words? She decided it was worth a try and conjured up a mental picture of herself, her wrists secured to Rachel's headboard and a black scarf tied over her eyes, and sent it to the her girlfriend. _See? You can have all the control you want_.

The tone was teasing, but she was deadly serious about ceding control. She loved this girl _so much_ already, and she would do anything she asked. Whatever would make her happy, no matter what it was, Quinn would do it. For now, and for always.

Hearing Quinn's admission made her whimper slight and stay burrowed in the warmth surrounding her. She saw the image and it sent a shiver down her spine as she gasped against her girlfriend's neck. _You're evil._ She felt herself trembling with desire and want. She was completely out of control when she was around Quinn. All she wanted to do was ravage the girl beneath her. but at the same time she wanted to protect Quinn and keep her safe. _I'll keep that in mind though. Literally._

Quinn felt her shiver and knew that her message had been received. _Well, you know what you have to do with evil girls, don't you, love? Punish them._ She felt Rachel tremble and was immediately contrite. _I'm sorry, love - am I pushing things too far? Just tell me to stop if you need me to. _She'd hate to stop, but the last thing she wanted was to drive her girlfriend too crazy - at least, not without relieving her tension afterward.

Rachel wanted Quinn badly. She could feel that her entire body was coiled like a spring. _Maybe that's what I'll do then._ She smirked and bit Quinn's earlobe gently before sucking on it. She scratched lightly at the back of her girlfriend's neck while her other hand trailed up Quinn's side slowly. _I'll stop once I've heard you scream my name. _She felt a rush of confidence to please her lover and somehow she was determined to make it happen.

Quinn shivered at the tone of the words in her head, as much as at the words themselves. The desire she'd felt building in her was suddenly front and center as Rachel bit her earlobe, and the feeling of her nails on the back of her neck was fanning the flames into a massive fire. "Oh, god," she whispered when her girlfriend's hand met her side. She was coming unravelled - Rachel's touch was like heaven. She turned her head to capture her lover's lips in a searing kiss, letting her hand travel down to squeeze Rachel's ass gently.

She was suddenly very aware of how short her nightgown was, and how desperately she wanted out of it. _Rachel - oh, my god - more, please. Whatever you want, whatever you need, just please - more. I need you._

Rachel growled into the kiss lightly at the feel of Quinn's hands on her body. She swiped her tongue out to occupy her lover as her head trailed up to one cloth covered beast and gently massaged it. She felt Quinn's nipple harden under her touch and lightly tweaked the peak between her thumb and forefinger. _Patience, Baby..._ She chuckled and brushed Quinn's hair back with her other hand. It was embarrassing to think about, but she had to admit that she had a slight obsession with her girlfriend's hair. Playing with it for another moment, she slid her hand down her lover's body to pay the same attention to the neglected breast.

Quinn moaned in the back of her throat, parting her lips and allowing Rachel's tongue into her mouth before capturing it with her own. She was already trembling when Rachel's hand found her breast, but when her nipple was squeezed between the girls' thumb and forefinger, her whole body jumped as her hips rose in an effort to make contact with something, anything. And then there was a hand in her hair, and on her other breast, and suddenly she couldn't form thoughts anymore. She tried to tell Rachel through their connection, beg her, anything, but she couldn't focus long enough - if she sent anything at all, she was sure it was just gibberish. She tried verbalizing next, but the desperate moans and quiet whimpers she made against Rachel's mouth were no more effective.

She had been turned on, desperate for release, in the hotel room they'd shared - but this was on another scale. She felt like all the air had gone out of the room, and the only thing in the universe was the contact between herself and her lover. It was all that mattered, all she could focus on, was the frantic need she felt for more - more contact, more kissing, more of _everything_ that was making her feel this way. She felt her nightgown riding up around her hips and imagined Rachel between her legs. She trembled and shook, and couldn't wait to see what the smaller girl had in mind for her next act.

Rachel used the connection to heighten Quinn's pleasure sense and trailed both her hands down to the bottom of the nightgown, lifting it slowly upwards. As her hands moved, she trailed them with her mouth kissing over the flat plane of Quinn's stomach up between the valley of her breasts and back to her mouth. The nightgown was flung somewhere in the room as Rachel began kissing her way back down her girlfriend's body, pausing to nip at her collarbone. Her left hand found Quinn's right breast and she gently scraped her nail over the peak of her nipple.

Kissing her way down to the other breast, she traced her tongue towards the neglected nipple and circled the areola before engulfing it in her mouth. She sucked gently and then bit down softly, making the pleasure explode in Quinn's mind. "You are so _fucking_ gorgeous. I've never seen someone so perfect...so sexy," she husked out, her eyes locking with the hazel of her lover.

The loss of her nightgown was a welcome relief - she was long past being worried about Rachel seeing every part of her, and much more concerned with Rachel _touching_ every part of her, preferably all at once. She felt the waves of pleasure rush into her brain, and she knew she was lost. The nip at her collarbone made her back rise off the bed, and the fingernail scraping over her rock-hard nipple brought her right back down, writhing under Rachel's ministrations with a loud groan. _Rachel - fuck, oh sweet love!_

When her lover's teeth found her nipple, it was like striking a match in a room full of gas - and the pleasure that she sent into her mind just fuelled the explosion. She cried out wordlessly, feeling like she was standing on the edge of a cliff with nothing to stop her fall. She stared into Rachel's eyes, trying to convey without words how achingly close she was. _Please, love, please - I'll scream your name, I'll scream anything, anything you want, just a little more I only need a little bit more, please, Rachel, oh god!_

Rachel felt Quinn writhe under her and smiled against her nipple before releasing it with a pop from her mouth. _As you wish, Angel._ She kissed her way back down and across her lover's abdomen, hooking her fingers into Quinn's underwear and pulling them off her legs quickly. She gently peppered kisses along her girlfriend's hipbone towards her center, smelling her arousal. Thanking herself and her fathers for having such an affinity for the arts and for keeping up with her vocal exercises throughout the years, she leaned in and licked her way through Quinn's folds.

She moaned at the tasted and locked hazel eyes with a devilish gaze. _I'll have you know that I have excellent breath control. _Smirking widely, Rachel dove back in to continue pleasing her lover, addicted to the taste that was uniquely Quinn. She flicked over her girlfriend's clit with her tongue circling it and sending bursts of pleasure through their link. _Now you can scream._

This was so much more than Quinn had ever expected, and she sent up a grateful prayer of thanks that Rachel had felt ready for such an important step so quickly, despite her inexperience. She would pay her girlfriend back, make her feel as good as she felt, she made a solemn promise. But her thoughts disappeared quickly when Rachel's questing tongue found her dripping center. She moaned loudly at the thought in her head about breath control, and she tried to beg the other girl with her eyes before her head fell back against the pillow.

It was like - it was incomparable, the feeling of Rachel's tongue on her clit. The closest thing she could imagine was being plugged into a live wire. Rachel tasted her, circled her clit - and then there was a burst of pleasure that pushed her right off the edge of the cliff she'd felt herself at the edge of, and she made good on her promise. Her first scream was wordless, a sound of absolute bliss, her second was much more communicative. "RACHEL!" she cried, echoing the shout with another across their minds. Her hands searched for purchase, finding the edges of the mattress and squeezing as hard as she could. She'd never felt _anything_ like this before, and she was going to ride the feeling as long as she could.

Rachel continued to taste Quinn's essence as she felt her coming down from her climax. She massaged her girlfriend until she felt the other girl completely relax and then she began kissing her way back up the gorgeous body beneath her. _I hope that was satisfactory, Love. You taste absolutely divine._ She draped herself back over top of Quinn and nuzzled her nose back into her lover's neck, threading a hand in the shortened, pink hair again. She closed her eyes and listened to the steady beat of Quinn's heart as a content smile played out on her face. "I love you, Angel," she whispered out, needing the words to be released.

Quinn was exhausted and utterly content, and she gave her girlfriend a gentle smile as she kissed her way up her tired body. _Satisfactory?_ Quinn chuckled. _My love, my perfect love - that's not nearly a good enough word to describe what that was. I don't think the appropriate word's been invented yet. I think divine is the closest I could come._ She put a careful hand on the back of Rachel's head, kissing it lovingly. "I love you too, Rachel - so much. I can't even begin to find the words to tell you what you mean to me, how grateful I am to whatever brought us together. I can't imagine ever b being without you again."

Once they'd laid there for a few moments, Quinn ran a hand through her dark hair and whispered softly. "Would you like me to return the favor, sweetheart? I need to make you feel as good as you just did me. I mean," she was suddenly hesitant, very conscious of the fact that she was naked and Rachel was not, "if you'd like that. I'll do whatever you're comfortable with." _You're so beautiful, love. It makes my heart hurt, how beautiful you are in my eyes._

Rachel got comfortable in Quinn's embrace, happy that she could make the woman she loved feel good. "Well, you don't have to think about it because I plan on sticking with you for a while," she laughed a little and squeezed her girlfriend tightly. "You don't need to, Love. I just wanted to make you feel good and...you deserve to be treated like the goddess you are." She still couldn't get over how hauntingly beautiful Quinn was. _Thank you, Angel. I don't have words for how breathtaking you are. Especially in the heat of passion._

She moved to pull the sheet and comforter over them so that Quinn wouldn't get cold as time went on and cuddled back into the other girl. If she could please her lover for the rest of their lives then she'd be more than happy. It was all Rachel wanted.

The words were simple, but they still brought happy tears to Quinn's eyes. "I'm so glad to hear that," she whispered, pressing herself against Rachel. "Are you sure you don't_ want_ me to, though? You must be...I mean, aren't you feeling a little keyed-up after all that?" _I'm nowhere near as beautiful as you, my love. There's not even any contest. Although, if I'm going to make a fair comparison, I'd have to see you in the heat of passion as well._

Quinn pulled Rachel closer, molding herself around the brunette and loving the warm weight of her in her arms. She'd long ago given up on the idea of heaven - if her parents were the best example of god's love, she wasn't interested - but if it existed, it must be something like this. She wanted this to last for the rest of forever - she'd only been half-joking when she said Rachel would be too far away during classes.

Rachel bit her lip lightly. "I'm sure, Quinn. I'll be okay..." she said softly. Truth was, she didn't want Quinn to see under her clothes. Thankfully yesterday they had both been preoccupied with other things and her girlfriend hadn't had a really good chance to landscape her body. If the taller girl had, there was no way she would be making the compliments she currently was. The telepath was happy seeing Quinn happy anyways. Her own pleasure was unimportant as long as she was satisfying Quinn.

Quinn frowned a little. _Love, did I do something wrong yesterday? Something that made you think I won't be careful or gentle with you? I don't want to be the kind of person who's selfish about pleasure, who doesn't give just as much as I get, you know?_ She was a bit worried that she'd done something really wrong, and she hoped Rachel would tell her what it was so that she could fix it.

Rachel looked up at Quinn wide-eyed and shook her head violently. "No!" she cried out. _No, no, no...you were wonderful and gentle and I loved it. I've never felt anything like it before. It was magnificent. You're not selfish at all. If I had a problem believe me, I'd tell you._ She squeezed her lover tightly and played with Quinn's hair, gently brushing it from her forehead.

Quinn was confused, but she was relieved to hear she hadn't done something to hurt her girlfriend, or make her afraid that she would be anything less than worshipful in bed. She still didn't understand why Rachel didn't want her to repay the glorious orgasm she'd been given, but maybe she was tired - Quinn didn't want to push too hard and seem overly forceful or something. _Okay,_ she grinned happily when Rachel played with her hair. _Maybe tomorrow, then, love? I - I'd really like to taste you the way you did me. To know you that way. If you'd like that - if you'd be okay with it._

_I...sure, Angel._ Rachel smiled up at Quinn. She could deal with tomorrow when it came for now she could just bask in Quinn's happiness. Besides, tomorrow she could always just _distract_ her lover again. If she could keep Quinn satisfied and content, then maybe her girlfriend wouldn't want to see her body. She didn't want to disgust Quinn. The other girl had seen her face and sure, she was decent looking enough. The only scar mottling her face was the tiny one over her left eyebrow.

When she was younger, even sixteen, she wouldn't have been as private about her body. A lot had happened over two years and she could barely even look at herself most of the time. Sure, she was still fit and barring the "war wounds", she'd look pretty athletic but no one wanted to look at what she had to offer. She didn't even wear tank tops in ninety degree heat. Maybe it wasn't so bad she was dating a manipulator of cold. She could get Quinn too cool her down in the summer when she had to wear bulky clothes.

The hesitation was obvious, probably more than Rachel realized, but Quinn didn't know how to approach the subject. She was at a loss - her girlfriend had promised that she hadn't done anything wrong, but she seemed disinterested in letting her make love to her. She tried to keep her worry to herself, though, giving Rachel a tired smile. _Tomorrow, then._ She stifled a yawn. _As for right now, I don't know about you but a nice long sleep sounds like a really good plan to me._ She leaned down and kissed Rachel softly.

Rachel stroked Quinn's hair gently. _Okay, Love. We have had a very strenuous few days. We're back to class tomorrow so rest and feel better. I won't allow you to skip your studies._ She laughed softly and kissed her girlfriend back. "Good night, Angel," she said, resting her head back over her lover's heart and allowing the gentle beat to lull her to sleep.

_So I recall you mentioning once or twice,_ Quinn chuckled quietly, smiling as Rachel laid her head down. "Good night, my love." Sleep was elusive - Rachel's seeming lack of desire to be made love to was bothering her, and she felt strange being back at McKinley so soon after she'd thought she was leaving forever. And it may have been those thoughts that led to her bad dreams, a few hours after Rachel had fallen asleep.

"No," she was whispering in her sleep, her head shaking back and forth. "No, let me out, please, I'll be good, Daddy, I'll never do it again, please, just let me out, it's so dark in here, please."

Rachel felt the negative feelings and thoughts seep into her head and she found herself waking up to Quinn's words and thrashing. Feeling awful for not shielding her lover's dreams like she normally had, the brunette pushed through the connection and wrapped her love around her girlfriend's mind warding away the bad thoughts. "Shhh...come back to me, Angel. Everything is all right..." she whispered. She began to hum a soft melody in Quinn's ear to calm her down.

As the nightmare receded, Quinn could feel Rachel there with her. She snapped awake, but without panic, her only consuming impulse in the moment being an urge to look her girlfriend in the eye and know that she was safe. "I'm sorry," she whispered, tears standing in her eyes. "I didn't mean to wake you. I don't dream about that as much as I used to..." she trailed off. "Thank you for saving me," she finished, reaching out to run a hand down Rachel's back. "You always save me."

Rachel only shook her head and frowned. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Love. I normally shield your dreams, but I suppose I was tired and I forgot. I'm sorry..." she sighed and ran a hand through Quinn's pink hair. "Go back to sleep, Gorgeous. I'll watch over you." She smiled and kissed the underside of her girlfriend's jaw, resting her head back on Quinn's chest.

Quinn was touched beyond words. "I - thank you, love. I'm sorry that you have to do that, but...thank you." She kissed the top of Rachel's head and sighed softly before setting her head back down on her pillow. "Goodnight, my beautiful love." There was no fear of those dreams repeating themselves, but she was still awake for a time, just watching Rachel breathe and trying to imagine how she'd ever gotten so lucky. When sleep finally did claim her, it was blissfully dreamless.


End file.
